Chapter Text
Quackity stared at them, his careful mask slipping. "You were serious, about leaving? Even after all the work we've all put in, to rebuild, after Dream…" His breath caught, his arm subconsciously wrapping around his midsection. "So...we're letting him win? Running away?"
"Quackity…" Sapnap reached out, intending on pulling him towards the sofa.
Quackity gave him a look, avoiding his hand. "Just like Wilbur did?"
Most of the assembled friends winced, at that. "We're not letting anyone win, Quackity…" Philza's voice was calm, and clearly meant to be soothing. "...we're just trying to keep you alive, to be able to continue the fight."
"Fight for what, when either Dream or the Eggpire is probably going to destroy Las Nevadas – and Kinoko Kingdom, Pandas...either that, or he'll take it over, for himself...there'll be nothing left to fight for."
"We'll still have each other." Eret glanced at Foolish, then stepped forward, handing Quackity a mug of coffee. "Buildings can be rebuilt...even the Archives, though some of the artifacts may be irreplaceable…" She tilted her glasses down, fixing her glowing white eyes on his. "...because so are you. So is Foolish. So is everyone in this room .There's no point in recording history, if no one is left to learn from it."
"And if we're going to learn from history…" Philza sighed. "...staying in these kingdoms you've created will only make it easier for Dream to target us all."
Karl raised his hand, then reddened as everyone turned to him, with varying degrees of amusement. "But he's going to notice that we've left...won't he just follow us?"
Foolish glanced at Quackity. "We have a way to make Las Nevadas not look abandoned….and...what if we make it look like we're building up to something? It might keep Dream's attention long enough for us to get far enough away that he can't pick up our trail, easily…"
Quackity turned to him. "You're talking about the slime army?" He laughed, humorlessly. "Yeah, sure...because Slime has never turned against us…"
Foolish winced, and gave Eret a concerned glance. "The army didn't turn on us, though...they're the reason that there was enough of Las Nevadas left, to repair."
Quackity took a long sip of his coffee. "But we're leaving them here, unsupervised...what's to stop him from turning them against us, and using them to hunt us down?"
"The fact that we've taught them that he's public enemy number one?"
"Charlie should have known that." His voice was flat. "But he didn't." He walked towards his bedroom, leaving the others sitting stunned and uncertain how to respond.
Philza was the first to follow. "Even if he does turn them, it will take him time...precious time, during which we can find a place to hide."
"Hide." Quackity shook his head. "So he wins – we're running away, and hiding. Handing him everything we worked so hard to create...everything that I could possibly leave, to the baby…"
"Children don't need big, fancy cities, Quackity – they need parents." Philza sighed, deeply, the tone of it causing the other man to falter in his steps. "All you have to do for proof of that, is look at Will. Which is why I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you alive."
"Or me…" Fundy's voice was soft.
Quackity turned to face him with a startled look, as if he'd forgotten that he was in the room...and found his expression mirrored in multiple faces, as Sapnap hurriedly stepped forward. "What…"
"Your nose is bleeding, again." Gently placing an arm around Quackity's shoulders, he led him towards the bathroom, instead.
"Fuck." The amount of despair in the single, trembling word made most of the others flinch.
As soon as the door shut behind them, Philza turned to Foolish. "You seem to know him best, after Sapnap – can you pack what he'll need?"
"I can do it." Karl interjected, heading towards the bedroom. "Someone needs to pack the stuff Sapnap's left in there, too, and Foolish needs to go pack for his kids."
"All right, mate...maybe leave behind his less practical clothes? His suits won't fit him very much longer, anyhow, and we don't want to be weighed down by unnecessary things."
"Karl...are you sure?" Foolish stared down at the other man.
Karl nodded. "You need to go get your kids, and all your stuff…you have three people to pack for, so we'll probably be back in Kinoko, getting the rest of our stuff, before you're done."
Philza nodded, glancing at Eret and Fundy. "We should also go, and meet back together in Kinoko Kingdom with what we need to survive."
As half of the entourage left, Karl pulled open Quackity's closet, and found himself staring at an open box…
Quackity pulled on Ossium's reins, just before the border of Kinoko Kingdom. "Are you sure this is okay, with Karl?"
"He packed your things, Quackity...I think he's over it." Sapnap slowly reached out, laying his hand over Quackity's. "And it'll take a lot less time, if you can pack up the rest of our stuff, while I help Karl pack up the library."
Quackity chuckled. "Yeah...he won't leave without it, will he?"
When they both glanced his way, Karl had turned his horse around, and was staring at them, halfway to the library. "Come on, you two...we have to hurry!"
Sapnap paused in the doorway of their bedroom, after pointing out the important chests. "You really were supposed to be here with us...I...I don't know…"
"It's okay...Karl's not the only one, who doesn't think I'm good enough..."
Sapnap stared at him for a moment, before storming over and pulling a startled Quackity into a tight embrace. "Stop that."
"I guess I should be glad that Wilbur at least didn't kill me, when he left...except…" He was shaking slightly. "...maybe he did? Probably…"
"No." Sapnap kissed him. "We're going to get through this...all of us."
"Would you be as accepting, if I wasn't probably going to die?"
"You were drunk...you were vulnerable – which is partially my fault…" Sapnap was rocking him gently, the way he usually did for PTSD episodes. "...and you don't deserve all the shit you've been through, lately...much less to suffer through this, alone."
