Chapter Text
It was only after he had carried the fourth cardboard box filled with Christmas decorations, ornaments and other trinkets that he felt exhaustion slowly creeping up on him. The basement smelled of dusty clothes and mothballs and Seokjin made a mental note to ask his mom to throw out some of the old furniture laying around the compact space before he goes back to his dorm. He stretched his arms and legs out the moment he got to the living room, laying sprawled across the couch and reveled in the way his body relaxed with the pull.
“So, what are your plans for New Year’s?” Seokjin opens his eyes to see his mother standing near the end of the couch, grocery bag in hand, “You dad and I are going to see the trot show, I’m guessing you don’t want to come?”
Seokjin scrunched up his nose in distaste, spending his New Year’s in a swarm of middle aged or elder people didn’t really seem ideal, “No, no,” He paused to think because in all honesty he had no plans, not with his university being closed, “I’ll let you know, if I don’t go anywhere I’ll just stay at home or go watch the fireworks,”
“Alright, let me know if you need to borrow the car,” She responded with a nod as she made her way to the kitchen, “Why don’t you ask that friend of yours? What’s his name again, Namjoon?”
Seokjin almost coughs out loud at his mother’s obliviousness but composes himself to the best of his efforts, “Ah, yeah. I’ll ask him and see how it goes,”
Seokjin hadn’t told his parents about Namjoon, it’s not because he was dating a man, no. He’s pretty sure his parents knew he was gay before he even came out to them four years ago. It’s just that he really doesn’t know what to refer to Namjoon as; they had never bothered to put a tag on their relationship, if it could be called that. Yes Seokjin has always adduced Namjoon as his ‘boyfriend’ in his mind but never has he said it in front of someone else and neither has the younger. This is exactly why he finds himself laying in bed at two in the morning, wide awake and wondering if it was okay to ask Namjoon to spend New Year’s with him, given that it is rather a couple-ish thing to do.
It’s around three in the morning when Namjoon’s phone buzzes nosily on his side table, effectively disturbing his slumber and making him groan. He’s prepared to cuss out whoever decided to call him in this ungodly hour but all his revile dies in his throat when he sees the caller id ‘Jin-hyung’.
Namjoon straightens himself up as much as possible, clearing his throat and willing the sleep laced in it to go away before answering, “Hyung,”
“Joonie,” Namjoon’s lips broke into a smile at the sound of Seokjin’s voice, soft and whispered in the night, “I’m sorry for calling at this hour.”
“No, not a problem at all Hyung,” Namjoon says reassuringly, this is far from a problem, “What’s wrong?”
“I-“ There’s a pause on the other end and Namjoon can feel Seokjin’s nervousness, can imagine the elder’s nails digging into his palm and he’s quick to comfort him.
“Go on Hyung, just tell me what’s on your mind,”
Seokjin sighs into Namjoon’s ear before continuing, voice strained and distant, “What are we Joonie?”
It’s needless to say the question catches Namjoon off guard, his mouth going dry and his mind trying its best to work to its fullest in the middle of the night, “What do you mean Hyung?”
There’s a groan at the other end as Seokjin regrets every passing second from the moment the question escaped his mouth, “I mean, are we dating? Is it okay for me to tell people we are? What are we?”
See Namjoon is a smart guy, he always has been when it comes to remembering information or instructions already inked in books for years, but this, this isn’t something he has ever read about. There isn’t a manual out there that entails how to be with someone, to date them, what questions cross one’s mind while they’re dating and how to deal with them. In this moment he genuinely wishes there was because Seokjin’s question has him stumped.
He clears his throat a little before responding, “We’re whatever you want us to be Hyung.”
There’s an uncomfortable silence that falls over the phone, one that neither of them break and Namjoon can feel it weighing down on him. He’s about to apologize; do something at least to make up for his inability to deal with situations that involve emotions, especially at 3 am when Seokjin speaks up again.
