Chapter Text
For years now, Jimin has known himself to be in love with his best friend, Yoongi. He can't pinpoint the exact moment it happened; when had Yoongi's voice started to make him feel a rush of blood to his cheeks, and the thought of his lips made Jimin's brow sweat? When did he start comparing every man's character to Yoongi's? When did he start to deem them all inferior in kindness and selflessness?
He doesn't know when it all started, but he knows it's never going to end.
Jimin knows he doesn't deserve Yoongi's unwavering friendship. After almost ten years, Yoongi proved himself to be the most devoted friend Jimin has ever had, a happy companion for society's dullest events, a trustful listener who'd never place ill judgment, and a shoulder to cry on when Jimin's quarrels with his mother leave him in tears. He felt like a traitor when he realized he didn't reciprocate the same platonic feelings Yoongi had for him.
Jimin has stoically heard and given advice to Yoongi about fleeting infatuations and flings in both good society and his various travels abroad. His good looks and wealth make him a very desirable candidate in the eyes of eager parents trying to secure a favorable marriage for their sons and daughters. But, without the burden and responsibilities of being the firstborn, Yoongi has certainly enjoyed being a bachelor and has clearly stated he is in no rush to change his marital status.
"They get more eager each season, I swear." Yoongi had told Jimin at a ball last season, after freeing himself of an almost rude mother trying too hard to get him to dance with her daughter a second time.
"Well, hyung," said Jimin, passing him a glass of lemonade with a smirk on his lips. "What did you expect? Seokjin-hyung is no longer available, so they will go after the second-best Min." They both laughed.
Throughout the years, Jimin learned to conceal his feelings, content with simply being a part of Yoongi's life and loving him in secret. He told himself it would be enough. He didn't need a spouse; he was secure as his family had a small fortune of their own, and he certainly didn't want to love another, so why try? Sure, he didn't share Yoongi's love for travel, but they wrote to each other pretty frequently when Yoongi was away, and Jimin wasn't completely alone; he had his older brother Namjoon by his side at almost all times. He had everything under control.
Then came Taehyung.
Last winter, over the course of a few weeks, his brother met, fell in love with, and married Kim Taehyung.
But don't get him wrong, Taehyung has been a very amiable, polite, and thoughtful person since the very beginning. Jimin felt as if Taehyung was a missing piece in their family, with his witty remarks and boxy smile. And to be honest, Jimin could never dislike someone who made his dearest brother as happy as he knows Taehyung does.
The Park estate had belonged to Namjoon ever since their father's death ten years prior, and he assured Jimin multiple times he would always provide for him and keep their family home. But Namjoon's new husband was also an heir, so the newlyweds decided to move to Taehyung's estate, away from London society. This left Jimin as the only companion to his mother, whom he deeply loves but cannot stand.
Jimin's mother had refused to leave London after Namjoon and Taehyung offered her to go live with them, and with her golden child gone, she had become even more judgmental of Jimin and his life. She had also gotten more involved in the kind of salacious gossip Jimin hates. So, after half a year of living alone with his mother, Jimin was sure he couldn't brave the other half alone.
After a particularly heated argument with his mother about his eating habits, Jimin resolved that finding a husband would be a practical solution to his problems, giving him some freedom from the expectations he carries as his mother's last unmarried child. Solitude also made him realize he really needs to move on; perhaps he can still have some kind of romantic love in his life. Maybe, with time, he can fall in love again, and maybe his future husband can reciprocate his feelings. Since it's impossible to hide his plans from his closest friend, he asks Yoongi for help in the matter.
"I just don't think I can do it alone, hyung," he tells Yoongi as they walk the park one morning. "And you get along well with so many potential candidates, you can help me pick the best one for me." Jimin looks down at his hands, cheeks blushing, he obviously isn't used to talking about his romantic endeavors with Yoongi.
"Oh, no one knows you better than I do, Jimin-ah, I'll help." Yoongi places his hands on Jimin's shoulder reassuringly. "We have to make sure you don't pick the first willing man you deem fit. This may be a practical arrangement, but it's marriage we're talking about. It's forever." Yoongi sounds enthusiastic, but Jimin feels his stomach drop at his words. Forever.
Yoongi immediately caught on to Jimin's thoughts, grabbing his right hand in an attempt to calm him down. "Don't worry, we will choose correctly."
Even though seeing how willing his friend is to help him find a match breaks his heart a little, nothing could prepare Jimin to find out just how vile society can be.
.⁺ . 🪷 . ⁺ .
Tonight's ball starts surprisingly well. Jimin's mother finds her gossiping friends quite early in the evening, and Yoongi arrives shortly after, so they get on with their plan. Jimin took extra care of his looks for tonight, wearing his favorite set of emerald earrings that complimented his deep green cravat. Jimin knows he's handsome, and when it seems that Yoongi's eyes linger for a few seconds on his flush lips, he reminds himself of their goal.
The night is pleasant. Yoongi introduces Jimin to a couple elegible young men, and they chat amiably for a few minutes. Later, they find their friend Hoseok, and after a while, Yoongi insists that he and Jimin have to dance together at least once. "You two are such good dancers!" He encourages them. "And it will help you show your dancing skills, Jimin-ah." Yoongi whispers in Jimin's ear.
After their dance, Hoseok gives Jimin a bright smile. "Thank you, hyung. I'll be back soon, I need to get some fresh air." Jimin tells him and starts heading to the garden. He always gets a little flustered at balls around this time, the sound of people chatting loudly combined with the music makes his senses buzz uncomfortably. Nothing a few minutes outside can't cure.