"Charlie would disagree."
"Not about...this…" Sapnap shook his head.
"Why not? I was stupid enough to try and stop Wilbur from leaving – I invited him into my home, even knowing that nothing good comes from that man; I got drunk, and admitted my feelings to a narcissist; and I cheated...if we are still engaged? Everyone's acting like we are…"
"Of course we are."
"Because you really want it, or because you feel sorry for me?"
"What…"
"Karl doesn't want it...are you sure you do? I mean...it's not exactly fair of me, to expect you to raise another guy's kid, especially with the problems it's going to cause."
"I...we don't have time to argue about this, right now...yeah, we're still…"
Quackity pulled back enough to stare into Sapnap's very worried gaze. "You don't have to run with me, Pandas...you could stay here with Karl...Dream will chase after me, you should be…"
"No." Sapnap's arms tightened around him. "We're going with you."
"Is that what Karl wants? Really?"
Sapnap tried to gently turn him towards the bed. "Why don't you lie down, and I'll pack?"
"I'm not on death's doorstep...yet…" Quackity headed to the first chest, opened it, and began going through it. "Just what we need to survive...if you're crazy enough to actually follow me…"
"If we don't, Dream will just try to use us against you." Sapnap reasoned, helping to sort the contents of the box.
Eyeing him, Quackity sighed, deeply. "You're not going to help Karl?"
"I'm not leaving you alone, in this mental state."
Quackity chuckled. "You mean you're not letting me out of your sight."
"Exactly."
Packing thankfully went very fast, with the two of them: heading towards the library, Quackity paused by the wagon their belongings had been stacked on. "Maybe you should go get him...Kinoko is one thing, but...his library?"
Sapnap gave him a long look.
He sighed. "I promise I'll still be here, when you come out...all our stuff is mixed together, on this thing."
"Okay." Sapnap startled him with a kiss, then headed into the library. "Karl? I'm sorry I took so long..."
"It's okay, Sap…" Karl appeared from behind an empty bookcase. "It...gave me time…" He glanced towards the door. "Is Quackity…?"
"He's waiting outside, because he doesn't want to upset you."
"Okay...I know this is going to sound...very strange, but...I need to go to the house, to grab a couple of things."
"We might have packed them, already…"
Karl shook his head. "No – you wouldn't have, because they're not completely necessary...except...I think they might be...can you just trust me on this? Please?"
Sapnap nodded. "As long as we're ready, by the time the others get here."
Karl nodded, then gave him a worried look. "We're...really all engaged, aren't we?"
Sapnap's eyes widened. "Yeah...are you...starting to remember?"
"I…" Karl reddened. "I wish...Sap...how could I forget something like that?"
Sapnap sighed, shaking his head. "Maybe we can figure that out, once we have a safe place to guard Quackity."
"Then I'll go get those last things, if you'll get my boxes loaded." He indicated the small pile beside the door, and ran towards home…pulling out a picture he'd found in one of his books, and staring at it, once he was behind closed doors…
Sapnap rejoined Quackity beside the wagon, raising a concerned eyebrow at his pallor. "Are you okay?"
"I'm just...really tired, all of a sudden."
"Why don't you get on the wagon, and maybe take a nap, before the others get here?"
"Because I have a suggestion, of one last place we should stop, before we leave."
"Where's that, mate?" Philza's voice preceded the rest of their entourage into Kinoko.
"Church Prime...because the holy water effects the Egg, somehow."
Sapnap hugged him. "We'd stop there, even without that, as a reason."
Philza nodded. "It's a good idea, honestly – we should all make sure that no remnants of the Egg come along with us."
"You mean...we should all bathe in the holy water?" Her hand straying up towards her throat, Eret shivered, and nodded. "I think I'd like that…"
Foolish set a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Let's get going, then."
"As soon as Karl comes out." Sapnap glanced towards the house, his curiosity buried by concern over both of his fiances.
"Quackity." Philza caught his arm, as they passed in the doorway of Church Prime. "I brought you some of my spare shirts, so you don't have to keep your wings contained – your back's going to hurt enough without, in a few months."
Quackity blinked rapidly, trying to contain at least part of his reaction. "Thanks, Philza…"
Seeing the extra shine in his eyes, Philza gave him a sympathetic, understanding
smile, and headed towards the others.
Entering the water left him feeling...numb, really: he stared around the church he'd helped build, where Dream had proclaimed himself god…
Of course, it had technically been true…
Was DreamXD any better, than his former host?
Was Dream still part deity, somehow?
Would that mean that he'd literally managed to incur the wrath of a god?
If he was...wasn't this whole thing doomed from the start, because his well being – hell, his mere existence – was an affront, to God?
Unless...whichever god was in charge, was responsible for all of it…
And Dream had brought back Wilbur…and then attacked him, causing the baby's first death, with his own...
