Chapter Text
The entire week leading up to the barbecue party was filled with tension. Hao acted as if he had completely forgotten Hanbin's words, along with the unsettling truth that he had been stalking him online and had even, uh, indulged in fantasies about him. This behaviour left him feeling like a creep.
The events of that night compelled Hao to go to great lengths to steer clear of Hanbin, though it wasn't particularly challenging, given that Hanbin was doing the same. He would leave school shortly after arriving, ensuring that Hanbin's car was nowhere in sight, and he would dash out of class the moment the bell rang, avoiding the restroom entirely for fear of an unexpected encounter.
In essence, the situation had grown even more bizarre, especially with the weight of new revelations. He grappled with feelings of guilt, convinced that he had somehow misled Hanbin. Despite wanting to believe he had misunderstood, maybe heard the words wrong, but a nagging uncertainty lingered in his mind.
"Zhang Hao!" Xiaoting's voice cut through his reverie, pulling him back to reality. "Were you even paying attention to what I just said?"
"What?" He glanced at the paper before him, pointing at it as he turned back to Xiaoting, confusion etched across his features. "Uh... review this?"
With an exasperated sigh, she turned to Ryujin and Beomgyu, who sat in stunned silence, sensing that today might be the day Xiaoting finally lost her patience after a week of Hao's distraction.
"You both can take a break," she instructed, and they nodded slightly before hastily exiting the room, offering Hao a quick thumbs up as they left.
Xiaoting settled herself across from Hao. Hao was bracing himself for a lecture but that never came.
Instead, she let out a heavy sigh, her gaze filled with worry. Switching to their native language, she hoped to ease Hao's discomfort as she began to speak. "What’s going on? You’ve been completely out of it all week."
Hao averted his gaze, turning his chair to focus on his laptop, desperate to dodge the conversation. "Nothing's wrong," he muttered.
"Come on, you nearly missed your classes, almost scalded yourself with boiling water, and today you walked straight into a door," Xiaoting pointed out, her tone incredulous.
"I'm just a bit clumsy," he replied, trying to brush it off.
Xiaoting raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced by his excuse.
Hao returned to his procrastination, lost in his thoughts and the screen before him, treating it as a closure to their discussion. Deep down, he yearned to confide in someone, to seek advice that might help him make sense of his feelings. But what could he possibly say? I keep thinking about my ex, who isn’t really my ex because it was all a facade, and now that—
"Is it about Hanbin?" The question froze Hao in place, his fingers halting on the keyboard as his eyes widened in surprise. He quickly turned to Xiaoting, forcing a laugh to mask his unease. "What? No, not at all."
"Don’t lie to me. Why are you avoiding him?"
"I’m not avoiding him."
"You are."
"I’m not."
"If you’re not, then it’s fine if I call him here, right?" Xiaoting said, pulling out her phone with a determined look.
Hao hesitated for a brief moment before responding, "Yeah, I don't care." He redirected his attention to his laptop.
Just then, the sound of a phone ringing pierced the air, and a wave of disbelief washed over him. She isn't really going to call him, is she?
He caught a glimpse of Xiaoting watching him from the corner of his eye. Hanbin wouldn’t even answer; he was in class right now.
The ringing ceased, followed by some rustling on the other end. "Hello—"
In an instant, Hao leaped from his chair, snatching the phone from Xiaoping's grasp and disconnecting the call. He exhaled deeply, lifting his gaze to meet Xiaoting's teasing grin.
"Well?"
He huffed in resignation, "Fine. I am thinking about him, so what?"
Leaning closer, she inquired, "Why? Do you still have feelings for him?"
Hao faltered, swallowing hard before replying in a softer tone, "I don’t know."
"Are you, like, missing him?"
"Maybe? Not in the sense that I want to see him, but I keep thinking about everything that involves him, and I—" He glanced at Xiaoting's puzzled face. "It’s... complicated."
"Is it really complicated, or are you just making it complicated?" Xiaoting finally asked.
Hao paused, his mind racing to grasp the weight of the question posed to him. Was that truly what he was doing? Had he inadvertently complicated his own emotions? The realisation that he struggled to comprehend his feelings, now highlighted by someone else, ignited a deep frustration within him. Hanbin was just making him so confused, leaving him in a state of turmoil.
With a heavy sigh, Hao rubbed his temples, trying to untangle his thoughts.
Xiaoting reclined slightly, her fingers drumming a soft rhythm on her lap as she awaited his response.
He inhaled sharply, the air thick with uncertainty. “Did it ever seem to anyone that there was something more between them? Were his feelings ever apparent to you?
Xiaoting pondered the question, searching for the right words. She felt a sense of responsibility to help Hao navigate his emotions.
“Initially, it felt somewhat... unnatural. I mean, I never really saw you two interact at school. But over time, it became clear that you both were at ease with each other, and Hanbin genuinely cared for you. Even when you weren't paying attention, his actions spoke volumes.” She noticed Hao's furrowed brow, his focus unwavering, and concluded, “I'm certain he still cares for you. He still has feelings for you.”
Of course, I know he likes me, Hao thought, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes in exasperation.
The frustration bubbled within him, and he decided to voice another question that lingered in his mind. “When did it start to seem that way?”
Xiaoting was caught off guard by his inquiry. Truthfully, she had never paid much attention to their dynamic; her interactions had mostly been with Ricky and Hao due to their shared background, with Matthew occasionally joining in. It was only after being added to a group chat that their paths intertwined, leading her to this moment.
She reminisced about the times when Taerae would gag at the couple while Somi and Matthew cooed at them.
“I think it was around, uh, oh right! It was around that contest- the talent show.”
“The talent show...” Hao's mind wandered, vivid memories flashing before him. He resisted the urge to smack himself. Oh, so I seduced that poor guy, wonderful!
From Xiaoting's perspective, it seemed Hao was on the brink of tears, prompting her to step in. “But maybe he just wasn't one for public displays of affection, right? He had been looking at you with such admiration throughout the trip.”
