Chapter Text
Daniel can tell how on edge Max has been recently. He just wants to take Max away from it all. He wants to wrap Max in a bunch of blankets and tell him everything will be okay, be his shoulder to cry on. He wants to take Max home and take care of him until he's able to smile again, until Max no longer looks like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. He wants to see Max smile again and have it not be bittersweet.
Daniel takes him home to his farm after Australia. It wasn't the best weekend from Daniel's career either but it was worse for Max. He could see the panic in Max’s eyes, the tension in his shoulders. He knows Max always puts on a brave face in front of the media, but he also knows how much a DNF terrifies Max. Anything less than a grand slam isn't good enough for him, not even back when he was 17 and everyone said he was a kid. There was nothing Max could have done about today but that won't stop the fear and self-loathing from kicking in. Daniel knows him. Anything less than perfection makes Max spiral.
Daniel has a solution for that, one he hopes Max will like. He'll take Max to his farm, just like they talked about. It's the perfect distraction and Daniel gets to look after Max and make sure he's okay. He heads to Max’s driver room immediately after the race. Luckily Max is still there.
“Hi Daniel,” Max says sadly, his eyes are a little watery.
Daniel wraps Max into a hug, Max melts into it. Another sign of just how down he is feeling. Daniel knows he's one of the few people who get to see Max this way. Before the break up Kelly was included in that list, now it's just Daniel and Victoria.
“Hi, Max,” Daniel says gently, “I was thinking… Do you want to visit the farm with me? I wanted to head there in the morning. I think we both could use some time away from the circus.”
Max thinks about it for a moment, “If you don't mind having me there… I might not be very fun, you know.”
“That's okay, I want you there with me, Max,” Daniel says reassuringly. He rubs Max’s back a little. “I promised you I would take care of you, didn't I?”
“Then I'll come,” Max says, “I was just gonna go back to Monaco. It's not so fun, alone.”
Daniel can feel him shiver.
“We'll be each other's company,” Daniel says with a smile.
Max pulls away from the hug and returns Daniel's smile.
~~~
They take Max’s plane to Perth the next morning. Max had made the rearrangements to his travel plans while they were still at the track, almost like he was worried Daniel would change his mind if he didn't ask swiftly enough. Daniel doesn't know how to soothe that side of Max, how to reassure him properly. He knows it's nothing personal. Max doesn’t expect anyone to be reliable and want him long term. The worst part is that he'll blame himself whenever someone else lets him down. Max is outspoken about racing and anything that happens at work, he's surprisingly quiet when it comes to people hurting him outside of that.
“Thank you for inviting me,” Max says again, “I'm glad you really wanted to - I thought maybe this is just a joke for the interviewer. But of course you've asked before. It is nice.”
Daniel looks over at Max who is sitting in front of him - looking so small and tired - and reaches out. He gently places his hand on Max’s hand.
“Of course I want you there,” Daniel says. “The animals will like you and I like having you near me. I've always wanted to show you my home.”
Max’s cheeks flush pink. “I look forward to meeting your animals and seeing your home. Always I have thought this will be special.”
“I gotta warn you though,” Daniel says, “My internet speed is nothing like you are used to. It's stuck in the, like, early 2000s.”
“That is of course okay,” Max says, “I cannot sim race like this but I think you will just entertain me instead.”
“I will, Maxy,” Daniel smiles at him.
Max smiles back. He seems a bit happier already, like the simple promise of spending time with Daniel is enough to ease his worries.
The pilot announces they are landing soon. Daniel and Max put on their seatbelts. Everything goes smoothly.
Daniel's brother-in-law picks them up from the airport and drives them to Daniel's farm. Max is a little quiet during the ride but polite. His face lights up when they actually reach the farm.
Thomas parks the car and Daniel and Max thank him. After a bit of small talk Thomas heads off and Daniel and Max go inside with their baggage.
“Something to drink first and then a tour of the farm?” Daniel suggests.
Max nods. He sticks close to Daniel as they head into the kitchen.