He's standing next to a potted tree for around five minutes when he hears steps getting closer from inside. "Have you heard about Park Jimin's pathetic efforts to find a husband this season?". Two young men are talking a few feet away from him, drinks in hand, and evidently not aware of his presence. "I was told he is so jealous of his older brother's nuptials last year that he desperately wants to marry too. He even enlisted Min Yoongi's help!". The same young man says. Jimin's hands start to tremble, and he feels the prick of tears in his eyes.
"Oh no, so that's why he's been so chatty tonight?" Jimin recognizes the second voice. "Min introduced him to me tonight." Jimin's face grows hot from shame. "God! Be careful, next thing you know, you'll be engaged to that needy thing!" They both laugh, and Jimin feels like puking. He can't stay here anymore. He walks inside quickly, alerting both men to his presence. But he doesn't care; he has to get out of there.
As soon as he's inside, he can clearly hear the whispers and laughs aimed at him, gossip travels fast, and society is always eager. He swears he sees a few fingers pointing at him on his way to the main door, but he will not dignify anyone with a reaction, at least not a public one. He hails a carriage, and finally allows himself to cry his heart out when he's inside.
.⁺ . 🪷 . ⁺ .
It's almost midnight, and Jimin hasn't come out of his room since he arrived after escaping the ball. He knows he can't escape his mother's remarks, but he can delay them until tomorrow. He stopped crying a few hours ago and is now sitting on his windowsill, wondering how he could be so stupid. Oh, what was he thinking when he asked for Yoongi's help in finding a husband?
How could Yoongi share this with anyone? No one knew about their agreement, so the rumor had to have come from him somehow. His head throbbed, but he couldn't stop thinking about everything. Then someone knocked at his door.
"Lord Jimin, someone's here to see you." His maid told him, and he knew immediately who it was.
Yoongi is sitting at the bench in Jimin's garden, looking mortified, and the younger man fights the urge to hide in his room again. "What are you doing here, hyung?" His voice is raspy, and Yoongi gets up. "Jimin, I'm so sorry." And as Yoongi tries to get closer, Jimin steps back, hurt visible in the elder's eyes.
"Jimin-ah, please let me explain." Yoongi pleads. "I found Seokjin when you were dancing with Hoseok; I told him about it, and someone must have overheard us. I wasn't careful enough, and I'm truly sorry." Yoongi's voice is sincere, and Jimin feels like the worst man alive. Yoongi would never betray his trust willingly.
"It's okay, hyung." Jimin takes a seat, defeated. "This was my fault after all- my own stupid idea."
"You don't deserve this, Jimin-ah." Yoongi joins him. Jimin feels tears starting to fall again, wetting his cheeks. It's all over, isn't it? Not even the most wanted bachelor could survive a ruined reputation, who would marry him now?
Moments went by, with Jimin crying in silence and Yoongi keeping him company.
"Can- can I ask for a favor, hyung?" Jimin says quietly, not daring to meet Yoongi's eyes. "Of course you can, Jimin-ah. Anything." Yoongi reassures him.
Jimin lifts his gaze. "Can you kiss me?" He tries to sound confident in his request, but he can't be sure he succeeds.
"Y- You want me to kiss you?" Yoongi says, eyes wide and voice loud in disbelief. "Please, Yoongi. Please, don't make me beg." Jimin knows just how pathetic this must seem to Yoongi, his eyes filled with tears and his voice trembling, but after tonight's fiasco, he truly can't bring himself to care. He needs something to go his way, and if he can't find a husband, he will get closure.
"Jiminie, I can't-" Yoongi shakes his head lightly. "It won't mean anything." Jimin insists, his gaze goes down to his shaking hands.
"I will never get married, not after tonight." He sniffles. "I can't die without knowing what it feels like to be kissed." To be kissed by you, are the words trapped in his mind.
Yoongi reaches for Jimin's hands, holding them on his own. "You deserve so much better." Jimin lifts his head and finds Yoongi's soft eyes. He almost takes everything back, but Yoongi came to see him so late at night, most certainly bribing his maid to console him.
The elder has moved a little closer to him on the bench where they are sitting. "hyung, please." He pleads. He can feel the tension between them, their eyes wandering to each other's lips. Yoongi moves his hand to Jimin's cheek as the distance between them gets shorter. Jimin closes his eyes and leans in.
It's soft.
Their lips touch briefly, and it's so soft. Jimin can feel Yoongi's warm breath on his skin as he pulls back from the kiss. It lasted only a moment, but Jimin swears he could live his entire life inside those few seconds, feeling nothing but his mouth pressed to Yoongi's.
His heart skips a beat when the elder opens his eyes, a pink blush on his face as his thumb slowly caresses Jimin's cheek. They look at each other, and the need for words and explanations vanishes as they lean in again, kissing slowly as Yoongi moves his other hand to cup Jimin's face.
Jimin is gripping Yoongi's shirt, pulling him closer. He feels Yoongi tilt his head slightly, deepening the kiss. Jimin feels his stomach squirming with butterflies as every rational thought in his mind floats away, even the one asking why. Why is Yoongi kissing him back? Can he dare to hope?
They kiss until the need for air makes them pull away, panting heavily. "Jiminie- I-" And it's like Yoongi's voice puts an end to the spell because Jimin suddenly feels the weight of what they've done.
What has he done?
He quickly gets up, looking at his shoes as he speaks. "Thank you, hyung." And with that, he abruptly walks out of the garden, leaving Yoongi behind.