Chapter Text
This world was beyond normal.
You had known that ever since you were in college. When you talked with your friend, asking what they wanted to do for the summer, only to find out that she died the next day. She couldn’t make it. That outbreak on the college ground, how some of your friends were turned into zombies.
Perhaps, you wouldn’t even see another day if it wasn’t because of the D.S.O and B.S.A.A agents saving everyone and having the situation under control. If Leon, too, wasn’t there when you were trapped in the room with three infected, maybe you would have the same fate as your friend.
He came into your life like a knight in shining armour. You couldn’t think about anything for days but the way his blue eyes locked with yours.
What a sight to see. How could you not dream of him every night after encountering such a magnificent being? You were always a hopeful romantic. But no one caught your heart. Until his arms wrapped around you, making sure you were safe. He knew he would do the same to everyone, but that time — you just felt so secure.
He was there on every waking hour. There even when you close your eyes. For days after you met him, you thought he would be just someone you could dream of. Someone who passed by in your life, never to be seen again.
But he texted you in broad daylight.
You let out a squeak, falling from your own chair in the middle of a lecture. His text, that moment of exhilaration, a small embarrassment when your classmates asked you whether you were alright, you could still remember it.
Even after so many years went by, everything about him — it became one with your soul. Never once left. Not even when you tried to bury the memories of him at the back of your mind. When you laid down beside someone else, even when you made love with your husband back then, you knew he was still there.
His existence, despite knowing that he was no good for you. Despite knowing that you deserved better than someone who couldn’t even choose their own happiness, Leon stayed in your heart.
You just stupidly wished, one day he could actually stay around.
But even after fifteen years had passed. When he knew that Dante was his son, that kiss — it was just the long awaited goodbye he should have done when he left you in your apartment. So you realised that, he wouldn’t.
Then again, how could you not keep wishing for a miracle when the world seemed to deny your prayer to forget about him?
In the end, you always kept yourself busy. Knowing you couldn’t just do nothing when every time you took a break, your mind was always thinking of what if. Over and over again like a broken record that couldn’t be mended anymore. No one to repair, no place to service it. The only one who could was him.
Him who was too scared that your future wouldn’t be good if it was spent with him. If only he knew how much of a torture it was without.
For your son, however, you never showed it. After all, whenever Dante was around, you were just so overflowed with love. He never once got sad knowing he didn’t have a father. Always bragging to everyone that you were the best mother he could ever ask. He didn’t need anyone else. After all, he was born having enough affection from you.
You felt bad, however. Wanting to give him a normal household. A life where came back to his house after school, having a family dinner where his parents were there.
Perhaps, that was why you didn’t hesitate to say ‘I do’ to someone else. When another professor took a liking towards you. Asking you out on dates, then asking you to marry him, you accepted it so easily. You adored him, of course. But you couldn’t deny that you just wanted to give the best life for Dante.
How cruel, huh? Eventually, you told your ex-husband, not wanting to keep him in the dark for too long. And turned out, he knew from the start.
He too was the same. Just needing a place to come home to. The feeling was mutual at the end of the journey. And the two of you shared custody, becoming a dear friend to each other.
Until he started pointing fingers, blaming you for what happened to Virgil. Saying that you were not competent enough as a mother. That you didn’t love her enough to protect her. Because Dante was alive, and she wasn’t.
As if you were not haunted by the incident that would forever follow you and Dante for as long as the two of you lived.
If you could, you would have traded your life with her. But that wasn’t how this world worked, right? It was never that easy. You knew that, so you just pushed through.
You didn’t even realise when you started reaching your limit.
All of a sudden, you just didn’t have the energy to even go outside. Your classes were online, the job and assignment given to you, you did it all inside the house.
The safe place you had created. Where you waited for Dante to come home every time he was away. He wanted to be a government agent. Your sweet son who couldn’t even hurt a fly before, who always wanted to work behind the desk. Changed his course after the event that altered both of your lives.
You just wished he didn’t follow in the footsteps of his father.
But just like any other wishes of yours — most of them were left unanswered.
