Chapter Text
Did that come out too weird? I'm guessing it did, since the little version of me had only blinked repeatedly. Should I have just returned the book without having said anything?
"It's not really my book."
I'm saved, she actually answered! Wait, what?
"..."
"...I see, so you borrowed it from a friend?"
"No, I stole it.."
Oh.
I could feel cold sweat running down my face as I waved my hands in the air, "Oh! Hey, that's bad, you know..!"
This was actually growing even more embarrassing. Who on earth accidentally comes across the younger version of themselves admitting to theft?
Bending down, I place the book on her hand gently and wave my palm as an indication of farewell. In hopes that things like these would never happen ever again! I've had enough of seeing so many versions of me already!
—·
"Hey, I'm back," I announced my return awesomely as I threw the bag of candies on the wooden desk.
When I heard that there was no response, I tilted my head to look under the desk. "Huh? Hello? Knock-off version of me? Han Sooyoung number. 2?"
As I felt a familiar hand smacking me on the back of my head, I instantly knew who it was.
"I'm the original one here; you're the knock-off."
She took a piece of what I had bought and placed it on her tongue, relinquishing in the flavors of the sweet and slightly sour treat. "Take one."
"You're being generous?"
"This'll be the last time, you know."
As she sat down, I took one of the candies and stared at her hand; it had a few faint scars and recognizable ink prints. A part of me faintly wondered about how long she had taken the time to write with those hands, and how she gained those scars.
Eating the lemon candy, I asked and accentuated my point by, well, pointing... "What're you doing now?"
"Planning stuff."
"Wow, very specific."
"Just don't bother me. You of all people know very well that not everything needs to be specified."
"What? You haven't even answered the question earlier."
"What question?"
"Don't play dumb, the promise thing—"
[Story, 'Predictive Plagiarism' has begun its storytelling.]
The moment I got interrupted was the same time that I had felt insulted. "Wow, 'Predictive Plagiarism'? Does that mean your stories are actually unoriginal and copied?"
She ignored my words and kept on pausing every once in a while to write down different things. I couldn't understand anything, and I really didn't want to understand either. They say that the less you know, the better life would be.
"..."
"..."
"You know what? I'll just finish drafting."
"At least you know what's good for you."
"Oh, so now you're answering?"
"..."
I sat down on my seat and scoffed when there came not even a single reply. She had busied herself to the point of not sparing any time, so I should do the same as well. But if I'd be a bit fair, not everyone has a long, retaining attention span..
"Hey, where are you going after this?"
"None of your business."
"..."
"..."
"Not even a hint?"
"I'm going to look for Kim Dokja."
"Wait, what?!"
She received my gaze, and for a moment, I thought she looked annoyed. Although if I took a deeper approach, she might've just been excessively tired.
"So, Kim Dokja's actually real?"
"What? Of course he's real." She scowled.
"So, this story is like your self-insert fanfiction?"
Another hit to my head.
"Nothing is a self-insert!"
"So you're acquaintances?"
"Companions," she corrected.
"Now keep on working before I do something worse."
A grumble here and another one there; it was weird to converse with oneself in this manner, but still oddly fun. It made me wonder about what the Kim Dokja of her world was like. Was he funny? Was he as cheeky as the one I had been used to?
"So, about the promise..."
"Yes, it's about Kim Dokja."
"So you're planning on getting him back? Did he run away?"
"No, he stayed."
"What does that mean?"
"You said that the less a person knows, the better their life is—but now you're still prying about something like this?"
"Wait, I said that out loud?"
"Enough already! Just keep focusing on your work."
After an awful lot of stretched silence, it continued with an absolute quietness accompanied by not even a whiff of a breeze. Perhaps I was going insane, or I've already gone insane. "Will I remember this moment once I'm back in the story again?"
"I'm not sure, but there's a possibility that you would."
"So there's a higher chance that I wouldn't?"
"There's a large chance that you'd ruin the story because of information you already know."
"So, will this story just turn into a different universe?"
"It already has become one."
