Chapter Text
After the conversation with Saki and Minori, many days passed calmly. And of course, Tsukasa continued to fail in all his attempts to propose to Rui.
The next most awaited event by high society would be in the following day, the wonderful opera at the Royal Theater, organized by the group directly supervised and financed by the Otori family: The Phoenix theater troupe. Famous throughout the empire for their breathtaking performances, and with all tickets always selling out in a few hours, there is no one in the entertainment world who does not dream of being part of such a group.
But this time, everyone's excitement was not only due to the outstanding performance of the social season, but especially because that particular year, the Phoenix troupe would present a play in collaboration with another very successful troupe.
Rui notably kept mentioning that. Since it had been years since he had last seen Asahi perform with the theater troupe managed by Arkland, the Genbu family's company, the nobleman was extremely excited.
“ They are fantastic! I dare say, on the same level as the Phoenix troupe!” His beloved had said several times in the last few days.
And it’s not like Tsukasa didn’t agree. Despite few, he had already seen some of Arkland’s performances, and he knew that its reputation was deserved; but unlike the others, Tsukasa wasn’t as excited as he thought he would be, since it was theater, one of his passions.
The reason? Simply because all of Rui’s restlessness and anxiety prevented the nobleman from concentrating on some conversations or activities. In public, Rui was always talking to Asahi and reminiscing about the past, and when alone, Rui didn’t give any room for any conversation or romantic moment, somehow always bringing the subject back to Asahi and his troupe.
Without Tsukasa realizing, that terrible feeling began to emerge again. But he wouldn’t bring it up right now, he had more important things to deal with first, like the poised lady in front of him.
“Let me see if I understand correctly, Your Highness. You want a leading role in tomorrow's play? ”
Sakurako Seiryuin, prima donna of the Phoenix troupe, looked at him in disbelief. And rightly so, since Tsukasa had just made the absurd request of letting him perform in the most significant play of the year. Without warning.
“I know it sounds absurd!-”
“It is.” She interrupted mercilessly.
Tsukasa was unfazed and tried to argue. “But this is an adaptation of a famous play! I know all the lines and actions!”
“And? Surely there are other theater fanatics in the empire who know too.” Impassive as ever.
“Please, Miss Sakurako!” He resorted to begging.
“No, and that's final. I don't care if you're the prince or the emperor himself, there are rules to be followed for a perfect performance.”
Perfectionist and demanding. Famous traits of Sakurako's striking personality. Tsukasa sighed deeply, knowing full well that she was right and that his request was just his stubbornness telling him to at least try once.
“Besides, you know that even if I let you, I’m not the one you have to talk to in order to ask permission to take part in it.”
“I know, but your support would certainly help.” Tsukasa knew that he would probably have a high chance of succeeding if he had Sakurako and Emu’s support, the big problem would be the two Otori brothers. Not even Emu’s adorable, bright eyes were capable of getting her everything she wanted.
“Next time, ask months in advance.” She recommended before grumbling, “Not that I think you’ll have time to practice for a play, since your royal duties only increase as your coronation approaches.”
Tsukasa grumbled along, but in a resigned manner. “It’s certainly something that’s inevitable, but that won’t be the only thing that will take up my time in the near future.”
That caught her attention. “What else would?”
“A wedding, of course.” Tsukasa sounded proud of himself.
Sakurako’s eyes widened in surprise, and then she smiled in disbelief. “Oh? So you finally proposed to your suitor? About time you did.”
At that, the prince smiled awkwardly. “Erm, not exactly. I still have to propose.”
The prima donna sighed, disappointed but not surprised. “And I had hope…”
“Don’t say that, I was planning to do it tomorrow!”
“Tomorrow? Is that why you wanted to take part in the play?”
“Yes! I would propose at the end, on stage! Wouldn’t that be amazing?” Sakurako stopped him with a wave of her hand, shaking her head and silencing him with her diva-like aura.
“As grand as it is, I would never accept that. You know how much of a mess the theater would be. Please propose outside when it’s all over.” Her tone left no room for arguments.
“Yes, ma’am…” Tsukasa finally agreed, sighing with his head down. A proposal after the play wouldn’t be so bad, even if it wasn’t as grand as on stage. All areas of the Royal Theater are extremely luxurious and beautiful, possessing extreme historical relevance and even a romantic charm. Rui would certainly appreciate a proposal there.