When you greeted your son back from another task today, you never expected him to bring someone home. Especially not Leon. He never once brought up that name whenever he told you some stories about what happened in the headquarters and how the mission went by. And from all you knew, Leon was in USSTRATCOM, not D.S.O.
So imagine your surprise when you saw two pairs of light-blue eyes that you adored so much, standing in front of you. One with a gentle smile on his face, hugging you within an instant. While the other stayed back, an awkward but soft smile on his handsome face as you looked at him.
“W-Welcome home, Dante.” You whispered under your breath, leaning away slightly after he hugged you long enough, squeezing your smaller body lightly. “I didn’t know you invited someone here, why don’t you tell Ma?” Your hand went to his cheek, pinching it that earned a whine from him.
“Because I don’t want you to freak out,”
“But I am not freaking out!”
“You are!”
Sadly, you were. You had to take a few steps backwards, and you would continue to do so if only the walls didn’t stop you from doing so. “Ma, it’s alright. Leon — he just wants to see you.”
Your hand clenching on the dress that you wore, calming down your heart that was threatening to leap out of your ribcage. Dante slowly walked towards you, hand on your arm as he tried to keep your eyes on him instead of the man that he sure was already getting anxious.
These two, I swear to God—
“Where did you meet him?” You croaked out, swallowing a huge lump as you tried to be mature in this situation. “And when…? How come you even think he’s welcomed here?”
“He’s my superior.”
“No.” That answered the lingering question you never dared to ask him. “When you graduated from the academy, you told me that you would be a government agent, nothing but that. You promised me to never get inside that world, Dante—”
“But I am already in it!” He raised his voice, just an octave. “We are already in it, Ma. Always have been.” Stopping you from saying things that you might regret later. “Especially after Virgil.”
“What do you mean?”
Leon's heart clenched at the argument between them. All this time, Dante never told you that he was working in the same field as him. When he saw the panic in your eyes, he wanted nothing but to run towards you. Wrapping his arms around your body to calm you down because he remembered how you always relaxed whenever you were in his embrace.
“Ma,” But it was dozens of years ago. “W-We have been here before, remember?” Now, he had a feeling it would only repulse you.
He could only stare at the two figures that he was supposed to be his main priority in this life. You, the woman who could have been his wife. And Dante, the boy that could have been his son. Leon couldn’t hear what it was that his subordinate whispered in your ear. Whatever it was though, tears welled up in your eyes.
At the sight of it, his arm subconsciously stretched forward. As if trying to reach you as Dante pulled you towards the living room, guiding you to sit on the couch as you looked so fragile at the moment. “I am sorry, Ma.”
“It’s not your fault,” You tried to compose yourself, but as Leon slowly walked deeper into the house, to make sure you were alright, he could see that you were not completely fine. “None of us know what was inside the creme brulee she ate.” Not you, and not Dante also. “And I— Ma is sorry that sometimes…”
“It’s alright, Ma.” Dante’s eyes went towards Leon for a second there before resting it back to your figure. “I am sorry too, for not telling you that I have been in the B.O.W field. I know you always push me away from that world, but I couldn’t close my eyes knowing what happened to us, might fall to any other family out there.”
“I should have known,” You gave your son a small smile, “Don’t worry, I am not mad at you, Dante. Ma is just a little worried, understand?” Not wanting him to think with him facing B.O.W on almost every mission, would ever make you love him any less. It scared you, yes, but you wouldn’t ever detest him for trying to do what was right.
“I understand, Ma…”
“Good boy,” and what they said was true, right? “Now give your mama a hug! Then be a dear and help me get the iced coffee from the fridge. Our guest would need something to drink.” That a fruit would never fall far from its tree. “But change up first. Get comfortable. I will accompany your superior beforehand.”
Dante was just like his father.
After he gave you a hug, squeezing your body as he whispered out gratitude, he leaned away and stood up. Leaving you to be with Leon who was only about seven feets away from you. You could feel Dante’s gaze fall upon your figure when he went upstairs to his room, checking if it was really alright to leave you alone.