Something flashed in his eyes and Hao appeared even more downcast now.
"Listen," she said, "I'm convinced this whole breakup is just a huge misunderstanding. If you both talk it out, everything will be okay again-"
"Xiaoting," Hao interrupted, lifting his gaze to meet hers, "it's alright. I don't think we should discuss it; it will only cause him more pain." His eyes were filled with sadness as he forced a smile and turned back to his laptop.
"But—"
"Excuse me, I need to go to the restroom," he said, standing up and leaving the room.
Xiaoting watched him until he disappeared, then ran her fingers through her hair in frustration, banging her head against her desk.
After a moment, she looked up, turning her head to the corner of the room where Ricky was sitting.
"And who hurt you?!"
Ricky gazed at her, a look of bewilderment crossing his face as he pointed to himself, "Me?"
"Yes, you," she replied with a huff. "You just decided to switch rooms because you wanted a 'change of scenery'? I find that hard to believe."
Ricky let out an awkward chuckle, his eyes dropping to his work.
"What? Did you not resolve things with Gyuvin—"
"Oh, look at the time!" Ricky interrupted, springing to his feet. "I have a class, see you!"
"Wait—!" But before Xiaoting could finish her sentence, Ricky had already dashed away.
She had a sinking feeling that the barbecue party was going to be a complete flop.
Wtf is wrong with everyone
Shen X.
I hope that haobin and gyurick don't know their exes are also invited to the bbq
Taerae
I didn't tell them yet
Seok M.
I didn't know who all are invited
Somi added Beom, Ryu, Gaeul, vicky, taehyun
Somi
Do ur mentors know their exes are invited?
Ryu
Hanbin and Zhang Hao are exes?
Beom
AHAHAHANABAH I TOLD YOU
I WON THE BET
Taehyun
I can't believe you betted on this
No, hanbin is completely clueless abt it
Gaeul
I didn't know gyuvin dated ricky
Vicky
They did?!?!
Gaeul
Maybe we should follow our mentors footsteps, if yk what i mean ;)
Gaeul
…
Taerae
They weren't ex boyfriends
They were ex fwbs
Vicky
Oh
Gaeul
He doesn't know, he's too busy staring at ricky from across our staffroom to his
Somi
Great
Don't let them know else the bbq would be cancelled
Beom
My lips are sealed
Taehyun
How will u bring them to the spot without them knowing?
I thought we were all leaving together
Jeon S.
Matthew and I are brainstorming abt the plan rn as we speak
Will let you know
Ryu
Please dont let the plan be cancelled
I need a drink or 2
Gaeul
Same
Taerae
Literally just bring hao and ricky a bit later
Shen X
I already told them that we would leave after half an hour
Leave with gyuvin and hanbin immediately after school ends
Taehyun
I don't think its a good idea actually
They will leave immediately after they see eachother there
Jeon S
Nooooo
Think positive
Gaeul
He's thinking realistically
Taerae
Well
Let's just focus on getting them there first
Ryu
Ya
We can just force them to not leave
Taehyun
I still do not think this will end well
The sky was beginning to darken as Hao stepped out of the car, stretching his limbs after the lengthy journey. He felt the need for a drink; perhaps it would help clear his mind. After all, inebriated thoughts often reveal the deepest truths. He followed behind Ricky and Xiaoting, with Somi at his side, while the others were up ahead, Beomgyu and Ryujin engaged in a playful argument, and Taehyun walking alongside them.
Hao observed the way they exchanged glances, silently conveying messages to one another. A persistent crease lingered between Taehyun's brows, which Hao dismissed as a mere headache whenever he inquired about it.
Lost in his own musings, he came to a halt when Xiaoting suddenly stopped and turned to face him. With a sigh, she began, "Look, Taerae told me not to tell you, but I feel like I should, or else you might just run away. So please listen and don’t bolt."
Everyone had come to a standstill, their attention fixed on Hao and Xiaoting, while Taehyun quietly positioned himself behind Hao, as if prepared for the possibility of Hao fleeing.
"What is it?" Hao asked, curiosity piqued.
"Okay, don’t be angry, but... Hanbinisalsoinside."
Hao narrowed his eyes, "Han what side?"
Xiaoting glanced at Somi before repeating, "I said... Hanbinisalsoinsidesodon’trunaway."
Hao cast a quick glance at Ricky, who appeared to have already grasped the situation. "Hanbin is here too?!" Ricky exclaimed, his voice rising in surprise.
Hao turned to Xiaoting, his eyes wide with disbelief. "But you said he wouldn't come!"
"Well, obviously everyone is coming," Taehyun chimed in from behind them, a hint of amusement in his tone. "It was pretty clear."
Somi interjected, her gaze fixed on Ricky. "Uh, Gyuvin is here as well."
"What?!" Ricky's shock was palpable.
Somi offered an awkward smile. "It's okay, guys. We're all colleagues now. We can move past whatever happened, right?"
"You should have warned me," Ricky replied, panic flickering in his eyes. "I’m not ready to confront him yet."
"You'll never be ready if you keep avoiding him," Xiaoting remarked, turning her attention to Ricky.
"You don’t get it; he doesn’t want to face me either."
"What on earth transpired between you two?" Somi asked, exasperation creeping into her voice. "Just a week ago, he was furious with you, and now he’s been searching for you while you’re dodging him."
"That’s because we kissed!"
A stunned silence enveloped the group until Ryujin broke it with a snort. "Sorry, but he has literally been inside you."
"Wait," Hao interjected, looking bewildered. "What exactly happened between you two?"
"A lot, catch up later," Somi replied, directing her attention back to Hao.
"I can't confront him," Ricky sighed deeply, the weight of his emotions evident. "It's just too complicated."
"What? Do you have feelings for him?" Ryujin inquired, curiosity piqued.
Ricky remained silent, but Hao's eyes widened in realisation. "You like Gyuvin?!"
"Is that why you're avoiding him?" Somi probed further.
"This is ridiculously dumb," Xiaoting muttered under her breath.