A knock on the door caught the attention of both of them, and Asahi entered without looking ahead, eyes fixed on some papers in his hand - some kind of list.
“Miss Seiryuin, about that prop- oh? I didn’t know Your Highness was here.” Asahi appeared and exclaimed somewhat confused when he finally looked up and saw Tsukasa with the prima donna. “Have you come to escort Rui to the next event of the day?” His soft smile brought no comfort to Tsukasa.
“Rui is here?” They hadn’t seen each other that day yet, as Tsukasa had woken up early to take care of some imperial matters and then come to talk to Sakurako.
“Didn’t he tell you? Rui offered to help fix a prop that had malfunctioned at the last minute, even though I insisted it wasn’t necessary and that someone on the staff could do it, but he said he wanted to make sure everything was perfect and safe for to be used.” Asahi laughed, and Tsukasa’s ears twitched. “By the way, that’s what I came to tell you, Miss Seiryuin. The props are working perfectly, thanks to our future duke of the north~”
Internally, Tsukasa wanted to intervene, correcting it to ‘future prince consort’, but that would be extremely impolite and against the rules of etiquette, since he hadn’t made the proposal yet. The prince opted to just make a sound of understanding.
“Great. With that, we can proceed with the last rehearsals before tomorrow. Thank Lord Rui for me.”
“I will do that.” Asahi nodded with a smile, already moving to leave the room, Tsukasa intervened, following him.
“Ah, I’ll go with you. I was just leaving anyway.”
“As you wish, Your Highness. This way, Rui is waiting in my dressing room.” Asahi politely guided him.
Inside the dressing room? Well, it’s not something strange, Tsukasa is just being paranoid. After all, how many times have they visited Nene in her dressing room separately? It was only natural to want to talk in a comfortable and private place so as not to disturb whoever was working or rehearsing at the moment.
The internal structure of the theater was fascinating to an enthusiast like Tsukasa, and no matter how many times he had been backstage, he always admired how well planned the place was, taking into account all the details necessary for the movement of the actors, producers and set components.
In just a few steps, not even a minute of walking, Asahi stopped in front of a wooden door with a plaque with his name on it. Out of politeness, he knocked twice before opening the door and entering.
“Rui, I met Your Highness on the way , and he came to escort you back!~”
The aforementioned guy turned around with a script in his hands, the surrounding environment slightly chaotic with a few tools scattered around. “Tsukasa? How did you know I was here?”
“I didn’t, I just found out…” His tone didn’t show any strange emotion. Rui smiled and went to hug him, too embarrassed to greet him with a kiss in public even if Tsukasa always did it himself.
“Did you also come to check on the opera’s preparations?” His excitement didn’t reflect on Tsukasa’s eyes, who smiled anyway, holding him in the hug for a few more seconds.
“ … Something like that. But I was already leaving.”
“You should go with His Highness, Rui. Now that you’ve helped us, I don’t want to take up any more of your time.” Asahi reminded him he was still present, and Rui quickly let go of Tsukasa.
“My time with you is never a burden. It’s always a pleasure to help you and talk to you, Asahi~”
“I say the same. Miss Seiryuin also thanked you for your help.”
“All for the play!” He laughed. “I guess I won’t see you until tomorrow?”
“Yes, I’ll be busy with the last rehearsals.” Asahi lamented. “But don’t worry, I didn’t forget about having dinner with you all after the play.”
Ah, Tsukasa had forgotten about that. Rui proposed they celebrate the collaboration between the two troupes with a luxurious dinner, and everyone was quick to support the idea. Being a noble-hearted person and the prince, Tsukasa offered to organize the details with Rui in one of the palace halls. Fortunately, he had already prepared everything in advance.
“I wouldn’t let you forget, the palace has some of the best chefs in the empire!”
“Well then, until tomorrow. Your Highness; Rui.” Asahi smiled and bowed briefly to the two, who left the dressing room and made their way to the theater exit. Tsukasa offered his arm to Rui, who happily accepted it while chattering about the props he had fixed that day.
“I believe I can do even more impressive things for the next big play they have!”
“I don’t doubt you, Rui.” Tsukasa smiled. “But aren’t you already too busy? Don’t overwork yourself, both troupes have the best crews at their disposal.”
“Don’t worry, I know my limits!”
“You said the same thing four months ago, before you passed out after three days of no sleep because you wanted to test your new hypothesis of merging magic and alchemy.”
