Chapter Text
“Yeah, I’m actually going to kill you.”
Gwen stares at the large retail store sign in bright pink letters. Her eyes move to the entrance only to be met with a bunch of pink staring back at her from the inside.
“No way I’m going to be seen in there. And since when was pink your thing, Heather?”
“It’s not, clearly,” she gestures to her outfit, which was severely lacking of the colour. “but this store sells a perfume I like and I’m getting more. Just… wait at Spencers or something.” Heather starts shooing her.
“Very funny.”
“Want to come with, Court?” Heather offers.
“I’m good here.”
“Suit yourself. I’ll be fast.”
Heather walks inside the pink-filled wonderland leaving Gwen and Courtney to stand outside.
“I still don’t understand why we need to go clothes shopping just for one party.” Courtney tells her. “I could be more productive at home right now.”
“C’mon, it’s only been a week! And you worked at home yesterday right? You should take a break from the books.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Courtney tucks her hair behind her ear. “Honestly, it’s been a bit since I’ve been out like this, I guess I’m not fully used to it? But today’s nice so far, I like being out. Mainly with you.”
“Well you’re not too bad yourself,” Gwen gently nudges her.
Their conversation is cut short when they see Heather walking back towards them.
“Already?”
“Told you I’m a fast shopper.” she boasts. “Also, I got you something,” she extends her arm out to Courtney holding a bag in her hand.
Her and Gwen briefly exchange looks before she takes it, pulling out what’s inside. Her eyes fill with surprise when she sees a box of perfume.
“Are you serious?”
“I got a different scent than you if that’s what you’re concerned about.” Heather informs her. “Think of it as a thank you for agreeing to study together. Most of the time anyway.”
Courtney reads the box and Gwen follows suit. It’s lavender scented.
The goth scrunches her face, both at the gift and sudden nice gesture from Heather. “Huh?”
“Thank you…” Courtney’s tone is genuine. “This is… actually really nice of you.”
“Guess I’m not as bad as you thought?” Heather leans toward her.
“Andddd moment ruined.” Courtney rolls her eyes playfully as she begins to walk away from her.
“I was kidding!”
The girls continue their mall trip with a surprisingly tame atmosphere. Courtney receives a call from her mother at one point leaving Gwen and Heather to walk next to each other behind her.
Courtney’s preoccupied long enough for the two of them to interact.
Heather eyes Gwen from the side and sees her looking straight ahead at Courtney. Her brows are furrowed and her expression is serious, as if she were thinking hard.
It’s too good to pass up.
“Something the matter, Gwen?” Heather asks with a satirical tone in her voice.
“No…” Gwen rolls her eyes with a huff hoping to forget about it, but her curiosity is burning. “Actually yes, what was that back there? With the perfume? You never give stuff to other people, let alone Courtney.”
“Please, can’t a girl just do something nice for a friend?” She shrugs with aloofness.
“She hates you!”
“Does she?” Heather probes. “That’s a bit harsh. If that’s the case, how come she’s grown so tolerable of me?”
Gwen rolls her eyes. “Nevermind, I guess you have a point. Still though, giving gifts out of ‘kindness’ isn’t exactly your style.”
“Upset that I thought of it and you didn’t?”
“What are you even talking about?”
“Hello? Last week at the restaurant table with Courtney? I saw the looks you gave her and it’s written all over your face now. You’re jealous. It’s… kind of pathetic but cute, really.”
“Alright, enough.” Gwen puts her foot down. “I don’t know what you wanted to achieve back there, but I do know that she and I are friends, and I plan on keeping it that way.”
Heather hums at the response. “Good luck with that.” She notices the growing scowl on Gwen’s face and smiles. “And for the record, I already got what I wanted.”
“Are we actually going to shop now?” Courtney asks after moments of silence. “My mom’s a little peeved that I’m out for the day and not at home, but I swear I’m going to lose it if I have to spend another moment in my room with a book on LSATs.”
“Alright, relax,” Heather tells her. “No one’s cracking on my watch.”
The three of them spend the rest of the afternoon hitting up the various stores within the mall. The afternoon goes by and to everyone’s surprise, they enjoy each other’s company. Towards the end of the day they walk out of the last store, each of them with at least one sizable shopping bag.
Heather eyes the other two’s haul. “Huh, not bad, I didn’t even think you’d find a whole bag’s worth of stuff that you’d like, Gwen.”
“What? I just hate the frilly pink stuff, but I gotta get my dark goth girl clothes from somewhere,” she sarcastically quips.
“We barely got the chance to try stuff on… soooo… anyone wanna volunteer to use their room as a dressing room?” Heather inquires, not fully sure of the reaction she was going to receive from the comment.
