Chapter Text
“You always walk me home!”
“It’s a matter of safety,” Yamato had said calmly. Sakura sighed loudly.
“No one else’s parents walk them home,” she groaned. Though the sentiment made Yamato’s heart beat irregular, the matter of her safety remained. He couldn’t allow Sakura to just walk home unattended, and he couldn’t ask Kakashi-senpai or Iruka to tail her when it was his responsibility. Her punishment may have been done with, but there were still rules for her to follow–
“Do we have to do it every single day? Sometimes, Ino’s dad lets her go to the snack shop down by the Uchiha district, on the way home! And I reeeeaaaally wanna go with her. Please say I can?”
Ah-ha! Sakura wasn’t trying to be defiant for the sake of testing his authority. She was trying to hang out with a friend. His suspicions remained, but Yamato conceded. Iruka had taught him to lose a few battles.
'It's just one afternoon's walk home.' What could go wrong?
"Well, I suppose there's no harm in getting a snack before coming home." He smiled as Sakura’s bright green eyes lit up. “Dinner is at six thirty. Be back before seven!”
“I will! Thank you!” Sakura exclaimed in a rush, throwing herself around Yamato’s center in a hug. “Thank you!”
He felt warmth fill him up from where Sakura’s arms wrapped snugly around him. Both his arms settled around her and he returned the hug with a squeeze that made Sakura laugh.
“Hey! You’re squishing me!”
Yamato squeezed just a little more with a grin. Sakura laughed harder, disappearing in a puff of smoke, and he found himself holding a log.
"The Substitution Jutsu. She's learning so quickly," Yamato thought fondly and a bit proudly.
He looked around for where she had swapped off to, but her footsteps gave her away. She was heading out the door to school.
“Have a great day, Sakura!”
“You too!”
The door shut. Yamato felt more at ease than he had in weeks. Simple, pure joy rose in his chest. He knew he should stifle such petty emotions, yet made no such effort to do so.
But now was not the time to ruminate. Today was ANBU patrol duty and so very much unlike his senior, Tenzou did not like testing the patience of his team by arriving late to the preliminary duty meeting. Disappearing into his own cloud of smoke, he left the house (just a house, not a home) behind.
~ ~ ~
The school bell rang. Sakura pumped a fist in the air.
“Finally! Gosh, that day went on forever!”
“I know. I wish we didn’t have to go to school and we could just do whatever we wanted all day long! What would you do?”
“I’d hang out with you,” Sakura said without pausing for breath. Ino grinned so wide it stretched ear to ear.
“I would, too! You’re my best friend, Sakura!”
The feeling Sakura got from Ino’s confession made her entire being light up. It felt like something wonderful and bubbly rushed up her skin! It tickled, and Sakura laughed and took off running. Ino gave chase right away.
“I’ll beat you! I’m faster!”
“No, I am!”
“Can’t catch me!”
“Eat my dirt, Billboard Brow!”
It was just after the Academy let out so the streets were crowded. Families, villagers and shinobi alike filled the roads. Sakura and Ino tried to keep from bumping into anyone, laughing and chasing after each other. Someone inevitably stepped into their path but both girls skirted around them skillfully; the close encounter still made the passer-by bristle.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going!”
“You watch out!” Ino said, barely pausing to stick out her tongue before barreling down the street.
She had to catch up! Sakura began forming the hand signs to practice the steps that would let her body-flicker. She knew using chakra outside of school would be dangerous with so many villagers around, plus she was still learning, but… it was tempting. She would have to try it out later with Kakashi to help her. Yamato would just go on about how she needed to wait until she was in the right classes in the Academy or training under a Jounin sensei, but Kakashi would often feed her tidbits when he knew Yamato wasn’t listening.
Sakura was already figuring out what to bribe the silver-haired man with when she heard a rattling hissss.
The sound caught her off guard. She stopped running and turned to listen. It came again, from down an alleyway.
