Chapter Text
AU Timeline
"Takemitchy?"
Takemichi blinks back into reality at the call of his name. He looks up and sees Mikey's face inches from his, a tilt to his head as he stares at the younger. Takemichi doesn’t even flinch, too tired to react.
“Hi Mikey-kun,” he murmurs, slumping back down on his desk.
“Takemichi,” another voice speaks up and the younger recognizes it as Draken. “We need to get going right now.”
“Just- five more minutes,” he replies, already dozing off.
“Ken-chin!” Mikey whines but it sounds muffled to Takemichi, like it’s through water.
He barely hears the muttered “Fine,” Draken gives in reply before he passes out.
-
When he wakes up, he’s shivering. He blinks wearily, eyebrows furrowing as he tries to get his eyes to focus. He glances around, noticing the familiar sights of the shrine. Confusion settles into his bones once he processes his surroundings and he shudders before turning. He’s sitting at the back of the raised area, on the 3 steps that sit on the back. He can see Mikey, Draken and the other Toman Division Captains and Vices. He just stares, blinking, trying to remember how the hell he got to the shrine.
“Oh! You’re awake, partner!” Chifuyu is at his side in an instant, a blinding smile on his face, subtly leaning into his space.
Takemichi nods slowly. “Yeah…” he trails off, eyebrows furrowed. “How did I get here?” He’s like, 90% positive he didn’t walk.
Wait, was today an important Toman meeting day? He had shit to do, fuck. His friends weren’t going to save themselves (no matter how much he prayed they would) so he had to do it for them. Didn’t matter how many times it took, he would save them all. It didn’t matter that he was tired and that I don’t want to do this anymore, my whole body aches, I can still feel that katana going through my chest, that explosion of pain, the ache never left, why didn’t it work-
“I carried you,” Draken’s words cut through his thoughts. “You passed out and refused to wake up.”
Takemichi sighs, resisting the urge to panic and saving it for later.
“Sorry Draken-kun,” he gives the best bow he can while sitting down, still feeling too tired to stand up and do it properly.
“You alright?” Nahoya prods, poking his cheek. He had moved closer sometime during his panicked thoughts.
“Just tired,” Takemichi waves it off. “Had some late nights studying for exams,” he lies easily.
"Don't remind me Mitchy," Mikey whines, flopping down on the other side of Chifuyu.
"You can't ignore your studies, Mikey," Mitsuya speaks up as he walks closer, hands stuffed into the pockets of his uniform. "You're not in middle school anymore."
"Shhhhh!" Mikey sticks out his tongue, pouting.
"Are you still tired?" Draken asks as he notices Takemichi starting to doze again.
The blond looks up at him, blinking. "Huh?" He asks, having not caught anything said.
"That's a yes," Draken chuckles. "I'll take you home, c'mon," he offers his hand.
Takemichi takes it and gasps at being pulled up so suddenly. He stumbles and nearly falls flat on his ass but there's a hand steadying him on his shoulder.
"Are you sure you aren't sick, Takemichi?" Mitsuya asks, stepping closer.
Takemichi leans his head on the other's shoulder, drifting off again. He's not sick, he knows he's not, he's just bone deep fucking exhausted. Everything, all of it, it hurts. So much.
He didn't want to do this anymore but he couldn't give them up. He loved them so much, they were his world. Why else would he do this? He wasn't a good person, he just wanted them. He would give everyone up in the world if it meant they were safe.
"Takemichi," there's hands on his face, nails digging into his cheeks to keep him awake.
He blinks again, focusing back on the face in front of him. It's Mitsuya, lavender eyes imploring as they stare into his.
"Not sick," Takemichi replies. "Tired, just tired."
"How much have you slept?" Worry seeps into Draken's tone as he crowds close, resting the back of his hand on Takemichi's forehead. "You're not warm."
"You better not be sick, partner," Chifuyu states.
“Not enough,” he grumbles, trying to see if he can just pass out there and worry about it later.
A fun fact about time traveling was that it was exhausting. He knew he was branded as dumb, which in his opinion wasn’t too far off track, but he knew enough. Plus Naoto had drilled into him the importance of writing the important shit down for when he needed it, saying that if he wrote it down himself it was easier for him to remember or something. So even if trying to remember all the important things from too many different timelines hurt his brain he would do it no matter what. Plus, the actual way to travel was exhausting. It made him groggy and tired for a week at most normally (usually coupled with the beatings he tended to come back to).
All in all it was so fucking exhausting. Usually by now he could brush it off, slap together a decent enough sleep schedule to be awake enough when needed but now? He was just plain tired and nothing was fixing it.