“But in the end, my hypothesis proved correct! And now the research centers are investigating the other possibilities further~”
Tsukasa sighed with a smile on his face. “I’m proud of you, but please don’t sacrifice your health for technological advancements.”
“Tsukasa, this is basically what my family has always done for the empire!”
Ah, the Kamishiro family's bad habits were apparently genetic.
“Well, I'll find a way to improve that then!” Tsukasa snorted and practically dragged Rui so that he could walk faster to the waiting carriage. He didn't know what time Rui had arrived there to help the troupe since they hadn't met yet that day, and the prince knew very well that it was highly likely that his lover had taken no breaks during work.
“ Let's have tea, since we didn't have breakfast together. You need to rest before the other activities of the day. ”
And before Rui could protest, countering with some half-truth, Tsukasa silenced him with a quick and soft kiss.
Granted, his plans to propose on stage had been ruined by Seiryuin, but just as she had said, he could propose at another time later the same day. His best options were after the opera — in the lobby of the Royal Theater, and during the celebratory dinner that evening.
After having tea together, where the conversation was practically a monologue of Rui enthusiastically talking about the next day's play and other achievements of the Arkland troupe, Tsukasa had to once again say goodbye to Rui to go to an important meeting. Although his mind was tormented by the chance to propose, and many were waiting for him to do so, Tsukasa was still the crown prince. And even during the social season, he had duties to fulfill; duties that only increased with time.
His parents, the great rulers, were already advanced in age, and would love to spend the rest of their lives relaxing in one of the royal country houses. His father told him that since Tsukasa had informed them he was going to propose to Rui, he would at least wait until after the honeymoon to abdicate the throne and enjoy retirement with his wife.
They were not merciful enough to at least wait for him to propose before increasing his lessons and responsibilities, but at least he had been coping well so far. Studying diligently, holding meetings with the council and ministers, making important political and diplomatic decisions, even reviewing the laws and taxes of the empire. Perhaps it was because of his busy schedule that he no longer had as much time to spend with Rui, and a pang of disappointment pierced his heart.
Emperor…
Tsukasa had always thought that when he ascended to the throne, he would be alone. That despite his parents believing that a wedding by love was ideal, the prince would end up just choosing the best candidate for the position of empress to help him guide the empire.
Well, now he was meeting both criteria, since he was sure that Rui was the best for the position and loved him more than anything! Tsukasa was 12000% sure that the two of them together would become one of the best rulers the empire has ever had!
If he accepts… No. I can't think like that. When he accepts.
The blond slapped his cheeks twice, filling his mind with positive thoughts.
“Tsukasa? Is everything okay?” Toya's worried voice made him raise his head, seeing his younger brother of consideration catch him in a delicate moment.
“ Toya! Don't worry, everything is fine, as always!~ ” He smiled brightly, going to meet the other.
“Problems with the marriage proposal?” Bingo.
“ Yes … Your botanical garden idea failed, unfortunately. ”
“Oh yes, Saki told me about what happened. I'm sorry, Tsukasa.” Toya comforted him honestly, but not even the affection of his adorable pseudo-brother can heal Tsukasa's wounded ego. That was a perfect moment, and it was completely thrown away because of a spider.
“I was thinking of making the proposal tomorrow, after the play. Do you happen to have any other ideas for me?” Tsukasa asked hopefully.
“ Hmm , maybe. We can discuss it after the meeting. It wouldn't be good for us to be late.”
“AH! The meeting!!”
Toya laughed softly as he saw Tsukasa run off and drag him along, already accustomed to the blond's antics, and followed his pace to the meeting room.
It was the day of the play, and all the nobles who had come to the capital would be in their finest attire. Since it was one of the great attractions of the social season, all the fervor was justified.
As they usually did, Rui and Tsukasa were matching their outfits that day. This time, they chose a palette of complementary blue tones, along with silver accessories with white jewelry and pearls. Truth be told, it is not common for unengaged couples to match their outfits, but Tsukasa and Rui were both romantics at heart who loved details like that.
As they got out of the carriage, the prince immediately began to analyze all the possible places where he could propose. At the top of the stairs, in front of the entrance, near the fountain, in front of the phoenix and pegasus statues, next to the stained-glass windows, surrounded by flowers… Tsukasa probably looked like a madman looking everywhere, he could even feel others' and Rui's own eyes on him, but the one who finally decided to stop him was Saki.