A bit interested, I placed the pen cap back on and set it aside. "When?"
"The moment you figured everything out, obviously."
"And when was that?"
"You concluded that the process of things showed a frequent sign of unusualness. By then, you would have thought that it was some kind of simulation."
"It's because you rushed things so much; if you wanted it to be a nice and happy experience for me then you should have at least made a suitable pace. If you wanted it to be less noticable then you could've just done that."
"That wasn't my intention."
"So, your original intention was to make it as trashy as possible? To the point where even I, a character of the story, noticed?"
"No, that's not what I meant."
"Then—" I paused, that was the moment that everything seemed to click. This Han Sooyoung was one that had never found the thing that she had always wanted—a hollow shell that was living for the purpose of happiness. And she created a story in hopes of obtaining what she'd always longed for. But what if rather than for my happiness, or for hers, it could have been for someone elses? There, I began to understand.
"You look like you've gotten the answer to what you've been asking for."
"I just want to clarify..."
"Ask on; if you're right then maybe I'll enlighten you and acknowledge your ideas."
I was a bit hesitant, and I felt the growing doubt in my chest as my lips parted to convey my inquiry, "The sole purpose of this story was only for Kim Dokja, wasn't it?"
She hummed in response; there was no certainty in it and I was unsure of what she thought.
"The reason why everything turned out so well in his perspective was just because you wanted this story to be a great experience for him, and not in regards to anyone else, correct?"
There was the subtlest of a grin on her lips; the smooth line that was once there showed to be no longer present. The little act made me feel a bit angry, and even quite betrayed.
"You may be right."
"Haven't you ever once thought about yourself?"
Han Sooyoung pretended to be deep in thought for a moment before shrugging; it made me feel even more infuriated.
"It's just a story; there's no point in getting overly pressed."
Her response suddenly gave me the urge to either choke her or hit her, "It's 'just a story'?! Are you sick in the head? Han Sooyoung, I'm literally your creation—how can you at least produce a story where you think all is well, but you can't even give a single good thing for yourself."
"You don't know that."
"Then are you a hundred percent sure that your life would end up as a different route from this one, in a good way?"
"I can't guarantee."
"Stop being so fucking vague for once and answer the damn question."
A bit taken aback, her expression turned a bit unsightly. "So what if it isn't much different? All I'm wishing for is that things would end up well for everyone else."
"Then you're no different from Kim Dokja. You're not being selfless; you're just outright stupid and narrow-minded."
She didn't say another word, and so did I. It didn't matter, all I needed to do was create a better version of the story where everyone would be as equally appreciated.
When I popped the cap of my pen off, she spoke a bit more. "Your way of thinking is admirable."
"You're only thinking that way because you're not in your rational mind; get some rest."
She pondered a little before nodding and preparing to leave someplace else, she looked a little light-headed. Well, I couldn't care less. I really didn't need to care at all; because why should I get involved with someone like her? Someone who had particularly created me for the mere sake of someone else, and not for myself? Right, there's absolute little to no reason.
...But damn, who am I honestly kidding here?
Before I could even register it in my head, my voice calls out to her, "Han Sooyoung."
She freezes, "Yeah?"
"Actually—I think the story you made isn't as bad as I've mentioned it to be."
Turning back and waving her hand in disagreement, she says, "I don't need flowery words; if you're being an honest critic, then that's even better."
There was just a huge weight on my shoulder that didn't want her to leave just yet; the burdening heaviness of it calling out to me that these might be the following words that Han Sooyoung needed to hear—words she might never receive if I don't say them. "It's just that I—I honestly think Kim Dokja would have enjoyed it as well."
Another pause, did I convince her? "No, he wouldn't. It's just a failed attempt in practicing anyway."
"For practice..?"
"Mm, turns out that I really am unable to milk out romance for over three thousand chapters."
"Then, won't you try again..? I mean, you're a writer anyway."
I could hear her hold back a little, "You're incorrect, I've decided to stop writing. I have no one to read my work, after all."