Chapter Text
Finally, Jay and Kira had made their way back to Jay’s bedroom. This led to them being sprawled across Jay’s mattress, curled up together. Kira’s armor was discarded somewhere on the floor. In the dim light of the room, it was hard to tell where it had all gone.
Moments like these were rare–whether it be because of the two’s schedules or the worry of being discovered–so Jay had learned to appreciate the ones that they got.
Neither had really spoken since they had reached the room, each just cooling down from what had happened at dinner and enjoying the other’s company.
“Jay, do you think your father found out about us?” Kira wondered aloud, mindlessly drawing circles into Jay’s back. “I mean, there hadn’t been any rumors about this happening. Usually, some of the others will overhear things like that. I just wonder how abrupt this is.”
“I’m not sure,” Jay admitted. “You haven’t… You haven’t heard anything about us? People seeing us leaving the training room together or anything?”
“No one has mentioned it to me. I don’t know why they would, though. But I haven’t overheard anything, either.” Kira leaned her head back against the bed, the moonlight from the window shining over her freckles.
Gods, Jay loved her freckles. The way they were sprinkled across Kira’s face like the stars in the night sky had always enamored Jay. She’d never been able to stay away from Kira, even in their busiest times. Even when the two could spare only a few minutes every so often, the sight of Kira never failed to take Jay’s breath away.
It had been that way since they were young. Kira had come to the castle when she was young. The two had become fast friends, and it was plain to anyone who saw them that they cared deeply for each other.
The two had shared their latest nights with each other, their deepest secrets. Hopes, dreams, things they wanted to experience.
Jay was sure she knew Kira better than she knew herself. The same could probably be said in Kira’s situation, that she knew Jay better than herself.
“You’re staring again,” Kira hummed. “Are you doing that thing where you get all dramatic in your head again?”
“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jay lied, burying her face in Kira’s shoulder. “I totally wasn’t.”
Kira laughed. “You were, weren’t you?”
“What does it matter? I can’t lie to you, you see right through it.” Jay teased, pressing her forehead into Kira’s shoulder. “Can’t you just let me live?”
“Well, given that is officially my job now, yes. I’d quite like it if you lived.” Kira hummed, relaxing into the mattress. “I can’t help it, Bluejay. I just know you too well.”
“I know…” Jay felt around for Kira’s free hand, squeezing it tightly. “You can read me like a book. You’ve always been able to.”
“Yeah… You know, I think that I could stay here forever. Right here, just the two of us. It sounds… It sounds incredible. Just the two of us.”
“Yeah? You sound tired, Ki.” Jay hummed. “Is everything okay? I know today’s been busy.”
“It’s nothing. Just…” Kira trailed off, hesitation clear in her tone. “Jay, can I confess something?”
“Of course, you can. You know you can tell me anything.” Jay sat up a little, studying Kira. “Are you okay?”
“Everything’s fine. I just… Jay, I really don’t know what I’m doing. Or what I’m supposed to be doing.” Kira admitted, staring up at the sky painted on the ceiling. “With the whole guard thing, I mean. I’m not sure when I am or am not supposed to be with you. I don’t know how far I’m supposed to be, how much I’m supposed to linger. And I really don’t want to fuck it up, because it’s a big responsibility and a huge honor, and it’s your life on the line.”
Kira had always been a worrier, Jay knew that. Since they were young, she’d made sure to stick to the rules. She’d go where she was told and do what was expected of her. But when the two were alone, she was a different person. She wasn’t in work mode, expecting her every move to be watched and judged. She was simply Kira.
Jay loved that side of her. Not that she didn’t love the other side, she did. But when they were in a room just the two of them, that was when Kira shined. When she allowed herself to relax, to just be .
“I’ll be okay. I trust you. But it isn’t just the big things like that that are bothering you, I can tell.” Jay sat up. “Talk to me, Ki.”
“It’s stupid.”
“Of course, it isn’t.” Jay cupped Kira’s face, gently rubbing her cheek.