"You like Kim Gyuvin?!" Hao exclaimed once more.
"Yes!" Ricky burst out in exasperation. "And he knows it! That's why I can't join you all."
He turned to leave, but Somi stepped in front of him. "I'm pretty sure Gyuvin has feelings for you too."
"He doesn't."
"He literally kissed you!" she countered, her frown deepening. "Stop acting so clueless."
Ricky fell silent, grappling with the truth of her words. Gyuvin had kissed him, and while it was initiated in a drunken haze, wasn't that how many things began? He craved clarity but feared the sting of rejection. A voice within urged him to be honest, to confront his feelings like tearing off a bandage, while another whispered for him to take the easy way out—out of sight, out of mind. Naturally, he chose the simpler route, which was proving ineffective.
With a resigned sigh, Ricky muttered, "Fine, whatever."
Somi flashed him a reassuring smile.
Xiaoting shifted her gaze from Ricky to Hao, emphasising, "Now, Hao, you should understand that there's no escaping Hanbin; you both work in the same place."
"That's—"
"Why are you all standing outside?" Beomgyu interjected, stepping into the small circle they had formed. "The food is already being served."
"When did you even go inside?" Taehyun asked, puzzled.
"Right after we parked the car. I'm starving. Come on," Beomgyu said, grabbing both Hao's and Taehyun's arms, leading them toward the restaurant with a cheerful demeanour.
Hao realised there was no way out; he would have to act as if Hanbin's presence didn’t affect him.
Upon entering and locking eyes with Hanbin, he felt an overwhelming urge to disappear, wanting the earth to open up and swallow him whole.
Hanbin's gaze was intense, shifting to Taerae, and as the newcomers approached the table, it was clear that Hanbin and Taerae were engaged in a silent, heated exchange.
Gyuvin's attention remained fixed on Ricky. He rose from his seat at the far end, moving to the opposite side of the table. Hanbin shot a glare at Gyuvin as he did so.
"You," Gyuvin declared, pointing his chopsticks at Ricky before gesturing to the chair next to him, "are sitting here."
Ricky frowned, replying, "I’m not." He attempted to navigate around Gyuvin's chair, but before he could escape, Gyuvin yanked him back, forcing him into the seat with a grin.
The others settled into their places, either intentionally or not, leaving Hao standing awkwardly as he eyed the lone empty chair beside Hanbin. No one seemed to notice him; they were too engrossed in their meal.
Quietly, Hao slipped into the vacant seat, trying to make his tall frame as inconspicuous as possible.
Being in the farthest corner, Hanbin's gaze never met Hao's as he absorbed the lively conversations around him, the interns animatedly sharing stories about their colleges and personal anecdotes. Yet, it was precisely this reason that drew Hao's attention back to Hanbin, his eyes wandering to him repeatedly.
Hanbin's unruly hair brushed softly against his neck, and Hao felt an urge to reach out and touch it.
When Hanbin shifted slightly, Hao quickly averted his gaze, focusing instead on the charms dangling from his bag—a red panda and a cat. He absentmindedly stroked the whiskers of the cat charm, realising he hadn’t seen Hanbin’s in quite some time; the last time, maybe, had been during their trip, and he found himself missing those moments.
Feeling a sudden need to drink, he grabbed the open bottle of liquor before him and poured its contents into his empty glass.
Ricky glanced over, concern flickering in his eyes, but shifted his gaze to the movements in front of him, Gyuvin serving grilled meat onto his plate. He then filled another plate and passed it to Hao.
“Should he really be drinking this much?” Gyuvin whispered to Ricky, his eyes fixed on Hao as he downed the drink.
Meanwhile, Hanbin seemed to be perpetually tilting his head, and Ricky noticed him absentmindedly rubbing his neck and fiddling with his food.
“He shouldn’t, but there’s no stopping him,” Ricky replied quietly.
Gyuvin pondered for a moment, then asked, “So are we talking again?”
Ricky chose to remain silent, stuffing his mouth with pork trotters.
Gyuvin stole a brief glance at him before returning to his meal, only half-listening to the boisterous chatter from the other side of the table, his own thoughts swirling just beneath the surface.
Hanbin felt a twinge of discomfort in his neck, a cramp creeping in after hours of keeping it turned away from Hao. He noticed Taerae's gaze on him several times, each glance accompanied by a look of disappointment.
The restaurant buzzed with energy; his friends grew increasingly boisterous, with Beomgyu and Ryujin belting out songs in a drunken haze. Wonyoung nearly perched on Gaeul, leaning in to coo at her while playfully grabbing her face. Meanwhile, Taerae and Taehyun seemed to have formed an instant connection, engaged in quiet conversation, seemingly oblivious to the raucous antics surrounding them. In a moment of chaos, Matthew nearly choked on his food, laughter erupting from the others instead of any assistance for the tearful boy.
Amidst the lively atmosphere, their table remained an island of silence, drawing occasional glances from the rest of the group, the contrast almost humorous. Hanbin straightened his neck slightly, his eyes landing on the nearly empty grill before him. Ricky's and Gyuvin's plates were still quite full, but Hao's was nearly bare, with only a few remnants left.
Reaching for the grill beside him, Hanbin transferred some beef and shrimp onto their grill, resisting the urge to place them directly on Hao's plate. In that moment, he caught Gyuvin's eye, who regarded him with curiosity, eyebrows raised as he shifted his attention between Hanbin and Hao. Ricky, sitting nearby, shot Hao a look that was both concerned and irritated.
Suddenly, Hao lurched beside Hanbin, coughing up liquid as he bent down to rub his feet, shooting a glare at Ricky. Instinctively, Hanbin rubbed Hao's back and handed him his handkerchief.
The fit of coughing subsided, morphing into a series of hiccups. Hanbin turned to see Hao staring at him, his eyes wide and seemingly on the verge of popping out. The next hiccup erupted loudly enough to draw the attention of everyone at the table. Hanbin blinked at Hao, twice, before instinctively pulling his hand back, a fleeting jolt of static coursing through his fingers. He averted his gaze, clearing his throat and keeping his head lowered, acutely aware of the collective gaze upon him.
