Chapter Text
“I think we should summon the ghost of your great grandmother.” Declared Seonghwa one day.
“What for?” Asked Hongjoong.
Seonghwa rolled his eyes. It was obvious. The ghost of the great grandmother might not have been aggressive towards them (after all, they were still alive, even though it’s been a year since Hongjoong moved in), but Seonghwa was getting annoyed with possessed household appliances. The oven was opening itself at random times, the fridge made sounds like fiat 126p (the kind of car Seonghwa’s granddad once had), and the dishwasher broke his favorite cup more than once. He decided that they have to confront Hongjoong’s great grandmother to find out what she wanted from them. Maybe then they would have more peace.
He took Hongjoong’s hand and led him to the living room. Seonghwa had everything prepared: chalk to draw a pentagram and runes (which he consecrated during Polyphony… or something sounding similar, Seonghwa wasn’t a christian), 13 white candles (he bought them in target) and the book which belonged to their ghost. He needed only one thing.
“Name and surname.”
“Kim Hongjoong?”
“Your great grandmother’s, not yours.” Said Seonghwa, facepalming. Sometimes his friend’s foolishness was downright painful.
“You should have said so! Kim Halazia.”
“Wonderful.”
Seonghwa tactically drew a pentagram and summoning sigils, after which he aligned the candles, lighting them. He put the book in the middle.
“Manifesting Kim Halazia. Hala- Hala- Hala- Hala- Halazia… Hala- Hala- Hala- Hala- Halazia…” He sang, ignoring Hongjoong’s confusion.
After a moment a very short woman appeared in front of them. Seonghwa could see the family resemblance right away. She was wearing a long, black coat with silver ornaments. Her face was hidden by a mask with spikes. She had a black fedora on her head. Nice fit.
“Great grandmother Halazia?” Asked Hongjoong.
“Stop it with this ‘great’ thing. I am not that old! You must call me just ‘Granny’.” She crossed her arms and crushed them with her gaze. Then, she smiled and the boys quickly discovered that she was quite the chatter.
After a quick conversation, it turned out that granny Halazia was a very anti-government and anti-police person. It wasn’t too surprising for Seonghwa. After all, as a witch, she must have been persecuted by them.
She told them as a fun fact, that she created a special abbreviation HWDP, which meant Halazia’s Way of Defying Police, and was used by many young beings who hated the law. She also made them swear that they would never trust the cops. Then, she started telling them about her experiences with the police.
“...And if it wasn’t for that damn injury in 1989, they would have never caught me and burned me at the stake!” She spat to the side.
“You lived in 1989, Granny?” Asked surprised Hongjoong.
“I was a witch after all! Your boyfriend here didn’t tell you how witches’ lives work?” She pointed at Seonghwa, who wanted to say something to her but she clapped her hands and continued. “By the way, I can see a bright future ahead of you two. You’ll be parents of 6 children.”
“I think it’s not biologically possible…” Said Hongjoong, after his face suddenly turned red.
“Who said they’re gonna be biological? Children found on streets or won in bags of chips are the best.”
“You’ve ever won children in bags of chips, Granny?” Asked Seonghwa.
“And not just once! Ah, those were the times, now it’s not that fun… I would like to eat some chips. Do you have a bag of chips?”
Seonghwa immediately went to the kitchen and brought cheese and onion-flavored chips for her. It was the safest option to obey every command of the summoned spirit. After all, they didn’t want to anger a dead witch, who owned this house.
“By the way…” Said Granny, loudly chewing on her snack. “You’ll have to fight against other groups, like those Xdinary Heroes.”
“Why would we want to fight against heroes?” Asked Hongjoong.
“They are heroes in name only! Remember that guy that almost shot your man?” She pointed at Seonghwa. “It was Gunil, their leader! You’ll also have to fight with vampires, werewolves, goblins and mafia.” She counted on her fingers.
“May we sign out of this?” Seonghwa has already seen thousands of things that could go wrong and cost them their lives in his head.
“Nope. You’ll train a little and it’s all gonna be fine.”