Then again, he believed the two of them needed it. Both you and Leon. Wherever the conversation would lead to, hopefully, they could talk.
You said nothing as you stood up. But you beckoned your old friend to follow you. Leon hoped you wouldn’t take him to the front door to kick him out. Then again, he wouldn’t be surprised if you do so. After all, he left you without saying anything. Twice.
It was a miracle you still wanted to look him in the eyes when he came here unannounced.
You led him towards the kitchen, but you continued on to open the door that eventually took him to a lake. Your backyard was filled with flowers and plants. Oak and maple trees adorned your land, and the breeze caressed his skin the second he walked outside. Everything here was so — breathtaking.
He was starstruck at the serene sight. Of how nice it would be to have a house like this. You had been working so hard to have this place, providing your children the best life you could ever give to them. Then again, as you walked towards the middle of the garden, he realised it was your presence that made this place perfect.
Wherever it was, if you were there, he would love it.
Perhaps, that was the reason why he never found the right place to settle down.
“It’s a quiet life here, Leon.” Because after all this time, he realised it had always been you. “This is the house I built for them. For Dante and Virgil. Just an ordinary life. Going to school, making friends, finding a dream for them to follow. You know, like how most people are. That is what I want them to have.”
No, he knew that from the start. “Like how I always wanted you to have.” He was just — never one to accept that he deserved to have this kind of life.
Leon swallowed a huge lump when you only stared at the lake. The sun hits the surface, creating a spark whenever the water ripples. There were so many things he wanted to say. Starting from apology, then how much he regretted what he had done. How he would like to have that, a mundane life with you.
Wasn’t it too late, though? There was no way he could turn back around. As much as he wanted it too, that life was far from his reach.
“Even now?” And yet, he couldn’t stop himself from asking.
His blue eyes, already filled with thousands of emotions he had felt throughout the year walking on this earth alone, gazing down at you with a look that never changed. Whenever he saw you, whenever his mind played the memories of you, his gaze would always be gentle. With love brimming from those orbs.
You kept silent. And honestly, he deserved that. You had every right not to say another word to him. Letting him bask in your presence was enough of a gift. More than he could ever ask.
“Even now.”
And the time felt like it stopped all over again, “Even now, I wished you were somewhere out there. Finding someone to settle down, allowing yourself to just live a life far from any bio-organic weapon.” The world does. “When I saw you with Dante a few minutes ago, I-”
A small chuckle, laced with bittersweetness, escaped your soft lips. “I kinda hate myself for worrying about you rather than getting angry for what you did.”
He called your name, and your gaze instantly locked with his. Those eyes, it truly never changed. Despite the rage that he saw there before, you always adored his entire existence. And it was visible, “Maybe you couldn’t see it. Maybe you wouldn’t believe it, but,” How in this very moment, you still loved him. “Ever since I knew you, my heart only knows your name.”
He wondered if all this time, you could also see how much he loved you. The feeling was always mutual. Since the time you introduced him to a normal life. An ice cream date, going to an amusement park together. He had been in love with you, no one else could do it. No matter how many times he tried to lie to himself.
It was always you. His first and forever love.
You took a step forward. There was only a two feets gap between the two of you. You stared at him with an unwavering look in your eyes. But he could see the way tears glossed your gentle orbs.
“You… You said that you did it for me. You left because you wouldn’t be right to me. That I deserved someone who stayed.”
“Yes, that is why.”
“Then didn’t you just prove it to me?” His lips parted. Confusion written in his eyes. “Even if you are far from me, Leon. Even if you have to leave for hundreds of missions, you stay.”
“I—”
“You love me still, right?”
“Yes.” There was no denying it. “Yes, I did and I do. Until I died in a mission one day, or anywhere else in the world. You will be the last in my mind.”
“Then you have stayed for so long, Leon. What do you mean you are not good to me when you have proven it?” He didn’t flinch when your fingertips grazed his cheek. “You proved it by continuing to love me despite being away. Why can’t you see it?”
His eyes only bore into yours instead as you slowly light up the darkness of his mind, “Why can’t you see that you are the right person for me, Leon?”