“I asked Michelle to bring over some Red Bull for you,” Daniel says as he opens the fridge.
He grabs a can and hands it to Max. Their fingers brush. It makes Daniel feel warm despite the ice cold drink.
Max opens his can and gulps it down.
“Thirsty boy,” Daniel says, grinning.
Max giggles.
Daniel grabs something to drink for himself and hands Max another can. He figures Max will just burn off the energy walking around the farm.
Daniel takes Max to see the sheep first. Cara, the woman who looks after the farm when he's not there, greets them and answers all of Max’s questions.
After a while Max turns around to Daniel and asks, “Can I pet them?”
“Go ahead, Maxy,” Daniel says.
There is something so endearing about seeing Max get down on his knees and carefully pet an animal. Daniel takes a photo. He wants to hold on to this memory forever.
“Thank you for letting me pet you,” Max says to the sheep when he's done.
“The rabbits are very nice too,” Cara says, “In case you want more animals to pet.”
“Thank you,” Max says sweetly.
Cara smiles at them both and lets them get on their way.
“I would like to pet the rabbits,” Max says.
Daniel bumps their shoulders together. “Then we're going to pet some rabbits.”
They walk over to where the rabbits live and Daniel shows Max how to hold and pet one properly. Max is sweet with them, as expected, and talks to them in a soft voice.
It surprises Daniel when Max speaks up and his voice cracks a little, “There is this Dutch thing with a rabbit. My sister loved it but I wasn't allowed to… Dad didn't like it. I always wanted to enjoy the things Victoria did. There's books and plushies. Nijntje . I think she's called Miffy in English. But of course petting a real rabbit is very nice too.”
Daniel wants to reach out and ruffle Max’s hair but he worries Max will find it patronising. Instead he just shifts his body so their elbows touch.
“Miffy sounds very nice,” he tells Max, “I'm sorry you weren't allowed to have her. Rabbits are nice, aren't they?”
Max smiles, bright and almost childlike, “I like soft animals. Cats, dogs, rabbits, sheep.”
Daniel knows it's an honor to see this Max. Not for the first time he vows to be a safe haven for Max, for the boy who didn't get enough softness in his life. Max deserves it.
Max’s stomach rumbles. “I guess we should have lunch now,” he says a little reluctantly.
“We can go back to the rabbits tonight or tomorrow,” Daniel promises.
Max seems pleased with that. They put the rabbits back in their enclosure and head back to the house. Daniel heats up some tomato soup his mother put in his fridge, singing as he stands in front of the stove. After a while Max is humming along. A win, Daniel thinks.
They eat their soup on the couch and watch re-runs of some shitty television show Daniel has seen a dozen times. Max seems delighted by it, laughing at every joke.
“I can see how you developed your humor,” Max says, clearly going for teasing but also sounding too sincere at the same time.
Daniel flips him off and Max throws his head back laughing.
~~~
Their days in Australia are spend petting the animals, Max has completely fallen in love with them, and horsing around on the farm. Daniel makes sure all of Max’s needs are met and more. There are lots of cuddles, too. It's perfect.
On their last full day, they end the day by sitting on the porch and watching the sunset together. Max is holding one of the rabbits and petting it gently.
“It was really nice here,” Max says, “I, of course, would like to do this again sometime if you’ll let me.”
“Of course we'll do this again,” Daniel assures him. “I enjoyed it too. What was your favourite part?”
“I really liked the animals.” Max presses a kiss on top of the rabbits head. He mumbles, “And I liked you taking care of me.”
“I liked that too,” Daniel admits. “It makes me feel good to make you feel nice.”
Max bites his lip. “I really want someone to look after me a lot. I like feeling small and unbothered, knowing someone else knows what I need. Just being soft and young again. It's been very nice with you,” he says. “I need it so much. I just want to be a kid again and I want to play and be happy and be loved.”
Daniel finds himself tear up a little and Max’s eyes aren't dry either. “We'll make that happen, sweetheart.”
The pet name just slipped out. Daniel doesn't think Max minds.
