Chapter Text
The sand felt like thorns piercing his knees. His tears, falling into the sand, were cooled by the winds icy hands or washed away by the merciless waves.
The sky had long since put on its mourning vail, and only the stars and the lovely light of the moon dared to breach through the night's walls.
Hands clutched in front of his face, Carlos kneeled on the empty beach. Any efforts to hold back his tears were in vain. The truth—the reality that he‘d been left behind—was too great to endure.
And Carlos was tired of enduring.
He saw no reason to hold back any more. There was no one to hear his sobs; to listen to his weeping, and whatever was left of his shattered soul would be swallowed by the waves roar.
The pain of farewell pressed onto his chest like a heavy brick squeezed the air from his lungs. The dress he wore felt foreign on his body and clawed at his arms and legs like a false skin. He felt like a mannequin being ogled at by passersby through the shop window; only that one wrong move would reveal that he didn‘t belong. That he was an imposter.
Carlos‘s gaze found the stars, and he wanted to laugh at their irony. It was almost like they wanted to spite him; show him that the worlds Kal and Carlos came from were light years apart.
The tears didn‘t stop, and the darkness of the night remained. Carlos shivers increased with every passing second, but the iciness was a welcome sting as it overwhelmed the breathtaking pain of loss.
The waves slowly crept up on him, wanting to swallow him whole, and when the tides—their puppeteer, the moon—finally nipped at the hem of his gown, Carlos decided he would no longer fight their claws.
Pulling at the lace at his back, Carlos loosened the tightly fitted gown. The slipped out of skirts their colour, much like the see foam dancing on the waves.
His undershirt and briefs followed, falling into the cold sand.
His hair, which had been styled meticulously, was now ruled by the wind, and the sprays of water it carried had returned his straitened strands to their usual curls.
The water had blanketed his ankles when he stood naked, his cheeks streaked with tears, bare in front of the ocean. It was wild and unruly, and the dangers it held were not hidden; nevertheless, Carlos was done with fearing. Carlos was done with holding back.
Slowly, his feet carried him deeper into the ocean's arms. The water was ice cold, and the wind hit him with all its anger. Carlos didn‘t know if the tears falling from his eyes were caused by his grief or the ugly cold.
Nonetheless, his legs carried him deeper. With his thighs submerged and his hips following soon after, he came to a stop. The water now nipped at his belly, and Carlos was trying to control his frantic breath.
Looking into the distance, Carlos could see nothing but darkness, and for the first time in months, he felt like there was no one to pretend for. The only witnesses to his pain were the moon and stars, and Carlos knew they wouldn‘t tell.
He‘d revealed his desires often enough to know of their sealed lips.
Pressing his eyes shut, Carlos listened to the hissing of the tides and the rustle of the wind. With every new breath and every falling tear, he steeled his resolve and listened for the next wave ready to take him under.
He let it roll close, and once it was nipping at his body, he took one last breath and let his last tear fall before diving into the back waters.
Down on the ocean floor, there were no sounds. He let his limps fall and was carried by the current. It was bitingly cold, and the water felt like daggers on his back, but nothing of that mattered. There was something strange about this place, something Carlos had begged for all those months.
He listened closely and tried to catch it‘s constant presence, but there was nothing. Here beneath the surface, his head was finally silent.
The relief would have brought tears to his eyes, but there was no way for them to fall in the ocean.
Opening his eyes, Carlos glimpsed the surface. The moon was shining through, guiding even those who could not walk the earth. The salt stung his eyes, but he didn‘t care.
There was much worse pain to endure.
In the air bubbles floating to the surface, Carlos‘s reflection was mirrored, and although he could have mistaken it, he believed to see small rain clouds swirl in his eyes.
The need to fill his lungs with air again returned soon after.
He broke through the water and sucked in a deep breath. The wind was still beating at him and cooled the drops rolling down his skin. The night was the same, and the stars hung at their usual place, and the pain of having been left behind and of having lost Kal remained.
However, one thing had changed. The noise in his head did not return and had been washed away by the waves.
After the cold finally became too much to bear, Carlos returned to the shore.