Hao's hiccups persisted as he attempted to lift his half-empty glass to his lips, only for Ricky to snatch it away, casting a look of disdain between the bottle of liquor and Hao.
"You’re done drinking," Ricky declared firmly.
Hanbin's head whipped around at that, his eyes scanning for proof and landing on the nearly empty bottle resting beside Hao.
Hao pouted, "Why can- hic -can’t I? What did I even come- hic -here for?" he hiccupped.
"Maybe for welcoming the interns?" Ricky suggested, gesturing toward the group of newcomers who were busy clinking their bottles and downing their drinks.
Hao shot Ricky a glare, but Ricky merely shrugged, his gaze flickering briefly to Hanbin before returning to Hao. "You should stay sober today."
Hao huffed in frustration, but only another hiccup escaped him.
"Why won’t they stop?!"
Meanwhile, the chatter seemed to have resumed, fueled by the chatterboxes of the group, with Beomgyu being the new addition to it.
Next to him, Hanbin was animatedly gesturing, and moments later, a waitress approached their table, positioning herself beside Hao.
"Two lemonades, please," he called out over the cacophony of voices surrounding them.
The waitress's expression twisted in confusion. "I'm sorry, what?" she asked.
"Two lemonades!" he repeated, his voice rising above the noise.
"Brandy?" she inquired, still not quite understanding.
Hanbin leaned closer, his face inches from Hao's, his hand inadvertently resting on Hao's hipbone as he reiterated, "Two lemonades!"
Relief washed over her face as she finally grasped his order. "Oh, two lemonades, got it," she replied. Hanbin leaned back, his hand remaining in place, seemingly unaware of its effect.
"Make it three," Ricky chimed in.
"Four," Gyuvin added, displaying the number with his fingers.
The waitress nodded in acknowledgment and departed.
Hao felt his cheeks flush, warmth spreading through his body as he became extremely aware of Hanbin's hand on his hip bone.
And all his thoughts broke loose, the light blaring that had been going on inside his brain since a week ago stopped.
Instead, a large scrolling banner in all capital letters blared in his brain. YOU LIKE HANBIN! YOU LIKE HANBIN! YOU LIKE HANBIN!
His eyes widened as he became hyper-aware of Hanbin's closeness, his scent, and the physical reactions coursing through him.
Overwhelmed by a surge of anxiety and panic, he quickly rose to his feet and made his way to the bathroom.
Upon entering, he doused his face with cold water, feeling his heart race and the sharp chill clearing his mind of the lingering effects of alcohol. Hao realised he would just have to find a way to push aside the sudden onset of self-awareness that had washed over him.
It’s fine. It will work out. Somehow.
But…how?
“You look as if you've seen a ghost.”
Hao was jolted from his reverie, his eyes locking onto Taerae's reflection in the mirror. He turned to face him, forcing a light chuckle. "Oh, I just... I feel a bit unwell. Maybe I should head home."
Taerae frowned, glancing at his watch. "It's hardly even midnight. You seemed fine just a moment ago."
"Perhaps I ate something that didn't agree with me," Hao shrugged, offering a weak excuse.
Taerae raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure it’s not about Hanbin?"
"No. No, it’s not—"
"I know about the two of you."
Hao's face drained of colour, as if it could pale further. "What? What do you mean?"
"The whole fake dating situation."
"I... how? Wait—does anyone else know?" His eyes widened in alarm.
"No, just me. I kind of pieced it together," Taerae replied, moving closer to Hao and leaning against the sink with his arms crossed. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"Xiaoting mentioned what you asked her earlier today. About Hanbin and his feelings for you."
"I was just... making sure."
"Making sure if his feelings are legit?"
"Yeah, well..." Hao sighed, leaning beside Taerae, his words hanging hesitantly on the edge of his lips. "I just realised I have feelings for Hanbin."
The words tumbled out in a rush, and now that they were spoken, they echoed in his ears, reverberating with the sound of his own voice. It felt overwhelmingly real.
Oh no, he had feelings for Hanbin. Sung Hanbin.
He couldn't quite discern whether it was mere affection or something deeper. This sensation was familiar; he had loved before, yet this felt entirely different, as if it were written in a new script. It was unlike anything he had encountered, a mix of fear and exhilaration, leaving him in a whirl of confusion. He felt as though his heart might leap from his chest, overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions.
Taerae remained quiet, prompting Hao to slowly lift his gaze. The moment their eyes locked, Taerae erupted into laughter.
Hao stared at him, confusion evident on his face, his expression twisting as Taerae doubled over, clutching his stomach, tears of mirth nearly spilling from his eyes.
"What’s so hilarious about my feelings for him?"
"No, it’s not that," Taerae managed to stifle his laughter, wiping away a tear. "Congratulations on being the last to catch on."
"Huh?"
"Hao, it’s obvious you like him. Even the interns have noticed," Taerae said, shaking his head with a light chuckle.
"Oh."
"Yes, oh."
"But—"
"Of course," Taerae groaned, throwing his head back. "Of course there’s a 'but'"
"Does he have feelings for me?" Hao pressed on, his curiosity evident. It was clear that Hao was already aware of the answer; he had heard Hanbin express it himself. Yet, he sought confirmation. Taerae was privy to all the details, Hao understood that Hanbin must have confided in him about the entire situation, including his emotions.
The underlying question Hao posed was whether Hanbin was certain of his feelings even when he was sober.
Taerae facepalmed, his fingers massaging his forehead in an attempt to ease the growing headache brought on by the lack of brain cells surrounding him. "Do you really need me to clarify that?"
"No, I mean..." Hao turned away from Taerae, "I know how he feels. He confessed before the break, and I've been aware for some time now—"
"What? When did he confess?" Taerae interjected, surprise evident in his tone.
"Oh, um," Hao rubbed the back of his neck, "he didn’t mention it to you?"