That noise... it could only be one thing.
She stepped into the alley, green eyes looking around. There was no sign of anything moving, but Sakura knew snakes liked to lie in plain sight, hiding, waiting for the right moment to strike.
Unease settled in her stomach.
Something about this was familiar, drawing her in. Even though she knew Yamato would tell her to just turn around, even though she should catch up to Ino, it compelled Sakura to seek the source of the sound. Her emerald gaze scouted high and low for a sign. The sounds of the busy street behind her seemed to fade into silence. Her own heartbeat pounded in her ears as she listened intently.
She scoured the alley for clues. Between one blink and the next, she was no longer alone.
Sakura’s breath caught in her throat as her body moved automatically, reaching out of instinct, and for the spot at her back where a weapon would be–except her hand closed around nothing.
“Nice to see your reflexes are sharp as ever,” said the stranger before her.
Surprised, and curious, and unsure if she should show it, Sakura steeled her lower lip into a scowl and she planted a foot in the ground firmly, fixing her green eyes on the figure before her. It was a man, but it had to be a ninja, with how quickly he materialized before her. He wore dark colors, grays and ashen lavender, half blended into the alleyway walls where he stood perfectly still. Sakura could make out no ninja headband visible but there was a black weapons pouch strapped to his right thigh–she was assuming it was a man, by his tenor and stance, but she had to prepare for anything.
But nothing could have prepared her for the man’s next words.
“Think you’re about done pretending. Ready to get back to your real parents?”
Sakura frowned before stiffening her lip. No. She wouldn’t let some stranger, no matter how bizarre, try to lead her away…
Real parents.
She hesitated.
“You can’t pretend forever. Remember. You’re not their child. You’re just a mission to them.”
He was right. Sakura was Yamato’s mission…
She thought back to the very first night she met Yamato; that cold, damp cell and itchy sweat suit that had replaced the rain-soaked kimono she was wearing. She was no one to him until they assigned her to him. Every memory after was full of smiling brown eyes. Every day had its struggles but they came with feelings of safety, of security and belonging. Kind words. Cups of warm tea. The sound of pages turning. Pictures on the wall that she’d drawn. All the pieces of her time together with this man brought heat to her face, and when her vision began to blur Sakura realized she couldn’t afford to cry, not with this stranger and his strange words, trying to throw off her guard.
Sakura’s apprehensions vanished under a surge of confidence. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Yamato wasn’t pretending with her. The tree house bed, the visits to the library, the dinners they cooked, the lessons they shared. He didn’t have to do any of those things if she was just a babysitting mission, yet he did. Yamato didn’t have to say that her smile was something that made him smile, too: Sakura knew it, because she saw it every day.
She looked up at the stranger with a scoff. “So what if he’s not my real dad? My real parents didn’t want me. That’s why I’m with him, right?”
Even if she did have other parents, they threw her away, didn’t they? Why else was she here with Yamato? Sakura couldn’t pick strangers she didn't even remember over her guardians, the ones who made her time in Konoha feel less like a hostage situation and more like a loving home. How could she abandon Yamato? Or Iruka-sensei, Ino, Naruto, even dumb Kakashi?! She wouldn’t leave them behind! Not now, not ever!
Sakura turned around to walk out of the alley. “If they didn’t want me, then I don’t need them.”
She was steps away from the main road when a snake darted out in front of her.
Sakura took one step backwards to avoid stepping on it, but her foot never landed, and the world went dark in a lavender blur.
~ ~ ~
There was something nice about going back to their place after patrol. Yamato knew he shouldn’t call it that, since it was all temporary, but he found himself thinking more and more that, perhaps, after this mission, he could… request… a residence similar to this one. Yeah. Perhaps, after, when Sakura’s situation was sorted and she could return home, then Yamato could have this one again…
But the more he considered the idea, the less he liked it. Coming back to a house without Sakura? Without those clever green eyes shining, smiling up at him, ready to share parts of her day or bits of her book with him? Could he really call such a place home without her?
