Chapter Text
HOUR ???
Catra blinked her eyes open, confused at the heavy feeling around her wrists. She tried to shuffle from the spot she was sitting in but her ankles were tied tightly to the legs of the chair. Her hands were bound to the chair, “hey Catra,” Adora teased,
“Wow,” Catra rolled her eyes, leaning back into the chair like she didn’t feel a flurry of panic in my chest, “cute setup, Adora. Really,”
“Thanks I took some inspiration from my last captor,” Adora smirked,
“Hmmm, I heard she was really hot,” Catra drawled, eyes half lidded crescents,
“You're one of the few people that cockiness looks great on,” Adora muttered, leaning forward to be face to face with Catra,
“I also look great with nothing on,” Catra flirted. Much to Catra’s delight, Adora went bright red. Catra stuck her tongue out and licked Adora’s nose. Adora giggled, “Catra!”
“What’s your aim here?” Catra raised an eyebrow, pressing her forehead against Adora’s,
“I’m taking you to Brightmoon,” Adora smiled. Catra reeled her head back and slammed it into Adora’s, both of them groaning, “what the hell, Catra!” Adora frowned, rubbing her forehead,
“I’m not going to Brightmoon,” She scowled,
“You don’t have much of a choice,” Adora shrugged. Catra broke out of her restraints with her claws, to no surprise of Adora, and booked it towards the door. Adora grabbed her tail, yanking Catra back and shoving her into a corner of the room,
“That hurt!” Catra yelled, grabbing her tail to soothe the ruffled fur, “just let me go,”
“What, so you can go back to the Horde?” Adora rebutted, “they're gonna kill you, are you stupid?” Adora seethed. Catra looked to the ground,
“I know that, Adora,” Catra gritted back, jaw clenching in anger,
“Why would you go back to the Horde if you know they're gonna kill you,” Adora hisses
“Because I know you all hate me,” Catra shouted,
“I’ve never hated you!” Adora shrieked. Catra’s eyes went wide before her whole frame shrunk, “just come to Brightmoon. I’ll keep you safe,”
“I’m not going anywhere with you voluntarily. You'll have to knock me out again to drag me away,”
“I’m just gonna cuff you,” Adora said, cornering Catra. Catra took a deep breath, hands shaking as she cowered in the corner as much as she could after Adora locked the cuffs. Suddenly, Catra shrieked as she was electrocuted, her body convulsing. Her hands snapped to the back of her neck,
“What's happening!” Bow gasped as he barged in,
“I don't know!” Adora shrieked back, “Catra!”
Catra was gasping for air as her muscles finally relaxed. Her eyes were shrunk to pin pricks and she began to scrabble at the back of her neck the best she could with handcuffs on, drawing blood. “stop!” Adora shrieked, grabbing Catra’s hands,
“There's a chip in my neck! They're tracking me,” Catra hissed, fighting against Adora’s relentless grip,
“A chip? Since when did the Horde chip people,”
"I’m second in command, Adora," Catra looked away nervously, “of course Hordak put a leash on me,”
"Second in command?" Adora’s jaw dropped,
"Unlike you, I keep my goals. Now get me a towel so we can get the chip out," Catra responded. As Adora left the room with Bow, she dug her claw into her neck, trying to find the small piece of metal. When Adora returned to the sight of Catra having stabbed herself with her own nails, she grabbed Catra’s hand immediately,
"What are you doing?!" Adora shrieked,
"Getting the stupid tracker out!" Catra hissed back,
"I have tweezers. Let me do it," Adora insisted, looking at the back of Catra's neck. Catra stayed still but she looked restless,
"Once it's out you need to evacuate, the Horde gets an alert when someone rips out their chip," Catra grunted as Adora found the chip and pulled it out; snapping the tiny piece of metal into two. Adora brought the towel to the back of Catra’s neck and held it there as it soaked up the blood.
