Chapter Text
It was here, in the quiet of his old room, where Copia could be himself.
He didn’t have to hide his emotions and act like everything was alright. He didn’t have to try to prove himself to anyone. He wasn’t constantly looking over his shoulder, waiting for someone to point out something he was doing wrong. In here, in the room with the lumpy mattress and the lava lamp, he didn’t have to be Frater Imperator.
In here he was just Copia.
It had been two months since Sister Imperator’s death and his subsequent promotion. Copia was now leading the clergy, a job that he had been working towards for years. It should have been a time of celebration for him but how could you celebrate something that went hand in hand with the death of your mother? He had worked so hard to get to this point but you could see how even though he deserved his new title it was weighing heavily upon him.
The screen of his small television had been flashing ‘game over’ for some time now but Copia hadn’t moved. He was sitting still, his shoulders hunched forward and the controller dangling loosely from his hand. You placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, whispering an apology when he startled at the contact.
“Copia? Do you want to keep playing?”
“Huh? Ah, yeah. Yeah, let me start again.”
Despite his words he remained still, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared down at the floor. You rubbed his shoulder absently, sliding your hand across the red fabric of his hoodie until you reached his neck. Copia shivered at the touch of your fingertips dancing across his nape and you smiled when his eyes fluttered closed.
“How about a neck massage, Papa?” You realized your mistake as soon as you had said it, watching his face fall at the mention of his old title. “I’m sorry! Old habits. Forgive me, Frater.”
He turned his head towards you and you felt tears gathering in your eyes when you saw the look in his. A combination of exhaustion, sadness and regret, three things you never wanted him to have to experience. You lowered your head to rest your chin on his shoulder, smiling when you felt his lips on your forehead.
“Can you do me a favor, amore?” He kissed you again when you nodded your head. “Can I just be Copia in here?”
A few tears fell down your cheeks and you sniffled while you nodded again. He reached his free hand up to wipe them away before sliding a finger under your chin so he could tilt your head up. Copia kissed you then, gently but possessively. When he pulled away you cupped his cheek, keeping his face close and resting your foreheads together.
“You’ll always be Copia to me.”
“Bene, bene.” He kissed you again, this one quick and fierce just like the ones you’d get between songs when you hung out backstage. “Amore, can we give Miss Daisy a rest for the day? I had something else in mind.”
A few months ago you would have groaned and rolled your eyes, knowing exactly what he would suggest you both do next. But you knew that wasn’t what he would be seeking right now. You both had craved a different type of intimacy since he had become Frater Imperator. He gave you a grateful smile as you scooted back on his bed, adjusting his blankets and making room for him to lay down next to you.
It didn’t take him long to get comfortable, one leg pushed in between yours and an arm slung over your waist. His face was next to yours on the pillow, his breathing already slowing down despite the fact that his eyes remained open. You couldn’t look away from that mismatched gaze of his, so thankful that he felt comfortable enough with you to let his guard down like this. To leave whatever title he held at the door so he could just be Copia with you because at the end of the day that’s the only person you wanted.
Just Copia.