Suddenly shivering far harder despite the warmth of the water, he scrambled out of the sunken font, shaking the water from his wings. "Was it you?" His arm wrapped around his midsection, protectively. "Do you really hate me, that much? Enough to steal lives from my kid? Just to kill me, and anyone stupid enough to stay with me, out of pity?" As he clutched a pew to steady himself, his hand settled on the shirt Philza had given him. "Or guilt?" He was breathing hard...he could feel his heart pounding...his hand was shaking...his stomach feeling like it was about to turn inside out… "God...was this...the first time? Or was Schlatt? Did you hand me over to him, just for the revive book? Which one of you were you, by that point?" The thought of his abusive ex had him hyperventilating enough that his vision was starting to fade, slightly, as he pulled on his clothes faster than he had in a very long time. "Are you even going to be happy, when I'm dead? Or are you going to keep torturing me, in the afterlife? God...you've attacked me at every chance...I can't have a country to call home...a relationship...even a friend...you fucking mean for me to die, don't you? Before I can even hold this baby...knowing that either it will kill everyone I still care about, or they'll abandon it, because they have to…you're...going to make me watch that, aren't you? And he's only going to resur...resurrec...me...when...it's too laaa..." He hit his knees as his stomach lurched, violently, the taste of blood only making the nausea worse…
As his vision returned, slowly, he realized that someone was holding him back from falling into the bloody mess, and very gently rubbing his back, between his wings and shoulder blades. "...going to be all right…" The voice was low, soothing, repeating the comforting words...when he quit shaking, and started to lean back, the arms around him helped him sit up, without letting go. "Let's get you cleaned up."
"I just changed…"
"And you managed to not mess up your clothes...mostly...but you do have a nosebleed…"
"Again?" The plaintive tone of the word made Eret pause, and eye him carefully.
"I'll go get your medicine." Sapnap's voice came from the doorway.
"Oh, god…" Quackity turned deep red. "How...how much of that...did everyone hear?"
"We did notice that you were yelling...but we thought it best to allow you your space, for what was clearly meant to be a private...conversation?...until we heard…" She glanced towards the puddle on the floor.
"I must have sounded like a crazy person."
"You sounded...upset...which is completely understandable…" She gave him a worried look. "Quackity...you haven't even had a chance, to fully process...any of it – if you need to talk…"
"Talking won't change anything...and you're already abandoning everything, just to...babysit…"
"Oh, no." Eret shook her head. "I am not changing diapers."
Quackity gave her a wide eyed look, then started laughing…until he ended up sobbing against her shoulder. "I hope...I get to…"
"What?" Startled, Eret began gently caressing his hair.
"I was...hoping...with Las Nevadas...that maybe...when the time was right...I'd get to...raise my kid...this time…"
"This time?" Catching Sapnap's gaze as he froze in the doorway, she gave him the slightest shake of her head, hoping he'd take the hint: Sapnap nodded, and quietly backed out of the building...to be quickly pulled aside by Karl.
"We were...going to be married...me and Sap...and Karl...so at least...this kid would be born...legitimate...it was supposed to be...a safe place...for us all...the baby...would have a family…" The words paused, for a long moment: the shaking breaths and tears didn't. "...I'd have...a family…"
"I'd say you do have a family, Quackity…" Eret's voice was soft, but serious. "Look at everyone here…"
"Or…" Karl's voice drew their attention to the door of the Church. "...we could make it official…"
Seeing Karl dressed in a tuxedo made Quackity's trembling breath catch in his chest, for a long moment. "Wh...what…?"
Karl held up a notebook. "You kept this...despite us abandoning El Rapids...despite me forgetting…"
"Because I meant Las Nevadas...to be our home."
"Home is wherever your family is." Sapnap entered the church, tugging at the collar of his dress shirt. "But the Church, we might not ever see again, so let's make use of it, while we're here…"
"What?"
Karl and Sapnap glanced at each other, before both coming closer to kneel next to Quackity. "As long as you don't expect us to say our vows anywhere near perfectly…"
Karl elbowed him, lightly. "We're at least willing to try to say them...but...were you actually going to sing yours?" He gave Quackity a tentative smile.
"Yeah...but...you guys don't have to…"
"Sap's right – this might be our only chance to do this right. And doesn't the baby deserve to have a family?"
"Do you have any idea what you're signing up for?" Quackity stared at them. "I'm probably not even going to make it…you won't just be trying to protect me from Dream...you'll end up having to take care of me, even though I'll probably end up dead, anyhow..."
"Don't say that." Sapnap looked terrified, for a single moment.
"That sounds like 'in sickness and in health', to me." Karl handed him the book.
"...and then, you'll be stuck with a kid that's not even yours."
"Better them, than Wilbur." Fundy's voice came from the doorway: behind him, Philza facepalmed, at the interruption of the intimate discussion.
"Families aren't always about blood, Quackity..." Eret gently pointed out. "...I've adopted Fundy, and Foolish adopted both of his children…"
"Ranboo and Tubbo adopted Michael…" Philza added softly. "...and I'll be around to help them deal with the child's powers." His voice more than indicated that they would have no choice in the matter. "As well as ensuring that they learn how to treat a child, in general."
Sapnap winced, at the accusatory tone.
Oblivious to the unspoken tension, Karl took Quackity's hand. "So…? Will you marry us, so we can be a family, for both you and the baby?"
"Are you just doing this out of pity, Karl? Because you didn't want anything to do with me, when I visited Kinoko…"
Karl's smile slipped, slightly. "Quackity...I...I seriously don't remember...a lot, apparently…"
"Which means: you'll be taking on that 'in sickness and in health' thing, too." Sapnap added, softly. "We all will...the way the vows mean…"
"You're really willing to risk Dream coming after you, because you're protecting my kid?"
