Chapter Text
Per tradition on set, Yamato and his fellow cast members go drinking after the filming of a major episode.
Despite his knowledge that he has a busy schedule, Yamato downs beers until the table is filled with solely his glasses.
"Dude, you look so shitfaced right now. Are you SURE you can make it home?", one of the members asks, but Yamato waves him off with a shaky hand.
"I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself. Catch you guys on the flip side.", he says, taking a wobbly walk to the door of the bar.
"So...if home is this way, then...excuse me, can you help me find directions?", he asks a passerby.
His vision is so blurred, that he doesn't even make eye contact with the bearded man who he speaks to. The man doesn't reply
because it's a raccoon. Standing atop a trash can like the ruler of the jungle, the raccoon stares into Yamato's eyes.
"Hmm, hmm, I see. So this way, huh? Come with me, I'll get you a drink for the help.", Yamato says, and he wraps his arm around the raccoon and drags it along with him.
The poor creature clings to his bicep the whole ten minute walk home, and despite its squirming, Yamato is so drunk that he hardly feels a thing.
When they arrive at the dorm, it's the shockingly early hour of 9:30pm, and Yamato simply slumps against the door instead of knocking.
Mitsuki, ever too familiar with this routine, opens the door and hauls Yamato in before someone takes a photo.
In his clumsiness, Yamato releases the raccoon, and it's quick to scurry away from his grasp.
"AUGH! What is that, Yamato?", Mitsuki shrieks, pointing at the raccoon.
"The bearded man...he gave me directions.", Yamato hazily replies.
The other members flock over, and make a small crowd near the entrance of the kitchen.
"It's a fat little raccoon!", Tamaki gleefully shouts, and he runs to pick up the raccoon.
The law of the jungle flashes through the critter's eyes: eat or be eaten.
It scurries away, hauling ass towards Riku with a predatory look in its eyes.
"I-IT'S COMING TO GET ME!!!", Riku screams, running towards the living room. Sogo attempts to jump in the path of the raccoon, but Iori shares the same thought, and the two men collide and collapse.
Meanwhile, the raccoon steps over them, as does Tamaki, and they make their way into the living room.
"MITSUKI!!!", Riku shrieks, crawling atop a table to keep it away. The action proves futile, as the raccoon hops onto the couch and dives towards the table.
The raccoon clings to Riku's leg, and in his fear, Riku stumbles off the table onto the couch. Tamaki, who had taken to watching Riku instead of catching the raccoon, becomes Riku's brace as he falls on top of him.
Prior to that day, nobody in Riku's life had ever heard him release the guttural scream that left his throat as the raccoon's hands skimmed the exposed part of his calf near the bottom of his pant leg.
Mitsuki, having finally gotten Yamato into his room, grabs the raccoon and shakes it. The creature shrieks, and Mitsuki releases it on the doorstep which it entered.
He turns around, and sees the chaotic sight before him.
In the silence, he can hear the Magical Girl☆Cocona theme song playing from Nagi's room, who was oblivious of the entire situation.
Yamato loudly snores in his room.
Iori and Sogo lay in the entryway to the kitchen, clutching their sore skulls.
Tamaki holds Riku, who has a fear stricken look on his face.
Many pieces of furniture and decor are out of place, carelessly tossed away in the anarchy.
Mitsuki heaves a deep sigh.
"NIKAIDO YAMATO!!!"