Chapter Text
Yuu felt like by now, they knew Malleus better than they knew themselves, because when his breathing changed, they tensed right away.
As their own body had predicted, he was waking up. First off, he shifted softly against Yuu, his breathing changing, though he did not stir further. A bit later, Yuu felt his arms tighten around them.
“Ah, good, you’re awake.” Yuu put down their tray of food and turned around to face Malleus.
His eyes blinked open slowly, pupils slowly focusing on them. He cleared his throat, saying, “Yessh, I believe sssho.” His eyes slipped shut, head leaning forward, but he seemed awake enough to reach in and remove the cotton balls from his mouth.
“Do you feel better?” asked Yuu, and Malleus nodded.
“Yes. Thank you for taking care of me.” Malleus sleepily leaned into Yuu, pressing his chest comfortably into Yuu’s own. They nearly fell over trying to scoot away, but he seemed to revel in the intimacy as he placed his cotton balls on a tissue on the nightstand.
“You must have healed remarkably quick,” said Yuu, voice trembling. Despite having quite literally slept together, Malleus being mostly lucid changed the energy in the air, as that now meant his touches were purposeful and loaded with intent.
“I do heal fast,” he explained. “I still feel somewhat sore, but I feel remarkably better,”
“That’s good,” said Yuu, who turned away and crossed their arms, not knowing what to say. Now that he was awake, their self-imposed deadline was upon them. Yuu was not eager to confront their problems directly, however.
Malleus did not seem any more eager than they did to bring up the topic, choosing instead to make himself more comfortable in their pile of blankets.
Quite dramatically, Yuu would think, Malleus wrapped his arms around them one more time and dragged them to lie down with him.
“Ah!” yelped Yuu.
“Thank you for standing me up,” said Malleus into Yuu’s shoulder, “but now, let us retire together.”
Blankets and pillows came to life, blocking out the sunlight streaming through the window and tucking themselves all around the pair. Malleus himself wove his limbs in with Yuu’s, tucking his feverish head against their neck.
“A-are you going to sleep?” asked Yuu.
“Mmm,” he said gravely, an odd rumble in his chest. “Not at this time. I was hoping instead to bask in your presence, if that is amenable to you.”
To Yuu’s total shock, Malleus began to purr, and with his tail swishing back and forth against them, they couldn’t help but think of an overgrown cat.
It was nearly hypnotizing, the rumbling, all-consuming warmth coming from a Malleus not hindered by drugs or delirium. He still smelled like lemongrass and laundry, and to Yuu, it was the most intoxicating scent in the world right now.
“Wait,” said Yuu, pushing themselves up. “We have to-“
They were suddenly shoved down quite roughly, a firm hand on their shoulder.
Malleus’s green eyes blinked at them in the shadows as they registered the thump of their back against the pillows, stunned. “I apologize,” said Malleus, gulping visibly. “I- the sudden action frightened me. I thought you were leaving.”
“Sorry,” said Yuu, “I won’t do it again.” Malleus nodded, and resumed his caresses.
“But we do need to talk,” blurted out Yuu, letting the words pour over their mouth like a fountain, seeing no other way of getting them out.
Malleus seems unfazed. “About… what, again? Our differences, I know.”
“It’s not just that.” Yuu’s heart was racing, uncomfortable with the head-on confrontation.
But they were really, really, falling for him, and their heart wouldn’t survive being blindsided again.
“Oh?” said Malleus.
“Yes,” they said, closing their eyes, trying to feed off of Malleus’s strength. “Do you think everyone will be alright with you being with a human?”
“No,” fired back Malleus easily. “When you put it like that, I do not sincerely believe every single person in the world will be happy for us. Thankfully, I am not eager to please every single person in the world.”
“What about just your people?”
Malleus placed his arm on their stomach. “You generalize us, and you generalize your own kind. You are not every human, and I am not every fae.”
“But that’s exactly what I mean! You told me you had to get over your prejudices, and that couldn’t have been easy for you. Not everyone is gonna give me that chance.”
Malleus brings them in even closer, squeezing Yuu. “You speak of the war, and again, that is a generalization. It is unfair to say all fae will hate you because some humans hated all fae.”