His clothes had not been spared and were soaked through with the salty water. Left with no other choice but to put the gown back on, Carlos slowly walked back towards Cato‘s house.
The street lamps illuminated the empty neighbourhood streets, and Carlos watched his naked feet and soaked gown leave wet traces on the asphalt.
Arriving at Cato‘s house, nothing else but the ringing of the doorbell could be heard. His mother was the one to let him in, and the relief and shock on her face were forever burned into Carlos‘s memories.
„Carli? Where were you? We were so worried about you!“ She asked, touching him as if to check for injuries.
Not ready to meet her eyes, Carlos trudged past her. Walking up the stairs, he could feel the eyes of his father and Cato on him.
Not wanting anyone to follow him, Carlos pressed out an answer, „Went for a swim.“
Once he‘d arrived in his room, Carlos listened for footsteps. After a while of not even one small sound, Carlos tiredness finally pulled him under the covers of sleep.
The numbness of sleep didn‘t last very long because the next time Carlos opened his eyes, his breath felt too warm and his body too sensitive to move.
The day after Kal had left him, Carlos went into heat. Alone.
It quickly became clear that something had happened between Carlos and Kal. If the unanswered calls Cato consistently received or the pained cries for his mate Carlos couldn‘t keep from falling from his lips were the traitor, he didn‘t know.
Although he had only experienced it once before, he couldn‘t remember it being so bad. The heat he‘d expected to return and the desire he‘d thought to feel never came.
Instead, it had transformed into a burning, searing pain of sadness.
He‘d imagined how this heat would go. How Kal would help him calm and care for his every need. If they were at home, he would have invited him into his nest. Carlos would have held his ear to Kal‘s chest and listened to his heartbeat.
Maybe he would have fallen asleep to it‘s rhythm.
After a while, Carlos would have let his hands follow the lines of Kal‘s arms and feel every vein and muscle. He would have taken Kal‘s hand and placed it on his hips—an invitation to begin his own exploration.
He would have asked a thousand times if Carlos was fine with his advances, and Carlos would have assured him every time of his consent. When he would have begged for Kal and made clear what he needed, Kal would have kissed his shoulders.
He would have kissed along an invisible path and continued on to Carlos‘s throat before capturing wet lips with his own. Carlos would have pulled at Kal‘s shirt, eager to feel every piece of him.
Kal would have felt the same, and his painters hands, still stained with ink, would have found his body and felt it like a cartographer—the landscape before him.
If they had gone all the way, Carlos didn‘t know.
But it didn‘t matter anymore. After all, Kal was gone.
After watching Carlos suffer for the entirety of the next morning, they decided it would be best for them all to return home.
High on suppressants and sleeping pills, Carlos somehow survived the drive home.
The following weeks blurred together. After a few days of unbearable pain, Carlos developed a fever. A sore throat, as well as coughing and muscle aches, followed not long after, and Carlos internally cursed himself for taking a bath in the ocean in November.
It took almost three weeks to completely recover, and by then Carlos had missed two weeks of school.
Returning to his normal routine almost felt impossible. By now, the third years had left school and were staying home to prepare for the upcoming exams. Still, Carlos couldn‘t help but try to look for his tall frame in the crowds of the school hallway.
The glances of the others continued, and although Carlos knew they didn‘t know of what had happened, he had to fight to keep the tears from falling.
And the first two months after their breakup, Carlos returned home only for his tears to fall the moment the front door had locked behind him.
The press had lost interest in him as well, and although Blaz still stayed by his side most of the time, they stopped bothering Carlos and his family. There was nothing to report after all.
January came fast, and Carlos started to feel a bit lighter. Since the day he‘d set foot into his new school, Carlos had been running, trying to keep up with all the expectations thrown at him. For the first time in months, Carlos life had returned to normality.
A few days later, Carlos father was accepted into one of the city orchestras.
The pay wasn‘t too great, and his father would have to drive much longer to work every day from now on; he didn‘t seem to mind. To see his son smile for the first time in weeks was reward enough for him.
The next news that reached them was from Cato.
On the twenty-fourth of January, Cato gave birth to a girl.