“There’s just–There’s no rules . I mean, do I always go with you to dinner? Do I just stand behind you at the table and eat with the other guards some evenings? I really have no idea. The captain didn’t really walk me through anything. I know I told your father that he did, but he didn’t, really. I just don’t want to do something wrong that gets you hurt.”
“Hey, you won’t. You won’t do anything wrong. And of course, you can eat with us. I mean, Lizzie does. And I know Mom and Ava were happy to have you there.” Jay promised, brushing a lock of hair out of Kira’s eyes. “Besides, I want you to be there, alright? I want you there with me.”
“But I don’t know if I’m supposed to be there, Jay.” Kira met Jay’s eyes. “There’s not exactly a starter course for one of the most prestigious jobs a knight can have. It’d be nice if there was, but there’s not. I just have to try really hard to not fuck it up.”
“You won’t,” Jay promised, a smile on her face. “Ki, I know you. I know you’re going to be incredible. You’re arguably the best at what you do, and I trust you enough to know that I can depend on you for whatever happens.”
“What if that turns out badly?” Kira finally sat up, putting a hand on Jay’s arm. “Jay, if some stupid decision I make results in something happening to you, I could never forgive myself. If you got hurt because of some idiotic thing that I did, I… I don’t know that I could live with myself if you got hurt because of me.”
“Hey, nothing like that is going to happen. Nothing is going to happen. We’ll be okay. I promise.”
“But what if it isn’t? What if everything that’s happened over the last decade of our life comes crashing down because of me?”
“Then we’ll deal with it.” Jay said softly. “Together. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it together, okay? Because there’s no way I’m doing it alone, and there’s no way I’m letting you do it alone, either.”
Kira released a deep breath, leaning her forehead against Jay’s. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I know it’s a lot.” Jay wrapped her arm around the back of Kira’s neck, holding her close. “I’m really lucky to have you, Ki. I don’t know where I’d be without you by my side. Who I’d be.”
Kira chuckled softly, staring at Jay. “You always know exactly what to say, you know that?”
“I try,” Jay pressed a kiss to Kira’s lips. “We’ll be alright. Got it?”
“... Yeah. Yeah, I got it.”
“Good.” Jay pulled back, looking out at the moon through the window. “It’s a full moon tonight, you know.”
“Oh, yeah?” Kira followed her eyes. “How weird, I can’t see it from over here. You’ll have to show me.”
Jay chuckled softly, slipping off of the bed. She playfully tugged Kira to follow her to the window.
“See? Right there.” Jay pointed to the moon, shining bright and full through the window. “It looks gorgeous.”
“Mm, I can think of something more gorgeous.” Kira wrapped her arms around Jay from behind, resting her chin on Jay’s shoulder. “It’s very pretty, though.”
“Isn’t it?” Jay leaned back against her. “Thank you for today.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I was kind of… Ki, I was kind of all over the place for a lot of today. I know I’ve been kind of all over the place a lot recently, and it… You’ve really helped me keep it together. Especially today.”
One of Kira’s hands found Jay’s, squeezing it gently. “You’re my best friend, Bluejay. I’d do anything for you. You know that.”
Jay sighed contently, looking up at Kira. “I love you, you know that?”
“I know,” Kira pressed a kiss to Jay’s lips, humming softly. “I love you, too. Always.”
And so the two stayed just like that for a while, enjoying each other’s embrace and the light of the moon. They eventually crawled back into bed and dozed off.
Ultimately, Jay knew that she could rely on Kira to be there when she needed her to be, and she knew that if Kira needed her, she would be there. That was all she really wanted at the moment. Comfort in the arms of someone she trusted, someone she knew she could spill her thoughts to with no remorse.
And she had found that a long time ago in Kira. Years upon years of trust and whispered conversations under the covers had blossomed into the bond that Jay and Kira had, and she knew that it wouldn’t be going away anytime soon.
Things may change in the future, but Jay knew for certain, Kira would be there for her.