Chapter Text
It had been about a week or so since that night, the two of them had watched as Eren had started the rumbling. Armin had resorted to writing in the dirt with a stick to communicate with Jean because of the stitches keeping him from talking. No matter what they tried the thread wouldn't come loose, they had even attempted straight-up yanking on them but even in death the pain of doing so was too much.
Jean sat against a rock. He was running his hands over the stitching on his neck, he still struggled to accept the fact that the only thing keeping his head on his body was thin fiber. Every day he thanked Armin for his handy work and for putting his pain aside and helping him first, and every time the blonde just smiled the best he could and turned away again.
Now and then they would see people, but most times they didn't stay long, especially after coming across two rotting corpses. Jean hated seeing their bodies, it was a constant reminder that they were dead.
Dead...
They were dead.
The two of them would never breathe again, never have blood flowing through their veins again, never do anything impactful ever again.
Death was a lot more boring than he thought, specifically the afterlife. Jean knew some people believed in heaven or hell, some religions believed in purgatory, and there were so many ideas of the afterlife. Yet, at least for him and Armin, it was just roaming the land they once walked when they still had a beating heart in their chest.
What a letdown, he thought.
Jean looked at the tree up ahead, Armin sat against it, staring at the lifeless, rotting corpse that hung from the branches. No matter how many times Jean had told him to stop doing that and that it wasn't helping, Armin continued coming back to it.
Armin seemed so distant now and Jean felt helpless to do anything about it. Jean wanted nothing more than to pull Armin close and tell him everything would be okay, but he couldn't bring himself to look at his friend for longer than a few moments. Armin's entire body was evidence of the horrors and pain he felt.
Even trying to fathom what Armin had gone through made Jean hurt. He couldn't imagine the fear he felt, or being in his shoes. Knowing that you could regenerate your injuries at any time but feeling unable to because it would mean risking another person's safety felt like hell to think about. Jean knew that that was the reality that Armin had faced and he hated it. He hated it so damn much. Jean wished Armin had forgotten all about him and transformed the second the blade touched his skin, hell, Jean would have settled for him just regenerating.
But no, Armin wouldn't do that. The boy cared too much for others, putting the needs of the many before the needs of the few, even if it meant his death, a painful one at that.
What good was his self-sacrifice if both of them died anyway?
Jean didn't notice Armin in front of him till he was being shaken out of his thoughts. He had to physically bring himself to keep his gaze on the shorter man, Armin's left eye still hung by the nerves connected to the inside of its socket, it was downright horrifying to look at. Armin was downright horrifying to look at. Not because it was necessarily scary to see, gore didn't phase Jean after what he had seen with the titans but because it was scary to come to terms with the fact that all this happened to his friend.
This happened to the sweet boy who would spend his free time during the cadet days reading in his bunk, to the blonde who dreamed about the sea and was always looking for a chance to rant about it, someone he cared about.
It scared him because whenever he saw Armin, it was like Marco all over again.
Jean set aside his disturbance and focused on what Armin needed, immediately he could tell that he was either shocked about something or distressed.
That's when he heard a familiar voice, Connie.
"Hange, are you sure there isn't a faster way to get to the docks?"
Now he knew what Armin needed him for, someone was coming, someone, they knew. Jean immediately got up and walked over to the tree, he could see the tall grass moving. From what he could see it seemed like it wasn't just Connie and Hange. Jean didn't know what to do, they were about to see their dead bodies. How would they react? Then he heard Hange speak up.
"Yes, this is the fastest way, if our theory about the Yeagerists having Armin and Jean captive is correct, then they would be at the docks."
Jean felt his heart sink. Their friends had no clue what had happened, they had no clue that they were even dead, and they were about to walk straight into their corpses. Armin grabbed onto Jean, he had come to the same conclusion as the taller one.
The grass parted and Hange stepped out from it, looking in the other direction. "I think there might be a dead animal or something, I can smell some-" She was cut off once she felt something at her feet. The irony of the situation made everything feel heavier than it already was. She had seen Jean's body first, or at least his head considering that's what she bumped into.
"Wha- no fucking way- I..."
Hange couldn't speak, and Jean cringed at her discovery. As the other members of their party came through the grass around and behind her, they froze. Depending on which way they were facing was whose body they saw first. Surprisingly Reiner and Annie were also with them, but he didn't dwell on that. It was so painful to watch them find his and Armin's body.
Jean could feel Armin clutch his wrist tighter as Mikasa came into view. "Is that Jean?" She asked, her breathing was fast and she seemed incredibly startled. She turned her head towards the tree and let out an audible gasp. "Shit- Armin!" she said before approaching the body that dangled from the tree. To say that she was horrified would be an understatement.
Everyone was dead quiet. It was such a shocking sight to see that it seemed that they couldn't even find the words to say anything. Jean could see tears forming a a few people's eyes. "So this is what happened to them..." Connie said quietly as he stared at Jean's head. "This is more than cruel."
Mikasa nodded her head in agreement, she was crying but was silent. Suddenly someone they had never seen before spoke up, he had dark hair and seemed to be Marleyan. "Were these people friends of yours?"