After they return the rabbit to its enclosure, they head inside to cuddle on the couch. Daniel falls asleep with Max in his arms. He doesn’t know how yet but he'll give Max anything he wants and needs.
~~~
They've been back in Monaco for two days, each at their own apartment. Daniel can't stop thinking about what Max said, about wanting to feel small and taken care of. He knows how much his friend has been struggling and he just wants to make things better for him, a little easier. Max was so brave to admit what went wrong in his relationship with Kelly and so brave to admit what he actually needs… Daniel owes it to him to help him. Surely there has to be something out there that's exactly what Max craves.
He starts googling for ways to take care of Max. Google is a man's best friend if you ask Daniel. The first few results he gets are a bit sketchy and far too sexual for Max (which is the opposite of what he needs) so Daniel adjusts his wording a little bit and continues his search. Nothing good comes up for a while, nothing that is right for Max. Then Daniel suddenly remembers Max said he wanted to feel small, like a kid, at the farm. It wasn't the only time he had said it. Daniel starts looking specifically for that. First he finds a bunch of blogs about inner child therapy. He shakes his head. There's no way he'll convince Max to do therapy and Max might just shut him out completely if he even suggests it. No, Daniel won't risk that. He's here to help Max in a way that fits him. He does save the information for later, just in case it ever comes up. He wants to meet all of Max’s needs. Daniel continues his search. He finally finds a blog post about age regression after tweaking his search terms a few more times. He reads through it carefully. This, he thinks, is pretty much what Max asked for. Feeling small and being loved by a caregiver, having someone look after him, doing fun activities together and being soft together. It's what Daniel wants as well. He didn't know this was a possibility but it's simply perfect. He enjoys looking after Max so much… It fulfills a need he didn't even know he had until Max decided to trust him. He hopes Max will let Daniel be his caregiver. He's already dreaming about things to do with little Max. It's too much, given that he hasn't even told Max yet, but he wants it so badly. Max would be such a cute little.
Daniel looks through the information he just found again and checks out a few more blogs on the subject. Yes, Daniel thinks, age regression is truly perfect for Max. It ticks all the boxes of the things Max said he’s craving.
Now that he has found the appropriate term, the rest of Daniel's search is much easier. Age regression is a way for people to be small again, to redo their childhoods and create happy, positive memories. Max wants to be a happier child than he was when he was actually a little kid. Daniel has met Jos (far too often for his liking), he can imagine just how unhappy Max’s childhood was. Especially given the details Max has shared, not even understanding how messed up they were, not getting why they made Daniel’s heart break. A happier, better childhood… Daniel can give Max that. If Max will let him. He desperately hopes Max will let him. The idea of not doing it is terrifying now. He knows he can’t push, though. This is about Max and his needs. Not about Daniel.
That night he does some more research because he wants to know as much as possible when he shares this with Max. He knows Max will have a ton of questions and Daniel will be ready to answer every single one of them. This is about Max and his comfort. Daniel can give him what he needs. Max deserves it. He deserves to be taken care of and loved.
~~~
Daniel asks Max if he can come over to his apartment. Max protests a little, saying he doesn’t have any food or drinks and he will be a bad host. Kelly used to take care of the shopping, Max admits. He's not very good at taking care of it himself.
“I'll bring something from my place and we can set up a food service while I'm there,” Daniel says, “I'm not good at it either so I use a subscription service now that Michael doesn't handle my food anymore.”
“They have those?” Max asks. “I was a bit embarrassed so I didn't ask Rupert. Brad never used to do my food, he just told Kelly what was okay for me to eat.”
“We'll figure it out, no worries, I'll bring the details of my service,” Daniel says.
“Okay,” Max says. He pauses for a moment. “I would like you to come over actually.”
“I'll be there in 10 minutes,” Daniel promises.
He's already putting on his shoes and grabbing his phone and wallet. He wants to get to Max as quickly as possible. He's eager to see Max again and just as eager to share what he found with Max. This can be so good for both of them. Daniel hopes Max thinks so too.