“You’re saying you want to come over?” Gwen asks.
“As if, that’s completely out of the question for me,” Courtney declines. “My mom would kill me if I dropped by with friends unannounced.”
She realizes what she just said.
“Oh, fuck.”
“So you DO consider me–” Heather starts.
“Say anything else and I’ll never agree to study with you again,” Courtney playfully hits her with her bag.
Gwen can’t help but snort at the interaction before she starts thinking out loud. “I don’t think my mom would mind… actually, she’s out of town till tomorrow, so it’s not like she’ll be there the whole time.”
“So let’s move it before the sun goes down!” Heather takes hold of their arms and begins pulling them along. I don’t want a late night encounter with some weirdo on the TTC.”
–
The jingle of keys can be heard on the outside of the door before it’s pushed open. Gwen walks in first followed by Courtney and Heather. The goth looks around and turns on the hall light.
“Rodney?”
She calls out for her brother but no response. She peers into the living room where he’d normally be on a Sunday night playing video games. She ponders for a second longer on his whereabouts before she remembers, “Oh yeah, he said he’d be at his friends place by the time I came back, and I think he’s staying overnight too. Guess we have the house to ourselves.”
Gwen makes her way upstairs while Courtney and Heather continue to follow behind. She steers around the corner to her room and a sigh escapes her. “Don’t touch anything, no comments, just sit somewhere.” She says as she flips on the light.
Her room is filled with various posters from different artists, from Nirvana, Paramore, Queen, Rammstein (the imagery of which initially took Courtney by surprise), Joan Jett and Avril Lavigne to name a few.
Gwen spots her sketchbook still lying open on her desk from across the room and runs over to quickly gather the scattered papers before shutting the book and shoving it under her bed.
There’s artwork hanging on the walls as well; some done with markers and some just sketches, and most were pieces of paper taped to the wall in front of her desk.
“These are really amazing, Gwen.” Courtney tells her, her eyes not daring to glance away.
“Really?” She’s surprised but corrects herself. “I mean, thanks. It’s not much, but that’s just what I do in my free time when I’m not making something for school. There’s more where that came from.”
“Honestly?” Heather starts. “I thought your room would be more… creepy and cave-like. I mean, I certainly wouldn’t be caught with any of this stuff in my own room, but it suits you fine.”
Gwen laughs at that. “Well, but it was closer to something like that a few years back.” She recalls the stuffed animal she hung by a rope in her earlier teen years before shaking her head. “Anyways, get comfortable.”
The girls begin trying on their outfits from the mall and take turns getting ready in Gwen’s bathroom before they all regroup in front of the standing mirror. Heather’s wearing brown checkered shorts accompanied with a thin beige belt and a burgundy t-shirt. Courtney sports a simpler outfit; an olive green corduroy skirt with a white knit textured crop top, while Gwen wears a black cropped tank and black high waisted baggy jeans with a chain as an add on.
They all stare at their reflections for a few moments.
“Well I’m definitely keeping mine,” Heather states. “Don’t know about you two, but this is perfect.”
“Ditto,” Courtney adds.
“Oh hey, I forgot the thing that’ll tie mine all together,” Gwen says before she bends down to rummage through her shopping bag. She pulls out a blue jean jacket and hastily throws it on herself. “What do you think?” She holds her arms outstretched with a grin, eyes lit up.
“I think you might as well have bought a motorcycle with that jacket.” Heather tells her with a raised brow.
“But it’s cool, right? Plus I can add patches on the sleeves and really make it my own.”
“Whatever makes you happy.” Heather shrugs, not really caring either way.
“Well I think it suits you,” Courtney tells her with a smile.
Heather rolls her eyes. “ Any ways, I call changing first. No way am I going to lounge in an outfit this freshly bought just yet.”
She walks to the bathroom and closes the door.
Gwen poses in the mirror with the jacket for a moment longer. Courtney smiles at the action and walks towards her. Her hands rest on Gwen’s shoulders before she begins to move her fingers down the arm of the jacket to examine it, which immediately distracts the goth. She tries to contain a shiver from the unexpected contact.
“You know, if you ever wanted something embroidered on it, send it my way. I know how to pull off a mean satin stitch.”
“Really?! You’d do that?” Gwen asks, her eyes practically filled with stars.
“Of course! Plus, it’d be good for me to continue practicing. I haven’t had the chance to try on anything other than random pieces of fabric.”
“Well I'd love it if you did,” Gwen smiles while taking off the jacket and looks at the empty sea of blue denim. “It'd be so much cooler that way.”
The bathroom door opens, interrupting the conversation. Heather walks out.
