Chapter Text
INEJ
Inej groaned as she flopped down onto her bed. Nina looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
“I’ve ruined it all, haven’t I,” she said. It was a statement, not a question.
“Maybe.” Nina shrugged.
Inej groaned even louder. “I’m calling Jesper.”
“What, am I not good enough for you?” Nina pouted.
“You’re not on my side. Jesper would be.”
“Are you sure about that? He’s so close to Kaz … and we haven’t even told him about what has … ah, gone down between the two of you.” Nina moved to Inej’s bed.
“That’s the point. I’ll make him be on my side. But enough of that.”
Inej flopped off the bed, picked herself up off the floor, and headed towards the door.
“Wait!” Nina tripped off her beanbag and almost stumbled into a countertop. “Ahem. Sorry.” She coughed, not letting the embarrassment show on her face. “Where are you going?”
Inej rolled her eyes, but she could feel a smile fighting its way onto her lips. Nina was determinedly desperate sometimes.
“I’m heading to the seminar? Remember? About student growth potential, and homework tips, and whatever.” She could feel the ridiculousness of the words as she said them. Normally, Inej would not have wanted to go to a student growth seminar. She still didn’t, not really. But right now, she just needed to get her mind off all the drama, and she was worried that her friends would just further remind her of the predicament she was knee-deep in.
Nina groaned. “Boring! Come on—you have one short life, and your wasting it on homework tips that we both know you’re never going to use?”
Inej walked out the door, but with a smile on her face.
As she walked down the hallway, she passed Tolya, chatting with who Inej assumed were his sister and her girlfriend. He caught her eye as she passed, and gave a little wave. She sort smiled back, but it felt more like a grimace. Thankfully, Tolya seemed to take the hint, and didn’t move over to talk to her.
Inej knew that if she brought her problem to Tolya, he would’ve tried to help. He was just that kind of guy. But she wasn’t feeling extremely friendly today.
-
The main doors to the campus were wide open to let in the crisp fall breeze and flood of students. Inej joined the crowd of students heading outdoors, and let her mind wander. To other things. Her gymnastics routine. Her self-defence classes. Her next art project.
Inej was so engrossed, she almost walked past the lecture hall. She walked up to the double doors, holding one open for a younger-looking girl. The girl didn’t acknowledge her, but Inej felt good about it nonetheless.
She sat down in the first empty seat she saw, and threw her pen and notebook down. Loud chatter, indistinct and echoey, filled the room. Everybody was laughing and talking. Inej was beginning to wonder if there was actually going to be a presentation at all, until, a middle-aged man came up to the front of the room, coughed, and, tapping the microphone, said:
“Hello? Is this thing on?” He had wispy grey hair, and watering eyes. He looked like he could use a glass of water, and maybe a shower. “Good afternoon, class.” He paused. “Glad you could all make it! You’re in for a treat today!”
Someone sat down next to Inej hurriedly, but she didn't look up.
Think homework.
She picked up her notebook and pen, planning on pretending to take notes.
The professor began the presentation with a few slides on the importance of organisation. Then a slide on mindset. Then a slide on a different mindset. Then a slide on writing techniques. Then a slide on …
Inej’s eyes started drooping. She’d stayed up late, what with all the drama, and had had trouble falling asleep besides. She didn’t think that the professor would notice if she stole a couple minutes of sleep, but she didn’t want to risk the possibility of drooling in her sleep. That would be embarrassing.
The professor clapped his hands, and Inej jolted upright.
“Alright! Will everyone please turn to your neighbour beside you and share your ideas about how to achieve personal success? I will be walking around to monitor you all. No seat-switching; this will be your partner for the rest of the seminar.”
Inej turned to the person next to her. And what did she find? Coffee-brown eyes. Black hair. He was watching her intently, with a strange and rather unfamiliar expression on his face. And—Saints bless her rotten luck—he was none other than Kaz Brekker.
Why was he here? Why was he sitting right by her? Surely there were tons of other seats in the lecture hall—
Inej looked around. The lecture hall was packed with students.
He kept staring at her. She huffed, and glared at him. He did not look away.
“Listen, Inej. I don't—”
She held up her hand.
“No, Kaz. Just … write something down about your brilliant study habits.” She turned, hating the rush of feelings that his eyes gave her.
“Students?” Inej flinched. Professor Lindstrom glanced at the blank page in Kaz’s lap. “Please use this time effectively, instead of making idle chit chat, hmm?”
Kaz nodded, and shoved a lock of hair out of his face.
Inej was shaking with anger. As the teacher walked away, she glared daggers at Kaz.
“So, Inej, what does personal success mean to you?” Kaz asked, crossing his arms over his chest and smirking slightly.
Inej rolled her eyes, fully intending to making up some gibberish about happiness and her math problems, or whatever. “It means … trying to reach my goals, no matter how high they are or how tough things get. It means valuing the person I am, even if I know I can’t reach those goals. It means still making them; still being right here, in this moment, to make them.” Inej inhaled, finally meeting Kaz’s eyes. “It means forgetting what other people did, to focus on what I can do.”
Kaz said nothing. His face was impassive, but Inej had learned to look pass those boundaries. He was … a little ashamed. He was pitying her.
… Not what she had wanted, exactly. But it was better than trying to get back at her.
Then Kaz started writing.
Inej’s brows drew together. She was confused; was he really taking notes on her speech? Wrong place, wrong time, Kaz.
Then he passed the piece of paper to her.
You blocked me. Don’t think I didn’t notice that.
All I’m trying to say is, I was never with Leoni. That was to make you jealous … and I guess it didn’t work. I can’t take the credit, though—it wasn’t my idea.
Can’t wait to hear how things go with your new boyfriend.
- K.
Inej looked up. Kaz was grabbing his things.
“Kaz—”
“I don’t need to hear your apologies, Inej. I get it.”
“No, Kaz—wait—”
But he was already heading out the door.