“I think they have a point,” Yuu said hoarsely. They were in the dream. They saw what had been done to Malleus’s beautiful homeland, to his mother and his father.
“No. I will not entertain this line of conversation any longer.” Malleus shucked Yuu up even closer, and they squeaked at the feeling of his hands on their waist. “I think you believe you are only disparaging yourself, but you disparage my people as well. Enough. You are human and I am fae, and though that may seem like an impossibility to you, I have found the person I love and that loves me. I care not for race, or class-”
“Speaking of class,” said Yuu, and Malleus sighed harshly, “Don’t you need to marry someone… like, royal?”
“Do I need to?” he said. “The Senate-”
“And that’s another thing. You think the Senate won’t have anything to say about you dating some commoner human?”
“Perhaps,” he said wearily, a shadow of something deep and dark passing through his eyes, “but the Senate will have something to say about everything I do until the day I die.”
Yuu sighed then, but Malleus wasn’t done.
“Do not allow them to sink their puppet hooks into you, my love. They have lied to me,” and at this point Malleus’s voice wavered with anger, “and I will not put my life in their hands. Though it may seem flippant to you, I do not care for their opinion.”
“But you don’t just have their opinion to consider, right?”
“Oh?” Then he scoffed. “Humans can be so self-centered. You are not the only ones who love a good fairytale, after all.”
Yuu said nothing, having run out of words. Malleus took this as agreement, saying, “Is that all, then? All you need to convince you of-”
“What about our age difference?”
Malleus didn’t answer for a moment. “What about it, then?” he finally said.
“What do you mean, ‘what about it’?" they said, their voice taking on a manic edge. “When I die in the next century and that’s not even a fifth of your life, are you gonna be ok with that? I’m supposed to be ok with that?!”
They felt something get stuck in their throat, and they tried not to acknowledge the tears in the corners of their eyes. Malleus rubbed slow circles into Yuu’s chest, trying to calm them down.
“In fact,” he said hesitantly, “I wished to discuss our options here. As you have noted, this is somewhat time sensitive. “
“Options?”
“Of course. Immortality is a subject of much discussion in this world as it was in yours. Despite my own reservations, the idea of eternal life is a covetous desire for others.” He kept stroking them slowly. “Though true immortality is not currently possible, as far as I know, significant life extension for humans has been refined in recent years.”
Yuu looked up at him. “It has?”
“Indeed,” he nodded. “Their biggest caveat, however, is that these methods tend to be more effective in youth. As such, the time-sensitive nature of my request. It is early for us, but as soon as you are ready to commit, we can begin preparations.”
Malleus’s words hit them, and they gasped. “Already!?” they exclaimed. “That’s so soon… I-”
“Yes, I understand,” said Malleus, sensing their distress, pressing his hand firmly against their chest. “But humans live for so short a time. Things must be fast, sadly.”
Taking another deep breath, Yuu tried to settle their heart rate. Committing to something like this felt wild. Princes and princesses in movies knew they were meant for one another in mere moments, but the rational side of Yuu was panicking.
“How much time would it… add?” asked Yuu.
Malleus’s hands waved in the air noncommittaly. “Perhaps a few hundred years,” he said, as if that wouldn’t make Yuu the oldest human alive someday by a ridiculously wide margin. “No more than a handful. Multiple methods of life extension can be stacked on one another, but each one can only add a little. Beyond that, they are unrefined and untested, and I would advise against risking it.”
“Hundreds,” said Yuu, their breaths picking up a bit. “My friends… my family… I’d outlive all of them.”
“Not me,” mumbled Malleus. “I will always be your friend, and you will always be my family.”
That was right. Regardless of how Yuu felt about seeing centuries go by, Malleus was doomed to a much more grim fate.
If they did this, they’d outlive everyone they knew. But that could also happen anyway, with the way that the river of life meandered.
In their heart, they couldn’t think of anything they wanted more than to just sit here with Malleus forever. Even with the chance to go home closer than ever, they found themselves hoping for a way to depart and return, so they could keep the families they had made on both sides of the mirror.