His mother, who‘d kept in touch with him, showed him the photos right after he‘d returned from school. Seeing that little bundle sleeping peacefully in her father's arms, Carlos felt his frozen heart slightly crack, and a sliver of warmth filled his chest.
Her parents had named her Sole. After the sun.
After that, Carlos almost felt normal again. He went over to Feli‘s and told her about everything that had happened, and he even went shopping with Levi again.
Although it still hurt to think about it, Carlos slowly understood Kal‘s reasoning.
The feeling of simplicity and ease he now felt, free of the watching eyes of the public and without the constant fear of losing Kal, made him understand that trying to run as fast as one can doesn‘t automatically make one cross the finish line first.
It didn‘t take long for spring to return, and since they were living on an island, summer didn‘t take long to follow.
Two weeks before his last school day, Carlos's sombre mood returned.
The day of graduation made Carlos‘s sadness return, and in hopes of clearing his mind, Carlos invited Levi to the local aquarium.
He hadn‘t been there in a long time, although it had once been his favourite place. Before he had started at the new school, he‘d visited almost every week. When he‘d gotten up that morning, his eyes had caught the annual pass he‘d bought last year.
It had expired a few days ago, and Carlos felt upset. Since it had always been a space where he could sort his thoughts best and where his dreams and interests blossomed, he wanted to scold himself for not going sooner.
Inviting Levi came naturally since he‘d told Carlos that he wouldn‘t go to his brother's graduation. There had been some kind of two-people-for-every-graduate-only rule.
Carlos had hesitated at the cashier desk. An annual pass wasn‘t cheap after all, and he didn‘t want to spend pointless money again.
Nevertheless, in hopes of finding the calm and peace he‘d once had in this place again, Carlos ended up with the annual pass clutched in his fist.
They sat in front of one of the biggest tanks in the entire aquarium while the waters blue hue danced over their faces.
They were almost totally alone. Not many people seemed to have preferred an aquarium visit over the sunny, summer weather.
Carlos was fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt while watching a group of manta rays pass. It was calming watching them float through the water so effortlessly.
Gesturing at the annual pass around his neck, Levi asked,“ You here often?“
„I was.“ Carlos admitted truthfully. „ I forgot about it since I was a bit... preoccupied over the last months.“
Levi only nodded.
They watched a swarm of colourful fish swim by.
„Do you miss him?“
The question was asked in the silence of the dark room. Carlos turned to look at his friend, but Levi‘s gaze was still directed towards the tank. The blue light illuminated half of his face.
Carlos looked at the silver band around his finger.
„Terribly. In the beginning, it was so bad I could hardly breathe. It still is... sometimes.“
„Have you talked?“ Levi asked.
„No. Don‘t think it‘s a good idea.“
It would only stir up all the emotions Carlos had tried so hard to sort into little shelves and close the drawers. Kal would be leaving soon, anyway. If their relationship had already suffered so much while they were together, Carlos didn‘t even want to know what it would be like when they were several hours apart.
Levi was quiet for a while.
He seemed to consider his next words, unsure if he should bring it up. „I thought you‘d maybe gotten in touch again after his post.“
„Post?“ Carlos didn‘t know what his friend was talking about.
Levi‘s eyes widened, „The picture he uploaded? You haven‘t seen it?“
Carlos was already taking out his phone. „No. I haven‘t used my socials in months.“
Getting to Kal‘s profile was an easy task.
Even seeing him in photos made Carlos‘s heart ache a little. His profile gave Carlos strangely reminded him of Kal‘s desk. Drawings and sketches were scattered in between his photos.
His last post was a misfit in the crowd.
Kal enjoyed drawing with pencil or charcoal the most, the reason for his forever painter hands.
But the last painting he‘d uploaded was in full colour and, as far as Carlos could guess, drawn with oil paints.
But what made his heart beat faster and his breathing hitch was the fact that he felt like having looked into a mirror.
