Chapter Text
It was one of the rare times that the Stellaron Hunters all had their separate missions (even Elio was out on those rare missions of his), well everyone but Kafka that is. She had a long streak of successful, quick missions that Elio did not bother to write her in the script for a while, giving her a “vacation” of sorts. It’s not like Kafka minded at the moment, not when she saw her lover all alone in the Astral Express (Silver Wolf’s security footage program really did come in handy, she had to admit). What she saw was soon confirmed when she got a message from an unknown number, a short and to the point text lighting up her screen.
“I need to talk to you.”
Kafka’s carefully curated mask didn’t waver one bit, though the message was in a tone she didn’t often hear from express navigator. She was most likely just joining the little heroes on their next mission, so no visits for a while. She hummed and pocketed her phone, not needing to reply as the other most likely saw that she read the message.
Her heels clicked against the polished tiles of the hall, moving to see off her companions, promising to take good care of the ship for them. Silver Wolf saluted her before pixelating away, Blade just stalked off into the shadows, and Elio disappeared into thin air, leaving an excited Kafka behind. She waited a moment before walking back to her room, which was her secret ticket to the express.
She unlocked the door and closed it behind her, wanting privacy even if she was the only one there. She walked over to her full length mirror, watching it glitch for a split second before her eyes gleamed in anticipation. Though she would never say it out loud, she missed her lover, so she was ready to see her once again.
She plucked a bright red rose from her indoor garden, one that bore no thorns, one perfect for her partner. She hid it in her back pocket, looking at her reflection once more before walking through the mirror, leaving behind nothing but a few stray glitches.
—
The express was unusually dark, the air thick with an emotion that Kafka couldn’t quite place. She couldn’t help feeling that something was off about this meeting, from the text to the current atmosphere. She kept a bit of her guard up, wanting to be prepared in case something were to happen.
She walked over to the passenger cabin, her heels silent against the thick carpet. She stopped outside of the coffee scented room, her mask softening just a bit at the familiar smell. She knocked on the door gently, not wanting to create a lot of noise just in case the express was full, though she doubted it. Whenever they had their little meetings, the express was almost abandoned so as to not get caught by her troop.
The door opened to reveal a woman that could rival a Greek goddess. Her long red hair falling onto her shoulders in the most alluring way. Her pale skin helped her sharp, dark red eyes stand out, looking as if they were able to cut stone. All of the soft yet striking features that Kafka had become obsessed with all those years ago had her lenses flickering off, revealing her clear purple eyes. She smiled fondly, her lover was the only one she could be true around after all. She reached out to brush a stray hair behind the navigator’s ear, her voice could not hide her affection for the woman before her.
“Why hello, Himeko”
Instead of returning her own greeting, Himeko gently grabbed Kafka’s lingering hand and moved it away from her face, her eyes not once meeting Kafka’. She stepped aside from the door, making room for Kafka to enter. She cleared her throat before speaking, her voice hesitant yet formal.
“Please come in. I have something I would like to discuss with you.”
She didn't wait for an answer before walking over to her bed and sitting down on it. Kafka’s brows furrowed in both confusion and concern, her smile wavering a bit. She complied and walked in, shutting the door behind her before moving to sit at the small table in the room. She sensed that Himeko needed some space.
She waited for a few moments, wanting to give Himeko the opportunity to start the conversation before realizing that that wouldn’t be happening.
Her voice was gentle with a cautious undertone as she spoke, wanting to gauge the tone of this meeting of theirs.
“What did you need to talk about?”
Her question received no reply, the silence of the room growing thicker by the second. She could see Himeko thinking hard about something, her eyes not once leaving her lap. Kafka stood up and walked over, kneeling down in front of her while grabbing her hands and looking up with the most tender expression she could. She whispered softly, wanting to comfort her love in any way she could.
“My dear rose, what is troubling you?”
That seemed to break her out of her thoughts as she finally made eye contact with Kafka. Her eyes flashed with shame before she spoke, her voice barely heard.
“This…was a mistake.”
Kafka froze for a moment, her mind automatically skipping forward to what she could tell what was coming. Her brows furrowed once more as she silently asked for an explanation, though she was sure it wasn't one she wanted to hear. She saw Himeko take a breath before elaborating, her voice more stern this time.
“We shouldn't have done this, any of this. It’s just a waste of time, delaying the inevitable. I know we both know that.”
Kafka leaned back, dropping Himeko’s hands and avoiding her eyes as if she had been burned. Oh. So that’s what this meeting was about. She should’ve known. She should’ve known. Himeko didn't wait for Kafka’s mind to finish processing before continuing her attack on her heart.
“I figured we should end it before it was too late to properly start our lives, to create loving families.”