Taerae shook his head vigorously, disbelief etched on his face.
"It was the last day of the trip. We were, uh, intoxicated, and I kissed him while under the influence—"
"And you didn’t realise you liked him at that point?" Taerae raised an eyebrow, interrupting with incredulity.
"No. I mean, he ran off afterward, and I went to find him. Jaehyun was with him, so I kissed him again, and he kissed me back, and we—"
"How many times did you kiss, exactly?" Taerae pressed, his curiosity piqued.
"...a lot? We, uh, we ended up having sex." Taerae grimaced, but Hao continued, "Then, when we were finally settled in bed, he whispered it."
"And you’re still questioning whether he likes you?" Taerae felt the urge to pull his hair out in frustration.
"...Yes?"
With a resigned sigh, Taerae began to walk away, muttering, "I’m out of here."
Hanbin cast a glance toward the bathroom for the fifth time, aware that Hao had been inside for quite a while. Taerae had eventually followed him in, presumably to check on him. Meanwhile, tiny beads of condensation began to gather on the outside of the lemonade glass as the lively chatter of the group filled the air, everyone already feeling the effects of the drinks.
Gyuvin stole yet another glance at Ricky, his mouth opening as if to speak, only to close it again. Instead, he resumed the rhythmic tapping of his fingers against the table.
"What do you want to say?" Ricky inquired, a hint of annoyance creeping into his voice.
"Nothing."
"So you're just gaping at me like a fish for kicks?" Ricky quipped, raising an eyebrow in mock disbelief.
To Ricky's surprise, Gyuvin chuckled softly, shaking his head slightly as he propped his chin on his palm, leaning comfortably on the table.
Ricky shot him a puzzled look. Typically, Gyuvin would have fired back with a witty retort, and they would have engaged in their usual playful banter of "am not" and "you are."
"What? Why are you staring?"
"At your face."
Ricky rolled his eyes, as if that wasn’t painfully obvious . "Why?"
"Because it's pretty."
Ricky halted abruptly, the glass of water suspended in the air as he turned his attention to Gyuvin. For an entire minute, he scrutinised Gyuvin's gaze, which wandered from his eyes to his lips, then to his embellished ears, only to return once more to his eyes.
Involuntarily, Ricky shifted his head, oblivious to the fact that his flushed red ears were now clearly visible to Gyuvin, his hair only partially concealing them. “Don’t.”
“What do you mean, don’t?” Gyuvin asked, leaning in slightly to catch Ricky’s words amid the surrounding noisy chatter.
“Just don’t say things like that.”
“Why not?” Gyuvin reached out, tucking a stray hair behind his ear. “Does it make your heart race—?”
Before he could finish his thought, Ricky's hand swiftly slapped Gyuvin’s, and he pivoted to confront him, suddenly aware of how near they had become.
Gyuvin’s smile faded upon seeing the expression in Ricky's eyes. He parted his lips to speak, but the words caught in his throat as Ricky stood up, muttering a hasty “excuse me” as he bolted from the restaurant.
Gyuvin remained anchored to his seat, watching Ricky slip away, wrestling with the notion of pursuing him. Did he… did he not like me? Was it all a figment of my imagination?
Finally, Gyuvin rose, his feet moving of their own accord as he resolved to follow Ricky.
I can't let him walk away.
"Where did they go?" Xiaoting inquired of Hanbin, who sat beside her, gesturing toward the vacant seats in front of him.
He merely shrugged, aware only that they had been engaged in conversation. Gyuvin had made some physical contact with Ricky before stepping out, and Gyuvin had followed him.
"I hope they resolve their issues," Xiaoting remarked, nudging Hanbin playfully. "You could learn a thing or two from Gyuvin."
"Excuse me?" Hanbin replied, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"Shouldn't you and Hao stop behaving like children and have a proper discussion?"
"It's over; there's nothing left to discuss."
"Your relationship may be over, but your feelings are still there."
"Ah, right!" Beomgyu suddenly interjected, capturing the attention of both Hanbin and Xiaoting. Hanbin felt a wave of relief wash over him, grateful for the distraction from Xiaoting's probing.
"Is Hao changing schools?" Beomgyu asked, turning his gaze toward Xiaoting.
Hanbin stiffened at the mention. Xiaoting raised an eyebrow, questioning, "What do you mean, changing schools?"
"I saw something on his laptop," Beomgyu mumbled, "an email from Daegu High School."
"What?"
"Why would Hao switch schools so abruptly?" Matthew asked, his voice laced with concern.
"He wouldn't do that without telling us, would he?" Somi added, her tone sceptical.
"I graduated from that school," Beomgyu continued, "and let me tell you, my teachers were quite affluent. It’s honestly a tempting offer if he decides to take-"
Taehyun struck Beomgyu's thigh, and in an instant, silence enveloped the room.
His gaze shifted to Hanbin, who sat with clenched fists resting on the table, his head bowed low. It seemed Hanbin was aware of the attention he had drawn, for he took a deep breath and rose from his seat, draping his coat over his arm.
With a forced smile, he looked around at everyone and softly declared, "I should head back home," before swiftly exiting through the door.
Xiaoting turned to Somi, her face etched with concern. "He might need some space," Xiaoting remarked, referring to Hanbin.
"I'm sorry," Beomgyu squeaked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"You and your big mouth," Taehyun muttered, shaking his head in disapproval.
"It's alright," Somi replied, taking a sip of her drink. "You didn't know any better."
"But is he really leaving this school?" Matthew inquired, a hint of worry in his tone.
"He's getting a good pay here; why would he?" Xiaoting responded, her question directed at no one in particular.
"It could be because of Hanbin—" Gaeul began, but her words trailed off as she caught sight of Hao and Taerae approaching the table.
"Where did these three go—?" Taerae started to ask, pulling out a chair and gesturing to the empty seats.
"You are leaving this school?" Xiaoting interrupted, directing her question at Hao.
"Me?" Hao replied, pointing to himself, confusion clear on his face.
"Yes, you. Did you receive an email from Daegu High School?" Somi inquired.
