Chapter Text
Sunyoul was lovely and soft, Yein was something that seemed like a miracle, he was caring and protective to an extent and he had a smile brighter than the sun with a heart larger than his own being. Yein tried his hardest to work with the group, constantly trying to improve his dance and still practicing with his voice, making sure it was consistent.
He was soft in an odd way too. Yein had muscle tone, there was little denying that but there was still a plumpness to his figure. He wasn't toned to the same extent as Kuhn or Gyujin, and it wasn't in the same way either. Yein didn't have much upper body strength, his stance could easily be moved off balance, and his movements, though fluent, weren't constantly refined. He had challenges to his masculinity and fans often commented on his apparent femininity. Yet Changhyun still saw what was to be admired in the contradictions in Yein.
The soft slope of his neck, the fine curves and sharp angles in his face. The thick, strong thighs that carried Yein through every dance. Occasionally Changhyun would steal glances at his ass. Changhyun barely questioned it. He’d taken notice of Yein’s attractiveness but wasn't aware of how actively he would think of it. He saw Yein as being a gentle type of masculine. Nothing overbearing, and he embraced those softer sides that brought attention.
Changhyun adored his aegyo. Yein was cute without trying. The washboard abs he had couldn't counter the warmth of his smile or the shine in his eyes. It left Changhyun with a protective sense when it came to Yein. He felt a need to provide and look out for him despite knowing Yein was fully capable on his own. He wanted to keep Yein happy. Yein always looked out for him and helped him, Changhyun had no reason not to do the same.
On lazy days where they didn't practice Changhyun often found Yein wrapped in a blanket. Changhyun would sit beside him keeping him company and bringing him snacks when asked. These days would go by with snacks shared between the two and occasionally waking each other from naps. Changhyun would catch himself dozing off after the two fell into comfortable silences. Waking with either an extra blanket or a coat draped over himself with Yein seated nearby going through his phone. He was lazy in a way that complimented Changhyun’s own tendencies.
On stage there was Sunyoul, a bundle of talent that called for attention and that moved well with good grace. During practice there was Yein, the bundle of determination that gave his all to perfect his movements and put a strong face for fans despite how tired he’d get. Yein struggled to perfect some of the point choreography. His movements were occasionally clunky, lacking the same level of refinement as some of the other members. His flaws and holes were hidden in their performances and it really wasn't anything major but Yein still aimed for better.
Changhyun gave him extra attention when helping him. Directing his moves and correcting his posture, telling him tricks or explained the dance repeatedly. Yein tried his best, he wasn't terrible and they both knew it, but Yein wanted to improve for the group. It was something Changhyun admired.
When the group practiced Changhyun kept his eyes on Yein a bit longer than needed. Checking his position and movements. Making sure he didn't hurt himself or strain a muscle. One could argue that his eyes lingered, but Changhyun didn’t think twice about it. Between breaks he’d encourage Yein more than the others but it was negligible. While they danced, his thoughts would get sidetracked on Yein, “he’s trying so hard, he looks great.” He’d often zone out after that, watching Yein instead of the rest of the group until his attention came back.
Changhyun was lazy when they didn't practice, but he gave his all during every practice and performance. He tried his best, he knew the others were giving their all and he wasn’t the type to slack off. He knew up10tion meant the world to each of them, so he tried to be there for his members however he could. The area he could help them the most in was dance.
He caught on to the dances first and helped break it down for each of them. Demonstrate, try, demonstrate, try, demonstrate, try, over and over until they understood. Some caught on quickly, others in groups, and the ones that lingered mastering it late. Yein was usually among the last few to catch on.
Changhyun’s effort to help him usually ended with the two staying behind a bit longer to try a few more times. Changhyun helping to explain the moves in different ways, or trying to show him similar moves that could help him get the hang of parts of the motions. They got closer through this. Spending the extra time talking, encouraging Yein, Yein complimenting Changhyun.
The extra time didn't seem odd to Changhyun. He was just helping out Yein. Occasionally Changhyun would sigh when his words didn't help, stepping closer and guiding Yein’s movements with his hands. Gently positioning his limbs and then moving them in the right motions. He wouldn't describe himself as a tough love type but he felt words weren't always enough. If his words didn’t seem like enough he had the tendency to shut his mouth and act without much delicacy to his acts.
Even so Changhyun’s instructions complimented Yein’s way of learning, it helped him figure out the dances more than if he kept practicing on his own or if he asked one of the others to help him. Yein would catch on quicker if he got the extra help from Changhyun, it was like that from early on. They’d practice together with Changhyun helping him and watching where it was that Yein would get stuck and then helping him work out those bumps in his choreography. That extra time spent together always ended the same, with Yein thanking Changhyun for his help and patience, and Changhyun smiling at him and giving words of encouragement and praise for his efforts, still offering more help. It would give Yein a bright smile and his eyes shone with determination. It made Changhyun feel proud that he could help the younger, occasionally showing his pride by hugging him which usually got an embarrassed laugh out of Yein as Changhyun would tease him about his flushing Cheeks. Changhyun liked that look on Yein, he wanted to keep that look on him, keep him happy.
Yein helped Changhyun too, and he appreciated that. In the time after practice when all of their muscles were sore and they all wanted to collapse, Yein helped. Changhyun usually tried to sleep of the pain under his skin but Yein was there to give him a glass of milk, insisting it would help in the morning, before he collapses. If Changhyun collapsed before Yein caught him, he made sure Changhyun was wrapped in a blanket so he wouldn't get sick or wake with a cramp. When all of them were sore and Changhyun was just laying somewhere in the dorm sighing in annoyance, Yein would usually pop up with a few heating pads and his gentle hands. They’d sit together, resting their muscles, leaning on each other, occasionally complaining about the pain as they watched variety shows.