Adora helped Catra up and went to help her walk when Catra glared at her, “don’t even think about it,” She hissed
“Bow," Adora said hurriedly, "we need to go,"
Bow stood from his spot on the couch and rushed to the car. Catra and Adora sat in the back of the van whilst Bow drove, "let’s go to Brightmoon, we'll get Glimmer’s help," Bow instructed.
Adora now sat side by side with Catra, whose eyes were unfocused. The towel on her neck was already red, "Shit," Adora cursed, "you're bleeding a lot," Adora whispered, tilting Catra's face towards her, "can you focus your eyes on me?" Adora asked. Catra felt dizzy, swaying back and forth slightly as she kept her eyes trained on Adora, "is there a first aid kit in the glove box?" Adora asked, biting the inside of her lip anxiously,
"There's nothing in here," Bow responded. Adora groaned, taking off her jacket.
"Show me your neck," Adora instructed,
“No,” Catra protested weakly,
“Catra please. You're about to faint,” Adora rebutted sternly,
“I can take care of myself. I don't need you,” Catra mumbled. Adora's eyes widened and she calmed her tone,
“Okay,” Adora frowned, “I can let you do your own thing but you're losing a lot of blood. I just want to make it stop,” Adora’s eyebrows pinched together and her face firm in a frown,
“I hate you,” Catra grumbled, before relenting and turning around with her back facing Adora. She pulled the soaked towel off and Adora pressed the jacket on. Catra used the handcuffs to apply pressure- putting her hands behind her head and pushing them forward so that the chain pressed against her neck.
“Catra,” Adora whispered,
“What,” Catra hissed, but it was weak; the usual bitter tone in her voice quivering,
“Stay,” Adora responded. Bow glanced at the two girls from the rear view mirror, unspoken words he couldn't read behind their eyes,
“Fine,” Catra responded softly,
“Promise?” Adora whispered back, leaning closer to Catra.
“You first,” Catra narrowed her eyes. Adora thought that was low, but she understood,
“I promise,”
“I promise too,” Catra murmured. So little words were said between them, yet their hearts felt heavy.
“We're here,” coughed Bow, unsure of how to interrupt their conversation. They were underground, Catra hadn't even noticed the car driving or how long they'd been in the car for.
Adora guided Catra to an elevator and punched in a code, opening the door.
As the elevator lifted, Catra swayed back and forth. She was trying to keep pressure on her neck, but she felt dizzy,
“You need to focus,” Adora said in a measured voice, “talk to me about something,”
“Scorpia and I aren't dating. I just wanted to mess with you,” Catra groaned, head leaning back against the cuff chain,
“Seriously?” Adora whined, “I thought so but then you told her you loved her,”
“Well you love your best friends, don’t you,” Catra teased, but her face was so pale,
“True, but I don't kiss them,” Adora muttered and the elevator door opened.
“Adora!” Glimmer said with relief before gasping as she saw Catra, “what are you doing here!”
“She’s injured Glimmer! She needs to see the medics!” Adora sputtered, unprepared for the door to open so abruptly,
“Likely story,” Glimmer spat sarcastically, so Catra turned around, showing Glimmer the blood stained jacket on the back of her neck. Glimmer grimaced before grabbing Catra and teleporting her.
-
It was hours before Adora was allowed to see Catra. When Adora barged into Catra’s room, she didn't expect to see a force field separating them. Though Adora can't say she was surprised; Glimmer had every right to not trust Catra, “Is your neck okay?” Adora asked sheepishly, trying to start conversation,
“It's fine,” Catra whispered back, “I don't want to be here, Adora,”
“You promised me you'd stay,” Adora fretted, biting the inside of her lip,
“I didn't say I’m leaving, I said I don't want to be here,”
“Ok,” Adora sighed; she could live with that, “I think I can get through the barrier,” Adora pressed her hand against it, but nothing happened. She frowned, leaning against the barrier “or not,” She mumbled, sitting with her back against the divider.