"It said congratulations at the top," Ryujin added.
"Please tell me this isn't related to whatever is happening between you and Hanbin," Matthew said, his face contorted with concern.
"Wait a minute," Hao interjected, settling into his seat with a weary sigh, "no one is transferring schools."
"But the email..." Beomgyu's voice trailed off, uncertainty hanging in the air.
"Don't worry about it," Hao replied, dismissing the matter with a wave of his hand as he took a sip of his lemonade.
"So... you aren't changing schools?" Matthew asked again, seeking clarity.
"No."
Beomgyu exhaled in relief, "Thank goodness, I was beginning to think it was because of Hanbin."
"Speaking of him, where is Hanbin?" Taerae asked, looking around.
"Right, he, um, he found out about the email and went home," Gaeul explained.
"And he looked really sad," Wonyoung added, concern evident in her voice.
"He might have thought Hao was leaving because of him," Ryujin noted, then turned to Beomgyu, "I told you not to mention it in front of Hanbin."
"When did you—" Beomgyu began, but was cut off by the sudden scraping of a chair.
Hao was in a flurry, gathering his belongings and rushing out of the restaurant, his phone wedged between his shoulder and ear.
A heavy silence fell over the group as they exchanged glances. Matthew was the first to shatter the stillness, lifting an almost empty liquor bottle. "Another round?"
"Ricky!" Gyuvin shouted, hurrying to close the distance between them as he grasped Ricky's hand. "Wait up!"
"What do you want from me?" Ricky retorted, trying to pull his hand free from Gyuvin's firm hold. "Can't you just leave me alone?!"
"Absolutely not! Can you stop acting like I didn't kiss you? We both know it happened, so why are we pretending it didn't?"
Ricky let out a frustrated sigh. "Kim, just... stop playing with my emotions."
Gyuvin's grip softened slightly, allowing Ricky to withdraw his hand. His brow furrowed in confusion. "Playing with your emotions? What do you-? I literally kissed you!"
"Because I confessed my feelings to you! That's why you kissed me!"
Gyuvin fell silent, taken aback by Ricky's sudden outburst. A whirlwind of emotions danced in Ricky's eyes, while Gyuvin's expression twisted in bewilderment. He awkwardly rubbed his shoulder, saying, "Uh, isn't that a good thing? I mean, I would be on top of the world if my crush kissed me after I confessed..."
Ricky narrowed his eyes, feeling a surge of anger. Did Gyuvin think this was a joke? He shoved Gyuvin forcefully. "You think this is all a joke?"
"What? No—!"
Another shove followed, accompanied by Ricky's heated words. "You think it's funny to kiss me out of pity and leave me feeling confused and miserable-"
“Huh?”
Gyuvin took a step back( correction: stumbled back, almost falling because ricky was continuously pushing him and taking long strides forward) utterly perplexed by Ricky's accusations.
"-and then you have the nerve to come here and brag about kissing me?!"
Gyuvin seized Ricky's wrist just as he was about to shove him deeper into the shadowy alley. "What on earth are you talking about? Why do you think I kissed you?" he demanded, incredulity lacing his voice.
"To see me be miserable, what else?" He scoffed dismissively.
"Uh, no? Maybe it’s because I actually like you?"
"Of course you—" Ricky halted mid-sentence, his eyes widening in shock as he turned to Gyuvin once more. "Wait, you what? As in— like ? Like, like, like —? Not just the casual like ?"
"How many types of 'like' are there?" Gyuvin interjected, a hint of amusement in his tone.
"A lot, believe it or not," Ricky replied, looking like a startled cat, his wide eyes and tousled hair tousled by the wind. His hands were caught between them, held firmly by Gyuvin's grip.
A soft chuckle escaped Gyuvin, tinged with affection. "The romantic like. I like you in a romantic way."
Ricky was momentarily speechless, his mouth agape as a deep blush spread from his neck to his cheeks and ears. Gyuvin fought back the urge to laugh (like the author) at Ricky's flustered state.
But instead of the sweet ‘I like you, too,’ he anticipated, he received a sudden punch to his ribcage.
Gyuvin winced, doubling over in pain as he clutched his midsection. "Why would you—" he gasped, only to be met with another punch to his shoulder. "Say something so—" he continued, feeling the lighter blows that began to resemble the playful swats of a cat's paws. "So cheesy! Out of nowhere?!"
"Why are you hitting me?!" Gyuvin exclaimed, rubbing his shoulder as he retreated a few steps into the shadowy alley, trying to distance himself from the relentless red punching machine.
"Because I'm embarrassed!" came the reply.
"You know, typically, people express their feelings instead of resorting to violence-"
Before Gyuvin could finish, he was unexpectedly shoved back, his back hitting the wall with a jolt as Ricky's lips met his.
His heart raced, pounding loudly in his ears at the familiar softness of Ricky's kiss. It was gentle yet firm, and just as quickly as it began, Ricky pulled away after what felt like mere seconds.
Gyuvin's eyes widened in disbelief, too stunned to react to the sudden turn of events. In that fleeting moment of silence, as they locked eyes, Gyuvin instinctively drew Ricky closer, initiating another kiss—this one more fervent and urgent than the last.
He shifted his weight, pressing Ricky against the wall, allowing his tongue to explore the warmth of Ricky's mouth, driven by a desire he had never fully acknowledged. Ricky responded with soft sighs, a broad smile breaking across his face as the realisation dawned upon him.
Gyuvin was kissing him. Gyuvin had confessed his feelings. He truly liked Ricky.
They were kissing.
As they finally broke apart, both gasping for air, their foreheads rested against one another, a moment of shared understanding enveloping them.
"You have no idea how long I've waited to kiss those dry ass chapped lips of yours,” Ricky broke the stillness with a light-hearted laugh.
Gyuvin chuckled softly, leaning back to meet Ricky's gaze. "Maybe you can help me with that."
"Help you how?" Ricky inquired, curiosity piqued.
