Chapter Text
After a 40-minute drive of panicking, crying a bit, and hyperventilating over my freaking sister I finally made it to I-haul™. I parked the car in the farthest corner of the parking lot. I took a moment to collect myself… well, more like 10 minutes, But, eventually, I got myself to step out of the car and into the building. An employee at the front desk greeted me.
“Welcome to I-haul™! What can I do for you today?”
“Uh, I just need some boxes, I need about 7 medium ones and 2 large ones, I think…” I replied, totally very sure of myself.
“Well, I can get you some boxes then, 7 and 2 you said?” They crouch down and open a cabinet, pulling 9 boxes out and setting them on the desktop,
“That’ll be $11.41 for the 7 and $3.94 for the 2 which is a total of $15.35. Cash, credit, or debit today?” As the employee spoke, I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet… which was scarily empty, but I just haven’t gotten paid recently,
“Debit please, I don’t have cash on me,” I said as I slipped out a debit card from my wallet. “Is it a plug or swipe?”
“Either one works! Also, would you like cash back at all?”
“Uh, no thank you,” I answered the questions on the payment terminal, then swiped the card when it told me to. It beeped and confirmed the transaction.
“Perfect! You’re all set. Have an amazing day, and thank you for stopping by!” The employee smiled, and I smiled back and grabbed the boxes holding them under in-between my arm and my torso.
“You have a good day too!” I responded as I turned around and left the store. As I’m walking back to the car it does set in that I’m moving states away from my family, so if anything bad happens, there's no way I could get back in a day… I’d take at least a few days to find a flight or almost two full days straight of driving. Stopping to sleep and eat adds at least a whole day to that already! I’m extremely lucky I got a scholarship. I don’t even know how, but I did. But it’s so freaking inconvenient that we live in San Francisco which is across the entire country! I can believe that I’m risking my family just to go to a fancy school that only very few people get into per year…
I sigh as I reach the car. I opened the driver's door and sat down. I placed the boxes on the passenger seat and I just sat there. Just thinking. Thinking about how Nor was going to live without me. I mean, she’s only 7. Our mom isn’t back till late most nights and is gone by the time we wake up, who would watch her? Who would make her breakfast and dinner, who would play with her and let her sleep in their bed when she had nightmares? Who was going to care for her and teach her how to be a good person… who would love her like I do? I hate the idea of a babysitter. We used to have one, right after we moved in, Nor was still just a baby - about a year old, but I remember. That sitter… was a dick. I hated her with every drop of blood in my body.
She didn’t feed us or do anything but sit on her phone. I told my mother after a week and she fired her on the spot. My mother handed me a key and said that I’d watch Nor after school, and one of her friends would come over while I was at school. I swore that day that I would take care of my sister and be the best brother I could be. So, no matter what, I’d watch her with care. Or any kids for that matter. But I always kept Nor with me, no matter what. She’d play with toys while I cooked, or when she was old enough, she would help me season things. I’d take her with me when I went to the store or on a walk. It's funny, I was the person to hear her first words…it's kinda dumb, but she said “cracker” while I was cooking, and I dropped everything to be overly happy for her.
She’s always been the most important thing in my life… I’m sad I can’t just take her with me to college. But I’m sure that… she’ll do fine… I need to get home. So I start up the car, take a deep breath, and get back on the road to go home. I don’t think I wanna pack…well, no. I have to pack. I can’t just not pack. If I put it off till tomorrow I’ll lose my mind until I start. Which probably would happen at 3 am. Not great. I'll probably wake up Nor and Mom. So I’ll just hope I get home fast.
And fast I went, well, as fast as LA traffic would let me. But in my favor, I was home in 30 minutes flat. As soon as I pulled into our garage, I parked the car and stepped out, grabbing the boxes as I left. I locked the car and opened the door to the house, immediately going up the stairs to my room. I nearly slammed the door shut, set the boxes against my dresser, and then collapsed on my bed. I almost cried as I did.
I just can’t stop thinking and worrying and just… being desperate that this is a dream. I don’t want to leave. But it's so I can have a good life and a good job… and a wife… I just… can’t leave Nor… If I had to leave her… I’d… I’d off myself… I…. shouldn’t think like this… I really shouldn’t… It's just my sibling… It’s not like I won’t see her again… It’s not like she’s my kid… I'm sure she’ll be just fine without me… I’m sure she’ll just forget about me. Well, maybe not forget, but she’ll care less than I care about her. Is that sad? Well, it made me sad. Shocker.
Well, there’s nothing I can do now. I just have to suck it up and pack… maybe I can hang out with Nor all month. Not like I can do much to not be sad, but… it's whatever now. I can't drop out now… I worked so hard for this… being a surgeon is, like, my dream job. You know what? I'll make sure to come back during every holiday no matter how short. It's the least I could do for Nor now.