Courtney turns her head and grabs the clothing she wore previously. “Just let me know what you want once you figure it out!” she says before disappearing into the bathroom.
Gwen beams at her before folding up the jacket and placing it on her chair.
–
The sky grows darker as time passes and the girls had decided on sleeping over. Gwen offered them more comfortable clothing to sleep in and while Heather declined, Courtney accepted and was now wearing one of Gwen’s band shirts. Her bed was big enough to have all three of them sit in a circle, and they spent a good majority of the evening just chatting.
“So why’s Geoff holding this party again?” Gwen asks before grabbing a piece of popcorn the three of them were sharing.
“Who knows, the guy’s still the same party animal as ever,” Heather remarks.
“I’m still surprised at the fact he’s been reaching out to us for this.” Courtney comments. “Is everyone else even coming?”
“Oh yeah, pretty sure everyone’s going to be there.” Heather continues. “Leshawna, Harold, Tyler, Lindsay, Beth, Noah, DJ, Dunc–” She stops herself, but it was too late to take it back.
“Duncan? Actually?” Gwen asks. “Isn’t he supposed to be in jail?”
“Cody heard from Owen who heard from Geoff that his dad bailed him out. Not sure of the rest of the story though.”
“How nice,” Courtney says with sarcasm.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to bail now?” Heather asks. “Besides, you two shouldn’t worry about him anyways. You know Duncan’s never been the social butterfly type, he’ll probably just stand in a corner by himself trying to look cool the whole time.”
“Hah, yeah,” Gwen tries to brush it off, mostly in an attempt to take Courtney’s mind off of it. “Honestly, I’m just curious to see everyone else. So much can change in just a few years.”
“Speaking of much changing," Heather started. "what's up with you? I mean, you still look as angst-ridden as ever, but you’ve obviously found yourself at…”
“…OCAD?”
“Yeah, but what’s it like? Is it full of a bunch of try-hard art nerds?”
“Oh, for sure, but it’s mostly the first years that–” Gwen stops herself. “What exactly are you getting at?”
“Oh, nothing, I’m just wondering if you’ve found yourself like… I dunno, into any of those losers.”
Gwen scoffs and gives her a look. “Really? I didn’t sign up for art school just to mingle around.”
“Right, right, my bad,” Heather puts her hand in the bowl for a piece of popcorn as a smile crosses her face. “I almost forgot you have your sights set on–”
Another piece of popcorn hits Heather on her head before she can finish her sentence.
“Hey!”
“Nice aim,” Courtney says to Gwen.
“Okay okay, I get it, but you owe me for that.” Heather picks up the kernel and puts it in her mouth.
“Do I? What do you have in mind?” Gwen puts her hands on her hips.
“Got anything else for snacks?”
“Oh sure, raid my secret stash,” the goth jests. “I always keep bags of fruit snacks in the back of the kitchen cupboard, but you’re on your own in finding it”
“Why?”
“I’m afraid I’m just too comfortable,” Gwen puts her arms behind her head and lays down.
“You’re too much, y’know that?” Heather slides off the bed and leaves the room. Gwen watches her leave before sitting back up once Heather is out of sight. She turns to Courtney, bringing her knees to her chest.
“She’ll be a few. But I have to say, you pull off band shirts pretty well.”
“Thanks,” Courtney gives her a soft smile.
“You okay? Sorry Heather had to mention you know who.”
“It’s fine, I still want to go with you to the party. You’re right, it probably will be nice to see everyone else.”
Gwen’s heart skips a beat and suddenly her mouth is moving before her mind has the chance to keep up. “You know, I wanted to say this a little earlier, but I’m really happy I’ve been seeing you again these last few weeks. Took us long enough to do so outside of a crappy summer camp.”
“And you didn’t say it earlier because?” Courtney smiles while folding her arms.
“Heather.”
The girl giggles at that and it’s the sweetest sound Gwen has ever heard. “Okay, fair. I mean, I doubt she’d care, but I guess three really is a crowd.”
Now it’s Gwen laughing. She turns to Courtney, legs folded underneath her. “This is exactly what I missed most.”
“And what exactly is that?” Courtney pries.
“Just…” Gwen motions with her hands. “all of this. You. Being with you like this. It just feels so… freeing?” The laughter bubbling in her chest begins to simmer. “I don’t think I realized just how much I did until…”
She trails off. The memories of Wawanakwa briefly cross her mind. She’s looking at the ground and Courtney swears she feels a thumb caress her hand. Suddenly, her heart is racing a hundred miles an hour and the feeling slowly makes its way to her head.
Gwen tries to speak. “I’m sorry–”
Before she knows it Courtney moves in swiftly, angling Gwen’s chin towards her and presses her lips against her own. The sensation catches Gwen off guard but she almost instantly gives into it and begins kissing the girl back.