Beautifully detailed and in full colour was a moment that felt like a very long time ago. Carlos was lying on white sheets with dishevelled hair and closed eyes. He wasn‘t wearing a shirt, and the sun tinged his body in a yellow hue. His few and pale freckles could be seen on his red-spockled cheeks. Carlos couldn‘t remember what he‘d dreamed about, but there was a shy smile on his lips.
Never had anybody painted him. Never had anybody seen him in such simplicity; in such human nudity.
But Carlos was more touched by learning that this was how Kal saw him and that he‘d laid his heart open for everyone to see.
The caption was simple and only so that Carlos would understand.
Let‘s go sailing again some day, my love. Okay?
Carlos‘s tears had dripped onto his display, leaving behind little salty puddles.
„I didn‘t know...“ he cried. „It‘s so beautiful...He never... he never gave anything away.“
„It must have taken him a while.“ Levi agreed. „It‘s very detailed, and oil paint takes ages to dry.“
Since he‘d only posted it now, that probably meant that Kal had only finished it recently.
„I can‘t believe he still did this for me. I can‘t even thank him properly.“
Levi seemed to consider that. „You could try intercepting him at school, but I heard he‘s leaving for the mainland right after.“
„The mainland?“ Carlos asked confused.
„Don‘t know the details, but you could ask Blaz. He would probably know, right?“ Levi suggested.
Carlos decision was made. He needed to thank Kal and tell him that he would love to go sailing again.
Getting up, Carlos threw his bag over his head. „I owe you something, Levi.“
„Tell me how it went, and we are even.“
„Will do.“ Carlos promised, before hurrying past water tanks filled with fish and plants of all shapes and sizes. It felt a little bit like swimming through the ocean. But there was no time to think about that now; Carlos had a flight to catch.
Blaz had been looking at him perplexed when Carlos had asked him about Kal‘s whereabouts. Nevertheless, he didn‘t hesitate to call August once his initial shock had returned to his usual professionalism.
August explained that they had just arrived at the airport and that Kal was already at security. After explaining what was going on, August promised to try and help delay the start of the jet.
The drive to the airport took about thirty minutes, and Carlos‘s nervousness increased with each passing second. The hem of the old, oversized t-shirt he was wearing was already frayed, and Carlos‘s constant plucking only made it worse.
Apparently, Kal was flying with his family's private jet today, so they would have to enter a smaller, separate airfield. Blaz drove him up to the private terminal, where August was already waiting outside.
Getting out of the car, Carlos hurried over. „Where is he?“
„The jet hasn‘t left yet. But I believe he is about to board. His phone is turned off too, or it is already in flight mode.“
Carlos worried his lip between his teeth. „Fuck, Okay... Where is the jet? How do I get there?“
If Kal didn‘t want to come to him, then he would come to Kal.
August looked at him confused. „Onto the airfield? I don‘t think it‘s possible to go there, Carlos.“
„Can‘t you... I don‘t know, let your super-rich connections play?“
„It doesn‘t work like that, Carlos. Besides, I‘m a driver, not a member of the family.“
Carlos was getting more and more frustrated. „Well, then tell them his fiance needs to talk to him.“
August couldn‘t hide his shock. „Carlos, I don‘t believe-“
„Please! Just this once! I don‘t want to let him leave like this.“ Carlos begged; this really was his last shot.
August looked at Carlos for a while, seemingly fighting with himself and trying to find something in Carlos‘s face.
At long last, he seemed to have found what it needed to convince him. „Alright, I‘ll go ask. Please, wait here.“
Relieved, Carlos put a hand to his heart. „Thank you! Thank you so much, August.“
August only nodded before vanishing inside the small terminal. It took about five minutes before he returned.
„Get in the car. An escort will drive you and Blaz to the jet. But you‘ll have to give me your bag and get scanned first.“
„Oh god, thank you, August!“ Carlos said again.
„Now hurry or you‘ll miss him.“ August said, a smile slowly forming on his lips.
„Alright,“ Carlos said, getting back into the car.
August helped him with the door, but before closing it, he said, „Thank you for coming back, Carlos.“
After the security check, one of the airport's safety employees drove them onto the airfield. He‘d looked at Carlos a bit, doubting when he‘d first seen him, but he hadn‘t voiced his concerns, so Carlos didn‘t think about it any longer.
