Chapter Text
Wooyoung was certain he was dead. Or about to die.
He wasn't sure, but he might be the first reported case of death by hangover.
He let out a long, moaning groan and curled up into a ball under the covers, catching a glimpse of sunlight between his eyelids. His stomach tightened and he grunted again, burying his face in the pillow, feeling like his head would explode.
He wanted to remember the previous night, but his head ached even more as he tried to remember something else after a sort of competition between Jongho and himself to see who could sing the highest note; he had obviously lost more than once, as he could no longer remember absolutely nothing.
His physiological needs became more insistent, so with a long sigh he stood up, a little dizzy, was he still drunk? A quick glance at his cell phone told him it was almost noon. He didn't know how long it took for the alcohol to synthesize in his body, but it had been too long since he had drunk the amount he had the night before.
After going to the bathroom and praying to the heavens that he wouldn't vomit, not knowing why he was feeling an intense burning in his throat and not sure his esophagus could take any more regurgitated burning acid, he went out into the living room where the soft sound of the TV was playing.
He found Yeosang comfortably sprawled on Jongho's lap, snoring softly, the younger one stroking his hair with one hand and eating handfuls of popcorn with the other while watching a Marvel movie on TV.
“He's still alive!” Jongho whispered, making a sarcastic face of surprise.
“I feel dead,” Wooyoung said in an incredibly hoarse voice, surprising himself.
“I guess that's normal after drinking like you did yesterday,” Jongho said, turning his eyes back to the movie.
“What happened yesterday?” Wooyoung asked, clearing his throat in vain and going to the kitchen for a glass of water. “My memory ends around...eleven? I don't know.”
“Well…” Jongho sighed dramatically, “I wasn't here with you for quite a while because Seonghwa Hyung took Yeosang's keys, but from what Yeo told me, you had quite a... funny adventure,” he pursed his lips, “with San? Is that your neighbor's name?”
Wooyoung spat out some of the water he had just drunk.
“What?! What do you mean, with San?” He shouted, earning an expletive from the younger when Yeosang woke up.
“I don't know!” He replied in what was supposed to be a soft shout, but Yeosang had already sat up from his lap and rubbed his puffy eyes. “I came in and you guys were up there, Yeosang was cleaning the bathroom and you were bawling things out on the couch, with a trash can in your arms.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, fuck” Yeosang said, giving Wooyoung a murderous look. “I have no problem with you embarrassing yourself, but I don't like it at all when you involve me in your business.”
“What happened?” Wooyoung asked, feeling a strange sensation in his stomach and having a brief memory of San carrying him up the stairs on his back.
“You suddenly had to pee when we had no keys, luckily San came by and kindly accepted you to use his bathroom, you said a bunch of stupid things and ended up puking in there, but you missed the shot and puked first in the sink, on the floor and finally in the toilet bowl.” Yeosang explained, still scowling at him, “Ah, but first you made me unbutton your pants, what the fuck? You owe me big time, Jung Wooyoung. Very, very, very, very big.”
Wooyoung looked at Yeosang in horror for a few minutes, not knowing exactly what to say, his brain making the valiant attempt to remember what had happened.
He remembered his urgency to pee, how he had felt like a princess in distress when San had carried him up the stairs; he vaguely remembered the interior of San's apartment, sleek and elegant like his neighbor; yes, he had also struggled with his pants because his fingers wouldn’t cooperate and he had had to ask Yeosang for help in the least ideal and polite way.
He remembered how he had blithely babbled something about inviting him to watch Harry Potter, and then, as if it were some kind of horror movie, the following scenes slowly began to unfold in his brain. He remembered how the little drops of water that touched his lips made his stomach churn, usually Wooyoung was too good at containing his vomit, but for some reason (obviously because of the alcohol) that control had gone out the window, causing him to throw his stomach contents back into the sink; He could see how his brain seemed to place special emphasis on the path he had left from the sink to the bowl, then how Yeosang had sat him on the couch with a small trash can between his hands while Wooyoung whined that he was a disappointment to himself and everyone else, that everything he did always ended wrong and that he had probably made San angry. At the time, Wooyoung might have thought that he had said everything too clearly, but more likely it was just meaningless babbling.