Karl smiled. "Our kid."
Sapnap nodded. "Especially since it sounds like the kid isn't exactly going to be helpless…" He glanced back at Philza. "If the kid manages to...do whatever you guys do, to separate souls from bodies, will the Revive book even work, on Dream, if the kid does that to him?"
"It worked on Wilbur." Fundy pointed out, in an annoyed tone.
Philza sighed. "That...may be because of him being what he is."
"Will it work on me?" Quackity's barely audible question might as well have been a cannon, firing into the momentarily silent room. "Not that Dream would use it for any nice purpose…"
"I'll make him." Sapnap growled.
"No fighting, remember?" Philza gave an exasperated sigh. "If the child's life is threatened, including by Quackity's death, it's highly likely that no one will be left breathing, to read the damned book."
"Even one of us?" Fundy turned to his grandfather, curiously.
"Fundy...there's a very large chance that you'll not gain reaper powers, and being anywhere near will cost you your last life."
"What?"
Philza forced himself to meet the younger man's eyes. "When you jumped...you technically reaped yourself. I'm not sure, yet, what consequences it will have in regards to you becoming an angel of death."
"So...the one good thing my father could have left me...he managed to take away…" Fundy shook his head. "Typical." He turned on his heel, and ran out of the church.
"Fundy…" Eret stared after him, concerned.
"Stay here. I'll go after him." Philza gave her a tired half smile. "You've got a wedding to prepare for, if I'm reading the rest of the room, right…"
"Wot?"
"As the officiant – you're a monarch, and one of the few good things about that, is: you can marry people."
"Oh. Right." Eret returned her attention to Quackity, who was staring up at her, equally startled by the revelation. "As I've said: you've already got a family...this would just make it official."
Quackity's good eye filled with tears...which further caused the blood from his nose to spread.
"Why don't we get you cleaned up, first, then we can discuss the wedding?" Sapnap held out tissues, and Quackity's nasal spray.
Quackity nodded, taking the medicine. "At least there's nothing left, for me to throw up…"
Karl gave him a startled look. "Is it normal, for morning sickness to show up so soon?"
Quackity chuckled, ruefully. "It shows up whenever the hell it decides to...I just got...a little worked up, and the medicine causes nausea…" He sighed. "...meaning: I really hope I don't keep needing it, now that I'm not living in the desert." Inhaling the mist, he nearly doubled over, from his stomach's reaction. "Ngghh…"
"Here." Karl handed him a bottle of water, as Sapnap began rubbing his shoulders.
As the nausea passed, Quackity glanced from one to the other. "If this is what 'in sickness and in health' will get me...I'm in…"
Karl grinned. "I'll go get your suit."
"What?" He stared up at Sapnap as Karl ran towards the door.
Sapnap shrugged, with a grin. "He's the one who packed our tuxes...and your lines, apparently…"
Quackity reddened. "So...he's seriously…willing to marry me, just because I'm dying?"
Sapnap gave him an irritable look. "You're not dying."
He met his fiance's gaze with a deep sigh. "Just promise me that you won't really let Dream bring me back...because he'll find a way to make it worse than dying."
Sapnap stared at him, shocked…
...but was spared having to answer, by Karl's return. "Here it is!" Pulling the tuxedo out of the garment bag, he draped it carefully over a pew.
Half an hour later, Quackity took a deep breath, praying that he still remembered the words he'd chosen for his vows, despite not having practiced them in months...not having looked at them, since the...misunderstanding?...in Kinoko… He stared into Karl's eyes, still confused as to why he'd agree to this, if he truly had no memory of their relationship...and began to sing the song he'd chosen, because the wording held special meaning, between them…
"Never knew I could feel like this, like I've never seen the sky before…" He reddened, slightly, at the anticipated intimacy of the next line. "I want to vanish inside your kiss, every day I love you more and more…" The extremely touched look on Karl's face made it easier to continue. "Listen to my heart, can't you hear it sing: telling me to give you everything. Seasons may change, Winter to Spring, but I love you, until the end of time." Sapnap was grinning at the both of them, as Karl's eyes sparkled with tears, in the candlelight. "Come what may...come what may...I will love you, until my dying day…"
His breath caught in his chest, but he forced himself to pull in the air to continue. "Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...suddenly it moves with such perfect grace...suddenly...my life...doesn't seem such a waste…"
Karl's rapt expression slipped, and he glanced at Sapnap, who placed an arm around Quackity's shoulders, taking an uncertain breath. "And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide, sing out this song, and I'll be there, by your side…"
"Storm clouds may gather, and stars may collide…" Karl took over, taking both of Quackity's hands in his. "...but I love you, until the end of time…come what may…"
"Come what may…" Sapnap echoed.
"I will...love you…" Quackity finally managed. "...until…"
Sapnap and Karl both caught him as his knees gave out, ending up kneeling together to hold him up. "Until the end of time." Karl spoke the words, softly.
"That's not...how the song ends…"
"And this isn't how your life ends." Karl leaned forward, gently kissing him, which was enough to startle his tears away. "I'm going to say I told you so, just so you know…"
Quackity started to laugh, to the relief of everyone in the church.
