Chapter Text
Raph shot up, heart thudding, and lungs gasping for air as his eyes adjusted to his bedside lamp light.
“Good. You’re up,” Leo stated as he walked by, looking ready for their nightly vigilante routine. “Time to go topside.”
“Can’t,” Raph quickly replied, his brain catching up with reality as he swiftly got out of bed and ran for the dojo, dodging his brother as he left his room.
It was a dream .
“You what?” Leo called after him. Raph could imagine the scrunched up, confused look on his brother’s face.
A nightmare.
“Got somethin’ I gotta do,'' he hollered without looking back. For once, Leo didn’t try to get the last word in.
A night terror, really.
Raph half expected pouring rain as he opened the manhole, but found the city dry. The cloudless sky was a balm to his raging soul, calming his still pounding heart. Once on a roof he could clearly see the sunset on the horizon and headed your way. He jumped from rooftop to rooftop, heedless of anyone that could see him below. All he could think of was getting to you as fast as possible. He had to make sure you were okay. That you were safe and unharmed. Visions of the nightmare ran through his mind on repeat, causing him to stumble. If he stopped he didn’t think he would make it. If he stopped, Karai might get to you.
One last leap had him landing on your rooftop.
A couple of fire escapes down had him outside your bedroom.
He paused, unsure of where he stood with you after the argument that morning. Uncertain if you would even be home. He started pacing in the small space. Two, maybe three steps had him turning back around. Again and again he paced; back and forth, back and forth as his mind spun. What should he do? There was no way you would want him there.
He should’ve called.
Or texted.
Or someth-
“Raph?” Your voice, calm and curious, had him spinning to face you.
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Is everything okay?” You asked, inwardly cringing at the tremor in your voice as you climbed through the window and onto the fire escape to join him. Raph only paced when he was worried or ranting, so the question was mostly out of politeness, giving him the choice to open up if he wanted.
“You’re okay,” he breathed out so quietly you thought maybe you weren’t meant to hear it, but you nodded in reply anyway as his frantic gaze looked you up and down, hands in fists. “You’re really okay.”
“Yeah,” a nervous giggle escaped with the word as you took a tentative step toward him, an arm reaching out from habit before you stopped yourself. You weren’t sure where you stood with him after the argument from earlier in the day and didn’t want to cross any lines there may now be between you two. “Are you okay? You look kinda shook up.”
“Yeah- I mean-” he sighed, sounding heavy and frustrated as his fists finally relaxed, a hand rubbing the back of his neck, looking unsure of himself - which was odd. “Look swee’heart, I’m sorry.” His hand fell to his side, but you barely noticed, focusing on the new pet name. ‘ Shorty’ , you had heard plenty of times. And ‘ pipsqueak’ . But never something so loving. Never something that made it seem like you guys were more . The thought had your heart pounding in your chest and suddenly you were worried that he could have super hearing and-
“For everything. I was a real jerk this morning- and look-” he leaned down to your eye level and gently grabbed your shoulders, bringing you back to the conversation. “You gotta promise me somthin’.”
When you stayed silent for a beat too long he shook you just enough to make sure you were paying attention.
Your name came out as a demand. “Promise me.”
“Yeah,” you nodded. “Yeah. Anything.”
“If you eva - and I mean eva - get taken by The Foot or Karai or anybody who’s an enemy you gotta tell ‘em whateva they wanna know. Okay?”
“What?” Your face scrunched in confusion and you shook your head, wishing Raph’s heavy hands would let go so you could back away from this nonsense. “No,” you whispered out. If you ever got taken, which was unlikely in your mind, you wouldn’t dare betray the boys like that. “Why would I ever-”
“Please,” Raph pleaded, voice breaking. “I can’t- I need-” he choked out.
“Raph,” you said softly, heart beating frantically for entirely new reasons as you slowly raised your hands to grip his wrists in comfort. For you or for him, you weren’t sure. “What’s going on? What happened?”
“Nothin’,” he straightened up, breaking your hold on him, his eyes focusing on everything other than you. “I fell asleep, is all, and-”
“You had a nightmare, didn’t you,” you finished for him, taking a confident step forward. You settled a hand on his plastron, hoping it conveyed everything you’ve ever wanted to say to him. That you would never judge him. That you appreciate how protective he is. That you would always be there for him. That you love him.
Your touch finally had him making eye contact with you, eyes begging and broken.
“I just gotta know your safe, swee’heart,” he said, eyes shuttering as he took a deep, calming breath. “I can’t live- I don’t know what I’d do if- please don’t hate me.”
You jumped up to wrap your arms around his neck, heart breaking at his words. “Raph, I could never hate you,” tears fell unbidden as you continued. “I love you.”
His return embrace calmed your pounding heart, answering the question you had always wished for but never let yourself think was possible.