“Brother, is everything okay?” His beloved little sister asked in a delicate voice, as if to not scare away a frightened animal. Tsukasa quickly returned to normal, posing and laughing loudly as always.
“Ha ha ha! Of course I am, Saki! Why wouldn’t I be?”
Saki didn’t even try to pretend to believe her brother’s words. “Is it about that subject?” She whispered to him, just in case, since Rui was nearby.
“ … Yes, more or less…”
“Don’t worry, Tsukasa, you’re an amazing person. I know everything will work out in the end.” The princess said smiling and instantly calming Tsukasa’s heart a little, who smiled back with a genuine smile.
“ … You’re right, Saki. Everything I put my mind to, ends up working out! Ha ha ha!!”
“Do your best, brother!!” They gave a high five with both hands, attracting more confused but found looks. Not every family had siblings as close as Tsukasa and Saki.
“Me too! Me too!” Emu appeared out of nowhere and imitated the high five with the siblings, then went to do the same with Rui, who did so without hesitation.
“What is the reason for such celebration?” the nobleman asked, laughing softly.
“I don’t know, but if Saki and Tsukasa are happy, then I am too!”
Rui hummed in agreement, infected by Emu’s joy. “You’re right~ But how about we go to our private box? We don’t want to be late for the start of the play, do we?”
Everyone agreed and continued into the theater, where it was full as always. If it weren’t for the privilege of having private boxes to watch the play, they would have stayed in the seats furthest from the stage.
“See you after the play!”
Saki said goodbye in the access corridor, at the fork in the paths to the private rooms. Ever since they officially announced their respective courtships, Tsukasa began watching the plays in the Otori box with Rui, Emu and Nene; leaving the royal family box for Saki and her wives, to give them more privacy.
The three of them went to the box and sat down in the armchairs, watching the crowd as they finished sitting down. Sitting between Tsukasa and Emu, Rui noticed Countess Asahina in a box further away, who was looking at them with a smile that didn't reach her cold eyes. Rui nodded out of politeness and promptly looked away.
“Countess Asahina clearly still holds a grudge against me for helping her daughter leave home.” Rui laughed awkwardly.
Tsukasa shot an equally cold look in the woman’s direction, which she politely chose to ignore. “It was to be expected. It’s only been two years since Mafuyu began formally training to be a knight under the protection of the Kamishiro family.”
“I know a mother cares for her daughter, but…”
“But what’s the point of this ‘good intention’ if it’s not entirely true and Mafuyu was unhappy, right?” Emu said, crossing her arms, unusually serious from her usual cheerful energy.
“Besides, the Countess also provoked you with rude comments.” Tsukasa clicked his tongue in irritation at not being able to do anything since he wasn’t present that day. Rui stroked his hand to calm the blond, preferring not to remember that at that moment; that episode was a story for another day.
“Let’s pay attention to the stage now, shall we? The play is about to begin~” Right on time with his speech, the lights in the theater went out, leaving only the stage lit up for the actors to enter.
The big opera that year would be another theatrical adaptation of a famous story from the empire, set hundreds of years ago, when magical beings inhabited those lands in abundance and even helped humanity. The protagonists were Asahi and Sakurako, recognized as some of the best actors of their age; right behind them was Nene, playing an important supporting role, and with a solo and a duet with Sakurako.
Nene had practiced a lot for that role and barely stayed in the north, too busy in other regions of the empire with the troupes to train. Rui internally lamented the lack of appearances from the diva in the last few months, but it all proved to be worth it at that moment, since his dear childhood friend shone so brightly under the spotlight. She had really progressed a lot to get there, and had heard a lot about Sakurako's demands in training, which even though she complained, Nene followed all and improved more and more.
Absorbed by the plot and acting, the three watched the play with total attention, reacting to each surprise and twist with distinct sounds and restrained exclamations. And without realizing it, they were soon watching the end of the third act and the end of the play, applauding in a standing ovation—they even noticed that their eyes were shining with unshed tears due to the emotion of the outcome.
The applause lasted about eight minutes before the actors finished saying goodbye, thanking each other and left the stage, followed by the spectators also heading for the exit of the theater. Tsukasa, Rui and Emu did the same, going to meet Nene as usual.
Backstage, Sakurako, Asahi, and Nene were carrying bouquets of flowers that had been given to them in celebration of the successful play, and both Emu and Rui had bought their own bouquets to gift as well.