The drive didn‘t take long, and when the car stopped, Carlos could see the jet. Kal stood at the foot of the stairs and was just about to get onto the plane.
Carlos‘s heart flared like a breaking wave, and he could hear the rush in his ears. Carlos was out of the car before the airport employee could say anything against it and ran towards the jet. Kal hadn‘t seen him yet and was already on top of the stairs when Carlos decided to call for him.
Breathless for running and the excitement in his chest, Carlos shouted, „Kal! I‘ll go on a sailing trip with you! Whenever you want!“
Kal turned around on top of the stairs, and when his eyes connected the voice he‘d so desperately dreamed of hearing again with the person he wanted to have by his side every damn day for the rest of his life, he couldn‘t believe that he was here.
Kal hurried down the stairs, and as easily as the sun on the horizon and the ocean met every sunset, Carlos melted into the arms of his lover.
Carlos pressed his head firmly against Kal‘s chest, breathing in that salty scent he‘d so missed. Kal nuzzled Carlos hair, burying himself in those long, unruly curls. Carlos tears fell like rain, and his arms clung hard onto Kal‘s shoulders and back. His lover's arms entwined his waist, his grip firm and almost as if they would never part again.
Sobbing Carlos tried to speak, „I‘ll go sailing with you again. I understand why you left. I really do, Kal. But please don‘t push me away...“
Kal cupped Carlos‘ cheeks, and Carlos got to see his beautiful face for the first time in months. His mole was just as perfect as he remembered.
„Oh, my love...“ Kal began. „I‘m sorry...so terribly sorry... I should not have left you like that.“
Looking at his reddened eyes, Carlos wiped one of his tears away. „No, you shouldn‘t have. But I understand, Kal. It might not have been the way to go about it, but... It has helped me out of the hole I had fallen into.“
„I didn‘t want to be the reason for your pain, Carlos.“ Kal explained. „I want you to thrive and not have your happiness be shadowed by the problems I cause you.“
„I understand, Kal. I‘m not angry.“ Carlos said again, feeling like Kal hadn‘t really believed him the first few times.
„You are not?“
„No. Not anymore.“
„Okay.“ Kal said, as if trying to convince himself.
„I love the way you painted me.“
„That‘s how I see you, my love. You are so beautiful... I want people hundreds of years from now to bask in your fineness.“
Carlos had to chuckle, „Fineness?“
He doubted that both of them emitted a picture of fineness at the moment. While Kal looked his most handsome in a modern black suit with slicked back hair, giving off the impression of the young business heir he was, Carlos rather gave off the impression of someone who‘d lounged on the couch all day.
His oversized shirt and the baggy washed-out shorts he wore, as well as his old worn-out sneakers, must make him look like the complete opposite of Kal.
„Yes, you're delightful to look at.“ Kal returned.
They were interrupted by a woman, whom Carlos guessed was a stewardess. It seemed as if their reunion needed to come to a fast end.
„I'll go to the capital when I return from this trip, Carlos. I want...“ he began, having a hard time speaking what both of them knew was necessary. „I want you to use the next two years to do all of the things you dream of. I want you do get as many experiences as possible, so when... when we meet again, I‘ll have done everything possible to have a relationship with you again.“
„I promise, Kal. But I want you to do the same. I want you to paint until you no longer have any space left in your room, and I want you to go sailing and play the piano so much you get tired of it. Please, do all the things you love.“ Carlos urged him.
„I will. And when I tire of it all, I will look at the calendar and see that two years have passed in a blink of an eye. I will watch the one person I love most walk over the stage I did today, and then I will never let you go again.“ Kal promised.
„I can‘t wait.“
Nuzzling their foreheads together, the both of them enjoyed their last moments together. Carlos breathed in Kal‘s scent, willing it to never leave his nose again. When they parted, Kal stroked his cheek for the last time.
„Farewell, my love. I‘ll see you again.“
„Goodbye, Kal. Know that I love you.“ Carlos said, his heart aching seeing Kal walk up the steps slowly.