“Additionally,” began Malleus, “there is a different spell that I have heard of.”
They didn’t feel ready for one more revelation, but they cocked their head and asked, “What… does it do?”
“It would allow me to give you some of my own life, to further extend yours.”
“...what?”
Yuu felt like blood was rushing out of their head, making their limbs feel spacey and disconnected. If he noticed, Malleus didn’t notice.
“It is exactly how it sounds. You could live longer with this spell.”
“A-and you would live less?” said Yuu, feeling hysteria rise in their chest again.
“Yes,” said Malleus. “That is, after all, the concept of an exchange.”
“How could you even suggest that?” exclaimed Yuu as they flinched away, after they were able to unstick the words from their throat. “You’d be killing yourself!”
“I don’t see it that way,” he said, gently pulling them back. “Instead of hoarding an excess of life I have for no other reason than birth and circumstance, I can share it and we can both be together for longer.”
“I can’t believe you’d be ready to give up so much for someone you haven’t even known that long,” said Yuu. They were comparatively giving up little, stealing Malleus’s life. “Will you do this for whoever’s after me?”
Malleus didn’t answer for a moment. “After?” he asked. “I’m afraid I’m confused about what you mean.”
“Even if I do all that, I’ll still die well before you, right?” they said, voice still trembling somewhat. “I k-know it’s a bit morbid, but you’d be well within your rights to let yourself fall in love again.”
Malleus’s arms tightened around them in a way they hadn’t felt for a whole day. “I don’t think you understand how this works. There is no one after you.”
Yuu’s brow furrowed. “You don’t have to think about it right now, but someday you might wanna move on. I’m saying it’s ok.”
It was, in fact, the only thing that could make it ok in Yuu’s mind.
“And I am saying it is not. The members of my family only fall in love and wed once. After Grandfather died, my grandmother has continued to remain single for centuries, as you know.”
“So,” they said as horror dawned on them slowly, “I’m not only stealing your life, but your future chance at happiness?”
“No,” he refuted quite firmly. “You give me happiness right now. You will give me happiness in the future. This is why I can commit to you now- I can assure you that you will always have my love and affection.”
Yuu bit down hard on their lip, and as they ducked their head, fat tears splashed down.
“Beastie, now, please don’t cry,” he said, feeling their silent shudders. Malleus reached forward to pull Yuu’s chin to turn them around a bit.
Yuu’s face felt hot. “I can’t take anything more from you,” they said, voice weighed down by sadness. “I can’t consent to that if I’m just gonna leave you all alone again. Why don’t you wanna try again?”
“Because I love you?” Malleus looked at them oddly. “What kind of question is that?”
“But later,” they said, much whinier than they anticipated. “C’mon, that’s not fair. You can’t just say you’re never ever gonna be happy ever again. Please?”
“Yuu,” he sighed, “surely, you are not faulting me for not committing to pursuing a romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t even exist yet?”
They didn’t know why, and they felt totally pathetic, but Yuu burst into tears upon hearing that. Full on sobs wracked their body, and it took a minute for them to be able to hear what Malleus was saying as he stroked their back.
“Fine, fine, I will consider it when the time comes. But that will not be for a while, yes? So many things could happen, it is ludicrous to plan so far ahead. So please, no more tears,” he said, laying their head on his chest as they cried themselves out. As he kept stroking them softly, from the back of their head to the bottom of their spine, he purred quietly, and it made Yuu sob harder.
Once they’d calmed down, Yuu said, “And you have to make up with Silver. You need more friends.”
“How can I make something out of nothing?” When Yuu sniffled loudly, he pulled them back into his chest. “I did not say I would not try,” he sighed tiredly.
“I just don’t want you to be alone,” they croaked out, tears drying on their face.
Malleus patted their head softly, letting them hear the rhythm of his heart.
“Why don’t we just rest for now,” he said softly.
“Oh,” said Yuu, their voice still scratchy. “Are you tired? Wait, you haven’t eaten anything in a while. Do you want me to get you something?”
Yuu pushed off of Malleus’s chest to try and stand up and Malleus responded by flattening them back down.