It surprised Yamato just how strong his own reaction was to some stray thoughts. He laughed a little, shaking his head. “I’ve got to get a little more sleep,” he mused aloud, as though saying it might validate his excuse for such outlandish behavior. It wasn’t a behavior he had adopted previously. Sakura’s tendency to speak aloud was slowly rubbing off on him.
Yamato felt glum. To think that those tendencies might disappear when she did…
The more he gave it thought the more he realized he dreaded that day. Of course all missions came to an end. Of course at some point her situation would be resolved, and they would solve the mystery of her parentage, and then… then… Then, naturally, there would be no reason for them to remain, to keep up the facade of familial bonds, and he would move on to his next mission.
With a heavy heart, he decided at least coming home could cheer him up, and he silently made his way into the house he shared with Sakura, Kakashi, and Iruka.
Sliding out from the wall Yamato silently took a few steps into the hallway and stopped. Just ahead, facing away from him and embracing on the couch, Iruka and Kakashi were carefully wrapped up in each other in an unmistakable embrace.
A lance went straight through Yamato’s heart..
Why, what, without, when, stampeded through his mind, thoughts too jumbled to make any sense, unable to do anything but stare at the two curled up on the couch together. It made guilt drop like a brick into the pit of his stomach, the sinking oil slick of envy clogging up his throat as he stared, frozen in place. No. No, it’s not that. No, it can’t be, it’s probably just, it’s, they’re…
…fine, without me.
No, his heart hiccuped, once.
Yamato blinked, then blinked again, as if he could wish away the scene in front of him through the power of denial alone. But Iruka stayed curled in Kakashi’s arms, and gave a sigh that was audible even from the hallway.
“Thank you, Kakashi. I just don’t know how we’re going to tell him. He’ll be so disappointed…”
“He’s tough,” Kakashi said with a tenderness that scorched Tenzou’s ears, “We’ll tell him together. I’m sure things will turn out alright.”
They’re trying to figure out how to let me down gently, Tenzou grasped with sudden clarity. All this time, he had been misinterpreting Iruka’s kindness as overtures, when clearly the Chuunin preferred Kakashi’s company. Every smile, every warm look, of course, was just part of Iruka’s natural charm. It was never meant for him specifically.
Humiliation settled in next. They were discussing how to break the news that they were together, that they’ve been together, if their casual closeness is any indicator. How presumptuous I’ve been, Yamato thought. How inconsiderate. His own hubris had put them in an awkward position. There was no one else to blame but himself.
Yamato wrapped dejection around himself like a cloak. Tomorrow he would shrug it off, shedding his cocoon of comfort, and re-emerge, a blade, a weapon… but tonight he will hurt. A small luxury he would allow himself. He disappeared into his own rooms without ever greeting the others, or hearing the end of their conversation on the couch.
~ ~ ~
“...Naruto’s been looking forward to moving in for weeks now, and I have to tell him it’ll be another month before the Hokage can stamp the papers,” Iruka groaned. “He’s going to be so dramatic about it.”
“Six,” Kakashi says in return.
“Eh?”
“You’ve only told me about six times tonight,” Kakashi explained, adjusting his position on the couch as Iruka’s personal pillow for the evening. “And I’ll tell you for the seventh time, it’s going to be alright. The little knucklehead could stand to learn some patience. The wait will do him good.”
“But he’s going to be so upset at us!”
“And, for the seventh time, he’s going to get over it, Iruka. Have a little faith in the guy–”
“Yes,” Iruka laughed softly, shaking his head. “You keep telling me, he’s tough. I know. I know. You don’t need to tell me for the eighth time.”
Kakashi nodded, a smile in his eye now that Iruka was past the frantic worry from earlier. “I can make it nine, if you wanna tell me all about it, again, from the top? I wasn’t really listening.”