“Do you want to go out during New Year’s?”
Namjoon blinks at the darkness in his room, mind drawing up his schedule to see what plans he would have to cancel to spend the evening with Seokjin, thankfully there isn’t much, “Yeah, of course I would. When and where do we meet up?”
“I’ll let you know via text, go back to sleep now. Good night, and forget about what I asked earlier,”
“Nights,” Before Namjoon can say another word the line cuts off, leaving him alone in the dark with the dying beeps of the phone.
“Kim Namjoon you fucking idiot,”
“Yoongi!” Jimin half heartedly scolds with a slap on Yoongi’s thigh, “He just got nervous, isn’t that right hyung?”
Namjoon shrugged, keeping his eyes on his hands that are currently nervously balling up his shirt in lieu of looking at his bewildered best friend. He had contemplated over and over again in his head if he should tell Yoongi about his little phone call with Seokjin in which he had potentially fucked up everything he’s been building up between them and after about three hours of tossing around in bed he finally put on his best shirt, deciding that he needed someone to set his mind straight.
“You guys have been seeing each other for almost six months now Joon, I think that classifies as a relationship,” Yoongi said finally, “You could have at least said that instead of ‘we’re whatever you want us to be’, this isn’t some drama,”
Namjoon stretches out his legs before letting out a frustrated scream, “How the hell am I supposed to make this right now?”
“Well Seokjin hyung didn’t cut off your plans right?” Jimin pipes in, a hopeful smile on his lips.
“No, thank god no,” Namjoon sighs
“Well that’s great then,” the orange haired boy almost jumps in his seat in excitement, “When you guys meet for New Year’s just tell him that you didn’t mean it,”
An argument sits on Namjoon’s tongue about how it isn’t that easy, what if Seokjin wouldn’t let it slide that easily but then his mind decides to remind him of how soft hearted the elder is, how effortlessly he understands Namjoon and his inability to voice exactly how he feels if it isn’t in form of late night texts.
“Yeah,” he finally says, pausing to look at Yoongi for approval who in turn gives him a quick nod, “I’ll do just that,”
“Don’t fuck this up,” Yoongi says with a pat on his back.
Seokjin is annoyed; annoyed at how much noise the construction workers near his house make, annoyed at how many assignments he has to finish before university starts again but mostly he’s annoyed at how fast his head is burning up and his body begins aching. He groans into his pillow, knowing very well these are the symptoms of an oncoming and inevitable fever and curses Kim Namjoon under his breath; if he had avoided making out with said boy when he had a fever he could have avoided this predicament. The memory of Namjoon’s pulp lips on him make his cheeks burn with even more vigor.
“103 degrees,” his mom signs, “How did you even manage to catch a cold? You’re always well bundled up,”
“Uh,” Seokjin’s eyes jump to every object in the room that isn’t his mother, “You know, it’s pretty cold anyways so-“
“Well you’re not leaving the house today,” she states, putting the thermometer back in its casing, “I’ll call your father and cancel our plans for today,”
“No!” Seokjin half-shouts, “Don’t cancel your plans, dad’s been looking forward to this all year. I’ll be fine; I’ll call a friend over,”
His mother squints her eyes, hands on her hips as she mulls the suggestion over in her head, “Seokjin I couldn’t-“
“I’ll be fine mom, I swear. And if I need anything I’ll call you right away,”
She lets out a defeated sigh, “You can be so stubborn sometimes. Fine, but you have to text me every thirty minutes so I know you’re alive.”
“Of course,” Seokjin replies with a grin, looking much happier than the part of him that’s dying inside.
Seokjin scrolls through the multiple New Year’s special shows flashing on TV, nothing really catching his eye once his mother is gone. The thought of having to cancel his plans with Namjoon upsets him more than he’d like to admit, but he doesn’t want the pink haired boy to catch a fever again (and turn into a whiny baby), so he decides to text him.