"By kissing me," Gyuvin replied, his eyes flickering to Ricky's lips. "I must admit, I quite like your cherry chapstick. I was convinced it would be strawberry."
Ricky hummed thoughtfully. "It was strawberry at first, but on the day we met, I was wearing cherry."
"Is that so?" Gyuvin's eyes sparkled with mischief.
"You kissed me so well back then; I was hoping you would kiss me again. I wished for your kisses every single day."
"Did you really?" Gyuvin's smile widened as he tilted his head slightly. "Well, I suppose I’ll start today."
"You better," Ricky teased, a playful glint in his eyes.
They locked eyes, the comfortable silence enveloping them, their bodies drawn close together.
"Why are we just staring at each other?" Ricky finally broke the quiet.
"Because you're incredibly handsome. You're beautiful," Gyuvin confessed, his voice earnest.
Ricky chuckled, a hint of disbelief in his tone. "So, you’re really down bad for me, huh?"
"Are you just realising that now? I really, really like you," Gyuvin admitted, his heart racing.
"Say it again," Ricky whispered, his voice barely above a breath.
Gyuvin leaned closer, his voice barely above a whisper as he confessed, "I like you," before pressing a gentle kiss against Ricky's lips.
"I like you," he repeated, this time placing a tender kiss at the corner of Ricky's mouth.
"I like you," he continued, showering Ricky's cheeks with a flurry of light pecks, each accompanied by a soft, almost secretive, "I like you."
He then moved to the bridge of Ricky's nose, his eyelids, and even bestowed double kisses on the small mole beneath his eye. “I like you.”
By now, Ricky was bubbling with laughter, the playful kisses igniting a delightful tickle across his face and warming his heart. “I like you.”
After adorning Ricky's features with a cascade of affectionate kisses, Gyuvin returned to his lips, sealing the moment with one last kiss while whispering, "I like you, so very much."
They locked eyes, in their own little world, cocooned in the warmth of their shared feelings.
The stars above began to twinkle, as if they were witnesses to this tender exchange, each one a tiny spark of magic illuminating the night sky.
Hao dialled Hanbin's number for the third time, anxiously navigating the desserted street in search of him. Hanbin was not at home, and had no means of going back home as he hadn’t driven here, as Yujin had informed him.
A peculiar sense of déjà vu washed over him as he pressed the call button for the fourth time, then pivoted to make his way to the nearest bus stop. If luck was not on his side and Hanbin was not there, he resolved to head to his house and wait. He fervently hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
The call went straight to voicemail. Glancing at the clock, he noted it was 12:25 and muttered a curse under his breath. The bus was scheduled to depart at 12:30. Great, just great.
Hao took off in a sprint, wishing fervently for the bus to be delayed, praying that Hanbin would be waiting and that he could reach him in time. His lungs burned as he ran, his thighs protesting with each stride, but all he could focus on were the words he longed to share with Hanbin—words that could ease the tension between them, concerning his departure from high school and the feelings he had kept bottled up.
Just as he arrived, he spotted the bus pulling to a halt, with Hanbin preparing to board.
Before Hanbin could step onto the bus, Hao seized him by the collar, nearly choking him, and halted his progress. He gasped for breath, coughing slightly, and gestured to the irritated, likely sleep-deprived bus driver to move along.
“Did you run all the way here?” Hanbin inquired, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Yes,” Hao replied, straightening up to face Hanbin. “Why did you leave so abruptly?”
“I-” Hanbin halted, extracting his buzzing phone from his pocket and showed the screen to Hao to reveal Yujin's name flashing on the screen.
“Yujin needed some help with his assignment.”
Hao stood frozen, realisation dawning upon him. He glanced down, then shifted his gaze to the board displaying the bus schedule.
1:00. Shit.
"I- I'm sorry, I thought it was about me, so I rushed over to stop you. That was foolish of me. You’ll have to wait until one o'clock for the bus, and I truly apologise. I just wanted to inform you about this school matter before you—"
"Hao."
"—started to misinterpret things. I know I could have mentioned it at school, but you literally just ignore me, and I feared that after this misunderstanding, you would disregard me even more because—"
"Zhang Hao."
"—I just don’t want you to resent me because I, I—" Hao's words trailed off as he finally met Hanbin's gaze, who was struggling to suppress a laugh. "I’m sorry."
"It’s alright," Hanbin replied, settling onto the bench and patting the space beside him, inviting Hao to join.
Hao complied, and they fell into an oddly comfortable silence, the sounds of chirping crickets and the distant hum of passing cars and trucks filling the air.
"So,” Hanbin began, “you're not switching schools then?"
"Huh?"
"That's the impression I got from your, uh, rambling."
"Oh right, I... I'm not changing. It was just a silly little challenge with my friends to see if I could pass the interview. Then I thought, why not just go for it and threaten the school to raise my pay or I’d leave, which actually worked, by the way. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d pass, but…here we are." Hao's voice trailed off, a hint of disbelief lingering in the air.
Hanbin chuckled softly, a hum of amusement escaping him. "I’m glad to hear that."
"Huh?" Hao turned to him, feeling a flush creep up his cheeks, scolding himself for acting like a lovesick teenager.
Hanbin rubbed the back of his neck, laughter tinged with awkwardness. "I... I kind of thought you were leaving because of me. I’ve been acting a bit immature," he admitted, glancing at Hao. "You know, avoiding you and all tha-"
"It’s not your fault," Hao interjected abruptly, his voice firm. He turned away, unable to meet Hanbin's gaze. "We both acted a bit childish. This whole situation was a mistake. I’m sorry."
"It’s alright."
"No, it’s not alright." Hao faced Hanbin again, gripping his bag tightly, the keychains pressing into his palm. "You don’t have to pretend everything is fine because it’s not. I—" He squeezed his eyes shut, frustration evident. "I shouldn’t have led you on."
"What?" Hanbin chuckled softly, a hint of disbelief in his voice. "You didn’t lead me on or anything. I was aware this would come to an end."