Courtney was right, Gwen was already holding her hand just prior. She feels Gwen release her hand and moves her arms to circle her waist for a brief moment before travelling up her back. Her fingers are gentle, and Courtney almost can’t take the amount of physical stimulation without craving more of it. She moves her own hands to cup the goth’s face in response, guiding her closer. As she does this, she caresses Gwen’s cheek with her thumb, not daring to break away from her.
All Gwen can think about is how soft Courtney’s lips are and how good they taste and how she never wants the moment to end. She smells the lingering scent of lavender on her as if it were filling up her throat and lungs, making her unable to breathe or even think coherently. She’s kissing a girl, they’re touching each other, they’re so close, so she should absolutely be a goner by now. But somehow, she’s still here, hopelessly yearning for more.
That hope however, is thrown immediately out the window when the sound of footsteps coming from the hallway begins to grow more prominent. The two of them hear this and they break away from each other, assuming their original positions on the bed before Heather walks through the door.
“You do realize you have, like, six different cupboards in the kitchen, right?” Heather says to Gwen, holding the bags of snacks. “I had to find a stool just to reach these and I’m already at a decent height.” She stops when she sees them, sensing the shift in energy. “Did something happen?”
“No, sorry…” Gwen’s voice is slightly husky. She rubs her eye and catches a glimpse of Courtney sitting next to her. Her knees are close to her chest and her arms are folded, but she’s looking in the opposite direction. Gwen aches to say something, anything to her, but no words manage to come up.
She exhales through her nose before taking the snacks from Heather. “You guys wanna watch a movie?”
Gwen insists Courtney and Heather stay in her bed for the night while Gwen piles her own blankets to sleep on the floor. They end up watching Clueless, something they’ve all seen but it manages to keep their focus for long enough. The movie puts them to sleep relatively quickly, but Gwen couldn’t resist occasionally checking on Courtney through the reflection of the mirror throughout the duration.
–
Gwen stirs in her sleep, she could’ve sworn she heard the sound of a door closing. She opens her eyes. She’s a bit sore but she'd rather it be herself than her guests. It’s quiet; the sun is only just starting to peer into her room. She slowly stands up to check on the others. Heather’s still asleep wrapped burrito-style in Gwen’s duvet, but next to her is an empty space where Courtney should’ve been.
Her heart drops, recalling the events from the previous night. She checks in her bathroom to no avail before silently making her way downstairs. There isn’t anyone on the main floor either. Gwen walks towards the front door, which was unlocked. The sound of the door closing wasn’t just something she made up. She locks it before returning back to her room.
She walks in to find Heather awake from the slight commotion.
“It’s still so early,” she says mid-yawn. “Where’s Courtney?”
“She left already,” Gwen says flatly. Her eyes dart around her room. Courtney’s shopping bags and purse, everything she had with her yesterday was gone as if she was never with them in the first place.
“What? Weird… well, I guess it is a school day, but she didn’t say anything to you?”
“No,” Gwen tells her. Just then, she feels her phone vibrate and swiftly pulls it out to see a text message from Courtney:
Sorry for leaving, I have a morning class at campus. Thanks for hosting last night
Gwen ponders the message and rereads it a few times. Heather gets out of bed and looks to see Gwen’s phone screen, already able to tell it was Courtney who texted.
“Oh yeah, she wasn’t lying about that,” Heather points out. “I memorized her schedule, but I forgot it’s Monday… still, should’ve said something to us before leaving.”
Gwen sits on her bed without acknowledging what Heather said, her eyes glued to her phone screen rereading the text to herself.
“So,” Heather starts again. “Obviously it’s not my business, but–”
“Nothing happened.”
“Stop lying, Gwen. The change in energy was so tense I could see it written all over your faces. Did she find out your deep dark secret?”
“No!” Gwen raised her voice. “Besides, it doesn't matter, I can’t tell you anyways. It wouldn’t be fair to Courtney. She’s probably embarrassed enough as it is. I know that’s one of the reasons she left, anyway.”
Heather blinks, trying to piece it all together. There’s a crucial piece to the puzzle that Gwen isn’t letting her in on, but there’s no way she’s going to let up now.
“You should probably get going too,” Gwen continues. “I want to clean up before everyone else gets home.”
“Tell you what, I’ll make sure your gal pal’s okay and I’ll text you about it. I’ll be able to ask her once she comes out from her class later.”
“Really?” Gwen asks trying not to get her hopes up. “Okay… sure, but just don’t forget–”
“Relaaaax Gwennie, as if I’d forget about something as important as this.”
“Don’t call me that.”