“Oh...no…” Wooyoung muttered slowly, covering his face with his hands and feeling his stomach churn again, perhaps not so much to do with the astronomical amounts of alcohol he had consumed the night before. “Fucking hell.”
“Yup, again, fucking hell,” Yeosang said, sitting up a little more in Jongho's arms, his brow furrowed, “I don't want to act like your mother or anything, but it goes without saying that San at least deserves an apology, and since you're going to put on your big boy pants why don't you just tell him how you feel about him once and for all?”
“Yeosang is right, Hyung,” Jongho interjected helpfully with a shrug. “I think you would have saved yourself too much embarrassment and suffering if you had decided to just say it, you've always been too open and direct, so, why not with San? Just tell him that you find him excessively handsome and that you want him to make you scream until dawn,” Jongho shuddered a little as he remembered the words the other one had said to him the night before, “just please, not when I'm present, I don't want to be left with the trauma, thank you very much.”
“Yeah, I guess you're right…” Wooyoung agreed and nodded his head slightly, completely determined to clear all his feelings and expectations with San, although he obviously had to apologize first and feel less hungover and not feel like puking his guts out in front of him again.
****
After a lot of water, some ibuprofen and a shower, his headache and nausea hadn't subsided much, but he had to put his plan into action, he didn't want too much time to pass without apologizing to San, and his plan included cooking him some kimchi jjigae, his mother had always taught him that the best way to apologize to someone was through a sweet act or service, and since Wooyoung was exceptionally good at cooking and needed an excuse to talk to San, it seemed like a good idea.
The bad news was that his cupboard and fridge were almost empty, since it was the weekend and they still hadn't gone out to restock, so with a heavy sigh and no urge to leave the house, he grabbed his car keys while Jongho and Yeosang watched what must have been their fourth movie of the day in the living room, he couldn't deny that he really wanted to do the same, even lie down next to his best friend, but he knew that Yeosang wouldn't be in the best mood with him at that time, so it was better to avoid it and just go grocery shopping and bring everything that was needed, somehow he also had to apologize to Yeosang.
****
Wooyoung was one of those rare adults, who found some pleasure and relaxation in wandering the aisles of the supermarket, there was something about it that made it one of his favorite activities, and he rightly missed when the stores were open 24 hours a day, because in in his opinion there was nothing better than walking through those empty aisles, looking at the merchandise and having enough time to clear his mind.
Maybe the supermarket at seven o’clock in the evening on a Saturday wasn't the best in terms of silence, but he still had time to practice what he was going to say to San and how he was going to explain that he felt an intense physical attraction that he wished would turn into something more and that he would get to know him better to see if feelings more romantic than physical would develop.
Even the crowded aisles full of people and families helped his headache a little, so when he came back from the supermarket, he was feeling quite a bit better, in high spirits even, humming his favorite song as he carried down all the bags in one go, okay he was one of those crazy people who liked to physically go grocery shopping, but not the ones who made more than one trip to get all the grocery bags in.
Strangely, he was quite far from the entrance of his apartment when he began to hear muffled voices, as if someone were arguing, encouraged by the suggestion that his neighbors were arguing as they used to do every few weeks, he quickened his pace to get closer to the building, and got a big surprise when he managed to catch a few words in his native language.
“.... but I didn't think it was like this!” someone shouted.
“Wait, no, it's just that…” a voice that sounded a lot like Jongho's tried to say.
“Just last night I was thinking that you were quite a nice person and that Wooyoung was very lucky to have you by his side!” Wait... what?
“But it's not like that!” that was Yeosang's voice, definitely, and Wooyoung quickened his pace a little more.