Just before he rushes out the door, he grabs the business card of his food service. That’ll help Max too.
He walks upstairs to Max’s apartment and rings the doorbell. Max opens the door and greets Daniel with a quick hug, Daniel barely has time to put the food down. Max lets go of him again fast, though, much to Daniel's regret. Max looks like he hasn't slept since they last saw each other and Daniel is immediately worried.
“Max,” he says softly.
“It's just a lot, you know,” Max says, clearly already knowing what Daniel is getting at, “I was okay with you at the farm but here it's… it's not good. Too quiet and lonely.” He wraps his arms around his body.
“You should have called me,” Daniel says, “I would have come over sooner.”
Max smiles weakly. “I didn't want to bother you and ask too much. I don't want to drive you away.”
“Come here,” Daniel says, opening up his arms to hug Max again. Max goes into his arms easily and Daniel holds him tightly. “You couldn't bother me. I like taking care of you and you are my friend. I'm here for you, always. In fact, I have a suggestion that might help.”
“Really?” Max checks.
“Really,” Daniel says.
Max makes no move to let go of Daniel now that he's back in his arms and Daniel is content to let him stay there for a while longer. He kicks the door closed behind him and just keeps holding Max. They've got time.
“Do you want to discuss my idea somewhere comfortable?” Daniel asks after some time.
“That would be good,” Max says.
He allows Daniel to guide him to the couch and they sit down together. Max sits close to Daniel. Each time he has Daniel's permission to be close he just clings on. Daniel doesn't mind. Not one bit. He's glad Max is taking whatever comfort he can. He clearly needs it.
“So what do you want to talk about?” Max asks nervously. “I of course know I can be a lot and I really don't want to bother you so much. It's just… You are the only one who knows what I get like. And what happened with Kelly.”
Daniel wraps an arm around Max’s shoulders. “You are not a lot. Not to me. And you aren't bothering me. I'm glad you trust me the way you do, Max. I know that's not easy for you.” He studies Max’s face to see if Max accepts Daniel's words - he seems to be doing so reluctantly. “Remember what you said after the break-up and at the farm?”
Max nods quickly. His face is bright red.
“I couldn't stop thinking about that, so I did some research. You can absolutely say no to what I want to suggest and you don't have to decide immediately. You don't have to do it with me either. Okay?” Daniel says.
Max nods again.
“There is no science to turn you physically back into a kid and I think that's not what you meant either,” Daniel says, glancing at Max. Max nods, but barely. “But there are ways to be small again and make happy childhood memories and have someone look after you.”
“There are?” Max sounds so hopeful it makes Daniel's heart ache.
“It's called age play and you could be a little and have a caregiver,” Daniel explains, “You would go into a younger headspace and your caregiver, me if you'll allow me, can look after you. You can choose an age you want and it doesn't have to be the same all the time either. We can figure that out together. As well as anything you'd like or not when you are little. If… If you want to, of course.”
Max lets out a sob. “I want that so much.”
Daniel pulls him into another hug. “You can have it, sweetheart.”
He lets Max cry into his chest and just rubs his back until his breathing evens out again.
“But would you get something out of it?” Max asks worriedly.
“I never feel better than when I'm looking after you, even as an adult,” Daniel says, “And when I was researching this… It's a need for me, too, I think. And I'd love to be your caregiver.”
“Then I want this with you,” Max says decisively.
They discuss some more details such as things they can do while Max is little, which age seems most interesting to him, how to make this work with their busy schedules, and what he wants to call Daniel when he's little. After that Daniel helps Max set up his meal service and they eat dinner. Daniel makes sure to order some groceries, too. He wants Max to have enough food and drinks for at least a few days.
“Do you want me to stay tonight or will you be okay alone?” Daniel asks after they've finished dinner and he's helped Max do his dishes.
Max hesitates. “Can you stay?”
“Of course,” Daniel says easily. “Thank you for telling me.”
“And could you cuddle me to sleep?” Max asks. He immediately hides his face.
“I'd love to cuddle with you,” Daniel says.