Sapnap exited the tent looking shell shocked: Philza handed him a strong drink. "You all right, mate?"
"I...he..."
Philza gave a sympathetic chuckle. "Let me guess: he passed out, after, and is sleeping a little more like the dead, than you'd prefer?"
"Karl had to use a mirror, to figure out if he's still breathing." Sapnap blurted, wide eyed and pale. "Did we…?"
The older man chuckled. "No – after the day and week and month he's had, he's just out cold...but that will become more and more literal, for him…"
"Because...he's visiting Limbo?"
"Because his soul is somewhere in the land of the dead, yes."
Sapnap chugged the drink without sipping it first, and began coughing – it didn't stop him from also chugging the first refill, though he slowed down, on the second. "Doing what we were doing won't hurt him or the baby, will it?"
"No, mate...in fact, it will probably help him cling to life just a little harder. As well as the normal benefits of intimacy, during pregnancy." He glanced towards the tent. "Hopefully, it's enough to balance what he's getting, from the other side…"
Quackity found himself grinning, as he exited the train: between him still wearing his tuxedo and the afterglow of what had happened when the suit had come off, in the living world, his bisabuela was smiling almost as broadly, by the time he reached her food stand. "You're glowing like a cathedral at Christmas...and dressed so fancy…"
"I got married!" He hugged her, spinning her around.
Her smile was like the sun: taking him by the hand, she pulled him towards the house. "Then you need a proper wedding feast."
"But...my fian...my husbands...aren't here…"
"Husbands..." She gave him a pointedly questioning look. "Is one of them the father?"
He sighed, the slight dampening of his mood causing her to stop and turn to face him. "No...but they both agreed to raise my child as their own."
"Then they are good men, and would want you to stay well fed...both of you." She smiled, lightly brushing the hair back from his face. "I'm so proud of you, mi patito..."
"They deserve better..."
Spinning around she shook a finger at him. "Don't ever say that...they are lucky to have you and your child in their lives..."
"When the child is...someone else's?"
"Oh, Patito..." She took his hand, pulling him into the house. "We know, what your baby is...it's how we're able to be a part of your life, despite being here."
Quackity blinked, at the decorations adorning the interior: balloons; streamers; flowers; the dining room table had every extension inserted beneath the good tablecloth, and already held dishes with snack food. "Are you...having a party?"
She motioned towards a corner with gifts, both wrapped and not...including a giant teddy bear with a bow around its neck, and several handmade blankets. "We were already going to celebrate the baby...but hearing that you're married will make the party even bigger."
Family was already arriving in steady streams, bearing gifts, food and instruments, when a knock on the door confused all of them to momentary silence, followed by questioning who the hell would knock...
The door opened to reveal a tall, pale woman with long black hair, seemingly held in place by flowers. Intricate embroidery along the edges of her dress caught the light: it swept around her as she almost seemed to float into the room. The festive mood seemed more muted than fully derailed by her presence, which seemed to command a certain amount of awe: Quackity stared from one relative to the other, before approaching slowly, and holding out his hand. "Hi, I'm Quackity...I don't think we've met, how are we related?" That broke the spell, as much of his family broke into nervous laughter: he gave them a confused look. "What?"
"Mijo, this is La Muerte..." His bisabuela handed the other woman a glass of wine.
Even the newcomer was smiling. "I'm your child's other grandmother, Quackity. You can call me Kristin."
This time, the stunned silence remained for several long moments, until one of his uncles - clearly having started his own party a little early - broke it with a whistle. "We knew you managed to land an angel of death, but...La Muerte's own son? Daaamn, you traded up from that pendejo with the gym..."
Quackity shivered, at the mention of Schlatt. "I..."
Kristin smiled, sympathetically. "I know that it's not the best relationship, between you and Wilbur...but Phil and I both want to be in the baby's life, which means in your life, if you're okay with it?"
"I have no idea, what this kid is going to need...and that's if I live through it...what happens if I don't?" His voice was shaking, as he blurted out questions.
His bisabuela quickly herded the rest of the family into the kitchen, to give them privacy.
Kristin took his hand, and led him to the sofa. "Why don't you sit down, for this..."
"I'm going to die, aren't I? That's why I'm here..."
She shook her head. "For lack of a better way of putting it, the baby has already acquired a taste for death...and your great grandmother is thankfully a very good cook. You're drawn here in your sleep, so the baby has the energy it needs as an angel of death...and then you go back, because your body needs the food of the living."
"Does that mean that he won't be able to visit, once the baby is born?" His bisabuela couldn't help interjecting, from the kitchen door.
Kristin sighed, deeply. "We don't know yet, beyond the obvious: if Quackity dies, he will certainly come here...if he lives...we will have to figure something out, because the child will be able to travel in both realms, and definitely shouldn't be allowed to do so, unsupervised."
"What if I do die, though? Will you let me go back to the land of the living, to help raise the baby?"
"You would be a ghost, likely not able to interact physically with anything but the child..."
Quackity twisted his wedding bands around his finger. "Is there no way, at all?"
"That's why we're trying to keep you alive, Quackity...it's not your time, and it's certainly not fair that you could lose your life bringing one of my angels to life." Reaching out, she gently brushed away the tears that were threatening to spill down his face. "You deserve to be a proper parent to this child, in both realms."