“No! I can see that already!”
The walk took forever for Wooyoung, but he finally turned around the hallway, stumbled upon a rather strange scene where San, Yeosang and Jongho were standing outside the apartment, San's face was completely reddened, his face was scrunched up in a grimace that was definitely one of anger and disgust, Yeosang looked panicked and waved his hands frantically, Jongho beside him tried to calm San who kept shouting something like "sneaking around! Behind his back! That’s worse!”
“What the fuck is going on?” Wooyoung whispered, trying to analyze the situation, but not understanding.
“Hyung, can you...!”
“And he’s your Hyung? Didn’t you learn to respect, you ungrateful bastard? Damn it!” San grumbled, throwing his arms in the air and rolling his eyes.
“Please, let's all calm down, okay? Please,” Yeosang said, doing his best to sound firm, but Wooyoung knew it was taking too much effort as his friend wasn't the best at conflict. “Obviously there's a lot of misinformation here.”
“But what the hell is going on?” Wooyoung insisted, he could hear a door open and close behind him, so he assumed it was Mrs. Jones trying to figure out what was going on, or another nosy neighbor trying to see what was all that ruckus.
“Can we talk in the apartment?” Yeosang said, noticing the door as well. “San, I promise you that everything will be explained to you, just... please, not out here.”
“Sure... as if kissing someone else who isn't your boyfriend in public wasn’t enough, God, please, let's avoid the embarrassment of doing something rude and immoral.” San mumbled through his teeth, however he folded his arms and walked in after Yeosang and Jongho with a noticeable pout on his lips, Wooyoung following behind him, still quite confused as to what the fuck was going on.
“Okay, okay, okay, what the fuck? You? Kissing someone else?” Wooyoung asked immediately, turning to see Yeosang and dropping the bags everywhere, a few tomatoes and a potato rolled out of the bag, but Wooyoung didn't care.
“Do you know who he is?” San asked, pointing an aggressive finger at Jongho, who could only raise his arms in defense.
“Yes,” Wooyoung said, alternating his gaze between Yeosang and San, the latter still glaring at Jongho, “He's Yeosang's boyfriend.”
“Wh-what?” San stumbled, suddenly turning pale.
“Jongho was just leaving, we were...you know... saying goodbye… right on the threshold,” Yeosang's ears turned red, Wooyoung knew immediately what kind of goodbye, for although his friend was quite demure about public displays of affection, he sometimes got carried away, “and San showed up at the door…”
“And he started screaming like a madman…” Jongho chimed in, quietly.
“I brought you some soup for your hangover,” San said, waving a small bag with a take-out container in his hand, his voice much, much quieter, a blush spreading across his face but not just there, but spreading to his ears and neck, “I thought…” he cleared his throat, “Aren’t you and Yeosang dating?” he turned to Wooyoung.
There was a long heavy silence in which no one did anything but blink and look at each other, Wooyoung's gears slowly began to move, he began to piece together the other's actions, some words he remembered hearing him say regarding Yeosang, as well as remembering all the times he had interacted with Yeosang in front of San, could be misunderstood.
Apparently, the whole discussion had been generated because San had "discovered" Yeosang and Jongho kissing passionately at the entrance, so she had immediately concluded that Yeosang was being unfaithful to Wooyoung... with his own boyfriend.
The situation struck him as ridiculous for a moment, both the fact that Wooyoung and Yeosang were anything more than friends, and the fact that Yeosang could be remotely unfaithful, to him, or Jongho, or whoever.
Wooyoung burst out laughing.
And not just any laugh or the "decent" version he had learned to control, no, he let out his natural laugh, loud and high-pitched, even shrill. San looked at him as if he had grown another head.
“Let me introduce myself, I'm Choi Jongho, Yeosang's boyfriend of about three years, and, believe it or not, we don't usually put on that show for the masses, it was just a rare occasion,” Jongho rolled his eyes and introduced himself, trying to make his voice sound louder than Wooyoung's laughter, but there was no sound in the world that could surpass it.