„I love you too, Carlos.“
The small tears falling from his eyes were impossible to hold back, and every step Kal took made clear that it would be a very long time before they would see each other again. They would, and that gave Carlos hope.
When Kal had vanished into the jet and the door had been closed, Carlos felt Blaz‘s hands on his shoulders. „Please, step back, sir. The plane‘s about to start.“
Watching the jet slowly roll out onto the runway, Carlos again could see all the differences between Kal and himself. They were really from two totally different worlds.
Luckily, Carlos thought, I don‘t care.
The flight would take about three hours. There would be a car waiting for him when he arrived. August had called their external headquarters ahead of time since all of this was a rather secret affair.
The only one who truly knew where he was going was August, and although he‘d offered to accompany him more than once, Kal had declined.
This was something he would have to do alone.
He‘d been nervous since this morning. Being responsible for the graduation speech had certainly been part of it, but it hadn‘t lessened the feeling in his stomach.
When he‘d boarded the jet and heard a very familiar voice calling his name, the nervousness had vanished instantly and was replaced by overflowing relief and hope.
Seeing Carlos again, breathing in his scent, and feeling his skin had been everything Kal had needed right now. Since the moment he‘d left him at that beach, there had been a piece of Kal‘s heart missing.
He‘d posted the painting because he‘d wanted to show the world how beautiful he was. It was definitely his best work, but that hadn‘t been hard with Carlos as his muse.
Being assured that they would see each other again and that their relationship had not ended yet was the most calming news Kal could have received.
It helped him concentrate on something else, and Kal spent almost the next three hours sketching Carlos how he‘d stood, tears in his eyes, watching Kal depart.
He arrived late afternoon.
He had no baggage to claim since he was planning on flying back this evening. The car stood ready when he arrived, and Kal didn‘t waste any time getting on his way.
It took him almost an hour before he arrived at his destination.
The residential area his phone had let him to seemed to be a rather new area. The houses looked to be pretty new and well kept. None of them looked cheap, as well. To be expected of a place so close to the main city.
Parking the car besides the road, Kal walked the rest of the way.
The house he arrived at was a very modern, minimalistic family home. It had a big window front and a well-kept but completely bare garden. There were not even flowers growing on the lawn.
If Kal didn‘t know otherwise, one could have believed this house to be empty.
Walking up to the front door, Carlos tried to put on a calm exterior. Luckily, he‘d had more than enough practice in displaying indifference.
Kal rang the bell before letting his hands vanish into his trouser pockets. His hands could betray his nervousness.
The house seemed eerily quiet. There was no sound coming from inside, and Kal almost believed no one was home. It took almost a minute before he could hear steps coming.
The woman that opened the door looked as if she‘d just been asleep. Her back length, pitch black hair cascaded down her back. Her dress pants were dragging on the floor and looked crumpled. The halter top she wore was ridden up her hips and also reinforced Kal‘s theory that she‘d just been sleeping.
Taking a pull of her cigarette held between long nails, her sharp eyes scanned Kal from head to toe. Her make-up had been smudged and made her eyes look dark. Her entire face was made of sharp edges that gave her a very intimidating impression. Nevertheless, she was no doubt beautiful.
Her initially wary expression turned into recognition, and before Kal could introduce himself, she spoke in a very smoky voice, „I‘ve been wondering when you would show up.“
„I didn‘t know I would be expected.“ Kal returned.
Ninosca Vallath only huffed. „Getting involved with your kind will forever result in a shadow. Now get in; I believe you have a reason for your visit.“
The house was almost bare from the inside. Ninosca let him through an empty hallway before gesturing for him to take a seat on a black leather sofa.
Pouring an orange liquid into a crystal glass, Ninosca asked, „Are you old enough to drink?“
Kal might be old enough to drink, but he really wasn‘t interested in the taste of Bourbon whisky at the moment.
„Something light for me. I will have to drive later.“
Setting down a glass of water in front of Kal, Ninosca took a seat on the sofa across from him. Eyeing him, she took a swig of her drink and cigarette each.