“Where are we supposed to train?” Asked Hongjoong.
“What do you mean, ‘where’? In the basement of course!”
“We have a basement?” Hongjoong was getting more and more confused by the moment.
“Have you even explored this house at all?” Asked Seonghwa.
“You haven’t noticed anything while cleaning either!”
“Be quiet, kids!” Said Halazia, successfully shutting them up. “Follow me and hurry up while I’m patient.”
Granny took them to a corridor where a bookshelf stood. She pushed one book and instantly it changed into a door. She looked them straight in the eye, making fun of the fact that they had never found this passage before. Seonghwa gave himself a mental facepalm. It was the most obvious secret entrance that could have existed. And yet its triviality made him never think about moving those uninteresting-looking books.
Behind the door there was a staircase leading to the basement which turned out to be a giant training room. Every wall and floor was covered in spells not allowing any harm to people inside. You could fall or be thrown by your sparring partner and nothing bad would happen.
Seonghwa had a strange feeling, so he decided to test something. He manifested his sword and lightly cut his palm. As he expected, the wound immediately healed itself. They could train here and unleash their full potential, not having to worry about any injury.
Granny Halazia explained to them how everything worked and made them promise that they would fight the police. When they did that, she clapped her hands and smiled.
“All right, boys, have fun. And invite me to your wedding in the future.” She moved her eyebrows in a suggestive way.
“Are you insinuating something, Granny?” Asked cautiously Hongjoong.
“Of course I do! You think that my eyebrows would just start dancing on their own? Well, that would be a quite probable occurrence, considering the fact that I sold my soul to the devil and my ghost form may be unstable… Anyway, hugs and kisses, bye, bye, by the way you’re cute Seonghwa, see you boys!” She disappeared.
“I’m her great grandson, but she said nothing about my cuteness!”
“I think you’re pretty cute.” Said Seonghwa and watched in amusement as Hongjoong hid his face in his hands.
Seonghwa took training seriously. Well, it’s not like he had anything else to do when he was alone, waiting till Hongjoong got back from work. Thanks to a few things bought in local Walmart and his magic, he created a few training dummies. He could stab them as much as he wanted. He was imagining they were people who tried to hurt him while he was still living on the streets, before Hongjoong changed his life for the better.
Performing one cut, he suddenly noticed a movement from the corner of his eye. He dropped his sword, not expecting any company. He sighed with relief, seeing that it was only Granny Halazia. Ever since they first summoned her, she would randomly appear and chat with them or just look at them training. He offered her a smile and picked up his sword, getting back to his practice.
“Where is your boyfriend?” She asked after a moment.
“He’s working.” He answered, cutting another dummy. Only a second later did his mind realize what he said. He turned around quickly and looked at the ghost flustered. “Granny, Hongjoong isn’t my boyfriend…” He started to quickly explain.
“HE IS NOT?!” She gasped and in the blink of an eye, she was standing right before him.
Seonghwa looked at her, not knowing what to tell her. Halazia squinted.
“You look at each other with doe eyes all the time and neither of you has made the first step yet? You’re such losers.”
“Granny…”
“WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GO GET HIM!” If she wasn’t a ghost, she probably would jolt him. “You really think Hongjoong is going to ask you on a date first? The chances for that are lower than for getting Kaveh on Baizhu’s banner.”
“What?” Seonghwa asked in confusion.
“You have a great taste in men, but not in good games.” She shook her head. “All right, I’ll give you some advice. You can trust me, I’ve had a husband, and not just one… So, firstly you have to…”
She was interrupted by a ringing phone. Seonghwa took it out of his pocket and was surprised to see the contact name. Future Husband. Granny Halazia raised her eyebrow and smiled suggestively. Seonghwa shook his head. Strange. Hongjoong has never called him during work. He answered the call.
“Hongjoong?”
“Hiiii Seonghwa, my dearest friend…”
“What have you done?” Asked Seonghwa, expecting a lot of trouble.
