Chapter Text
Penelope paced the floor of the small bedroom which Genieve had offered her. Her thoughts ran wild as she contemplated what to do. Should she just go and leave all this behind? She still had time to leave before Benedict came back. She had very little hope that Colin would be coming with him. How could he when all that was burned in her mind was the resentment present on his face when he found out? The hurt etched on his features as his eyes welled with tears. She could not entrap him, she would not entrap him. She could care for this child on her own, she would love them abundantly for both of them. She could not allow her child to grow up in a home where their parents resented each other.
Or she could stay and allow the morsel of hope that she clung to that he would show to save her. She had thought she had long shed the dreams and hope of the naive little girl she was. But it seems her heart would always love Colin Bridgerton. She did not know if that would be a blessing or a punishment for her sins as there would never be another man she loved like she did him. No matter how much she had tried, she was destined to love him. For Penelope Featherington would always be a fool for Colin Bridgerton.
But she would not get her happy ending. Women like Penelope Featherington don’t end up with men like Colin Bridgerton. Her mother had engraved those words deep in her soul. She wiped the tears that now seemed to be streaming down her pale cheeks. Devoid of color they had been. Taking in a deep breath, she placed a hand on her non-existent bump and made a promise to her child.
“I’ll never let anyone hurt you little one, I promise to love you with all my heart.”
She had not sensed the man standing at the door's frame. Looking out toward her with tears in his own eyes. Penelope had not heard the door open as she had been consumed by her own thoughts.
“What about me? Will I be able to be afforded that luxury to love them too?
She turned briskly at the sound of that voice, the voice of the man who held her heart. Tears now fully stream down both their faces.
His name, barely audible escaped her lips.
“Colin…”
“Penelope, why are you trying to run?” Colin came cautiously and walked towards her, taking small steps to allow her space to back up if she deemed it necessary. Penelope stilled as she kept her eyes trained on the man before her. “Please, I love you.”
“How can you love me if you loathe a part of me? No matter what Colin, Lady Whistledown is a part of me. I am still little naive Penelope Featherington as well as the writer who has captivated the ton. We are the same.” Broken from her trance, Penelope continued to speak as it seemed everything spilled out at once. Everything she had been holding in was coming to light. “You can not marry Penelope Featherington and not marry Lady Whistledown as well.”
“I have come to realize that you are her. You are both one and cannot be separated. And I love all of you, every single piece of you.” They stood in silence for what seemed to be an eternity. Looking into the others' eyes as they awaited the other to speak. He grabbed both her hands and brought them to his lips. He left a light kiss on them and brought them to his heart. “I apologize if my actions led you to think I do not love you. It is because I love you so much that I feel this anger so intensely. It’s maddening that I can not protect you. I would die, do you understand Pen? I would die if anything happened to you.”
“Colin, I do not need you to protect me at all times. I need you to love me and stand beside me. I need your support and your comfort. I love you for everything that you are. Flaws and everything. All I ask for you is to love me the same.”
“We might, no will most likely quarrel but I want to know that I will always love you, Penelope. There is no other person who drives me mad as you do. But I love you with every part of me.” He brought a hand to tenderly cup her cheek as his thumb lightly caressed it.
Colin took a deep breath as he lifted her chin gingerly so that he could look into her eyes. “I need you to understand something Pen. I would search for you in every crevice on Earth to find you. I would have searched for you until my last dying breath.”
“Colin..”
“I want you to stay by my side for our child. A child who will be very much loved by both parents. If you want to run, we will both run. I will follow you to wherever you wish to go. We will do it together.”
“I love you.” Penelope brought up her hand to his face, her thumb tracing the scar on his chin.” You are a great man Mr. Bridgerton and it is a privilege to be loved by you.”
“I have long sought a purpose in life. In truth, I think I was jealous that you have found yours while I had yet to find mine. But I have my purpose and it is loving you Penelope. Loving you for all your success and all your failures.” He placed a tender kiss on the top of her head before continuing to speak. “How lucky I am, to stand by your side, and soak up even a little bit of your light. If my only purpose in life is to love a woman as great as you, then I will be a very fulfilled man indeed.”
He captured her lips into a tender kiss. A kiss which every ounce of feeling was poured into. Every tear and cry that they had suffered, as well as every laugh, smile, and tenderness felt. Time seemed to slow as they took in every inch of each other.
“Will you please put me out of my misery and marry me Penelope Featherington?”
“Of course I’ll marry you Colin Bridgerton for there is no one else in this world which I love more.”