Hange nodded as she continued staring at their bodies. "Yes, they were two soldiers in my regiment, one of them also held the colossal titan." The man looked a bit concerned as she said that. "So, were these the two boys we were hoping were at the docks?" He asked. Surprisingly Reiner spoke up. "Yes general, they were." Even the two warriors looked somber.
Suddenly Mikasa spoke up again "What do we do with them? We can't just let them rot here." Hange let out a sigh. "I think we have to, after we get our hands on the flying boat, we're going to straight to stop the rumbling. The best we can do is come back for their bodies if we live," she said.
It was like a shadow was cast over the group, they didn't want to leave their friends to rot, it felt wrong. They deserved better. "Are you sure?" Mikasa asked. Hange could only nod in response. "We have to keep moving... we have to meet the cart titan up ahead."
Jean suddenly became aware that there was no pressure on his wrist anymore. Armin was approaching Mikasa. He touched her on the shoulder and she shivered and turned to him. She couldn't see either of them, no one could, but Jean was almost started that they could sense them. Mikasa seemed a bit freaked at the sudden chill and how her breath was visible in the air but slowly followed the rest of the group as they left.
Armin turned to Jean, he seemed panicked as he tried to talk. It seemed he had forgotten the stitches holding his mouth shut. Jean grew concerned as he watched the other man try yanking on them again. "Armin stop." He said before approaching him to get him to stop, and for the first time, Armin was able to undo some of the stitches.
"Jean- we have to follow them!" Armin said the best he could. "Mikasa could feel me when I touched her, what if there's a way we could still get through to them?" Jean froze for a second, Armin was right, but what if they couldn't? The blonde already seemed in a state that could only be described as manic, Jean didn't want to make it worse by getting his hopes up and then it not be true.
"Armin- I know you want to be able to tell them we're okay but for one, look at us, we are dead people walking. They probably would not react calmly to that. And second, we have no proof that we can talk to them or get through to them in some way." Jean said.
Armin was too far deep in his mind to be reasoned with. "Look, either way I'm going, you can follow me if you want." And with that, he took off after them.
Jean took a second to truly process what had just happened. Once he came back to his senses he chased after Armin. "Armin- wait the hell up!"
Armin stopped and turned around to face the taller one. "Are you coming or not?" He asked. Jean could only stare at him. "Fine, but don't just take off like that again."
The two of them followed the group to the docks. They watched from the Hilltop as the fighting broke out. "What do you suppose we do now?" Jean asked. Armin seemed determined on something but the question that was nagging at him was what, ever since the night they died the blonde had seemed off and Jean could only consider their corpses being discovered as his snapping point. Armin was spiraling and it was pretty clear.
"We help them." Armin said quietly. Jean just looked at him in disbelief. "And how exactly are we supposed to do that when they can't even see us? Armin you are going fucking crazy, I get that what happened to you was terrible but we are dead and we need to accept that." Jean said, his voice rising. Armin turned to look at him, he was not in the right state of mind. "Exactly, what do we have to lose? If it doesn't work, well at least we tried. Why are you so dead set on giving up? why can't you let me try?!" He yelled.
For the first time, Jean could see the desperation and anger in Armin's eyes. He realized he had been wrong about him, Armin wasn't sad that he was dead, he was mad. "I was chosen to be saved 4 years ago and I still owe it to him! I refuse to just give up!" Armin continued.
Suddenly noticed something he hadn't before, somebody was staring directly at them.
Floch was standing on the roof of the nearby building, staring at them in shock. Most of the fighting on their side of the docks had died down because most were just staring at them.
People could see them.
Their friends could see them.
Armin quickly noticed this too, Jean watched him as he looked around. Getting through to them was exactly what Armin had thought it would be because he quickly froze up. Within seconds Armin was gone. Jean immediately went back to the tracks, one of the plus sides of being a ghost was the ability to just appear and disappear wherever you wanted.
As he looked around, just as he suspected Armin had come back here as well. The blonde sat against the tree just staring at Jean. He walked over to him and sat down next to him against the tree. "I thought you wanted to be seen? Why did you leave the second you realized that they could see us?" Jean asked him. Armin looked at him before replying. "I don't know. I guess I just didn't expect it to be that easy... It doesn't feel right..."
"Armin, the reason it doesn't feel right is because it's not right. We are not supposed to interfere with them, if we were supposed to continue fighting we would still be alive."
Armin suddenly disappeared again before returning a moment later. He seemed to notice Jean's confused face because he explained what he had just done "I went to where they were, they are on a boat to Odiha to get the flying boat set up. Connie, Reiner, and Mikasa had seen us and were pretty freaked out about it. I think we might have fucked up."
Jean nodded. "Why do you think they could see us when we were at the docks?" He asked. Armin sighed before speaking up "I was just so pissed off about the fact that I couldn't do anything to help... I feel even more worthless than when I was alive... I think maybe it was because of that but I have no clue."
Jean pulled Armin closer and held him. "I promise you're not worthless now and you weren't when you were alive..." He said as he buried his face in Armin's hair.
The two stayed like that for a long time. They finally moved when Connie, Mikasa, Reiner, and Annie came to retrieve their bodies. They must have been like that for days or weeks even without even noticing.
"Do you want to follow them?" Jean asked Armin, but he shook his head and watched their friends leave. "No... I think it's time to move on."