Chapter Text
"Oh come on Minho you know the answer already!" Newt said exhausted, grabbing the coffee he had in front of him.
"I just think you're making up excuses and you don't know the real answer either, that's why I keep asking! So why this time?"
Newt raised his gaze from the swirling liquid in his cup and looked at his friend annoyed. "I didn't tell him anything because he might be disgusted! What if it rouins our relationship? I wouldn't be able to forgive myself"
The other boy scoffed, crossing his arms and showing his toned arm muscles for a second. "Newt, you've gotta be kidding me, you just finished telling me how he was flirting with you! Thomas might be an idiot but he is definitely not straight"
"And how are those two things related exactly?" The blond responded. "Plus you don't know that. He hasn't said anything about it and if you're wrong I'm killing you for making me hope for nothing"
Minho took a moment to answer, taking a sip of his own coffee, hoping it would help with the still present hangover. "Honestly I'm not sure, it made sense in my head. Either way the evening out was a great moment to tell him and you lost your chance"
"It's not like I had your support, you got hammered!"
"Didn't have my support? Where would you be without me?" His friend smiled as he pulled Newt's hotel room keys out of his pocket. "I gave you the perfect chance and you guys don't even kiss? I'm disappointed in you both"
"Oh my god I cannot believe you!" Newt was, and acted, annoyed at this, but he did feel like he had lost a chance. Afterall it was one if those rare moments when him and Thomas were alone together and Minho had served it to him on a silver platter. Damn it, I hate when he's right. Cursing himself inside, he exhaled a breath he had been holding.
While his friend was still smiling, probably thinking himself the smartest man in the room, the boy started talking again. "As much as it pains me, I have to admit you're not wrong. The bloody trip for our last highschool year was the perfect moment and I blew it". Newt hadn't had the time to realize it yet, but all his feelings were bubbling up in him right now and he took a big gulp of his coffee hoping it would help, the bitterness distracting him.
"Oh come on shank, I was just teasing you. There will be more occasions and it's not all lost. We still have our last night here and it's not like you won't see each other again" Minho smiled, this time more tenderly, trying to comfort his friend. "I guess I won't get shit faced tonight, if I really have to" he proceeded to roll his eyes dramatically, as if he had just announced he was gonna give Newt an organ.
"Thanks for the help Minho, what would I ever do without you?", the blonde replied sarcastically, but truly appreciating having a friend to talk about this with.
"Anytime shank" He said, raising his half empty coffee cup as if giving a toast. "Now let's go back in our rooms, this dumb coffee shop is way too bright and loud for me". Squinting his eyes Minho stood up, Newt following him.
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Newt sat on his bed, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to get the tiredness out of him. Minho is right he thought, there's still tonight, and I will keep seeing Tommy even after this trip. A warm sensation spread in his chest. It had been happening more and more often when he thought of Thomas. Thomas, his best friend, the guy who had been his only real friend throughout middle and highschool, the nicest person he knew. Thomas, so curious and kind, always trying to help anyone even if he had just met them. Thomas, skin so soft and warm, hair always messy but somehow always looking good, brown eyes Newt could just get lost in. Thomas, wet and warm just out of his shower, looking at Newt surprised but not annoyed, like he didn't mind being seen in such a vulnerable state by him. Would he have been uncomfortable if it was someone else and not me seeing him like that? Was it because we have known each other for so long? Could it be something else? Could he really like me back? If Minho is right then why wouldn't Tommy tell me that he's not straight?
Newt had told his best firend his sexuality almost accidentally, when they were still in middle school. Not really giving it much thought, he acted surprised when Thomas had asked him if he had a crush on any of the girls in their class. He couldn't understand the question as he just had never seen girls in that light, so he told his friend. Thomas, who was more social then him and had more friends, explained to Newt what "gay" meant, and that usually boys like girls. The blond had panicked for a moment, scared that his friend would think he was weird. He had been called gay as an insult before but he had just never bothered to learn what it meant. Thomas had reassured him that it was okay, and started talking to him about Teresa, one of the girls from their class and how he liked her. Newt hadn't really been listening to him, too concentrated on this new information, but feeling glad to have a friend who still accepted him. They hadn't talked about it again in the following years as it never really came up, except for the year that Newt developed the biggest crush on a boy from another class, Alby. It wasn't an uncomfortable thing to talk about between them, it was just never that influential in Newt's life. Until his third year of highschool. That's when he started really noticing the looks from the other kids, and the voices they were spreading about him. He felt isolated and left out, but Thomas never changed. He was a constant for him and never abandoned Newt despite the teasing from bullies, even going out of his way to stand up for his friend.