Catra did the same, her back against Adora’s- the divider separating them. Catra let out a sigh, before the door swung open and she got up and frowned, “Horde scum,” Glimmer growled,
“Sparkles,” Catra hissed, standing straight with her arms crossed,
“Get out Adora, Catra and I need to have a chat,” Glimmer gritted,
“No,” Adora responded. Glimmer’s eyes widened,
“I’m the queen! You can't deny me,”
“So arrest me,” Adora shrugged, “I’m staying here with Catra,”
“Adora, You're under arrest for insubordination,”
“Seriously?” Adora’s jaw dropped, “what is wrong with you,” She hissed, “don't forget what you promised me,” Adora said to Catra,
“Ditto,” Catra frowned as Adora was taken out of the room. Glimmer crossed her arms at Catra,
Glimmer waited for the door to shut before her lips pursed into a tin line,
“Here's how this is gonna go,” Glimmer stated, “you have a royal court appointment in three hours. You will be submitting yourself to a formal execution,” Catra snorted,
“Why would I do that,” Catra’s face pulled into a smirk, “you don't control me, Sparkles and I know your rules about execution. You can't force one on me,”
“Well Adora’s now being held in a cell under Brightmoon custody,” Glimmer commented, an unspoken threat lingering behind her words. Catra paused,
“You wouldn't hurt her,”
“You don't know me,” Glimmer rebutted, “and you don't know what I’ll do just to get you gone. I lost all empathy for you when you pulled that lever to the portal. The portal my mother died in. There is no one left for you Catra, not a soul on Etheria that wants you. I will do anything it takes to avenge my mother and I will never stop until I’ve exterminated you and every Horde soldier that aided in her murder,” Glimmer left the room in silence, leaving Catra to mull over her thoughts.
Eventually she collapsed onto her knees. There was only one option.
-
Catra was dragged into the throne room by Brightmoon’s guards, where Glimmer sat perched on her throne with a neutral expression. Catra looked back to the audience, noticing how Adora was allowed to attend. A small gathering of people watched her, a certain disdain in their eyes. But not Adora's; all Adora's eyes held were a sorrow of worry. Catra was shoved to her knees, and got pushed for hissing. Adora went to step in but Catra glared at her, warning her to stay back,
“I, Queen Glimmer of Brightmoon, commence the Royal Court session of Catra… Applesauce Meowmeow?” Glimmer tilted her head at the paper in front of her. Catra sent a glare to Adora; the one who chose her last name when they were being raised in the Horde, “You have committed treason more times than I can count, but your most recent crime was the kidnapping of Adora, the legendary She-Ra and commander of Brightmoon,”
At the mention of her name, Adora was beckoned to bow as a sign of respect to the queen. Adora stood upright, unwilling to bend over; her rebellion against the way Glimmer treated her. Glimmer rolled her eyes,
“How do you wish to rectify your actions, Catra,”
“I submit myself to a formal execution,” Catra stated blankly.
The silence in the room was painful as everyone awaited Glimmer’s response,
“Very well,” Glimmer. Adora’s veins pulsed with anger,
“You murderer!” Adora yelled, running towards Glimmer, “you made her do this!” Adora was jolted down by a taser, screaming out as she fell to the floor. Guards picked her up and escorted her. Catra’s eyes stayed clenched shut, unwilling to face Adora,
“You can't execute her, Glimmer. You're not thinking rationally,” Bow’s tone bared a warning, “She may be a bad person but you can't justify killing someone,”
“I think it’s best if we have this conversation in private, Bow,” Glimmer gritted, narrowing her eyes at him,
“I quit my position as a front line force and tactician,” He stood tall, “I will not fight for Brightmoon when we're just as bad as the Horde,”
“She volunteered for this! I didn't do anything wrong!”
“We are supposed to be the good guys,” Bow finished weakly, leaving the room.
“Catra’s formal execution is scheduled in one week. Royal Court dismissed,”
The small crowd murmured with disapproval but Glimmer kept a neutral face- careful not to show any emotion.