“Oh, come on, you immediately think about worst case scenarios! I haven’t done anything…”
Somewhere in the background police sirens and gunshots could be heard. Someone was talking through a megaphone, but it was too unintelligible for Seonghwa to understand.
“Okay, so I have a hypothetical situation that I would like to discuss with you.” Hongjoong continued.
“Obviously just a hypothetical one.” Seonghwa rolled his eyes.
“So, there is a witch…”
“Yeah…”
“And this witch has a roommate who is also a freak….”
“Sounds familiar.”
“And I’m wondering, if, just in theory, this witch could help his dear roommate while he is surrounded by the police…”
“You killed somebody?!” Seonghwa gasped.
Granny Halazia clapped her hands after hearing those words, clearly proud of her grandson’s actions.
“No! Of course I didn’t kill anybody– I mean, that witch’s roommate didn’t kill anybody. He just wasn’t able to reach the highest shelf in the shop that he works in (and I do not know how you can not reach the shelves, I always reach them). And well, he used his powers to stand on the air, but someone saw him and called the cops. And, well… ugh… It’s very probable that now he is sitting on the roof of his shop, surrounded by walls of air so he doesn’t get shot. And the police might be telling him to get down? Could a witch help in this situation?” The longer he spoke, the more panicked he was.
Seonghwa sighed as if he was a martyr. He pulled the phone away from his ear and spoke to the ghost. “Granny Halazia, is it okay to stab a few policemen to save your reckless friend?”
“It is. If it was bad, God would create this world differently.”
“Hell yeah.”
He put the phone back to his ear.
“Hello? Hello? Seonghwa, are you there?”
“I’m on my-my way.” He hung up.
Hongjoong was really sitting on that roof, surrounded by his walls of air which were deflecting all projectiles. Few policemen stood in front of the building. Seonghwa didn’t necessarily want to kill them. However, he was aware that most likely he’ll have to stab or at least cut each of them to save his roommate.
He casted few spells on himself, which would ensure his survival. That is, unless he gets a bullet right through his head. He trusted that Hongjoong would protect him from that, just like last time.
Seonghwa reached the first policeman who was holding a gun and in one precise move, he cut his back. The man screamed and fell onto the ground, alarming his coworkers. Before they could react, Seonghwa injured two others.
Seonghwa had to bounce back immediately to avoid a close encounter with a taser. He swung his sword forward, but his opponent swiftly dodged that. Seonghwa had a strange feeling. Policemen usually didn’t know how to defend against swords. Before he attacked again, he took a better look at the cop.
The man looked like he was born in Australia in 1997 and had to raise 7 stray kids. Seonghwa focused and took a quick step forward to cut his arm. The policeman hissed in pain and almost fell to the ground. Seonghwa came to a halt. This wound shouldn’t be deep enough to cause that amount of pain. Unless…
“You are a werewolf.” He said. It was the only logical explanation. After all, his sword was made of silver.
A growl was a sufficient confirmation of his theory. Seonghwa shook his head. He couldn’t understand why a freak like them was part of the police that was actively trying to exterminate them.
Seonghwa felt his magic tell him that danger was approaching. He turned around just in time to avoid the attack of two remaining policemen. He swung his sword and with that nimble move, he cut their foreheads. He snorted when they fell to the ground and grabbed their heads with panic in their eyes. It was more fear than any threat to their lives.
The werewolf was already gone but it didn’t matter to Seonghwa. He was focused on Hongjoong who had just jumped off the roof and quickly ran to him, hugging him tightly.
“Well, I think I paid you back for saving my life last time.” Seonghwa laughed, holding his friend in his arms.
“Thank you.” Hongjoong smiled broadly.
This sight made Seonghwa’s heart melt completely. If only Hongjoong knew how cute he looked right now…
“I think we should go home.” Said Hongjoong, looking at the policemen who were still lying on the ground and groaning in pain. “Somebody has probably called the back-up already”
Seonghwa nodded.
“You’ll probably have to find a new job.”
Finding a new job has proven to be impossible for Hongjoong, because his face was shown on national TV. Every time he went outside, people recognized him. They had to find a new way of making money, because Hongjoong’s parents’ money wouldn’t last forever.