Yein was also there from an emotional standpoint. Changhyun wasn't one to show many emotions. Changhyun held onto the image of a tough guy that held in what bothered him. Yein knew that and he could tell when something was troubling him. He also knew Changhyun didn’t really want help in those states of silent pain, so he'd offer Changhyun a few words to remind him that he didn't need to be alone, and then give Changhyun his space to decide if he wanted comfort. He wouldn't prod on problems unless he was sure Changhyun would be fine with it. Yein didn’t push, but he was there to be someone to lean on should the need arise. Changhyun appreciated that.
Yein was always there for him, and Changhyun always tried to be there for him too. From the outside it wasn’t very obvious that emotions were festering. Once Changhyun realized that emotions were growing he wondered what he should do. For Bitto it could be ignored but Changhyun knew it wouldn’t really help unless he tried to do something about his emotions. He knew it was bad when he just saw Yein napping on the couch and felt warmth rising in his chest. He knew he needed to get his emotions under control when he found the words “I love him” floating around in his mind when Yein was near him.
So he tried to lock away his feelings. It would be better for the group and Yein if he didn't bother with those feelings. He could continue acting like nothing happened and hope for his feelings to fade into white noise in the background of his subconscious.
Ignoring his own feelings he kept watching Yein. He noticed something was off with Yein though. During practice Yein was still trying but his movements were sluggish. He looked fatigued as if he was weighed down by something. He wasn’t taking up Changhyun’s offers for additional practice as much either. In the dorms he’d notice Yein occasionally waking up with puffy eyes or darker circles than usual. Something was wrong but Changhyun wasn’t really sure how to help. He wasn’t one to talk about feelings and he didn't want to get too involved incase his own feeling end up surfacing and he be selfish.
The way he tried to help may have given off the impression of just wanting Yein to get over what was bothering him, but he did care. After practice or during break when they would all file out of the room Changhyun would always give Yein an extra pat on the back, making sure to give him a compliment to make sure he knew that he was improving. He tried giving Yein extra attention. Monitoring him to make sure he didn't hurt himself if he wasn't paying attention.
He’d catch Yein sulking in his blanket when most of the members were out or busy. Changhyun would then grab a beer and some snacks bringing them back to Yein. He’d hand him the beer, give him a sturdy hand on the back and start drinking with him. Changhyun would just spend the time keeping Yein company when he wanted to sulk and trying to cheer Yein up when he was done sulking.
He tried to go about comforting him with a manly friend approach. Offering a beer and company but not asking for the story, letting Yein keep what he wanted bottled up and being willing to listen when he wanted to spill. It took a while for Yein to regain most of his spirit. Changhyun was patient and still offered what help he could and trying to remind Yein that he would be around for him.
Yein was opening back up. Practicing with Changhyun again and looking better rested. Changhyun kept working to keep his spirits up, he didn't want Yein to fall in a slump again. So he kept his efforts up and enjoyed Yein’s company.
Nothing changed, Changhyun had ignored his feelings and ignored how his heart would beat with Yein around. He ignored it because he wanted to put Yein first. He felt his feelings and a relationship would be too much of a burden on Yein. So he kept going enjoying the time he had with Yein and trying to keep him happy.
Although Changhyun was good at keeping his feelings stable he did notice his reserve slipping. He had tried to keep any signs from showing but his feelings didn’t fade. He didn’t know how to get rid of his crush. He considered his options.
Throughout the process of his feelings Changhyun had tried to keep restrained since he didn't want to risk anything, but since his feelings didn't fade he felt the best way to deal with them would be to face them. Yein was in better stability and he thought it wouldn't cause much turmoil if he were to open up for once.
It was when they had a day off and Changhyun caught Yein wrapped in his blanket like usual. He offered Changhyun a snack, Changhyun accepted, taking a seat nearby. They sat together eating snacks and watching shows. Changhyun kept glancing at Yein watching as he scrolled through his phone during commercials.
“Ah, I really like you. It’d be nice if we could date but it’s probably best not to.” He tried to be casual about it but Yein stared at him wide eyed and silent.
“Sorry, I’m not asking you to try. I just needed to say that. I’ll go give you some space.” Changhyun took Yein’s silence as a sign to leave, so he left hoping Yein wouldn’t take what he said badly.
Changhyun left Yein to digest what he said. Changhyun reflected on it himself, considering what he said and what he’d decided. He’d given up his chance with Yein in his confession. He’d made the commitment to move on. Even though he still felt his heart beating from his emotions. With shaky breath he tried to sleep off his emotions, having trouble calming down as he felt tears roll down the side of his face. He later woke with dry tears staining his cheeks and pillow.
He tried to act like nothing happened. Went about his day as if everything was fine. There was a bumpy start, with Yein seeming a bit caught off guard when he first saw Changhyun, unsure to stay near him. But he did anyways. Yein acted normally. Continuing to spend time with Changhyun, and he was still fine with staying near him.
It hurt Changhyun a bit to know he wouldn't have a chance with Yein. He did want to be selfish and try a relationship since they did mesh well, but he had decided to move on. He wouldn't go back on his word, so he tried to act like it was nothing. With his feelings laid out he worked to move on. He kept helping Yein and appreciated what help Yein offered. In his efforts to ignore his lingering feelings and attempts to move on he didn’t notice the little sign of longing and confusion that occasionally passed through Yein’s eyes.