-
“Are you serious?!” Adora shouted as she barged into the holding cell Catra was in, “did Glimmer make you do this?!”
“You need to run,” Catra was desperate as she walked up to the magic barricade and held it,
“I promise you I'd stay and that's exactly what I’m doing!” Adora hissed,
“No. You aren't hearing me. You aren't safe here,”
“Neither are you! I’m going to find a way to get you out,”
“No,” Catra hissed, “my time is up,”
“What’s your problem?! They're going to kill you. Is it because you think I don't want you? Because I really want you-”
“Shut up!” Catra yelled, “maybe I want to be executed,” Catra lied,
“Don't say that,” Adora stressed,
“I was in the Horde. You really think I’m happy?” Catra resigned, “it's deserved, Adora,”
“Please, stop!” Adora screamed,
“No, because you just want to think of me as a morally grey person when I’m just a shit person. I killed the queen!”
“Don't lie! You said your kill count was zero. You pulled the lever but you didn’t kill her,”
“Yes I did. I pushed her into that oblivion and she’s been dead since,” Catra lied,
“I saw it happen!”
There was a chilling silence in the room until Adora spoke again. Her voice was chilling,
“You're trying to hurt me and make me run, but that will never work. Nothing you do scares me. You're just as human as me, and I’m sick of you pretending you aren't,” Adora felt her heart beat in her ear as silence ensued. Catra hissed and turned around. Adora let out an indignant scoff, leaving the room.
-
“Not so strong now, are you?” Glimmer teased. Catra looked up at her with blurry eyes; she hadn’t moved in a day
“So what?” Catra growled, standing up, “you've taken everything from me. My headpiece, my privacy, my dignity, my will to live, the list doesn't end. When is it going to be enough for you?”
“I cancelled your execution despite all the atrocities you've committed. You're just trying to get in my head-” The smug and arrogant tone in Glimmer’s voice made Catra’s blood boil,
“No. The world just becomes crystal clear when there's nothing worth living for,” Catra finished, walking away, “you and the stupid rebellion don't care about anyone, you all just care about looking good,”
“We save villages and homes from the destruction that the Horde tries to cause!”
“You never cared about the orphans of the Horde,” Catra said in a low tone,
“You guys are bad people! How could we care,”
Catra snapped.
“We were children!” The tears started to head in Catra’s eyes but… no; she doesn't cry in front of people.
“Adora, Lonnie, Rogelio and Kyle. I want you to remember those names when I’m dead. That was my squadron. There are 20 squadrons of kids every ten years, each one of them groups of five. One hundred innocent children and there was not one attempt from the rebellion to break into the Horde and save us,” Catra took a shaky breath in, trying to regather herself, “do you wonder why the Horde resents you so much, even that tiny part in Adora? This is why,”
Catra knows just when to pause, exactly when to take a break to watch Glimmer’s face process it,
“I have spent my whole life protecting that abused kid inside me from your sparkly corrupted rebellion, because you never made it safe for that kid I was,”
Glimmer’s gut twisted and she looked to the ground with burning shame.
“Kill me with your own hands or reschedule my execution for all I care, but don’t you ever call those orphans of the Horde ‘bad people’. They're the purest of kids subjected to far worse than you can ever imagine and you're sick for thinking they're guilty of anything more than existing,”
Glimmer suffocated in the silence that followed, “I just want to avenge my mother,” She whispered,
“Leave!” Catra screamed, throwing the chair against the barrier. Glimmer teleported away instantly.
Being alone wasn’t bad, not when there was nothing left for Catra. No thoughts, no tears, no anger. Just emptiness,
-
“Eat it,” Glimmer said sheepishly, handing Catra a tray with food on it, “I used to eat these all the time as a kid. I figured you deserved to have the experience as well,” Catra didn't talk. She hadn't since three days ago, when she screamed at Glimmer. She hadn't eaten either, and she only drank water when she had to, “is there anything you want to eat?” Glimmer asked quietly, still very much overcome with shame. Glimmer was met with all consuming silence, so she stepped into the barrier, “come at me, Catra, hurt me with all you've got,” Catra didn't move, except to sluggishly turn away from Glimmer on the bed, “I’ve already cancelled your execution. I cancelled it as soon as Bow and Adora left. The rebellion is falling apart. Is this not what you wanted?”