Seonghwa had a cunning idea. Well, actually it was Granny Halazia’s idea from over 100 years ago, but he chose to copy it. He decided to run a business. He started making potions, elixirs and other more or less legal drinks. Then he found customers, to whom he could safely (completely illegally) sell them. He earned a lot more per month than Hongjoong had previously with his minimum wage.
One evening they went to meet a customer who ordered 37 blood-replenishing potions. From the beginning this order seemed very suspicious. Who would buy that amount of this particular brew? Only vampires. And that’s why Hongjoong insisted on coming with him. Lately he was more protective towards Seonghwa and there was no way he would let him go to meet such a dangerous creature alone.
They were standing under the streetlamp, backs pressed together, so no one was able to attack them from behind. Hongjoong gripped his dagger tightly. After the encounter with the police, they figured he needed some kind of weapon, just in case. Meanwhile Seonghwa was ready to manifest his sword and stab everybody who wouldn’t follow the rules of untouchability of one’s dealer.
Finally, after many minutes of deafening silence, two people appeared. Judging how the air around them became much more oppressive, it was almost certain that they were vampires. One of them looked like a child. He couldn’t have been born before December 9, 2005. The other one, visibly older and more experienced, smiled at them. Seonghwa saw his fangs. He shuddered, but did not allow fear to appear on his face.
He gave the bag with potions to the younger vampire. The boy immediately took one bottle and examined it carefully, checking if Seonghwa was tricking them. He nodded his head towards his friend.
“2100 dollars.” Said strictly Seonghwa.
“What do we do, Heesung?” Asked the kid.
“I don’t know about you, Niki, but I’m hungry.” He looked at Seonghwa like a predator.
Ah, so they won’t play by the rules. Seonghwa took a step back and manifested his sword. He shouldn’t have taken such a suspicious offer in the first place. But what’s done is done and now he had to fight two vampires. Thankfully, Hongjoong was with him.
Vampire named Heesung attacked quickly, with the intention of sinking his fangs in Seonghwa’s neck. Hongjoong didn’t let him do that. He created the wall of air. Vampire hit it with his head, which caused him to step back hissing in pain. Before he could make the next move, Hongjoong pushed back on him, stabbing him with his dagger. He was aiming at his chest. but Heesung turned his body in the last moment, making the blade stick into his arm.
Hongjoong tried to get his dagger back, which almost allowed Niki to bite him. Seonghwa didn’t let him do that. He slashed his sword forward through the chest of the vampire who screamed and took a few steps back. Heesung also moved away, standing next to his younger friend.
“You’ll pay for what you’ve done to us!” His words were full of hatred.
“No. It’s you who should have paid, and nothing would have happened!” Hongjoong replied sharply.
Vampires gave them one last look and ran away from the alley. Taking a bag of potions with them. Without paying. Seonghwa sighed and looked at Hongjoong.
“I think we made ourselves new enemies.”
Hongjoong nodded his head sadly. They already had to deal with the police, they didn’t need additional vampires to worry about. They turned around and went back home. They wanted to complain to Granny that they were scammed and almost bitten.
“You know what, Hwa?” Said Hongjoong after a few minutes of walking. “I hope that those two vampires will pass through a parking lot and that the driver won’t notice them while reversing (well, because their reflection wouldn’t appear in his mirrors) and hit them. That’d be ridiculous.”
Seonghwa laughed. He’s never thought about this particular problem vampires needed to face, but he didn’t feel sorry for them. He looked at Hongjoong who was also giggling. He decided at that moment to follow Granny’s advice. He took Hongjoong’s hand and gave him his best smile.
“Thank you for coming with me and saving me.”
Hongjoong made an almost inaudible sound and averted his eyes, but squeezed Seonghwa’s hand even tighter. Seonghwa felt warmth in his own chest and was barely able to conceal his laughter. Flustered Hongjoong was cute. He hoped he could experience such a sight more often.
They came back home, holding hands all the time.