“I-I don’t know.” His answer, it was so weird to hear but it was common in this world. “I don’t know why, I just always believed you will be happy with someone else. Anyone who is not me.” Oftentimes, humans didn’t know why they felt they were not worthy, that they were not enough. “Either because of our age differences or my field of work. I can’t see myself as a great partner.”
That was why everyone needed someone, right?
“Leon,” That was why — humans were created in pairs. “You are.” For them to find comfort in each other. “You are a great partner. From how you love me even after all this year. Or the way you think about my wellbeing, about my safety.” For them to reassure their loved one, “So is there anything else stopping you from staying?”
Letting out a sigh, Leon closed his eyes before he let his head drop. His forehead fell upon your shoulder, as if he couldn’t live without being near you anymore. Your sweet coo made him want to cry. The way your fingers gently caressing his hair, it reminded him that your touch was the only solace he could find in this world.
“I don’t think I am cut out for love.” He whispered underneath his breath. You could barely hear it, but since all of your senses were now fixated on him, it was loud and clear. “I have to do my duty, to save the world. I feel like if I stop, I would lose the reason why I was born in the first place. I wouldn’t be myself.”
“That’s not yours to bear alone, Leon.”
“But—”
“You too, deserve a rest.” You slowly closed the gap between you two. “You have done so much. Saving the life of thousands of people — it’s more than an ordinary man could do, Leon.” Gathering him into your embrace instead, especially when you felt his legs wobble. “Now, it’s time for you to save your life instead.”
What a woman you were, “It’s time for you to live, Leon . ”
Small hiccups escaped his lips, then the next second, it turned into messy sobs as he wrapped his arms around you. Clinging into you before he fell to his knees.
“I am sorry.” His face was buried on your stomach, fingers clawing on the dress you wore, “I am so sorry. I never want to leave…! I always want to be with you, I just want to be with you.”
And the words that were long buried, who had been locked in his heart for years, finally spilled to the surface. “I love you so much.”
Your eyes dilated when you heard the love profession from his lips. All this time, it was always subtle. You kept telling him about your feelings, how much you loved his entire being. But he always asked you to read between the lines. So when you heard it for the first time after more than twenty five years of knowing him, you couldn’t stop your own tears from falling.
You had known from the start, at least you believed that he ran away because it was for your own good. It was the truth, he told you that years ago. But to actually hear the main reason coming out of his lips. To actually have your profession reciprocated for once, it reassured your heart too.
That loving him was always worth it. Waiting for him — it would lead you to this.
This moment where he could finally accept the fact that he too, deserved love. Deserved to be worshipped, to be kissed and hugged. For him to slowly stand up and wrap his arms around you, keeping your head on his chest to hear the way his heart was beating so fast. All because of you, it always beats for you. In the next second, you also had tears streaming down freely down your cheeks.
“You were so cruel—”
“I am sorry.”
It took him more than twenty five years to be here, “I promise you, I wouldn’t leave. I won't leave again, please, please have me.” but it was better than never.
Maybe some would say you were stupid. To keep on waiting for someone who didn’t even believe he was worthy to be loved. You had wasted so many years loving a man who you never knew would ever be able to give the same amount of love or not. Someone who was so busy saving the world he forgot about himself.
Then again, it was not wasting when you could have him again.
Even if he only was yours when you were laying on your deathbed. When he came back only to hold your hand as you took your last breath, it was all still worth it.
Because there was no denying the feeling that persisted only for him. Just like him, no one could ever replace his existence in your life. And you would rather have a second more with him, to look deep into his blue eyes for the last sight you saw on this earth, rather than nothing at all.
“You always have me, Leon.” So to be standing here with him in his embrace. “Just let yourself have me back.” It was worth — everything.
“I will.”
The time that passed not knowing how the future would unfold, the sorrow in your heart knowing someone you loved was out there, being so cruel to himself. If this was real, then it was alright.
“Good.”
As long as him making you his home became your present moment until your dying breath, then all of it was paid off.
Both yours and his soul was ultimately — healed.