“Takemichi!”
He snaps awake, head jerking up, eyes blinking blearily. Instead of Mitsuya in front of him it’s Chifuyu, worry shining clear in his blue orbs.
“How much have you slept?” This time Nahoya’s the one asking, his smile looking a bit strained.
“All day,” he manages to reply, the cogs in his brain turning slowly. “I’ve slept… 16 hours the past day.” He’s still so tired, why the fuck is he so tired??? And why is Mitsuya still holding his face? He’s okay… right?
“Hah?” Mikey’s worried tone is easy to hear even with his tired brain. “That’s bad, right Ken-chin?”
“Very,” Draken supplies, eyebrows furrowed. “How long have you felt like this, Takemitchy?” He asks, his hand now on his shoulder, squeezing tightly to keep him present.
“All week,” he supplies, feeling himself slump against Chifuyu, letting his head rest heavily in Mitsuya’s hands. . He feels so weak for some reason, more so than usual. Everything is groggy, and blurry. He feels sick too, even though he knows he’s not sick.
More words are said but he’s fading out of consciousness too fast for him to catch it. He’s just so so so tired and weak right now. He just needs a little bit more sleep, right? Right? Then he’ll be fine. He just needs to sleep more…
-
“Atsushi-kun?”
Atsushi blinks back into awareness, looking around. He notices all the eyes on him. The whole agency was in the meeting room, they had had a case to go over. He turns red as he realizes he must have hardcore zoned out, maybe even dissociated. How embarrassing, honestly.
“Ah, sorry! What was the question?” He tilts his head, hands going to fold over each other on the table, giving Kunikida his full attention.
“Are you okay? You’ve been zoned out for nearly ten minutes,” the blond asks again, pushing his glasses up a bit.
“Just something on my mind, don’t worry!!” Atsushi waves off the concern, giving a reassuring smile.
Kunikida gives Yosano a look before facing him again. “Would you like to talk about it, Atsushi-kun?” He asks, setting his papers down.
“Ah, I don’t wanna disrupt the meeting-” he starts to insist, hands waving.
“It’ll be better if you just spit it out,” Ranpo informs, sucking on a sucker. “Everyone’s curious and they won’t be able to focus.”
“Come on, At-su-shi-kun ,” Dazai prods with an alluring grin. “Share with us your thoughts.”
Atsushi bites his lip, rocking back and forth a bit. “Have you ever held someone while they died?” He asks.
Cause, well… he knows some of them have, most likely. But it was different to him, with Micchi. Nothing had been wrong with him, it was as if his brain and heart just decided to give up without warning. He hadn’t been shot, he hadn’t bled out, he hadn’t had cancer or any disease or anything. His body just… gave out in Chifuyu’s arms while he held him. Draken still had his hand on his shoulder, Mitsuyu had his face in his hands. Mikey had been reaching out, Nahoya, Souya, Hakkai and Pah close, waiting.
They had all been there, ready to help and then his soul, body, mind, heart, something had given out on him and he was gone. He was gone .
Ranpo’s eyes open at the question, slightly off put. He had expected something shocking but not something like… that. Yosano hides her surprise easily but not her concern, same with Kyouka. Kenji tilts his head, eyebrows upturned, and Kunikida’s eyes widen in surprise. Dazai gives no reaction besides his body tensing slightly while Junichiro and Naomi look at him for the first time, both of them having been too caught up with playing footsies.
“Have you?” Ranpo asks in reply, shutting his eyes again, his fingers grasping the stick of his sucker tight.
Atsushi nods. “There was nothing wrong with Takemichi-kun. He was a healthy fourteen year old with a few scrapes from fights. But it was as if his soul, heart, mind, something just decided to give up.” He swallows around the lump in his throat, looking down at the table. His hands ball into fists and he resists the urge to cry. “He said he had stayed up late studying. He said he was just tired. He didn’t even have a fever. He was just soundlessly dozing one second and the next…” he holds his face in his hands, tears falling down his cheeks. “I couldn’t feel his heartbeat anymore. Mitsuya-kun couldn’t feel his breath. Draken-kun couldn’t see his chest move. He was just gone.”
All of them had died that day alongside Takemichi. Takemichi had risked his life for theirs multiple times, he loved them without thought, with reckless abandon, fighting for them, always giving them as much as he could. He never backed down from a fight, always persevered, until it killed him. Maybe it was just too much and his body gave out. Maybe he was fighting more demons than he told them, the type that killed him silently. Whatever it was it killed him, which killed the rest of them.