"What about that time we had sex?" Hao blurted out, immediately regretting his impulsive question as soon as it escaped his lips.
Hanbin went still, his expression frozen in surprise as he searched for the right words. After a brief pause to gather his thoughts, he finally said, "It was merely a fling, just as you mentioned."
"Just a fling three times?" Hao pressed, his curiosity piqued.
"Did you wish for it to be something else?"
Hao found himself at a loss for words, a whirlwind of questions swirling in his mind.
"You don’t have to respond to that," Hanbin quickly interjected, his gaze dropping to his lap.
Once again, silence enveloped them.
Hao's heart raced, the unspoken question echoing in his thoughts. He felt an overwhelming urge to confess, to share his feelings with Hanbin. Yet, he remained silent, his fingers nervously toying with the keychains, his eyes drawn to the one shaped like a cat. In a moment of impulsiveness, he retrieved the keychain and extended his hand toward Hanbin.
The small weight of the keychain lingered in his palm, and he turned to see Hanbin looking at him, a finger raised in surprise, pointing at himself. "It’s...for me?"
Hao nodded, a sense of vulnerability washing over him.
Hanbin remained silent as he cradled the keychain in his hands, his gaze fixed upon it with unwavering focus.
A soft chuckle escaped his lips, genuine and warm, revealing the dimples that danced at the corners of his mouth. He turned to Hao, lifting the keychain to the side of his head. "It kind of resembles me, doesn’t it?" he asked, mimicking the cat's expression with a playful grin.
Hao felt his heart race, a fluttering sensation that threatened to escape his chest. "Yes, it does," he managed to reply.
Hanbin lowered his hands, a gentle smile illuminating his face as he admired the cat's whiskers.
In that moment, Hao's heart ached, and all his emotions surged forth like a tidal wave.
"Hanbin?"
"Hm?"
"I did wish for it to be something else."
Hanbin nearly choked on his spit, coughing as he shot a bewildered glance at Hao, his eyes wide with surprise. "Wh-what? What do you mean?"
"I wish for it to be something more."
"I..." Hanbin stammered, confusion etched across his features. "I don’t understand."
A flurry of thoughts raced through Hanbin's mind, leaving him in a state of bewilderment.
Did…did Hao want us to be, like, friends with benefits? Exes with benefits? Fake exes with benefits?
“I-” Hao became acutely aware of his own words, reconsidering the wisdom of having spoken at all. The confidence that had surged within him began to ebb away as he opened and closed his mouth, his eyes tightly shut in a mix of anxiety and uncertainty.
Just say it, his inner voice urged him gently.
I can't. I can't. I can't.
Why are you so afraid? You know he feels the same way.
What if he has changed his mind?
Zhang Hao, just do it. Go ahead.
Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it—
JUST CONFESS! SAY IT! GET IT OVER WITH!
“I have feelings for you!” The words tumbled out before he could second-guess himself.
Slowly, he opened his eyes to find Hanbin staring back at him, a mixture of shock and confusion etched on his face.
Does he mean... “feelings of…friendship?” Hanbin asked, his voice laced with uncertainty.
Hao blinked in disbelief. “What? Who confesses feelings of friendship?!”
“I don’t know! I don’t want to get the wrong idea!” Hanbin retorted, his panic evident.
“Feelings of... you know?!”
“I don’t.”
“Hanbin, romantic feelings. Like, I want to date you and be all lovey-dovey with you.”
Hanbin gazed at Hao, and after what felt like an eternity, he finally responded, “oh.”
Aaaaand Hao bursted. "Oh?! Just an 'oh-?!'"
"You like me?" Hanbin interjected, still in a daze.
"That's... what I just said, yeah."
“You like me.”
“...Yes.”
A broad smile spread across Hanbin's face. “You like me.”
(Oh no, he's broken.)
"Shut up before I get even more embarrassed and change my mind!" Hao buried his face in his hands.
"No!" Hanbin exclaimed, still grinning like a fool. "You can't take it back now. I—I like you too. I want to date you and be all lovey-dovey."
"I know," Hao replied simply.
Hanbin's expression fell, "Huh?"
"You confessed that night. On the trip," Hao clarified.
Hanbin's face went pale, "You knew?! Since when?!"
"Like... a week?" Hao shrugged nonchalantly.
"Oh my god," Hanbin groaned, hiding his face in his hands. "Oh my god! This is so embarrassing."
Hao raised an eyebrow, "Liking me is embarrassing?"
"What? No!" Hanbin exclaimed, looking into Hao's eyes as he grasped his hands tightly. "Why would I be embarrassed? I—it's just—"
Hanbin was cut off by Hao's sudden laughter, adoration sparkling in his eyes as he took in Hanbin's bewildered expression. "I'm just teasing you. Oh god," he said, releasing Hanbin's hands to gently squeeze his cheeks, "you are so cute!"
Hanbin beamed, gently placing his hand over Hao's, which rested against his cheek, leaning into the warmth of the touch.
“It feels surreal, like a dream.”
"Are you suggesting that you dream about me?" Hao teased, a playful glint in his eyes.
"And what if I do?" Hanbin replied, a hint of mischief in his tone.
"Then I would say you're quite smitten," Hao shot back, a confident grin spreading across his face.
"Yet you're the one who bought a keychain that resembles me and confessed" Hanbin countered.
"Perhaps I’m a little smitten too," he admitted with a chuckle.
Hanbin leaned in, closing the gap between them and placing a soft kiss on Hao's forehead. Pulling back, he looked deeply into Hao's eyes and asked, "Would you like to date me? For real this time."
"Absolutely, I would love that," Hao responded eagerly.
“...”
“…”
“...”
"Hanbin," Hao sighed, rolling his eyes playfully, "this is the perfect moment for you to kiss me."
"You do it.”
"Me? You are the one who asked me out."
"Exactly. So you kiss me," Hanbin insisted.
Hao gave in, laughter bubbling up. "Come here," he said, grabbing Hanbin's collar and pulling him closer, bridging the distance between them.
The kiss was not given or taken, it was shared.
END