“This is what I’ve been trying to to explain to you from the beginning, even yesterday when you mentioned something about Wooyoung being very lucky to have me by his side,” Yeosang said, shooting a murderous look at Wooyoung, who noticed and covered his face with his hands, doing his best to calm down. “Wooyoung is my best friend since high school, that's why we live together.”
“I…” San stammered, he didn't seem to know where to hide himself and you could fry an egg in his face.
“Like why would I flirt with you if I was in a relationship with Yeosang?” Wooyoung finally managed to say, wiping away the tears that had rolled down his cheeks.
“You flirted with me?” San said, his rather slit eyes widening enormously.
“I have to say they were rather clumsy attempts, I'm usually better at seducing people, but I had to know first if you were interested in men before I made my blunt move,” Wooyoung explained, suddenly becoming very self-conscious, this was part of the conversation he had planned to have with San, but in private, not with his two friends who wanted to blend in with the wall. “I found out you might like men when I saw your bellybutton piercing, but my pants decided to give me a very hard time and my mind forgot every other attempt to ask you out.”
“ You …were flirting with… me .” San said again, it seemed impossible for him to get any redder, but he looked like he was about to blow smoke out of his ears.
“I mean...yeah?” Is it that...is it that bad?” Wooyoung asked, frowning slightly.
“I…” San opened and closed his mouth a few times, like a fish out of water. “I have to go, I'm sorry for everything.”
And without waiting for an answer, he hurried out the door.
“What the fuck?” Wooyoung could only say with a very strange feeling lodged in his stomach.
****
The next few weeks couldn't have been more different from last. For a long time, Wooyoung had not felt so unmotivated to leave his apartment, he still went to teach his classes because he knew that Yunho wouldn't let him live if he neglected his work, but as soon as the classes were over he would return to his apartment, according to Yeosang, to sink into his misery.
Certainly, the way things had happened and ended was not what he had imagined. He had also been a fool to think that San would react positively to his actions, and even his words. Maybe it had been a great demonstration of his overly high self-esteem, even a bit selfish. Why had he believed that San was interested in him as well?
Still, his reaction had not been the best, Wooyoung had only had a brief moment where he thought San was "defending" him from Yeosang's supposed infidelity, only to then appear impassive and dumbfounded when he learned that Wooyoung had been trying to flirt with him all along. What kind of smug asshole did he think he was to act so nonchalant? Or was Wooyoung the asshole for believing and misinterpreting the signals?
Yes, that was definitely it. How had he come to believe that San's actions were because he was interested in him and not just a simple friendship when he had always believed that Wooyoung was going out with Yeosang?
And it had become all too clear to him when he saw San at the entrance of their building a few days after returning from his classes, and after San saw Wooyoung, the other one quickly turned around and hurried up the stairs, ignoring him completely or even avoiding him altogether.
It had become more than clear to him that San was not the least bit interested.
The thought crossed Wooyoung's mind once again and he couldn't help but pout, dipping the spoon into the ice cream tub in his lap, yes, he knew it was something cliché and stupid but there was something about eating ice cream non-stop that comforted him.
“We’re going out, do you want to come?” Jongho asked him as he came out of Yeosang's room.
“Nah,” Wooyoung replied waving his hand, “besides, I'm sure Yeosang doesn't want my sad ass next to him for a while.”
“Well, yeah, I don't want you around after all you put me through, but I still love you as a friend and I don't want to see you down like this, especially for a man, you always told me that being sad because of them is the worst way to waste your tears.”
“And that's why I'm going to waste them watching A Dog’s Purpose” Wooyoung interrupted him, taking the TV remote. “Wait... Did you just say that you love me? Awww... Yeosangie…”
“Don't even think you'll hear it again, at least not for a long time.” Yeosang sighed, and headed for the exit with Jongho. “Well, stay and eat your weight in ice cream, I really hope that makes you feel better.”