Iruka shoved him and stood. “Come on! I thought for sure Yamato would be back from patrol by now. The pot stickers are definitely cool. Come help me warm them up! When he gets here, let’s have dinner together, and tell him.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Kakashi says, accepting Iruka’s hand to stand, making his way toward the kitchen. Pausing, he sniffed the air, catching the change in scents, and double-checked the room. “Aa. He’s already here.”
Iruka’s eyebrows hiked up. “I never heard him come in. D’you think he went straight to sleep?”
“I can check. Two seconds.” Kakashi took a quick detour upstairs as Iruka busied himself in the kitchen. He stopped by Tenzou’s room, confirming by the chakra signature inside that the other man was indeed home. Odd. Usually he stopped by the front door to at least announce himself. It was an endearing habit he picked up, Kakashi thinks with a small smile, from Sakura, too. She was always announcing herself whenever she came into a room. Impossible to miss, with that cherry hair and boisterous presence. As much as the girl wished to deny it, she and Naruto were like two peas in a pod.
Kakashi stopped in front of his teammate’s door and raps his knuckles. “There’s dinner. Should be hot in a few minutes.”
“Not hungry,” a voice calls, muffled, as though from under covers. Strange, in all the years he had known him, . Kakashi doesn’t push it though, and mentions they’ll save him a bowl, and gets no response. He finds Iruka setting three plates and goes to help with drinks. Iruka pulls a face when Kakashi grabs two cups. “Don’t forget Yamato.”
“I could never,” Kakashi said earnestly. “But tonight he’s more tired than hungry. I don’t think he’s going to be down for dinner.”
“Let’s put a plate aside for him, for later,” Iruka decided. “Perhaps he’ll change his tune in a few hours.”
“That’s sweet of you,” Kakashi says in a sing-song voice, dodging when Iruka goes to shove his shoulder.
The two of them settle in at the table when a banging comes at the door.
~ ~ ~
What a fool he was.
As a shinobi, Yamato followed the orders of his Hokage flawlessly; he had to work on cultivating the bonds of trust so Sakura would naturally give him the information he needed, to observe her for any irregularities that separated her as Orochimaru’s kin. He wanted to know, but once again he had let emotions overcome him. They did not assign him to Sakura to be her best friend. He was trying to get information out of her–trying to divine the specific relationship she had with Orochimaru, if any, and what that might mean for the village. That was his purpose, his mission, his goal…
Yet it was becoming impossible to deny that Sakura meant something more than a mission to him. She was important to him–he was willing to break protocol on her behalf, to take unnecessary risks and unusual strenuous methods to avoid hurting her.
It was unacceptable, shameful that he would allow his emotions to overtake him in such a way. He had let himself become too absorbed into the fantasy of it all. A home, a child, a lover.
Tonight, he would allow himself the illusion, just for now, to remember everything fondly by. Tomorrow he would apologize to Kakashi, and Iruka, for his selfish behavior, dragging the mission out with needless semantics and distractions. How he allowed his judgment to be clouded, how Konoha’s best interests were not in his heart. Tomorrow he would regain his focus, and redouble his efforts to extract information from Sakura about her origins and relationship to Orochimaru, to bring a prompt end to this entire situation.
The sooner it ended, the sooner he could resolve these lingering useless emotions, like regret, and resentment, and return to being the perfect weapon.
Even as he thought it, Yamato recognized he wasn’t as excited about the prospect of everything returning to how it was before. Before the mission, and Sakura, Kakashi and Iruka, the house he’d made, the bonds they’d built… giving it all up, just to be another chess piece for Konoha to move… felt…
Loud banging on the door downstairs drew Yamato’s attention. He cautiously listened in, wanting to know but also not wanting to intrude. He recognized the voice of Sakura’s friend, the blonde Yamanaka
heir, the sound of Iruka’s voice rising, before footsteps announced someone was running up the steps. Yamato rolled out of bed, prepared for anything–
“Sakura’s missing!”
–Anything, except for that.