“No,” he said stiffly. “Just here is fine.”
“Are you sure?” they prompted. Yuu knew they’d been a bit off the ball, but they wiped away any remnant tears. “I can-”
“No,” he said, eyes fluttering shut. “Right here is fine, just fine, just don’t go.”
It was too soon for him to have fallen back asleep, but the corners of his mouth titled up as he mumbled tired words of affection, and Yuu got a chance to drink in his facial features again.
His cheeks were still a bit swollen, though not nearly as bad as a few days ago. They could tell he had been holding his mouth in a specific way so as to not aggravate his jaw, given by how his words were clipped. His lips were parted just a bit now, blooming off his face like two petals of a rose.
They leaned up and gave him a little peck on the cheeks.
Malleus’s eyelids crumpled and a hurt sound escaped his lips, and Yuu realized they’d not only kissed him, but they’d just done that to a man who’d just had 8 wisdom teeth pulled out of his head.
His eyes shot open, and, filled with merriment, he smiled as best he could.
“Oh,” he breathed, delighted, “well, if you must.” And he scooped them up and shoved them forward into his waiting mouth.
Yuu tried to push away, and Malleus frowned. “Hm? Come back. I require more kisses.”
“No! I shouldn’t have done that, you’re already hurt!” said Yuu, leaning away from Malleus’ pursed lips.
“Ah, but I would endure this pain all over again for another kiss.”
“Wait until you’re healed!”
Reeling in Silver felt like setting a trap for a wild animal.
For one, he came and went from the room as he pleased. Despite their efforts to stay alert, Silver managed to avoid Yuu, no matter what time of day it was. All they’d caught of him so far were flashes of that silver hair of his, leaving behind trays of food or taking trash away with him.
But Yuu was determined. Silver was the only other person who could understand Malleus like they could, and he needed people in his corner.
So they waited in darkness, making sure to leave the lights off and the music low, lulling Malleus to sleep with steady strokes of his hair.
Sure enough, with patience, time, and some coordination with Sebek, the door finally creaked open.
The lightness of foot and hesitance in the steps made Yuu feel sure they had hit their mark. They’d had a few false starts before, where Lilia had waltzed in without a care in the world, but this time, Yuu was sure they had the right person.
They made their body go as slack as possible, mimicking the patterns of sleep as best they could as they heard Silver approach them. Yuu knew Silver would leave right away if Malleus woke up, but they hoped that, if it seemed like he had accidentally awoken Yuu, he would be more inclined to stay.
Yuu slid their eyes open just a touch to see if they could make out anything, and indeed, they could see Silver approaching. They shut their eyes quickly again and tried ro keep their breaths even as Silver got closer.
Something clanked down softly on the nightstand, and Yuu opened their eyes.
“Silver?” they said, opening their eyes to see exactly who they knew was there.
In shadows of the afternoon light blocked by the blinds, Yuu could see Silver jump a bit. “Is that you?” they continued, and it seemed like he jolted a bit again.
“It’s me,” he whispered back. “Don’t get up. I’ll get out of your way,”
“Actually,” said Yuu, heart racing as they finally caught their prey, “I wanted to ask you something.”
As Yuu shuffled themselves up to sit more comfortably to talk, Silver flinched again, backing away from them. No, on second inspection, Yuu got the vibe that he was trying to give Malleus’s head as wide a berth as possible, his eyes shut firmly as he slept peacefully in Yuu’s lap.
Yuu had wanted to adjust him more to the other side, but Malleus became anxious very quickly when he and Yuu weren’t making significant physical contact, even when he was asleep. He conveyed his tension to Yuu quite efficiently though his bear hugs and body clinging, and even now, the rest of his body was lazily wrapped around Yuu’s legs, limbs woven with theirs. Still, Yuu would have to take the risk.
“Yes?” said Silver, sounding a bit sick. “Is it urgent? If you’d like, I can call- Father.” Yuu could hear Silver’s words catch in his throat, making his sentence sound odd.
“No, thank you,” said Yuu softly. “I did want to talk to you about something else, though.”
Hesitantly, Silver nodded, but before Yuu could continue, he asked, “How is he?”