Quackity burst into tears, only to find himself in the dual embrace of Death, and his great grandmother.
Wilbur had to fight to not let his distaste show, as the hunters who'd just bought two large stryrofoam coolers and three large bags of ice began placing their kills inside: other prey was disturbing, somehow, but seeing the limp ducks stacked callously in between layers of cold made him positively nauseous. "Have a nice day!" He kept his plastered on fake smile, waving until they drove away from the gas station that was the only building in several kilometers - miles, he reminded himself, this was Utah - then pulled in all but one finger. "...you fucking disgusting bastards..."
He needed air...and then, bad air: grabbing the trash he'd gathered just before the hunters had come in, he stepped out the back door, tossed the bag in the dumpster, and had his lighter out before the clang of the metal lid quit ringing. The flame was halfway to his hand rolled "cigarette" - his boss had made it clear that he didn't give a damn what Wilbur indulged in, as long as he could still do his job - when a loud horn was followed by a louder crunch of metal on metal. "Wot...?" He muttered, then lit the cigarette, taking a long drag as he made his way around the station to look towards the noise.
An hour later, the ambulance was finally pulling in - for the semi driver, who was clearly in shock: the pickup was a mangled, flaming wreck, at the side of the road, the ducks in the coolers now in far better shape than the hunters. The state troopers that he'd been glad to brew a fresh pot of coffee for, twenty minutes after pulling the trucker from his rig, gave him smiles and friendly waves, as they left to try and identify the deceased hunters from the remains of their vehicle.
"At least today wasn't boring..." There was also considerably less mess to deal with, than when the bighorn sheep had somehow wandered into the store, two days ago...it had taken him forty five minutes to herd the damned creature back through the door, and the rest of the night, to clean up the store. He'd been so stiff and sore as he climbed up to the small one room apartment above the store - the use of which was part of his payment for manning this last bastion of civilization - that he'd fallen asleep in a hot bath, drunk and high in the hopes of not feeling the escapade the next day.
Wandering upstairs as soon as he'd filled in his boss - the only other employee of the store - he ran another bath, and took a long sip of his beer, eyeing his dwindling supply of stronger substances: deciding that half carrying the trucker hadn't strained him nearly as much as the damned ram had, he shed his clothes, and slid into the hot water with a sigh.
Sapnap woke as a soft sigh parted Quackity's lips: Karl met his gaze, over their still unconscious husband. "He's waking up, I think..."
"How can you tell?"
"He was smiling, earlier...now, he's not."
"That's...not..." He didn't have time to finish his thought, before Quackity sat bolt upright, slapped a hand over his mouth, and scrambled out of the tent...regardless of his lack of clothing.
Quackity was throwing up, in a newly dug hole: Philza waved his worried husbands back. "It's not pleasant, but he'll be fine. I promise."
"How did you know, to have a hole ready?" Eret asked, holding a handkerchief over her nose.
"Kristin told me, when he fell asleep in Limbo."
"Well, that's handy..."
"Apparently, she got to attend the baby shower his family was throwing him." Philza's tone was slightly amused. "Which is why he's got such a bellyful, to purge, now - she's going to tell his great grandmother to try to feed him at the beginning of his visits, but not at the end." He began gently rubbing Quackity's back, paying special attention to the rigid muscles holding his wings up at a distressed angle.
When Quackity's dry heaves finally stopped, Sapnap helped him to his feet, wrapping a blanket around him, and leading him to the fire where Karl was waiting with water and coffee. "Are you okay?"
Quackity blushed brightly, and glanced up at him through tear-sparkling eyes. "My family is building a nursery..." He grabbed the coffee, downing it without stopping, to get rid of the taste in his mouth.
"And Kristin is trying to find a way for you to use it, despite being alive." Philza reassured him.
"We're going to need a nursery here, too, aren't we?" Karl asked.
"If we can't even stay in the same place more than a few days, how can we have a nursery?" Quackity wrapped the blanket tighter around himself. "How can I even give birth, safely?"
"We're going to find someplace far from anywhere Dream knows, and fortify a village, or woodland mansion." Philza spoke comfortingly. "Then, once you're able to move, we'll find another place..."
"And what? Just keep moving, every few months? What kind of life is that, for a kid?"
"Once the child is a bit older, we can try for a more permanent home...but for now, it's not just Dream, that's the reason we need to keep moving." Philza pointed at the tree nearest the tent that the newlyweds had slept in: it was clearly struggling, despite having been healthy, the night before.
Quackity stared up at Sapnap, then over at Karl, alarmed. "But the two of you..."
"They're fine, Quackity...the baby's not capable of feeding off of humans, yet." Philza handed him a plate of food.
Watching as Fundy left the fire to go begin repacking the camping gear, Eret followed, wanting to give the strange new family their space...and concerned for her own. "Fundy? Are you all right?"
Fundy sighed, his shoulders and tail drooping, slightly. "I'm just...that's...I know it's my half sibling, but..." He gave a strangled chuckle. "I don't know whether to feel lucky that Wilbur was at least sort of there, during my childhood...or jealous..."
"You mean, because this child has three fathers who are clearly going to pay more attention? Or that the baby may never meet Wilbur?"
"Do you know what Philza told me, outside Church Prime, before the wedding?"