It's amazing to fall asleep with Max in his arms again.
The next day they discuss age regression more and Daniel orders way too many things for Max. He wants only the best for his boy.
~~~
A week or so later the day they have dubbed “Little Day” is finally here. Daniel arrives at Max’s apartment with a bag full of gifts. Anything that should help Max settle and slip into little space. Daniel can tell Max is still a little hesitant about it, scared to indulge and give himself what he really wants. From what Daniel can tell Max never had much comfort growing up. He was never allowed to be soft. He did not receive such kindness. It breaks Daniel’s heart. It's hard knowing how badly Max craves this and knowing Max thinks it will be taken away from him again at any moment. Daniel will never do that to him. Not unless Max tells him to go.
“So what now?” Max asks after he has led Daniel into his living room.
“I thought I could show you some of your gifts first and then we can settle you into your headspace,” Daniel says. He adds, “And remember, no pressure. If it doesn’t happen immediately, we will try again.”
“Okay,” Max says. He slowly reaches out to the bag Daniel brought. “Can I pick some?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Daniel says.
Max reaches out to grab the first gift-wrapped item. It’s the one Daniel hoped he would go for. His very first plushie. Daniel hopes he got this right, that this is what Max wants.
Max carefully unwraps it and then cries out excitedly, “You got me Miffy!” He flings himself into Daniel’s lap.
“I take it you like her?” Daniel smiles.
Max rubs Miffy against his face. “I love her so much. She is so soft and pretty. Wow, Daniel.”
“I was hoping you’d like her, you said how much you wanted her as a kid,” Daniel says.
“And you remembered,” Max responds, his voice full of wonder. “Thank you, Daniel. And you got me a bag full of stuff. That is, of course, too much. Always you are spoiling me.”
“I love spoiling you, sweetheart, you deserve it,” Daniel says, “And I had to get only good things for my baby boy.”
“Wow,” Max whispers.
Any apprehension he had before, seems to have faded completely. Daniel is glad. He wants Max to enjoy this. He wants Max to feel good.
Max opens three more packages, pajamas with race cars, a binkie with Miffy on it, and some brightly coloured building blocks.
“Do you want to get changed into your pajamas and play now?” Daniel asks gently.
Max nods with a sweet smile. He shyly asks Daniel to help him get changed, saying it will help with his headspace.
“Do you want a diaper?” Daniel asks. “You don’t have to, but I bought them just in case.”
Max thinks about it for a moment. “That would be good. I would be very upset if I had an accident or something and I don’t know how much control I will have yet.”
“Then we will do that sweetheart,” Daniel says easily, glad Max is comfortable enough around him to do this.
He helps Max into a diaper and into his pajamas. Then he heads into the kitchen and quickly washes the binkie before heading back to Max and giving it to him. Max sucks on it experimentally and smiles.
“I like it,” Max admits.
“I’m glad,” Daniel says.
“I think I may already be close to a headspace… I’ve needed this I think,” Max says.
“That’s alright, Daddy will look after you,” Daniel promises.
It seems that’s what does it. Daniel can see the shift in Max immediately. He looks softer, opener, and most importantly calmer.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Daniel says.
“Daddy hug,” Maxy says, his voice slightly muffled by his binkie.
Daniel opens his arms and gives Maxy a big bear hug.
“Maxy have Miffy,” Maxy says, “Maxy love Miffy and Daddy.”
“Daddy loves his Maxy, too,” Daniel says. He presses a kiss into Maxy’s hair and Maxy giggles.
“Play blocks?” Maxy asks.
“Of course we can play with your blocks, we’ll have so much fun,” Daniel says.
He sits down on the floor with Maxy. Maxy keeps Miffy in his lap, clearly already in love with his plushie and wanting her to have a front row seat to all the fun. Maxy asks Daniel to show him how to build first and Daniel does, explaining everything as he goes.
“Daddy make a big tower,” Maxy says excitedly. He claps his hands together. “Maxy make one too?”
“Maxy can make a tower, too,” Daniel encourages.