“Good,” said Yuu. “Sleeping a lot, though. Super clingy, but I bet you knew that already.”
“I never thought about it very much,” said Silver, taking the moment to observe Malleus’s sleeping form. He seemed like he wanted to stroke Malleus’s hair, but he made no move to do so.
“Do you have a lot of experience in stuff like this, then?” asked Yuu.
“I suppose,” said Silver. “I can’t remember Lilia’s being like this, or this intense, or this frequent.” He paused for a moment, and then, after swallowing, he continued, “If you’d like, I can help you tap out for a bit.”
Oh wow, this was going way better than they thought it would at this stage. “That’d be great,” said Yuu, even though they almost found themselves dreading having to leave Malleus.
“Give me one moment, then. I’ll be right back, so don’t go anywhere.”
“Will do,” said Yuu as Silver left, still pinned by Malleus as they had for the last few days.
Silver had said he would be back soon, but it had been about ten minutes and he hadn’t returned yet. Yuu thought he was either taking his time or much craftier than they had expected, but just as they were thinking about how foolish they were for letting him slip away, Silver carefully crept back into Malleus’s cavern of a room.
“Sorry,” he said. “Take this. Slide it under his head and I’ll slide these under his arms, so he doesn’t know the difference.”
Yuu took the object, not able to see it fully but finding it warm, almost hot to the touch. The rubbery feeling led them to believe it was a hot water bottle. Gently, they lifted up Malleus’s head by his horns and slid the hot water bottle underneath before tucking him back in, giving them the opportunity to get out of the bed while Malleus slept comfortably for the first time in days.
Silver finished on his side, and he moved aside to allow Yuu to step out of the nest. Despite how he seemed to act earlier, he ducked out of the way dramatically when Yuu put out their arms for balance.
It wasn’t the same, but Sebek had reacted similarly before.
“That feels nice,” said Yuu, genuinely enjoying the cool air on their skin even as it craved Malleus’s touch again. How odd.
“I’m glad,” said Silver as he turned to leave.
“Wait!” said Yuu, the sharp whisper cutting through the air. “I need to ask you more questions.”
Sebek looked nervous again. “Not here,” he said, moving to sit down next to the door. “We shouldn’t go too far, but I don’t want to speak so… close to Malleus.”
Yuu sat down next to him, trying to steel themselves for what they were about to say. “You’ve been kinda distant from everyone lately,” they started.
Silver ducked his head. “I should have known this was coming.”
“Ok, then, why?’ asked Yuu. “Everyone is so worried about you.”
“I shouldn’t have pulled away,” said Silver. “I should have handled the situation better. I’m sorry for making you all so concerned.”
“It’s not the fact that we’re worried, it’s the fact you won’t let us help you at all. You went through a trauma too, you had a bunch of big, life-changing revelations and you haven’t opened up about it at all.”
“Yeah,” said Silver, rubbing his arm. “It’s a complicated situation.”
“I guess? It can be helpful to talk this stuff out, though. You’re not alone in this, and it kinda doesn’t seem like keeping all that to yourself has been super healthy.”
“I didn’t though,” he whispered. “What we went through wasn’t the same for us all.”
“Well, yeah,” said Yuu, “but me and Sebek have found it nice to be able to talk about it with someone else who was in the same dream.”
“Just because we’re humans doesn’t mean we had the same experience,” said Silver, no small amount of venom audible.
“...What do you mean?” asked Yuu.
“I don’t think I deserve to feel any sort of way,” admitted Silver in a hushed voice, crouching a bit away from Yuu. He was not a short man, but in the faint light of the afternoon glow, he seemed small and helpless. “You were there too. Don’t you understand? The legacy of my family is soiled in the blood of Malleus and the Briar Valley.”
“Silver,” said Yuu, almost scolding. “You’re not your parents. And your parents aren’t just the people you’re related to.”
“Lilia shouldn’t have had to raise me,” said Silver, and his voice was heavy. He was trying to hide his face, but Yuu could see the soft shudders racking Silver’s body. “I don’t deserve to feel bad about anything here, aside to repent.”