Hanagaki Takemichi died in his arms. And on that day, Matsuno Chifuyu did too, alongside Sano Manjiro, Ryuguji Ken, Mitsuya Takashi, Hayashida Haruki, Shiba Hakkai, Kawata Nahoya and Kawata Souya.
Even if Nakajima Atsushi lived on, part of him would always be dead and stuck in that shrine in Shibuya.
-
Bonten Timeline
He’s startled into reality when his phone rings. He focuses back in on his surroundings. The abandoned car lot was vastly different from all those years ago, cleaner yet still dirty. The cars were the same, abandoned, piled up, wrecked. Atsushi can still remember the smell in the air that day, even if the smell was different now, and he can remember the exact place where the Haitani’s sat. He remembers Hanma’s grin, Kazutora’s crazed yet pain filled eyes, Baji’s determination, Takemichi’s warnings. He remembers how the lot looked that day, every detail he saw he remembered.
The most vivid thing he remembers, though, is all the blood from that day. It was called Bloody Halloween for a reason.
“Hello?” He asks once he answers the phone, too tired to look at who has called.
“ Jinko , the Agency’s worried,” Ryuu informs through the speaker of the phone. “You’ve been gone all day, did you even call out of work?” His tone is full of concern and worry.
“It’s Halloween,” he replies simply, closing his eyes as he sits down on the ground. He leans his back against a random car, reaching his free arm up to cover his eyes.
“Ah,” Ryuu hums. “Well, they called and if you don’t tell them where you are, Ranpo-san said he’s going to use his skills and then he’ll bug you to get him candy.”
Atsushi laughs. He knows his laugh sounds weird, it always does on days like these. Scratchy, discordant, like nails on a chalkboard. But it’s a silly thing, not a real threat but one Ranpo will follow up on if Atsushi doesn’t do what he wants.
“Tell Tora to tell them where I am. He’ll know.”
Ryuu sighs. “Alright, jinko . Love you.”
He melts slightly, still feeling terrible, but, well…
“Love you too.”
He hangs up first. He loves Ryuunosuke, but everything seems too much today. His love feels overwhelming, just like his pain. He doesn’t blame Tora, he’s well past that. Mikey had forgiven him, Mikey . Said he’ll always have a home in Toman. Baji had forgiven him, the one who had been stabbed by him, the one who stabbed himself for him. And also, he loved Kazutora beyond explanation. It was a type of love he couldn’t fathom with words, a love that bloomed in his chest, its roots digging deep into his heart.
He had loved Baji in a similar way. It was unfathomable, indescribable, something that was shared between him and Tora even if it was for different reasons and in different ways. Baji had been theirs, even if they hadn’t known each other until after everything. And then he died in his arms, thanking him of all people. He didn’t understand it. Why him? Why, why , why -
He’s broken out of his turmoil when he hears voices.
“Atsushi-kun, there you are,” Kunikida’s voice fills his ears. He hadn’t heard their footsteps with how deep in thought he was, how foolish.
He refuses to move his arm. The sound of Kunikida’s voice was too overwhelming for him, their faces will probably be the same. The sight of the abandoned lot had been the same. He’d come every Halloween since it happened, but it was always an overwhelming sight. He lost the love of his life here. He lost Baji Keisuke, one of his soulmates, one of his people. And god did it fucking hurt, but he couldn’t not come back. He always went to his grave first, his half of their peyoung yakisoba already sitting there, waiting for him. Then he came here.
“ At-su-shi-kun ,” Dazai sings, the tiniest bit of concern in his voice. “Can you look at us?” Atsushi can hear the fake smile on his face.
Sometimes, Dazai reminded him of Kisaki. They were both smart and cunning, manipulators. He didn’t trust Dazai as much as he projected, even if he loved him and considered him family. He couldn’t, not after the knowledge he gleaned from Ryuu and the way his voice could just hit that tone that reminded him of Kisaki, reminded him of the manipulation and the timelines Takemichi shared with him before he-
Well.
“I lost him here,” he replies, too drained to even try to move his arm.
There’s silence for a few moments before-
“Your friend Takemichi-kun?” Kenji questions, and Atsushi imagines him rocking on his feet, a small frown on his face.
He was the cause of Kenji’s frown. How despicable was that?
Atsushi laughs. “He died at the bottom of a building in Tokyo, Mikey-kun at his side. Here? Here I lost Baji-san .” He knows the way his voice intones when he says his name, it always will. Baji held part of his heart, and lived in part of his soul. Even if he was dead, he wasn’t gone . He couldn’t be, not when he saw him in Draken’s smile and Mikey’s laugh, saw him in Mitsuya’s quiet moments and Smiley’s fighting. He saw him in the snowfall and the food he split with Tora. He saw him everywhere because Baji had been the first person to help give his life meaning and that was important. He could never be gone, not fully.
