Chapter Text
“What are you doing?” Alex’s nose scrunched in slight disgust as the smell of something burning envelops the house.
“Trying to save my brioche. I promised Lily from the shelter I’d have some for her this week.” Henry’s lightly freckled face is dusted in flour, making his ocean blue eyes just a bit brighter.
Alex comes to stand beside Henry promptly wrapping a hand around his waist and drawing him into his warmth. They both stood there staring at the stove top as if they were trying to make sense of the black lump that was currently sitting there. “I don’t think it’s salvageable sweetheart.”
He sighs heavily, letting his shoulders sag. “I know.”
Alex squeezes him lightly. “Hey I know Lily’s going through a tough time at home, I know how important she is to you so what if you go to the store to get more ingredients, especially flour and then I’ll help you this time. We both know you’re cooking comprehension challenged, and it would be such a blessing to receive my assistance.”
“Menace.”
“Hey I’m happy to watch you waltz around the kitchen in your tight little short shorts as you burn another brioche.” He says this with a tilt of his head and his ever present smirk he uses to tease Henry.
“You’re lucky you’re pretty.”
As soon as Alex dries the last dish he bolts upstairs. He kneels in front of the box once again and he pulls the journal out. He eagerly flips through the pages, stopping to trace Henry’s handwriting every so often.
Enough
I have never felt good enough for anything, not even when my father was living. Clandestine hook ups and estranged loves did nothing to ease it. Even Alex wasn’t enough to fix it at first but he made the pain manageable and I’ll love him forevermore for it.
I was so tempted to self-destruct once I felt you getting too close, tempted to tell you that I go through phases when it comes to love, that I’m nothing that you want, petrified that you’d see right through me. Transparent to a fault, then you’d know what I already did. I'm not enough for you.
You should come with a warning label or a list of side effects. Including: feeling loved and accepted, no longer thinking oneself as better off dead, the heart growing fonder with each passing moment. You’re a dangerous drug Alex and I’m utterly enthralled with the mere essence of you.
I knew I couldn’t go on without you around. Your overwhelming care and affirmation keep me stable to think I almost lost all of this because I wasn’t capable of sticking up for myself like you do for me constantly, burning the bridges to my past that haunt me.
It was truly daunting until I met you, held you, longed for you, cursed the damn sky when I had to leave you because I thought it was the right thing, the only thing that I could do.
To think I almost let this all go, gave all this up before I even knew you. Any notions I had about ending it all ceased once your lips brushed against mine, and your teeth worried my bottom lip.
I never ever thought I could have you, learn you, and I’ll say it again, love you.
Now I no longer worry about being enough for you, you tell me so often I could never doubt myself again, never worry this life is not enough. Never worry I’m not worthy to live this life.
I will cherish every breath I take just as I’ll cherish every one of yours.
Alex places the journal down and watches the book flutter closed, he feels heavy after the briefest glance into some of Henry’s darker thoughts. Thoughts he’s definitely had during his blue periods. But the idea of Henry actually leaving like that, causes Alex to try to calm slightly shaky hands. He knows Henry is definitely at a better place than he was when he wrote this. He’s grateful to be here. To have pulled Henry out of his head whenever things got too dark or when he felt like he wasn’t enough. Which has always been beyond Alex when Henry is one of the best people he has and will ever meet.
He hears Henry’s car pull into the driveway and places the journal back to where it was.
Alex greets Henry at the door, helping him carry the groceries in and helps set up the kitchen for another brioche attempt. “Thank you for doing this with me love.”
“Always.” Alex says and stretches up to plant a lingering kiss on the corner of Henry’s mouth, as Henry soothingly rubbed Alex’s back and whispered more I love yous in his ear.