“Nene, you were so wonderhoyful!! Your voice sounds just like a beautiful mermaid!!!” Emu jumped on Nene, covering her face with kisses while Nene tried to cover herself with the flowers, laughing.
“Your acting is better than I remember, Asahi! I missed your performances.” Rui decided to speak to the other noble while Nene was busy with Emu.
“I’ve worked hard to improve myself over the years, Rui!” Asahi accepted the flowers with gratitude and a cheerful smile, hugging the other nobleman carefully.
Rui naturally returned the hug. “And your efforts have borne much fruit.”
Something inside Tsukasa once again stirred in displeasure at seeing the two so close. Inside his stomach, churning his meal, blocking his arteries and lungs, squeezing his heart painfully. It doesn't matter; it doesn't matter, it's nothing, just ignore it and smile.
“And nothing is said about my performance?” Sakurako reminds the others of her presence, her tone not in fact mad.
“Your performances are always perfect, Miss Sakurako, and we can’t find any more adjectives to praise you~”
“Hmph, I will accept your apology, Lord Asahi.” She replied by turning her face away, but it wasn’t enough to hide the raised corners of her mouth. They laughed lightly at her reaction.
“We’ll change quickly so we can go to the palace for dinner.” Nene finally separated from Emu to tell the others and returned to her dressing room.
At that moment, reality dawned on Tsukasa: in a few minutes, he would propose to Rui.
Every sound around him fell silent, and the prince isolated himself in his mind, overthinking again. Considering that they would go straight to the carriages, they wouldn’t pass by the gardens or sculptures in the theater; therefore, the most plausible thing would be to propose somewhere on the main staircase or at the entrance. Although the stairs would be crowded with people leaving, and it would cause more chaos than Tsukasa would like… The entrance would be then.
The three actors returned as soon as the blond reached his decision, and they were able to head to the theater's entrance hall.
What Tsukasa didn't expect, however, was the large amount of people who were waiting for the main actors to come out from backstage so they could greet and congratulate them themselves. Well, the three of them were considerably famous, so it made sense.
“Miss Sakurako, an autograph, please?!”
“Lord Asahi, could you give us a minute for a quick interview?!”
“Lady Nene, are you planning on touring the empire soon?!”
There were even people from the media inside?
But wait- Maybe this was the ideal moment! He was in the center of attention, even though he wasn't the subject. The moment he knelt, everyone would surely stop talking and pay attention to him. This would also give Sakurako, Asahi, and Nene a moment of peace! Tsukasa is a genius.
“Ahem- … Rui!” The blond grabbed his beloved’s hand, catching his attention.
“Yes, Tsukasa?”
“On this beautiful night, with the festive atmosphere, I would like to give us one more reason to cele-”
“Sorry, can you speak louder, please? There’s too much noise around us-” Rui spoke louder, so his voice could carry over the crowd that still surrounded them, calling for the attention of the actors.
“I said that on this beautiful night-”
“Is the night beautiful? I think so, but first we have to leave the theater to confirm!”
“ No, no , I would like to give us one more reason to celebrate!”
“One more reason for the masquerade? It’s too late to plan one, Tsukasa-”
“Argh, this isn’t working out!!”
“You are moving out??!!”
“No!!!!” Tsukasa yelled in frustration, his hands on his face to muffle the sound. “Forget it, I’ll leave it for dinner.”
“Yes, we need to leave for dinner, or else we’ll be late.” Rui still couldn’t hear him properly, but Tsukasa had already given up trying by now. “I see Saki and the others waiting for us at the door, let’s go!”
Rui grabbed Tsukasa and Emu’s hands and pulled them towards the entrance until they were free of the crowd surrounding them. Fortunately, they dragged the actors with them as well, which allowed everyone to hurry down the stairs and get into the carriages, in order to avoid being surrounded again.
“Peace, at last!” The prince sighed in relief, slumped on the cushioned seat of the carriage next to Rui, with Emu and Nene on the opposite one. Asahi and Sakurako got into another carriage right behind them, as did Saki, Ichika, Honami and Shiho in another royal carriage.
“What were you trying to tell me, Tsukasa?”
The blond froze for a moment with the curious looks of the three. “I’ll tell you later, now it’s too late…”
Rui narrowed his eyes with some suspicion, but decided to let it be. If Tsukasa said he would tell him later, then he would patiently wait.