And after that the couple left the apartment, leaving Wooyoung curled up on the couch, alone with the TV light illuminating the room and eating ice cream as if it would ease the pain and emptiness in his chest.
The movie continued, and just as Wooyoung had expected, he began to cry, perhaps because of the emotional movie, perhaps because he had finally let the emotions and feelings of the previous events spill out of his being.
There was a moment when his ice cream tub ran out, and since he still felt like drowining himself in junk food, so he ordered Mcdonald's via Doordash and waited patiently, concentrating on the movie instead of his cell phone; it felt a little strange when the doorbell rang no less than ten minutes later.
Not bothering to wipe the tears from his eyes and cheeks, as he just wanted to get his food, he went and opened the door without a care in the world, he was really grateful for contactless delivery.
But, instead of a bag with his cheeseburger, fries, chicken nuggets, large coke and an Oreo McFlurry, instead of all that Choi San was standing in front of his door and with a cup of something in his hand.
Wooyoung was stunned, even with his mouth open stupidly.
“San,” Wooyoung managed to say, trying to collect himself and look unconcerned, “what are you doing here?”
“I was going to make dinner, but I found out that I don't have any gochujang, so... I already have everything on the stove... and you're the only person I know who might have gochujang around here, I really don't want to drive 30 minutes to the nearest store, because it looks like it's going to rain, so I thought it would be the easiest thing to come with you.” San said quickly, looking too closely at a spot on the lintel of the door, without meeting Wooyoung's eyes.
“Oh…” Wooyoung managed to say, wiping the tears from his face with a little more force than necessary, “I mean... yeah, sure, would you like to come in?”
“I don’t want to bother you,” San said too kindly.
“No, no, not at all,” Wooyoung replied, just as kindly, and opened the door a little wider to let him in.
Wooyoung turned around, feeling the other's strong presence behind him, trying not to pay attention to him as he searched the fridge for the huge container of gochujang.
“I... ah... you came just in time, I went shopping recently,” Wooyoung tried to make small talk to break the tense silence.
“And... you... your... friend?” San asked in turn, still looking everywhere but at Wooyoung.
“He and Jongho went out, I honestly don't remember if they told me where they went.” Wooyoung answered.
“Oh…” San just replied and both of them were silent once again, Wooyoung put a good portion of the paste into a tupperware, and looked sideways at the cup San brought in his hands, what was the cup for if he wasn't going to offer it when he poured the gochujang into the tupperware?
“Look, I really…”
“To be honest I...”
They both spoke at the same time, and, realizing the coincidence, they both blushed, also almost at the same time, Wooyoung felt that the only difference was that San blushed prettily, while he looked like a sunstroked tomato.
“Sorry, I... you go ahead,” Wooyoung said, putting the spoon he had used to serve the paste with in the sink and praying to the heavens that San wouldn't notice the slight trembling in his fingers.
“I really don't know where to start,” San sighed after a moment of silence, taking a deep breath. “I think I should... apologize first? Yes, apologize.”
“But what are you apologizing for?” Wooyoung asked as San paused after his words.
“For acting like a total asshole,” San said, looking down again, “I shouldn't have assumed things.” He sighed again and then pointed to the two high stools at the kitchen island, “Would you like to sit down? Please, I would be more comfortable that way... or at least I think so.”
Wooyoung said nothing, just frowned and took a seat on the bench next to the wall, immediately regretting his decision, because between the wall behind him and San's strong presence in front of him, he felt somewhat suffocated.