‘Sorry but I don’t think I’ll be able to go out tonight, got a fever :('
He contemplates adding a ‘I love you’ and a heart emoji but his mind reminds him of their phone conversation and he resists the urge deciding to keep it short and simple.
It’s around three when Namjoon comes back from his insipid, dead end part-time job at a retail shop and exhaustion beats his body down. He sighs before burying himself under his many layers of blankets; the wind was particularly cold today and his cheeks are starting to patch red, when his phone pipes up from where he had carelessly discarded it on his side table. Reluctantly and with much refusal from his tired limbs he reaches out and grabs it.
‘Jin-hyung: Sorry but I don’t think I’ll be able to go out tonight, got a fever :(’
No, no, no Namjoon’s mind screams at him, cursing himself because he doesn’t process the message past ‘I don’t think I’ll be able to go’ and his mind is going into panic mode; thinking he’s finally fucked up things between them. He wills his heart and mind to calm down, ‘Panicking won’t resolve anything, talk to him you idiot’ he tells himself in his best Yoongi voice.
“You have a fever?” Namjoon says as soon as Seokjin receives the call
“Hello to you to Namjoon, and yes, yes I do,” his voice sounds as sassy as Namjoon remembers and it makes a smile tug at his lips.
“On the day of our date, amazing,” Namjoon says with a sarcastic lithe.
“And exactly who’s fault do you think that is?” the elder retaliates with the same tone.
“Why are you bla-“ Before he can question Seokjin images of the elder cuddling, feeding and kissing him while he had his fever flood his mind making him cough, “Oh-ahem-right,”
“Mhm, I’m sorry though. You should go out with Yoongi and the other’s if they’re going out?”
“Your parents will be home right?” Namjoon says, thinking the suggestion over in his head.
“No, no, I asked mom not to cancel their plans today. Dad’s really excited so, don’t want to ruin it for them.”
“So you’ll be alone?”
“Yes.”
“On New Year’s?”
“Yes?”
“I’m coming over.”
To be honest Namjoon’s knowledge of healthcare is negative which is why he heavily relies on his mother and sister back home, Yoongi when he’s at dorm and now Seokjin. This is why the way he’s walking around the departmental store, eyes wandering and foot tapping, lost as a goose in snowstorm is completely justifiable. He had asked his mom about the necessities, after answering her many questions of who it was for and if he has a fever, and listed them neatly on a piece of paper but navigating around the store wasn’t really his forte. So he calls the only person who can help him.
“Hyung,” He says in his sweetest voice, looking around for people listening to him.
“Joonie?”
“Hyung do you know where I can find broths in the departmental store near our dorms?”
“Oh my god, you-I told you not to get anything,” Seokjin sighs on the other end, his frown clear in his voice “Also you can just ask one of the clerks there,”
“They’ll think I’m stupid,” Namjoon replies with a pout, “Just tell me c’mon,”
“Aisle three,” Seokjin says with a laugh, “Don’t get lost,”
“Don’t laugh at me,”
Seokjin is starting to worry when the clock reads four-thirty; Namjoon is taking awfully long for a departmental store run being that it’s so close to their dorms, and is about to call the boy when the door bell rings. Seokjin groans as he climbs out of bed, blanket wrapped around him like a roll and drags himself to the door.
“Oh my god Kim Namjoon what is all of this?” Seokjin almost shouts, mouth open in shock because the younger has approximately three bags of shopping clutched in his hands, “I’m the only one sick here, not my whole family,”
“It’s nothing, I’ll take care of it,” Namjoon says walking inside and carefully putting down the bags on the kitchen counter, “Are your parents home?”
“No they left twenty minutes ago,”
He leans over the counter and places a kiss on Seokjin’s cheek, the heat making his lips burn, “You go rest, you’re really burning up,”
“But-“
“No buts, I’ll be there in a minute promise,”
Seokjin bites into his bottom lip, highly unsure of leaving the kitchen in Namjoon’s hands but his legs are threatening to give out below him and he sighs before dragging himself and his blanket back to bed. He positions his pillows so he lies down horizontally in lieu of his usual position to get a clear view of the kitchen because he’d rather watch an adorably lost Namjoon run around in the kitchen than some New Year’s special.