That's why Newt felt so unsure. Before bonding with Minho he had never been aware of how different Thomas treated him, and since his friend had pointed it out, the blond couln't stop noticing all the little things Tommy did for him. The way his voice changed when he addressed him, his body language becoming softer around Newt, small differences from how he treated his other male friends, but still noticeable if you paid attention. Newt had cursed Minho for this, as it had caused him to start noticing his own behaviours and feelings towards his two best friends. He just didn't feel for Minho the same fondness he did for Thomas, being close to him didn't cause the blond the same feeling in his gut, and he didn't blush as much around Minho.
Thomas made him feel warm.
But Newt didn't want to risk losing his friend by telling him how he had been feeling, especially knowing that he wouln't reciprocate. He wanted to keep it buried inside, hoping it would go away or become ignorable, but it hadn't. It had only grown stronger. Following Minho's advice he had finally decided to tell him, at least to get it off his chest, to let Thomas know before he noticed it himself and avoid the risk of his best friend and crush distancing himself from Newt.
So here he was, feeling hopeless after yet another lost chance, made worse by that bloody image of his Tommy coming out of the shower that he just could not get out of his head.
He knew he had to do it at some point and avoiding it had only made it harder to do.
Newt finally stood up, wanting to take a shower to relax before the day and yet another night out at the bar. They had found this nice place, close to the hotel, on the third day of their school trip, and since they were given free time during the evening they took the chance to hang out there. It was mostly Thomas, Minho and Newt but sometimes they would see a couple of their classmates go by and would occasionally join them.
Turning the water on and undressing, Newt was already looking forward to the warmth of the shower, and the evening out with his best friends. The trip had been fun but it was a lot of socializing for him and he wasn't used to it. As the water got warm enough he stepped into the hotel shower, but only after lingering for a second too long while watching himself in the mirror. Would Tommy like this?
Thomas's body was toned, enought to show the basic shapes of muscles but not too prominent. He had looked so handsome the previous night, and as much as Newt had enjoyed the sight, it did make him feel a bit inferior to his friend. He just looked too skinny, and was all too accustomed to the comments people always had about it. In the past he had tried to gain weigth, sometimes eating so much he felt sick. He had accepted now that it was just how his natural body shape was, an it was not healthy to obsess over it, but the insecurities never fully left. Sometimes when he was already feeling stressed they would come back to torment him and he would struggle to find a way to distract himself. This time the solution was closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of the warm water on his skin, as he tried to concentrate on just the pshysical sensation and nothing else, pushing all thoughts away. Except for Thomas. Thinking of him almost always helped, even though he hated to admit it.
After a couple of minutes of just relaxing Newt actually started to wash himself and noticed that he did feel calmer.
Good. He thought, glad that the spiral didn't pull him down this time.
Having finally finished, he got out of the shower and grabbed his towel, another reminder of the previous night. The boy blushed, the image creeping back in his mind's eye, and this time he allowed himself to look a little longer. A warm feeling spread in his abdomen, and as he let it grow it got stronger, more intense, and moved lower. It was almost painful but it also felt incredibly good. With his eyes closed he let one hand fall to his leg, the other still holding the towel. Newt was growing more and more excited at the thought of what he was about to let himself do, when his phone started ringing at full volume.
Nearly having a heart attack he jumped towards it, trying to answer with his still wet fingers. It was Minho.
"Dude where are you? You're 15 minutes late I've been texting you"
Still stunned and a bit ashamed, Newt answered "Oh fuck, sorry man, I completely lost track of time, I- I'm coming I promise It'll take me just a minute"
"It's not me you should be saying sorry to, Mr Jansen isn't very happy with you right now, you're lucky that you're not the only one who's late"
"Bloody hell tell him I'm coming okay? Bye", with a panicked motion Newt closed the call. Fuck I completely forgot about the bloody city tour. Grabbing the first clothes he could put his hands on, Newt got dressed and threw himself out of the room.
"Hey shank! Over here!" called Thomas. Newt gave Mr. Jansen an apologetic smile and a low "Sorry for being late", before joining his friends at the back of the group, who were laughing together.
"Hey" The blond said, still a bit dazed by the fast chain of events,
"I was-"
"In the shower ?" Interrupted Thomas. "Yeah, how did you-"
"Hair is still wet" Said Minho, laughing while interrupting Newt again.
Rolling his eyes the blond scoffed, "I didn't see the time, god forbid a guy washes himself".
"Is that all you were doing shank?", said Minho teasing him, eyebrows raised.
"Oh shut up Minho", Newt said, blushing, as Thomas laughed.
"Let's go, everyone who was late is here finally", Mr. Jansen said, shooting the three boys a look, and with that they joined the rest of the class to start their tour.