“I don't know what you imagine about me, my personality, or what impression I make. Believe me, I've been told that many times and it has affected me more than once,” San continued after nibbling his lower lip, “but the truth is that I'm an introvert who struggles too much to meet new people, like all introverts, I guess. I assumed your relationship immediately when Mrs. Jones mentioned something about ‘your boyfriend’, it didn't occur to me to ask, besides, one day I saw you from the balcony, you came from I don't know where, and you looked too... close, I mean, you were twerking in front of him and you both were laughing and hugging, and I guess that was enough for my mind to confirm that yes, indeed you were boyfriends, because no male friends can hug and kiss on the cheek just like that.”
Wooyoung frowned a little at the memory of San, after a bit of effort he remembered one Saturday afternoon when he and Yeosang came back from shopping and had ice cream, apparently Wooyoung had had a bout of hyperactivity due to the immense amount of chocolate in his milkshake, and had teased Yeosang, in effect, dancing in the street and showering him with hugs and cuddles. San was right, especially among Koreans, it wasn't common to be so affectionate, but Wooyoung had always been like that, he loved to reach out and hug people, especially Yeosang who always ran away from him like the plague.
Oh boy.
“I never found our encounters strange, I just thought that being Korean myself, you wanted to make friends and that you were just unlucky in life…”
“You don't say,” Wooyoung sighed, pouting slightly.
“And I couldn't act any different with you, because I'm not good at just starting a conversation,” San said, sounding even a little desperate, “to talk to you about this I had to practice it all night, this morning and make the stupid excuse that I needed gochujang.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. For some strange reason, Wooyoung's heart had begun to pound too hard in his chest, his brain trying to calm him down, to keep him from jumping to conclusions again. “When I moved here I wanted to be different... I guess you know it's not easy to be part of the LGBT community in Asian countries, so I thought that the shy, reserved and conservative San would stay in Korea, that Choi San who couldn't just go up to cute boys, who never managed to understand when they were flirting with him or when they were just being friendly. I thought that luck was on my side when I saw a rather cute Asian boy standing on his balcony, looking at the horizon with the brightest and most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, it was quite cute when he was startled by a bird… but that just made me even more interested.” San had stood up at some point and looked at Wooyoung with an intense look that made his legs feel like they had turned to jelly.
“S-San…” Wooyoung stammered.
“I was very disappointed to learn that he had a partner…” San took a step towards him and Wooyoung could only make himself small in his seat, feeling very hot and trying to look away from San, but, his aura had changed again and again, the other's presence was like a magnet. “I defended him tooth and nail when I realized that they were being unfaithful to him, that someone wanted to hurt his heart, because, even though I hadn’t exchanged more than a few words, I already knew that this person deserved to have his partner give him everything, that everyone had to give them everything…”
“San... I…”
“I feel incredibly stupid when I realize that I had jumped to conclusions before actually hearing or having a conversation with that bright-eyed boy with a nose carved by the gods themselves” San softened his gaze a bit, and that was the moment when Wooyoung was able to look away, but San grabbed his chin with gentle fingers and forced him to raise his face, "However, I also felt so relieved that the person who had haunted my mind the most during these months was single, and even more so when he told me that he had tried to flirt with me.... I was so happy to have his attraction.”
“Well, it's just that... it's very hard not to when you look... the way you look…” Wooyoung stammered, wanting to bite his tongue out of inappropriateness, but, San burst out laughing.
“You know what? I think all my confusion and embarrassment would have been saved if I had just... asked the right words…” San's voice had dropped a few octaves, Wooyoung's heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he could even hear it in his ears. “So, now, with all confidence and certainty and without forcing anything on you... Jung Wooyoung, would you let me ask you out on a date? I really want to get to know you better.”
Wooyoung could feel his eyes begin to fill with tears, feeling just a hint of embarrassment, what kind of grown man would cry at being asked out on a date? Well, the man who hadn't been asked out on a date so politely in a long time, especially when it was a man as attractive and sweet as Choi San was.
“Of course I do, I would love to. I saw you arrive that morning, and for some reason I thought you were the man of my dreams, so I'd really like to get to know my sexy new neighbor better.”