The gasp that’s heard is distinctly Kyouka’s. The hand that he feels on his shoulder is distinctly Ranpo’s. The voice that he hears is distinctly Yosano’s.
“Atsushi-kun, please look at us, at least for a moment,” she requests.
He complies. How could he not? Her voice was soft, caring. Even if it felt overwhelming he had to, Yosano was asking. She barely ever asked for things with that tone, only when she was trying to help.
The light feels too bright on such a dark day. Ranpo has his eyes open, mouth set in a grim line. Yosano is smiling reassuringly, her hand grabbing his other shoulder. They overwhelm his vision, only letting the light seep into his line of sight.
“Baji-san was important to you, I presume,” Yosano starts.
“A soulmate,” Ranpo supplies, eyes glancing over to Yosano as he speaks before focusing back in on Atsushi’s face.
Yosano’s eyes flash with understanding, her face melting slightly, her body tensing.
“Ah, I get it, Atsushi-kun,” she nods. “You lost your soulmate here, I’m presuming on this day. And everything seems overwhelming right now, your chest hurts, your heart hurts, everything hurts , am I right? Even love, and happiness.”
Atsushi nods. It all hurts. It always does. It’s like an ache of an old wound that never fully leaves, but instead of the ache growing worse when cold or when it rains, it grows worse on days of importance. Like the day of Bloody Halloween, or the day when Mikey plunged off a roof and brought Takemichi with him.
“We’re going to take you home, okay?” Yosano decides. “We’re going to take you to Akutagawa-kun and Kazutora-kun. I know it won’t heal the ache of losting a soulmate, nothing truly can, even time, but it’ll help. Is that okay?”
He nods again. He’d like that. He wants Tora and Ryuu. He wants cuddles. He wants to cry until he pukes, in hysterics, missing Baji. It always ached just especially hard on this day so he always goes a bit hysteric. Tora does the same sometimes, but he and Ryuu make sure he doesn't relapse after that one year…
“It won’t ever be fine,” Ranpo speaks up before anyone can move. “Nothing about losing a loved one is fine, no matter how much time passes. There will be worse days and there will be better days. But it’ll be okay.” It’s not reassurance, it’s just a statement. A fact of life Ranpo lives by.
It helps.
“Okay,” he replies, closing his eyes once again. “ Okay. ”
-
???? Timeline (Maybe AU?)
It hits him one day, as he’s sitting in the office going through paperwork for a case, that he’s probably the last one left. He hadn’t been triggered in a while, and it’s been a long, long time since he’s been caught up in the world of Toman. He had wanted to stay, he really had, but he had gotten pulled away by the orphanage and then the ADA took him in. He still researched what he could about Toman on the side, tried to help, but…
All that came with that was pain.
Mikey had apparently taken out all of his closest friends. Mitsuya, Kazutora, Pah-chin, Hakkai, the twins, Sanzu, even Draken. He was fine since he was in Yokohama and surrounded by Ability users, being an Ability user himself. Plus he, in their eyes, had just randomly dipped when he was fifteen. All that was left, apparently, was Takemichi and Mikey himself. Kisaki too, the bastard, and of course where he want Hanma followed like a fucking lap dog.
He was the last one left. Hell, this Takemichi would probably be dead soon too, especially since he would probably time travel as soon as he realized what happened. Why wouldn’t he? Mikey had killed all of them . Probably influenced by Kisaki, but still. He wanted the perfect future and this? This absolutely was not it.
“Atsushi-kun?”
Kunikida’s voice cuts through his thoughts. He blinks back into reality, looking up, giving the man his full attention.
“Yes, Kunikida-kun?” He asks, tilting his head.
“You’re spacing out. Are you okay?” He cuts straight to the point, eyebrows furrowed in question.
“Ah, just a little spacey!” He smiles reassuringly. “Might take my break,” he murmurs, looking down at his paperwork. Most of it is done for the day, so he didn’t have much to do until a mission fell on his lap.
“If you think it will help, I suggest you do,” Kunikida nods, straightening up his own paperwork.
Ranpo jumps up from his seat, startling Poe who had been working at his desk.
“If you’re going on break, take me to the sweets store!” He commands, taking his sucker out of his mouth to point it at the boy.
“Ranpo-kun, if you want to go get sweets, we can go together,” Poe offers. They had noticed how iffy Atsushi had been all day and they were trying to give the weretiger an out.