He can’t help the grin that surfaces on his face as he sees Namjoon scroll through the recipe on his phone and squint his eyes at the ingredients, from the looks of he was attempting to make bone broth; something his other makes him whenever he’s sick. It was endearing if not funny to see the younger struggle with the ingredients and Seokjin could feel the previous exhaustion dissipating from his body.
“Joonie!” Seokjin calls out, his throat raspy, “Do you need any help?”
Namjoon looks up from where he was chopping the carrots with an unnecessary amount of force, his cheeks instantly tinting pink from embarrassment, “No! You stay right there; just give me fifteen mintues,”
Seokjin musters up his best pout, “But I’m getting bored, nothing to watch on TV,”
“I am trying to help you,” Namjoon says with an exasperated sigh, one hand on his hip and the other holding up the knife, “Give me fifteen minutes ok,”
Seokjin holds back his laughter at the sight, “Okay, okay,”
It takes Namjoon thirty minutes to finally make his way over to Seokjin’s room, a tray in one hand while another clutches a bag of medicine and other necessities.
“You really went overboard,” Seokjin sighs, scooting over to make room for the younger.
“Not at all,” the other replies, putting down the soup and taking out the shopping, “So I bought you some probiotics, cod liver oil and Advil for your headache, there’s also some peppermint tea boiling over at the kitchen I’ll get it for you later,”
“Would you look at that Kim Namjoon genius, extraordinaire and apparently care taker,” Seokjin says teasingly, pulling the other to bed by his hand.
“Oh shut up,” Namjoon mutters under his breath as Seokjin places a kiss on his cheek,
“Thank you,” the elder says against his cheek, “Are you going to feed me as well?”
Namjoon squints at him, “You look good enough to eat by yourself,”
This earns him a soft slap on his arm and Seokjin’s wonderful laugh ringing in his ears, “Feed me you unromantic robot,”
Namjoon rolls his eyes but complies nonetheless, making sure to keep the tray steady his lap and not burn Seokjin when he spoons the broth into his mouth.
“I think you’re getting better at this,” Seokjin says after gulping down his last spoon of broth.
“At what?”
“Being a boyfriend,” Seokjin says with a cheeky smile, but the expression and blush on Namjoon’s face makes him rethink his words, oh right.
“Ah I mean-“
“I’m glad you think so,” the other replies before Seokjin can speak up, “I’m going to go get the tea alright?”
Seokjin nods before lying down on his bed, letting himself drown in the comfort of the soft mattress.
“Should I put the tea aside for later?” Namjoon says once he’s back.
“Hmm, I’ll have it later. Come here,”
The younger carefully puts down the tea, covering it before quietly climbing into Seokjin’s bed, the soft mattress sinking under his weight, “Your bed is really, really soft,” he comments.
“I know right?” Seokjin pipes up enthusiastically, “I love it,” he adds while his his hand roams behind in search of Namjoon, eyes pasted to the TV screen.
Namjoon takes a hold of the other’s hand before settling himself behind him and wrapping their intertwined hands around Seokjin’s waist. Seokjin’s body burns like fire from the fever, but Seokjin’s skin always burns against his; always warm and comforting to touch. He allows himself to melt into the heat, snuggling closer to the elder’s back and placing a kiss on the back of his neck. Seokjin giggles at the ticklish sensation of Namjoon’s lips against the back of his neck but pushes back nonetheless.
“If you get a fever again you can’t blame me,” He says, giving Namjoon’s hand a squeeze.
“It’s okay as long as you take care of me again,” Namjoon says and Seokjin feels a smile against his neck.
