Chapter Text
"Chan-hyung?" Felix's deep voice comes from outside the door, and he almost snaps his neck with how fast he turns.
"Yeah?" His voice comes out as an embarrassing croak, and he clears his throat, "Yes, Felix?"
The door opens a sliver, and Felix peeks in, "Can I come in?"
Chan immediately sits up, making space for the younger, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just- I don't know."
Chan prompts gently, "There must be something bothering you, if you're here in the dead of night."
"Us. Everything between us. Why-" Felix gulps, and Chan's gaze follows his Adam's apple, "Why don't you talk to me anymore?"
"I- Lix, it's not that I don't want to talk to you. We've just been so busy lately, and our schedules don't match at all."
Felix says miserably, "That's not it. Even when I try to talk to you, you only nod or murmur a one-word answer. And you're like that to all the other members too. I want to know what's wrong with you. With us, hyung."
Chan is rendered speechless, "Felix, I- I didn't know that I had that effect on you and the other members. I'm sorry. I'll make more of an effort in conversation, I promise. I'll get over whatever this is."
"Hyung, you can tell me. Whatever it is. You know I'm here for you. You know that. I'm not giving up on you." Felix holds both of Chan's hands in his smaller ones, a determined look blazing in his eyes.
Then, Chan breaks. He cracks and crumbles at the hands of Felix.
"They- they took you away from me." Chan sobs, burying his face in the nook of his elbow. Felix tugs him gently, but Chan refuses to budge. "Don't look at me. This is so embarrassing. I'm so ugly when I cry."
"You're not, hyung, you're not. You're always beautiful to me. Hyung, please, please, let me take care of you." Felix's voice wobbles precariously.
Chan lets Felix lift up his head, and Felix laughs through his teary eyes, swiping a thumb over both of Chan's cheeks, "Beautiful, hyung. So, so beautiful."
Felix caresses his face like he's something delicate, like he might shatter into a million fragments if he applied too much pressure.
"You're so, so beautiful." Felix whispers, pressing his forehead to Chan's.
Chan hurts quietly, being so close yet so far. He hurts.
"Let's go to the park nearby." He draws away.
Felix swallows, "Okay. Let's go."
They end up stopping midway at a convenience store for hot drinks when Chan notices Felix shiver beside him.
Chan automatically reaches for the coffee, knowing he won't sleep tonight anyways, but Felix stops him with a firm look.
He pouts as Felix grabs two hot chocolates, "If we're drinking hot chocolate, then I'll pay."
Felix hums deep in his throat, "Fine. I'll pay for our next meal then."
"We'll see about that." Chan says breezily.
They continue their walk to the park with their new drinks as Chan glances at Felix tentatively every few steps. He desperately hopes the younger wasn't going to press, and he'd just laugh it off and they'd go back to normal again.
"Swings!" Felix says excitedly, rushing over to the swing set. "I haven't been on one in so long!"
"Put down your hot chocolate first, or else you'll spill it." Chan instructs from the entrance with a fond smile. He joins Felix on the swings, watching the younger swing up and down joyously.
When Felix has had his fun, he slows down, eyes sparkling, "Why don't you swing too?"
"I'll be happy just watching you." Chan replies softly. "About earlier-"
"You don't have to explain to me." Felix interrupts in contrary to his earlier words. "I think- I think I know why."
"Why?" Chan's eyes dart up to his face nervously.
Felix hops off the swings, hands fiddling nervously by his side.
"Tell me if you want me to stop." Felix places one hand on the side of his cheek. "Tell me if I'm guessing wrong."
Chan takes a shuddering breath, anticipation filling his eyes.
Felix slowly leans in and slots their lips together.
Chan sighs softly, his grip slipping on his cup of hot chocolate.
"Oh shit!" He swears loudly, breaking the intimate kiss between them both.
Felix laughs, "You were the one who told me to put it down in case I spilt it."
"Sorry." Chan mumbles, cheeks red.
He presses his own cup of chocolate into Chan's hand as he wipes at Chan's ruined hoodie and sweatpants with a tissue.
"I love you." Chan stares down at Felix scrubbing at the huge stain, love blossoming in his chest.
"I love you too." Felix replies simply, the words coming to him like second nature.
"What does this mean, Felix?"
"What do you mean?"
"What does this mean for us?"
"What do you want it to mean?" Felix finally looks up, meeting Chan's gaze with an intensity he had never seen in the younger.
"Everything. You mean everything to me." Chan says honestly.
"Okay then. Just you, and me, and everything in between." A small smile dances at Felix's lips.
"Maybe I wish there was nothing in between us right now. What do you think I mean?" Chan tilts his head cheekily, sliding one hand up Felix's jaw.
"I think maybe you should put down that cup of hot chocolate." Felix's lips quirk up.