Blowing out the smoke, she settled her sharp gaze onto Kal. „I don‘t have all day, boy. Tell me what you came here for.“
„I‘m not here to reprimand you for what you did. I don‘t care for the money you stole.“
„Have more than enough, don‘t cha?“ She commented scornful.
Kal decided to ignore her jab. „I want to know about my father. Is it true that you two were mated?“
The question made Ninosca laugh, „I didn‘t take you for such a bold creature.“
Kal was getting more and more annoyed by her games. „Did you?“
She took another pull of her cigarette, „What is it to you? Do you want to know if he was born an asshole or if I made him one? I‘m sorry to disappoint, but the monster you call your grandfather had already preceded me. Mating bite or not.“
Kal was more and more confused by it all. „Then why did you mate him at all?“
Ninosca seemed to think about her answer. „Well, I needed the money, and I was young and foolish. I believed the boy I had once known to be still in there.“
„So he wasn‘t like this since the beginning?“
She had to laugh at that again, this time a little louder than before. Drowning her drink and pouring another Ninosca looked at him with mock pity. „Oh, your father is a shitty person. He might have been influenced by your grandfather, but it takes two to change someone, and your father definitely wasn‘t putting up much of a fight.“
„But you still mated him?“ Kal wasn‘t surprised that his father had been born an asshole.
„He was easily charmed. He begged for the love he‘d never received, and I saw the opportunity and didn‘t hesitate to take it. I let him bite me, and I bit him. Played his little love game. When I had enough to last me a lifetime, I left without looking back. Hadn‘t expected to fall head over heels for me though.
So I apologise if I might have left a scar on his neck.“ She said all of this in a mocking tone, clearly not caring for the way her actions had made his father turn more and more into a monster.
Kal was getting angry, „You apologize? Do you even have an idea what you caused?“
„If you are talking about that boy who killed himself, I advise you to look for the blame in your own house.“ She said, full of indifference. Still, her eyes didn‘t seem to be able to look at Kal, which only angered him more.
„You have no idea what you are talking about! It might not have been my father's hands around his neck, but he killed him! He killed my brother! I will not allow you to sully his name!“
Her cigarette was almost finished by now.
„It is remarkable that a man like him had a kid like you.“ She said, looking at him with those dark eyes.
„I‘m not my father.“ Kal said hard, disgusted by the thought.
Ninosca set down her glass and put out her cigarette with wet fingers. The sizzling noise could be heard in the quiet room. „No, you are not. I‘ll tell you a story if you want the truth, but I doubt you will like the ending.“
Kal only looked at her. He was sure she understood him even without words.
She made herself comfortable on the sofa, crossing her legs and laying one arm over the backrest.
„After I had decided to leave, I took my mother and ran. Hiding from one of the most influential men in the country was not an easy task, after all. I knew my betrayal would not be taken lightly, and I wondered if all the money I stole would have even been worth forever living on the streets.“
„Staying at one place for too long was dangerous, and I knew leaving the country would be our only chance at freedom.“ Ninosca chuckled again, „But I knew he would be controlling the airport, and going by ship wasn‘t even on the table for obvious reasons.“
Her expression started to become thoughtful, and for some reason her eyes looked glazed, as if the smoke had made them tear up. „I needed something to threaten him, something to keep him away, but I came up empty-handed.“
Her eyes locked with Kal‘s while she spoke her next words. „It was not until two months after we ran that I started to get sick. Every morning I felt like vomiting. It didn‘t take us long to realise what was going on.“
Kal wanted to accuse her of lying. Tell her to stop making up stories. „My father only had three children.“ Kal said instead, trying to ground himself with what he knew was the truth.
Ninosca‘s huff didn‘t have the usual bite. Instead, she looked almost sad.
„I gave birth to the boy in some dirty motel not far from your fathers flat. I placed him at his doorstep the same day.“
Kal wanted to deny what she‘d said. What she implied. His brother... His brother was never-
„I didn‘t even get to name him.“ Ninosca said, her voice breaking. „A few months later I read an article where he was mentioned.“
Kal didn‘t want to hear it, but the words spilled over her lips before he could stop her.
„Frederick? Wasn‘t it? I believe it means peace.“