“Never,”
Before Seokjin has the chance to react Namjoon’s hand starts tickling the side of his stomach, a sensitive spot the younger had discovered recently, “What did you say?”
“Oh my god-“ Seokjin tries to speak up in between giggles, kicking his feet against the bed, “Okay, okay I will, let me go,”
Namjoon gives a throaty laugh before stopping his ministrations and pulls Seokjin closer, placing a kiss on his very red ear, “That’s better,”
It’s been an hour since they got into bed, and Seokjin revels at the feeling of Namjoon’s colder skin against his heated one, his lips constantly all over his back and his fingers splayed over his stomach. He’s about to ask the other to change the channel when the latter speaks up.
“Hyung,” he says, breath soft against Seokjin’s ear.
“Hmm?”
“The other day on the phone,” Seokjin’s body stiffens instantly at the mention of their said conversation.
“It’s okay, we don’t have to talk about that,”
Namjoon is quick to soothe his nerves, hand stroking his own and a kiss behind his ear, “No, we do, hear me out please,”
Seokjin sighs but doesn’t protest further.
“I didn’t mean to say we’re ‘whatever you want us to be’,” Namjoon says slowly, picking his words carefully as Yoongi had suggested because god knows he can’t afford to mess this up, “I want to say you’re my boyfriend, and I’m yours and we’re together, but-”
There’s a pause and Seokjin holds his breath, his heart already beating faster and louder against his ear drums.
“But I didn’t know if that’s what you wanted.”
“Wh-“
Namjoon gives seeokjin’s stomach a squeeze, “I know. I know it’s stupid and we’ve been seeing each other for six months almost but I’m not good at this. This relationship thing, I’ve dated like four people before and honestly none of them made me want to throw up with nervousness like you do and I definitely did not want someone as much as you,”
Seokjin wiggles himself out of Namjoon’s grip which was getting tighter with nervousness as he spoke and turned around to face him.
“You complete idiot,” Seokjin sighs under his breath, his hands coming up to cup the cheeks he loves so much, “Of course that’s what I want,” he says with a smile so soft it makes Namjoon smile.
He places a chaste kiss on the other’s nose, “I know you’re nervous about this,” another on his lips, “but so am I, that’s why you have to talk to me,”
Namjoon nods in understanding, cheeks flushing from the heat of Seokjin’s hands and the softness of his lips against his skin.
“Promise you’ll talk to me the next time you feel like this,” Seokjin says, his tone stern and eyes fixed on the younger, “Talking is the only way we’ll resolve anything,”
“I promise,” a smile plays on Namjoon’s lips, “Can I get a proper kiss now?”
Seokjin rolls his eyes, “You complete idiot,” but kisses the other with no less fervor than usual.
Namjoon is quick to wrap his hand around the elder again and pull him close, melting into the feeling of his lips against his own, returning the kiss with as much as emotion as he could muster.
“Thank you,” Seokjin says against his lips, “for taking care of me. And I’m sorry you had to do this during New Year’s,”
“I’d rather stay in bed and kiss you than get drunk and wake up with a head splitting headache,”
Seokjin dives in to capture his lips in his again, “I love you,”
“I love you too, Jinnie,”
Namjoon makes sure to hold Seokjin tight as they watch the fireworks blow up in the night sky on TV, the colors lighting up the dark night as people cheer from below and he couldn’t be happier. He pushes himself impossibly closer to the elder’s back and litters kisses all over his neck, thanking whatever entity that brought him to Namjoon because Seokjin gives him more butterflies in his stomach than spring to winter. He revels in the little giggles that leave the elder’s lips at the feeling on his lips, “Happy New Year, Jinnie,”
“Happy New Year to you too,” Seokjin says, bringing their intertwined hands up to his mouth and kissing the back of Namjoon’s.
Namjoon texts Yoongi once Seokjin is soundly sleeping, chest rising and falling peacefully under his hand, breathing even and peppermint tea long forgotten,
‘I didn’t fuck up.’