Kafka held a hand up to signal Himeko to pause her speech, her voice coming out in a quiet, almost vulnerable whisper.
“...You think this was…a waste of time?”
Kafka didn't dare look up, not wanting to see the stupid confusion that was without a doubt clear in Himeko’s expression. She swallowed thickly as she awaited her response, steeling herself for what Himeko would say next.
“Well…of course it was, Kafka? We can’t build a life like this.”
Kafka felt her heart fall to pieces, the words cutting through it like it was paper. She let Himeko’s words sink in for a moment, trying to formulate at least a simple response; though it’s hard when the person you thought understood you didn’t really care the way you thought they did.
Kafka had thousands of words, so many things to say, to express how she felt, but in the end she bit her tongue. She could no longer share her true feelings, her true self, in this space anymore. She spoke low, not an ounce of the familiar fondness Himeko had grown to know was heard.
“So what are you going to do now? Who are you going to build your life with, if it’s not me? Will it be with a man? Surely not, you’ve said you had no romantic interest in them. So then who?”
Himeko paused, it seemed she hadn’t thought that far ahead; Kafka resisted the urge to scoff. She could feel something rising in her, though she couldn’t quite tell what it was. Anger? Frustration? Regret? Helplessness? The first three were the most probable, and she hoped to aeons it wasn’t the latter. She had to keep her cool, this was no longer a close individual after all. She couldn’t be seen in a vulnerable state, not by someone who will now inevitably be working against her.
Himeko sighed, a bit of frustration in her tone as she tried to explain it to Kafka.
“I will find a man to love in time, but that’s not what I'm talking about. Kafka, you are a wanted woman on many different planets. One wrong move and you’re caught, and you won’t be able to build a life at all. You think I can deal with that? I can’t put my life on pause for you.”
This time Kafka did let out a scoff, finally rising to her feet in order to put some distance between the two. That’s what this is about? She’s acting as if Kafka was bound to get caught any moment or that she specifically told Himeko to wait for her. Kafka ran a hand through her hair, causing some pieces to fall out of the loose bun they were in. She couldn’t believe the fact that she was fully prepared to have a life with someone who thought it was a waste of time. Her voice rose a little as she spoke again, still avoiding Himeko’s piercing gaze.
“I never asked you to put your life on pause for me. But if I did, you really wouldn’t wait for me? Not even a little? You wouldn’t try to get me out? It would just be over? Himeko, I would do anything for you and you won’t even spare me a glance.”
Her tone grew exasperated, her true feelings coming out more than she expected. Kafka bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying anything else. She heard a frustrated groan from Himeko, and soon frustrated words would fill the room.
“That is exactly why we can’t be together. You are a criminal Kafka, you are willing to do things that no normal person should want to do. You shouldn’t be proud of that!”
Kafka froze at that, not expecting such feelings of hatred to come from who once was her world. She heard a sharp gasp from Himeko, it seemed she didn’t expect to say that either. She saw Himeko move towards her out of the corner of her eye and quickly side stepped her.
“Wait, Kafka I didn’t mean-”
Kafka raised a hand, signaling her to stop talking. She could hear the slight desperation, the willingness to take back what she said in Himeko’s voice, but she no longer cared. She was nothing to her now, Himeko made it very clear that they shouldn;t have anything to do with each other.
“Save it. Why don’t you find a nice man to settle down with? After all, a hero like you shouldn’t be with a criminal like me.”
Kafka finally allowed their eyes to meet, only Himeko was met with blurry lenses instead of her sparkling eyes. Kafka walked over to the mirror that Himeko held as her gateway to the Stellaron’s ship, sensing that this conversation would become pointless if she stayed any longer. Though instead of walking right through, she paused. The silence of the room was thick, only to be broken with Kafka’s parting words.
“I hope you’re happy with someone who would rather burn you for the world, when you could’ve had someone that would burn the world for you.”
She didn’t bother to look back as she walked through the mirror.
Kafka found herself in her office back, far away from Himeko. She stood there for a few moments, letting her emotions simmer for a little while she tried to figure out what to do now. The simmering didn’t seem to work as Kafka pulled out her gun and shot the mirror, effectively blowing it to pieces. She felt satisfied as she saw shards of glass glitching before they faded away. It felt good to shoot something, really good actually. She might call up Elio and ask him to put her on a mission now. She could use the stress relief. She opened the door to her office, and set on going to her bedroom to destroy the last mirror that led to Himeko. She wanted to destroy any evidence of what they had, not wanting to be reminded of her stupid mistake. Her office door slammed behind her.
In her haste, Kafka didn’t notice the flower that fell out of her pocket, the one she intended to give to her (ex) lover. Though instead of the bright red it previously had, the rose was now a deep purple, its petals already wilting, and sharp thorns were growing from the stem.