The journey to the palace took longer for Tsukasa than for the others, as he was once again freaking out internally over his mistake. How could he miss his chance again? The moment was perfect, but the amount of people – fans – ruined everything.
… Okay, maybe it was a bit selfish of him to want to steal the spotlight from the actors after such acclaimed success. Perhaps Rui wouldn't appreciate his decision if it had happened, angry that Tsukasa didn't take other people's feelings into consideration, especially when it involved dear friends. Because of that, possibly his mistake was actually a salvation from the gods, taking pity on his situation for once!
Thank you, deities! Please continue to support me! Tsukasa said in his mind, going crazy. At least his excitement was back.
Soon they arrived at the palace and were guided to the dining room prepared for the night. Since it was a personal celebration, only a few extra people were invited, namely Toya and Mizuki, who arrived shortly after them.
Everything was perfect, the decorations impeccable, and the table arranged according to the rules of etiquette… Oh no, the rules. In his turmoil, Tsukasa forgot an important detail in all of this. Since they were both hosting the dinner, Tsukasa and Rui were to sit at each end of the rectangular table, as dictated by the hosting etiquette.
The prince could only feel a little regret as he pulled out Rui's chair for him and went to the opposite end. With five chairs on either side of the table, the distance was too great to have a conversation easily. Although the aim was to propose in public, Tsukasa would still have liked to gently open the subject with a few sweet words, but alas that would not be possible.
On Rui's right sat Asahi, followed by Mizuki; while on his left sat Nene, followed by Emu. On his own right sat Sakurako, followed by Toya and Shiho; and on his left sat Saki, followed by Ichika and Honami.
Once everyone was in their proper seats, Tsukasa signaled for the first course of the three-course meal to be served: carpaccio and various breads to be eaten with pates and other accompaniments. The initial plan was to serve a mild pumpkin soup along with the breads, but Rui was firmly against any dish made purely of vegetables.
The conversation went on in a friendly and festive atmosphere, sometimes involving the entire table, sometimes not, and before the prince realized, they were already heading for dessert. Time passes quickly when you're having fun they say, but he still hadn't forgotten his mission. At dessert time, Tsukasa would propose a second toast (the first made by Rui during the main course), and then propose.
He took a deep breath, reorganizing the words he was going to say while watching Rui from across the table. He was laughing with the others at something Asahi had said seconds before, but the blond was too far away to have heard clearly. They were sharing personal stories from their time together in the north, a time when Rui had not met Tsukasa and vice versa.
On the one hand, Tsukasa was happy that his beloved didn't have so many bad memories of the north, since he knew how much Rui suffered from loneliness at times due to his eccentric personality, periods when even the people who cared most about him were absent for various reasons. On the other hand, Tsukasa didn't fit in on that side of the table, where those people had known Rui for much longer than he had, even Emu.
It was a selfish and terrible thought to feel out of place just because of that. The blond knew very well that this was irrelevant to their relationship.
But still … He couldn't help but yearn.
Of that side of the table, the attention of the night, the spotlights that illuminated them.
Rui's full attention was on Asahi, emotionally telling others something about his process of getting into character. Every movement, every line, every expression, only highlighted how exceptional Asahi was in his acting second-job, attracting everyone's interest.
This was a profession Tsukasa had wanted to follow when he was younger. A dream that had become just a hobby as he grew up, and now he had completely left it behind since it wasn't appropriate for a future emperor. It wasn't like he would have time for it either.
But it was okay, he didn't mind not having all the spotlight on the stage for himself. Even if everyone had their backs to him, Tsukasa would be satisfied and happy as long as Rui's brightest gaze was on him. His beloved's attention was the only one that mattered.
However… At that moment. In the last few days. In the last few weeks. Didn't Rui's eyes shine brighter when he looked elsewhere? Just like the others, they followed the light of the spotlights that didn't belong to Tsukasa.
It wasn't for lack of trying. The prince tried several times to claim those lights back, succeeding for a short time before being pulled away by other issues. Accidents, people, duties, commitments. He was tired of that feeling, of failing, of losing.
He recognized the feeling now, hard to ignore when the pain in his chest is tremendous, when the roots crush his lungs, suffocating him. Tsukasa never thought he would end up jealous of someone, or worse yet, that he would be afraid of the possibility of losing Rui.
But if a star like the sun can't light up the night without the moon, then what could the blond do alone in the darkness of his mind?
Without realizing it, time passed, dinner was over, and Tsukasa remained in the shadows.