“You don't get to want when you're raised in the Horde. You think as a group. It’s never about what I want it’s what the Horde wants,”
“You want Adora, don’t you?” Glimmer responded softly. Catra’s eyes widened,
“Don’t you dare.”
A threat settled behind Catra’s eyes. Glimmer swallowed saliva down her dry throat,
“Sorry. I guess I really want Bow. Thought it might be like that for you and Adora,”
“Go get him, you can have everything you want,” Catra spat. Glimmer sat against the barrier,
“He would never forgive me, I've turned into an awful person,” Glimmer muttered,
“Grief makes you do horrible things,” Catra mumbled, shuffling to sit next to Glimmer
“Never thought you’d sympathise with me. You have every reason to hate me,” Glimmer held her knees closer to her chest and Catra did the same,
“One day, in the far future. I’ll forgive you. Until then I just understand where you're coming from,”
“You don't have to,” Glimmer said,
“I know,” Catra shrugged, looking at her nails nonchalantly, “I hurt a lot of people grieving Adora,” Catra admitted quietly,
“Adora’s not dead,” Glimmer tilted her head,
“Felt like it when she left. She was my sense of safety. I stayed at the Horde because she was there. When she saw what the Horde was doing to the world she left. She never left when she saw what the Horde did to me,” Catra hugged her knees. Glimmer could tell that the topic was indefinitely nuanced,
“Oh,” Glimmer muttered, “that sucks,”
“Yep,” Catra hummed, “betrayal at its finest if you ask me,” The silence that followed was comfortable. Catra picked up the food Glimmer brought- a dumpling shaped thing- and took a bite, “This isn’t poisoned right?”
“No,” Glimmer laughed, ripping off a bit from Catra’s and eating it, “my mum used to make it for me when I was younger,”
“Nice,” Catra murmured, before staring at her knees, “do you have my headpiece?”
“The red thing? Yeah, just a minute,” Glimmer teleported and reappeared in seconds with it held in her hands, “why do you love it so much?” Glimmer asked, running her hand over the red metal before handing it back to Catra. Catra let out a shaky exhale, putting it on,
“I’ve never had much. But this, I’ve always had,” Catra picked at a scab on her knee, focusing on anything that wasn't Glimmer, “I guess, this was the only thing I’ve ever been gifted. You don’t get stuff in the Horde, really. Unless you’re Adora, she was just lucky that Shadow Weaver loved her so much,” Catra frowned at the memories; she couldn't help but feel a little spiteful, considering Adora got pencils and crayons and Catra got tied down and electrocuted,
“Oh,” Glimmer said blankly, “Shadow Weaver didn’t love her though,”
Catra croaked, “Bullshit. Try growing up through my eyes and tell me that after,”
“I’m serious, it’s an abuse tactic,”
“Get lost,” Catra hissed, stumbling away from Glimmer and facing towards the window,
“Catra?” Glimmer murmured,
“I would've done anything to be in her shoes. I wanted some higher-up to think I have potential, someone to believe in me. She had all of that and she left it,”
“I believe in you,” Glimmer said. There was a beat of silence
“You almost executed me. You thought I was better off dead,”
“No, I thought I could avenge my mum by killing you. I was wrong,” Glimmer insisted,
“You’re lying! You're trying to mess with me!” Catra seethed, pointing an accusatory finger at Glimmer, “you're just as fucked up as this whole system,”
“I promise I’m being honest,” Glimmer was surprisingly calm- she was never level headed to someone who was rude to her. But this was different. She was seeing the pieces of someone she broke apart, “I started a thing in your name called the Applesauce Project. We broke into the Horde last night, rescued 74 children. We’re heading back soon for the rest of them. We aren’t going to stop until we get them all,”
“Brightmoon can't handle that many kids,” Catra stated,
“Many of them were kidnapping victims. Very few kids are born into the Horde. So far 15 of them have been placed home, but we’re working on it,”
“Oh,” Catra muttered. She wasn't even sure how she was supposed to feel. She spent her life hating Brightmoon for pretending to be good but never protecting her from abuse and now they were saving the kids. All it took was telling someone who would listen, “do you think…” Catra’s voice trailed off,
“Go on,” Glimmer gestured for her to continue
“Do you think I have parents?” Catra asked softly. Softly; Catra felt herself writhe in her skin, before remembering nothing really mattered anymore. Who cares if she didn't have her defensive walls up, she was almost dead.