Eret shook her head. "It had something to do, with your family's...death powers, I presume?"
Fundy nodded. "Which I may not ever get...and I don't know how to feel, about that: on one hand, it's just one more slap in the face, that I'm somehow not good enough to be a part of my family..."
"Fundy..." Eret's voice was mildly reproachful, though supportive.
"No, it's true - now, I may not even get the one inheritance I had left...but...given that it would be the same powers that are hurting Quackity...maybe I don't want them? But it still feels like the whole universe thinks I'm not good enough..."
"Fundy." Eret took him by the shoulders. "If we're truthful...Wilbur ran away. Leaving us with an even bigger mess, than after L'Manberg. Yes, your sibling is clearly far luckier, when it comes to family: it has three fathers; your grandfather; you, as a brother..."
"You say that like I'm some sort of asset."
"You are...and far more of one, than your absentee father would be." She tilted her head. "But what do you mean, about the family inheritance?"
"Because I jumped...it may count as me reaping myself, before I even had the powers. It's part of why Phil..." He trailed off, staring at his grandfather for a long moment.
"Why Phil...killed Wilbur, himself?" Eret guessed.
Fundy nodded. "He basically...put him in time out, which is why we got Ghostbur, for a while...which was definitely a better thing, than Wilbur being given reaper powers, in his state of mind..."
"Agreed..."
"But..." Fundy sighed, deeply. "I don't know if I feel robbed, by those powers being denied...if they are, because Philza's not sure they will be, since it wasn't my final life...or if I hope that they're gone, so I won't ever hurt anyone..." He lowered his voice even more. "...like the baby is..."
"Philza seems to think that Sapnap and Karl are fine."
"For now...and Quackity isn't." He shook his head. "He hasn't been, since that night - the bloody noses are worse, for a reason..."
"And...you can tell this, somehow?"
Fundy nodded. "He looks off...he smells off...sometimes, it's worse than others..."
Eret gave him a small smile. "Sometimes, the rest of us don't notice it?"
"Yeah...but even when you guys don't, he's still...not right."
"The same way you were the only one to actually see and hear Glatt, when he was trying to warn us that Quackity was in Limbo?"
Fundy blinked. "What?"
"Fundy...your powers may not be fully gone...and that may be a huge asset, when it comes to keeping Quackity at all healthy."
He stared at her, hopefully.
"Caw! Caaaw!"
Watching the nasty white streak slowly ooze its way down the window, Wilbur swore. "Damn it..." Grabbing the spray bottle and a handful of paper towels, he headed out to clean the disgusting mess. The crows that seemed to delight in making more work for him perched on the tin roof over the gas pumps, and made a raucous cacophany that sounded vaguely like laughter: he gave them the finger, over his shoulder, as he cleaned. Tossing the used paper towels in the nearest bin, he paused to light the last half of a joint, to calm his frazzled nerves...but as soon as his hands were busy, the sound and breeze from a single flap of wings was the only warning he got, before he helplessly watched his beanie being carried aloft, by another crow. "You...fucking..." He took a heavy drag from the joint.
He was still fuming three hours later, when he glanced out the thankfully still clean window...and froze, wondering if there had been something extra, at the end of the joint. Tearing down the road, kicking up a cloud of dust, was a caravan of a very familiar silhouette. He just had time to run into the bathroom and splash his face, hoping to either make the mirage dissipate, or to at least look like he wasn't staring at a part of his past, making it back out just in time to see it pull to a screeching halt by the door.
The camper had clearly been repaired, from parts of different vehicles; a blue, white and red flag was being used as a curtain for one of the back windows; and it was currently being exited by an unlikely trio - a slender blonde, seemingly surgically attached to a cell phone; a redhead with platinum streaks in her spiky hair; and a quiet brunette, carefully holding a bundle...that he slowly realized was something moving...inside his hat...
"Ladies..." He managed a smile, as they entered the store.
"No, seriously, Randy, it's a freaking duck!" The blonde headed towards the beverage coolers, with a single distracted smile.
"Putain de canard..." The redhead muttered, shaking her head.
"Is there...anything I can help you with?" His accent, obvious with the extra words, made the redhead freeze in her steps...after a moment, she gave a heavy sigh.
"Is there a...a...tabarnak..."
"A garage, Michelle..." The brunette put a calming hand on the redhead's arm. "...we need a garage for the camper, and hopefully a vet for the duck..."
"Duck?" He raised an eyebrow.
"The duck hit us in the windscreen, on the highway...of course, my cousine is more concerned with the bird, than with us getting to Las Vegas, on time..." Michelle gave a carefully hidden glare to the creature in the hat. "I drive all the way from Canada, down to Denver, so we can have this family time, on the way down...and now, a freaking duck may make us miss everything..."
"It's my wedding..." The brunette retorted, softly, cradling the injured bird.
"How badly injured is it?" He leaned over the counter, to try for a better look.
"I think it's wing is broken."
"So is my windscreen..." Michelle muttered.
"Right." Wilbur straightened, and motioned towards the back of the lot. "We have a small garage, out back - my boss should be there, tinkering on his projects."
Michelle relaxed, with a disbelieving grin. "So not all of our luck is bad...thank you." She glanced towards the still jabbering blonde. "Tammy...I'm moving the camper, you keep her from spending all of our money on the damned duck!"