“You can come too, but Atsushi-kun’s coming!” He commands and that’s that.
Honestly, Atsushi doesn’t mind. He’s quick to grab his bag and follow Ranpo and Poe out. The latter offers him an apologetic smile but he waves it off. He could use something to get his mind off of… everything.
“So, Atsushi-kun,” Ranpo speaks up as soon as they leave the Agency building, eyes sharpening despite not even being open. “Wanna tell us why you’ve been spacey?” His voice is light but tinted with seriousness. And… worry.
Oh. That’s why Ranpo wanted him to come. He wanted to give him space to talk about it without everyone’s eyes on him.
Atsushi sighs, fiddling with his hair. He couldn’t part with his past haircut, the one that Baji had forced on to him as soon as they became friends. He didn’t dye it anymore, he liked his hair grey but it was the deliquent scene, what else was he supposed to do? Not try his hand at blond? It wasn’t like he was Takemichi who had no fucking idea what toner was. It had a black streak though, something to remind him of Baji. He’s grown an inch or two since then too, something he knows only he will ever notice. It’s not like anyone else was alive to do so…
“When I was 12 to when I was 15, I was held in a home instead of the orphanage,” he starts, fiddling with his fingers. His tail and ears aren’t tranformed like they normally are, he doesn’t like to have them out when he’s just walking down the street, so he fiddles with his hands. “During that time you could say I was a deliquent…” he trails off, eyebrows furrowed as he remembers that. “When I went back to the orphanage, I never got to see them again, even after. And all of my friends are dead now so I guess it’s just been making me spacey thinking about it.”
Mikey killed them all. Well, not Takemichi from what he’s learned. He’s been a detective since he was 18, he knows how to do some sleuthing. Their crybaby hero was still alive, but for how long? Mikey had killed Draken . His Draken, the person he loved without thought, his boyfriend since they were 14. He killed him.
All because of Kisaki.
“Oh, Atsushi-kun,” Poe tucks some hair behind their ear, enough to show off one eye to show how genuine they’re being as they speak. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Ranpo’s eyes don’t open but they do seem to widen while closed. He ends up piting down on his sucker, eyebrows furrowed.
“Were you friends with Toman? A lot of their execs have been going missing recently, specifically a lot of the founders and so forth,” he asks, pushing a bit.
Atsushi nods. “Yeah, I used to run around as Matsuno Chifuyu.”
Ranpo’s eyes snap open at that, surprised. “You were at Bloody Halloween!” He accuses.
Atsushi raises his hands up in a surrender position, eyes wide in surprise. “Wha- yeah? How do you know about that day?”
Ranpo sucks in a breath, chewing on the stick from his lolli thoughtfully. Then he sighs, deflating a bit before bouncing back up. Not happy but not deflated anymore at least. “We had been following this case for a while now about this time travel Ability. First we connected it to the Black Dragons before something shifted and we found ties to Toman. But then the case went completely cold after Bloody Halloween.”
Atsushi sucks in a sharp breath at that, eyes widening. Ranpo’s narrow as he pulls out a new sucker.
“You know something,” he accuses, pulling them into a nearby alley quickly. “Spill,” he demands, hands on his hip, sucker in his mouth.
Atsushi rocks on his feet. “It won’t matter anymore, since this timeline won’t have him anymore soon,” he starts, hands closing and opening slowly. “My friend Takemichi possesses the Ability to go back and forth in time 12 years on the date when he shakes the hand of his trigger. He’s been doing it to try and save his friends, aka Toman and his girlfriend and anyoen else he gets attached to along the way. But once he time travels the timeline he left still exists just does’t have him anymore.”
Poe soaks that all in, scribbling it down in a journal. Ranpo’s hand goes to hold his chin, deep in thought. He doesn’t have his glasseso out, though, so he’s not doing something that needs his Ultra Deduction.
“So the case still ran cold,” he decides with a nod. “And!” He grins, taking his sucker out of his mouth and pointing it at the sky. “Ed-kun is going to buy you a snack!” He turns to give his a boyfriend a sharp grin.
Poe laughs. “Not a problem, my dear,” they reassure, leaning down to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. After that, they turn to Atsushi. “If you ever want to talk, I’ll always be down, Atsushi-kun. I’d love to hear the good and the bad.”
Atsushi smiles softly. “Thank you, Poe-san,” he turns to Ranpo. “And thank you, Ranpo-san for the snacks.”
“Well, of course! I can be nice!” He says smugly.
Poe chuckles fondly and Atsushi just lets a warm feeling of happiness flood through him. It wasn’t Toman, the ADA would and could never be Toman, but they were still family.