Glimmer stroked her chin for a moment, “I think it’s possible. I could try looking?”
“No, don’t waste your time,” Catra shrugged, walking over to the bed and surrendering to it,
“Adora is returning to her position in Brightmoon. She made it clear it was just for saving the Horde kids but I’m sure she’ll swing by. Finish this, okay?” Glimmer said, putting the meal she made on the bed next to Catra, “Goodnight,”
Glimmer teleported away, leaving Catra in the room alone.
Being alone wasn't awful, but the mention of Adora made Catra reel about her again. Maybe she still felt something, maybe she did want Adora,
“Catra?”
“Fuck!” Catra shrieked, frightened by Adora, “how long have you been there?”
“I can get you out,” Adora offered, ignoring Catra’s previous question,
“I don’t care anymore,” Catra stated blankly, rubbing the back of her neck,
“What's that supposed to mean?” Adora frowned,
“There's nothing left for me, Adora. So as far as I’m concerned I just don’t care,”
“Catra,” Adora whispered hoarsely, “I love you,”
Adora’s confession was messy, possibly at the worst time. Catra frowned as she looked back at Adora,
“You don’t have to love me back,” Adora whispered, pressing her head against the barrier, “but I’m here for you. You don’t have nothing, you have me,” Adora sighed, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes, “I just hope it’s enough… that I’m enough,”
“Leave,” Catra frowned, “I’m only going to hurt you,”
“You don't want me to leave,” Adora pointed out, “I promised you I'd stay. If you stand back from the barrier, I can disable it with this contraption Entrapta made, just give me a moment,”
Catra stepped up to the barrier, holding her hand against it. Adora narrowed her eyes at her, “I’m not letting myself hurt you. It’s not worth it Adora, for either of us. I’m over everything. I’m over with having to care because I’ve gotten used to being alone. It’s cold but it’s familiar,”
“You do care, Catra,” Adora whispered, “I know you care,” Adora rested her head against the barrier, “just trust me, please,” Adora stared deep into Catra’s eyes.
Catra stepped back.
Letting Adora shock the barrier and disable it.
As soon as it whirred down, Adora ran to hug Catra. Catra collapsed into Adora’s arms.
It was only a few weeks ago that Catra was strong, full of enough muscle to hold Adora captive. But now Catra was so weak her ribs were starting to peak through her chest.
“You need to eat, I can't believe Glimmer has starved you,”
“Glimmer didn't starve me,” Catra shrugged, “she convinced me to eat,” Adora made a grim frown of confusion,
“She almost executed you and now she's making missions in your name and helping you eat? She's so unpredictable,” Adora groaned,
She’s hurting too,” Catra responded, pressing her head to Adora's chest, “forgive her,”
“I’ll do that when she gets the guts to apologise,” Adora scoffed,
“Hey Adora? I’m still sorry,”
Adora paused, her hands in Catra’s hair stilling, “I forgave you long before you ever apologised,”
“We both know I don’t deserve that,”
“Yeah but I can’t help it,” Adora whispered. Catra hugged Adora tightly,
“I don’t know how to fix things,” Catra whispered, her eyes watering,
“I’m not sure either. Let’s just try,”