Chapter Text
Tsukki
“You need to get home now, Kei. Your mother told us to make sure that you were taking the fastest path home. It’s not safe to be wandering around on your own,” his teacher says, even though he’s barely listening.
“Whatever, I’ll head straight home.”
He shrugs his backpack on. He has a bad feeling as he starts on his new route home. Everything in him is screaming for him to take his usual detour around the school and neighborhood, but he doesn’t. He walks straight home, and doesn’t see another living soul. It’s odd for it to be this quiet at this time of day. He opens the door to his house, pulling his shoes off as he walks in.
“Kei, you’re home,” his mother says brightly.
“Why did you call the school?”
“Cause it was taking you an hour to get home. I was worried.”
“So now I can’t be out an hour after school?”
“That’s not what I said. I just don’t want you out that long by yourself. If you found someone to walk with you, I wouldn’t have a problem. If you could just make a friend to hang out with.”
Tsukki rolls his eyes.
“That’s stupid. How am I supposed to make friends if I can’t do anything?”
“Tsukki, don’t take that attitude with me. Go to your room.”
Tsukki doesn’t protest, just trudges to his room.
“Ugh, why do I need to make friends anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever met someone my age that I don’t hate. They’re all so dumb,” he grumbles, grabbing his school books to study for a while.
Tadashi
He walks home, sniffling. He had to carry everyone’s bags back to their houses, and it was terrible.
“How was school?” Tadashi’s mom asks, looking up from where she was sitting on the couch, reading a book.
“It was fine,” he says with a small smile.
He knows that he shouldn’t lie to his mom, but he just doesn’t want her to worry. She gives him a bright smile.
“How are your friends from school?”
“They’re fine. We had a really great time today.”
She gives him a blinding smile.
“That’s great, Tadashi. Do you wanna help me with dinner?” she asks, standing up.
“No thanks. I have a lot of homework. Sorry, Mom.”
“Oh, don’t be sorry. I just wanted to ask. If you need help with your homework, go get your father. He’s in his study.”
Tadashi nods, heading up to his room. He shuts and locks the door, beginning to cry. He makes sure that he’s quiet so his dad won’t hear him in the other room.
Tsukki
I hate everyone on this God forsaken team.
He looks around at the Karasuno kids all around him. They’re all so stupid, and here he is, trying to help them study so they can go to a training camp.
“Hinata, Kageyama, are you two even trying?”
Ennoshita looks equally frustrated with Noya and Tanaka, even though he’s not as vocal about it. Tsukki feels the frustration building, causing a headache behind his eyes. The frustration of everything: these idiots, his own inability to teach them cause they’re so stupid, and even his own personality. He knows that it’s not helping, but he can’t seem to shut his mouth. He’s honestly not even sure that he wants to. He doesn’t care if they like him, but he can’t help but feel like a terrible person sometimes. He’s never even had good ways of relieving stress. He feels the itch to cut like it’s a bug bite, but one that never stops itching until he does something about it. While his mother doesn’t know about the cutting, she keeps suggesting that he should talk to someone. Even if that just means becoming friends with someone from his team so he can talk to them about things if they’re bothering him. He never does. Especially not after what happened to Akiteru. He goes about life on autopilot, avoiding anything that’s not completely essential. He resists the urge to bang his head against the nearest locker, reigning himself in.
“Alright, do you understand now?” he asks, glaring at them.
Kageyama nods while Hinata shakes his head. It always goes like this. They take turns understanding the concept after Tsukki’s explained it four times while it takes the other one six times.
“Alright, I will explain it one more time. One more, but that’s it. Then I have to get home.”
Hinata nods, a determined look overshadowing all of his doubt. Suga laughs, leaning over Noya’s shoulder.
“It’s that bad?” Noya and Ennoshita both cry even though Ennoshita can’t read it while it’s upside down.
“No, no, not at all. It’s actually pretty good. I just can’t help but laugh at the way you’re staring at me right now. Sorry.”
Noya huffs before his face lights up.
“Wait, you said it was good?”
“Yeah, I did. It is good. Awesome job, Noya.”
Noya smiles at him. Tsukki feels his impatience rise further.
“Even Noya is doing better than you,” he groans, tilting his head back.
“That’s not fair. I’m doing alright,” Hinata complains.
Kageyama just stays quiet, looking down at his paper.
“Shut up,” Tsukki says, standing up.
“You don’t have to be so mean, Tsukishima. Maybe if you were nice, people would like you more,” Hinata says, folding his arms grumpily.