Maxy shrieks with excitement and flaps his hands. Then he carefully starts stacking some blocks on top of each other. He has much less coordination than he does as an adult and Daniel has to help to make sure the tower doesn’t fall over - he has a feeling it will end in tears if his tower falls. It’s so good to see Maxy feel free and excited. Daniel rarely sees this kind of joy in adult Max anymore. He’d known of course that Max was struggling but this proved just how bad things had gotten. He is relieved the age play is working out, that it’s bringing Max what Daniel hoped it would. A chance to finally be carefree and happy.
They play with the blocks for ages, building and rebuilding towers over and over. After a while, Daniel decides it’s time for food. He has made something easy, something that goes with adult Max’s diet but is still fun for a kid to eat - he hopes at least. He made pasta with fun shapes.
He puts Maxy down on a chair in the kitchen and puts a bib around him. Then he places the pasta in front of Maxy and sits down next to him.
“Daddy!” Maxy says happily, “My pasta looks like rockets and stars!”
Daniel grins. “Wow!” he says in an exaggerated voice.
Maxy feeds himself messily. Daniel makes sure to not point it out. Adult Max hates messes and he doesn’t want to make Maxy panic in case it’s something that makes him uncomfortable as well. To Daniel all messes can just be cleaned up later. Most of the mess is going straight on the bib and the table anyway, all easily tidied up after the fact.
Once Maxy is finished Daniel grabs a wet wipe and cleans the mess on Maxy’s hands and face. Maxy makes a disgruntled face. It’s adorable. His little grumpy boy.
“I know baby, that’s not a nice feeling, is it?” Daniel says.
“Yucky, Daddy,” Maxy says.
“Very yucky,” Daniel agrees. “Daddy will be quick okay.”
He makes sure he’s extra quick. He wants Maxy clean but he doesn’t want to make things unpleasant for him. He makes sure Maxy’s hands and face are properly clean and takes off the bib. He wipes down the table quickly too and then smiles at Maxy.
“All clean, sweetheart,” Daniel says. “Do you want to play some more?”
“Blocks with Miffy, please,” Maxy says.
“Alright, sweetheart, let’s do that!”
They head into the living room again and sit down to play with the blocks again. Miffy is back safely in Maxy’s lap. He starts to tell her what he’s doing with the blocks, making excited noises while he does. Daniel’s heart is so full of love for Max and his little self already. That’s his boy.
They play until Maxy starts rubbing his eyes.
“Are you sleepy, sweetheart?” Daniel asks.
“Yes, Daddy,” Maxy says. “Daddy stay?”
“Of course Daddy will stay with you, baby boy,” Daniel says, lowkey horrified that Maxy thinks he’d be left alone when he is this small and vulnerable. Daniel can’t show it but he wants to fight Jos yet again. Those feelings clearly came from somewhere and Jos seems like the most likely culprit. Daniel will never do that to Maxy. Never.
“Let’s go potty and get you into bed,” Daniel says.
“Okay,” Maxy says easily. He clutches Miffy against his chest. “I bring Miffy?”
“You can bring Miffy, I think she will like sleeping with you,” Daniel answers.
“I like Miffy too,” Maxy says.
They go about a bathroom routine quickly. Daniel lets Maxy go potty and puts on a fresh diaper. Maxy hadn’t used it yet but Daniel wants to make sure he has a good one in case he stays little through the night. Then he brushes Maxy’s teeth and his own - luckily he already had a spare toothbrush here from shared nights out.
Then he takes Maxy into his bedroom and puts him in bed. Maxy demands that Daniel goes into bed with him and sleeps with him. They hadn’t really discussed this as adults - and Daniel will definitely debrief about this with adult Max later - but he thinks it will be okay. They’ve fallen asleep cuddling before and Daniel doesn’t want to deny Maxy anything. He wants his sweet boy to have everything he wants. Adult Max was right, Daniel is going to spoil Max.
Daniel falls asleep with Maxy in his arms and Miffy crushed against his face. This is the good life.