“Repent for what?” Yuu whispered, and tried to reach out to Silver, who shuddered and turned away. “No. I’m serious. Explain to me what you did that you need to make amends for.”
“It’s my job,” started Silver, “as one of the last surviving members of the royal family-”
Yuu rolled their eyes and sighed really hard, on purpose so Silver would know they were frustrated. “Oh my gosh, one dream and suddenly the fate of the kingdom is on your shoulders.”
Silver sniffed. “I think that is how the divine right of kings works.”
“Silver,” said Yuu, now sounding more disappointed than anything, “Lilia adopted you, like, twenty years ago.”
“Seventeen,” croaked out Silver.
“If he didn’t wanna raise a human kid, all he had to do was put you back, right?” said Yuu. “You think you’re protecting the people you love from yourself, but doesn’t that just mean you’re pulling away from the people who love you? You don’t think they could love you back?”
“It’s not a lack of faith. They shouldn’t be obligated to give me anything.”
“Well, yeah. But they do anyway. They’re your family.”
Silver didn’t say anything for a few moments, but when he spoke again, his voice was even more choked up. “He gave up years of his life for me. I stole time he could have spent with others. With His Highness.”
“Luckily,” said Yuu, “I know a few people who can relate.”
Once again, Silver didn’t say anything, though he certainly did not fall quiet. He was clutching at himself, pasted tightly between the wall and the leg of Malleus’s desk, sniffing and trying to contain himself.
“You don’t have to talk to us,” started Yuu again softly. “But maybe you wanna talk to someone. Besides, if you’re never selfish, you never give people the chance to be generous. Right?”
Yuu scooted a little closer to Silver, gently placing their palms on his arm, not wanting to push it with the physical contact as another tide of tears peaked over Silver’s cheeks.
They sat there for a few minutes, Yuu giving Silver a chance to cry himself out. When the waves of tears finally subsided somewhat, Silver wiped his face on the sleeve of his shirt and stood up.
“I have to go now,” said Silver. “The hot water bottles are good, but they won’t last much longer. Make sure to fill them back up if you want a bit more time. Thanks for… saying all that.”
“Wait,” said Yuu before he could leave. “I need one more thing.”
“Of course. What is it?”
Yuu smiled, trying to look as reassuring as possible. “Can you grab Lilia and Sebek, and then all come here together?”
Malleus felt warm.
This was not unusual in recent days, as it had been for most of his life, but this was different from the other times for a variety of reasons.
For one, he was on the couch instead of his bed. To his left, Silver dozed lightly, himself jammed in between a pillow and Malleus. On his right, Lilia was there, with Sebek seated next to him, also asleep, head tilted back and snoring away.
In his lap was Yuu, head tucked safely under his chin, chattering softly with Lilia about something.
“This certainly was an excellent idea, Yuu,” said Lilia, who was adjusting Sebek’s head so his mouth was closed. “Though awfully intimate, it’s nice to spend time with everyone again now that we’ve all made up.”
“Thanks,” whispered Yuu. “This kind of setup is how it’s normally done, right? With family, all together?”
“Indeed,” said Lilia. “Though all of us here have different needs.”
Yuu nodded, and leaned back into Malleus, who relished the pressure and the contact. “How much longer do you think we’ll need to be here? Not that I’m complaining, but will Malleus be ready for school on Monday?”
“Most likely. I’m a bit more worried about the massive hole in the ceiling of the grand hall, but I believe the staff is already working on redirecting traffic flow as they rebuild.”
Ah, yes. His head had punched through that in the final overblot showdown.
Yuu laughed a bit. “I think my history lecture’s in a different room now.”
They sat in silence for a moment more, before Lilia said quietly, “Thank you again, Yuu. For giving me my family back.”
“Oh,” said Yuu, a trace of embarrassment evident in their voice, at least to Malleus. “I mean, obviously. Of course.”
Yuu had indeed given them all their family once again. They may be shy, but Malleus knew he’d be thanking them for the rest of their lives too, through words or through actions.
He brushed his lips ever so carefully against the back of their head, breathing in deeply. They could deal with everything tomorrow. For now, Malleus only needed this.