“Shut up,” Tsukki repeats, grabbing his bag.
No one says anything else as he walks out of the room. However, he can still hear them talking about him as soon as he leaves.
“Man, it’s like they don’t know how to shut up.”
He goes home, heading straight for his room. He doesn’t even come to a full stop to say hi to his mom. She doesn’t question it since he doesn’t usually stop to talk after getting home from volleyball. Especially if he’s getting home late.
Tadashi
The next time he sees the tall blonde from middle school is while he’s watching the volleyball Nationals in his first year of high school. He never learned the blonde’s name since they never actually talked, but everyone had seen him. It was harder not to see him. While watching Nationals, he learned that the boy’s name is Tsukishima. Karasuno continues to win, even though his team couldn’t even make it past the third match of the qualifiers. It’s pathetic, and it’s hard watching someone he went to school with succeed like that. Especially knowing that it could have been him.
“I should head down there. I know he won’t remember me, but I have a friend that goes to Karasuno. Maybe I can meet the team,” he whispers as he aggressively picks up the cans from the table to throw away.
Karasuno is eliminated before they make it to the end, but it was still an awesome run. A few weeks later, Tadashi finally makes a choice. He heads to Karasuno after school with some books that his friend left at his house. He goes to the AV club first since that’s where his friend stays for at least an hour after school. After that, he heads to the gym. He doesn’t actually go in at first, just kind of standing outside of the door. Eventually a woman walks up.
“Who are you?” she asks kindly.
“Oh, I’m Tadashi Yamaguchi. I was in the area, and I thought I would stop by. I saw you guys at Nationals. I’m sorry if this is weird, I’ll leave.”
She grabs his wrist before he can run.
“I’m Kiyoko. I’m sure the team would love to meet you.”
She pulls him inside behind her. He sits with her and the coach until practice is over. As they’re doing their cool downs, Coach Ukai clears his throat to get everyone’s attention.
“Alright, guys. As I’m sure you noticed, we have a guest today. He’s a fan, and wanted to come say hi. Alright, introduce yourself,” he offers.
Tadashi swallows, his eyes wide.
“I’m Tadashi, it’s nice to meet all of you. I’m a big fan. I play volleyball myself.”
“Awesome! Did you hear that, Kageyama? He’s a fan. We have fans.”
Kageyama nods, staying quiet. They all introduce themselves except for Tsukishima. He watches Tadashi with a weird look on his face, but doesn’t say anything. Ukai clears his throat again, looking directly at Tsukishima.
“Don’t you have anything to say?” he asks when that doesn’t elicit a response from him.
“Have we met before?” he asks, folding his arms.
“Yeah, actually, we went to middle school together. We never actually talked though. It’s incredible to meet you.”
Tsukishima narrows his eyes.
“Ok, well, I’m Tsukishima.”
“Haha, more like Saltishima,” Hinata says.
Tsukishima’s eyes grow dark, but he doesn’t say anything to Hinata. Instead he turns to Ukai.
“I’m going home. I’ll see you tomorrow with the permission form.”
After he leaves, Sawamura sighs heavily.
“We have got to get that kid to loosen up.”
Suga gives him a strained smile.
“Lay off a little, you guys. I think he has some stuff going on at home.”
“That doesn’t give him an excuse to be an ass though,” Hinata says.
“Let’s not talk about this with someone else here,” Suga replies, flashing Tadashi a small smile.
“Sorry, I can leave.”
“No, don’t worry about it. Do you want to get meat buns with us?”
Tadashi’s eyes light up.
“I’d love to!”
He doesn’t get home until late, but he still can’t shake the image of Tsukishima’s dark face out of his mind.
“It’s so weird. I wonder what’s going on with him. He never seemed like there was anything going on in middle school. It wasn’t even that long ago. Although I guess I wouldn’t have known anyway. I should just drop it. It’s not like I’m ever going to see him again.”
Tadashi wasn’t wrong. He continues on with his life, never quite feeling satisfied with his accomplishments. His self confidence never got the boost that he would have gotten from Karasuno. He spends years looking for something that he didn’t find until he was in his late twenties. A friend group and a girlfriend, who all helped him through his issues. Also, therapy, cause he could definitely use some.
Tsukki continued through high school the way he was, pushing everyone away. In fact, he continued this lifestyle till his mid-twenties. That was when his brother figured out about his self harm problem. He was forced to move home and get into therapy. After a few years, his life and job began to flourish. It wasn’t a magic fix to all of his problems, but he did learn how to deal with his own mind in a healthier way.