Seeing the look on the brunette's face, Wilbur gave her a soft smile. "Let me have a look - I know a bit, about birds..." His expression slipped, for a moment. "...and damaged wings..." He forced his expression back to pleasant reassurance.
"The other ducks all flew over the camper...she couldn't, for some reason..." She carefully pulled the duck out of the hat.
"I can see why..." He sighed, staring down at the extremely plump bird. "...she's egg bound."
"What?"
"She should have laid eggs, very recently...but she hasn't been able to, for some reason - I'm honestly surprised she was even flying, at all..." He rummaged behind the counter for a long moment, finally resorting to dumping the cat litter from the spill bucket back into the bag. "I hope this works...I'm not even sure how many hours away the nearest vet is..."
The brunette watched him, mildly perplexed, as he took the bucket to the sink, and stood there for several moments testing the water's temperature, before filling the bucket halfway. "But you know about birds?"
Wilbur chuckled. "My father...keeps crows."
The brunette smiled. "That's got to be a sign - a crow dropped the hat I put the duck in." She shook her head. "It was almost like it did it on purpose..."
"Really..." He managed to not speak through his teeth - barely. "Well, crows are known to be intelligent...perhaps that one happens to like the duck." What the hell...had the damned bird stolen his hat for just this reason, or later decided to offer his hat on the spur of the moment? Picking up the duck, he sighed. "In another strange stroke of luck..." He set the none-too-happy duck in the warm water, then turned his hat inside out, revealing the mess she'd made, inside. "...the impact with your camper may have actually helped, with the egg binding..."
"The eggs broke?" The brunette's eyes widened, almost comically. "But won't that hurt her?"
He shook his head. "It's one of the other treatments I'd have to consider, if the warm water doesn't work." The duck quacked in distress when he reached for her wing, the other flapping enough to send nearby small items flying. He gently calmed her, then went to rummage the shelves. "Once she's no longer egg bound, I'll wrap the wing - it'll likely heal in a couple of weeks."
"I don't think the hotel allows ducks..." Tammy pulled herself away from her phone long enough to point out.
The brunette gave him a half panicked look: he sighed, and nodded. "I'll keep her here until she heals, then release her."
"Thank you so much..." The brunette hugged him impulsively, then drew back, blushing deeply. "Now I won't be worrying about her, when I'm supposed to be celebrating..."
Tammy walked over, holding out her phone. "Your beloved would like a word..."
She blushed, deeply. "He's probably worried that I'll try to bring the duck..." Taking the phone, she walked towards the door. "Good morning, Mr. Beauregard..." Her smile and sugary tone made Wilbur snort.
"What kind of name is 'Randy Beauregard'..." He muttered.
"I know, right?" Tammy's response made him jump. "Sooo pretentious, and if you think that's bad..." She went into a litany of apparently nauseating romantic gestures that occurred often, between the couple, as Wilbur tended the duck.
Thankfully, Michelle stuck her head in. "Where's Toni?"
"Mrs. Antonia soon-to-be Beauregard is reassuring Randy that she's not replacing you with a duck."
Michelle rolled her eyes. "Bad enough that Fenton is stinking up the camper..."
Tammy's eyes widened. "Don't let Toni hear you say that..."
"Who the hell has a ferret for a ringbearer, anyhow?"
"A ferret..." Wilbur raised an eyebrow.
Michelle gave an exasperated sigh. "It's part of why we're driving from Denver to Las Vegas...apparently, no airline will allow them to fly in the cabin, and Toni wouldn't even think about letting Fenton be all alone, in the dark..." She shook her head. "So here we are, in an ancient camper, that stinks of ferret and weed, driving through the desert...but at least your boss is able to fix the windscreen, by some miracle - apparently, he has a friend at a junkyard, who has one that will fit, and he's willing to bring it here."
"That will take a couple of hours..." Wilbur smiled. "...but we'll have you back on the road very shortly after, I'd imagine..."
Michelle grinned. "And you'll have a little friend, to keep you company, once we're gone."
"I thought you didn't want to babysit." Quackity glanced at Eret, who was packing up the last of the helpful supplies they'd managed to pull from the already mostly looted woodland mansion...slowly enough that it was obviously an excuse to keep an eye on him.
"I believe my precise objection involved diapers."
Quackity smirked, but the corners of his lips trembled. "I'll be happy to handle the diaper changes...as long as I get to hold the baby..."
Hearing the tone of sadness and fear in his voice, Eret set aside her busywork, and made her way to his side. "You will, Quackity - after all, you have Death, Herself on your side...how many people can say that?"
"Philza...whose wings are injured...Fundy, who...well..." He looked away, trying to hide the tears pooling in the corners of his good eye. "...Wilbur..."
"Fuck Wilbur." Eret's flat tone didn't hide the anger behind the sentiment.
Quackity went from his breath catching as he tried to hold off sobs, to a mix of those and not entirely sane laughter. "That's what got us into this mess..."
"We'll get out of it..." Eret pulled him into a gentle embrace. "...one way, or the other..." Her eyes blazed, behind her sunglasses, glinting off of the windows: outside, Foolish looked up, met her gaze, and simply nodded, with grim understanding.
Sep3 Bsands Sep 10 LNF