Chapter Text
As soon as Sixer crossed the threshold, the portal behind him abruptly closed, and a completely new dimension appeared in front of him. It did not look like anything out of the ordinary, after all, during his 30-year journey, Ford had managed to see multiverses of different types, and the current reality was more like an ordinary hospital or a hospital, which were full in his native dimension.
Despite the fact that this place was gigantic - where the ceiling was a couple of kilometers higher than Ford, and the number of the strangest creatures of all sizes exceeded the number of monsters he had seen in his entire life, it looked relatively normal, as far as anything in the multiverse could be called by such a word. The walls in the room were white, and if you close your eyes to all the stereotypes, it did not resemble a mental hospital that much.
Outside the windows one could observe the edge of this reality, a boundless universe in which thousands of stars died and were born every second, but Sixer was not concerned with the beauty of such a strange but interesting place, his only goal was Bill again, and the first test was his search in such a vast room, which, in fact, defied any logic in terms of its structure. Some doors were on the ceiling, which no creature could reach, and the stairs in most cases led nowhere. Therefore, Sixer decided to figure it out on his own, and after walking a couple of meters to the right, he opened the first door that appeared, behind which, it turned out, a huge one-eyed creature was crying very loudly, from whose appearance you would not say that he was capable of repentance, and tears in general. Therefore, having apologized, Ford closed the door and went to look for at least some clues about how to find at least something in this extremely strange place.
To be honest, Pines' head was already overflowing with a huge spectrum of thoughts and emotions. It was hard to believe that such horrible creatures as Bill Cipher and his ilk could find solace and have the right to redemption, because, no matter how you look at it, the number of creatures they killed exceeded millions and billions, and Cipher's count was increasing a thousand times every minute until the latest events. It is impossible to even describe the amount and horror of suffering of the creatures killed by the monsters that were in this institution, in which they all looked extremely helpless, wearing orange shirts with shorts and walking around the sanatorium like ordinary mortals. Could they deserve compassion? Understanding? Consolation? Wouldn't it be easier to get rid of them, to sentence them to a worthy punishment? Although, I didn't want to fill my head with such thoughts, after all, Shestopal himself was no better; once a selfish narcissist who managed to play pranks both in the multiverse and in his own world, and most importantly, made the main mistake - he gave freedom to Cipher, believed in his flattery. And you shouldn't close your eyes to the lives he destroyed - if Stanley "only" was deprived of his personality, then Fiddleford was the least fortunate of all. Not only did he lose his wife, son and loved ones, but he went crazy precisely because of Ford's selfishness. His madness could have been avoided if Sixer had not been so arrogant and blind. But the feeling of guilt gnawed at him, and devours him every day, because who else but Ford should live with the baggage of mistakes, traumas and suffering on his shoulders? The scientist wanted to get bogged down in his thoughts and philosophy even deeper, as a gentle voice called out to him behind him. Turning, he met the gaze of Axolotl. And in his current form, he looked twice as harmless as he had during their first meeting in the dream. Now he was a small version of the creature whose form he had imagined, standing on several legs, just like a human, in a white coat and a blue shirt with trousers. He smiled broadly when meeting Ford and held some documents under his arm.
- Stanford Pines! Welcome to "Theraprism"! I am very glad that you finally came. I hope no one created any problems for you while you were waiting.
Sixer was a little surprised. Seeing a god in the suit of an ordinary employee of a hospital for sick psychopaths was very... Interesting, and unexpected, and the friendliness of the creature only reinforced the rumors of his sincerity and kindness. Ford looked at him a couple more times from top to bottom, and then, blinking, followed him through the corridors of the hospital together with the creature, which was now almost his height, if not shorter.
- As a scientist, you probably think this is all stupid, and I can understand you. In this place, we give all creatures a second chance - maniacs and murderers, dictators and sociopaths, a chance to re-enter society and reconsider their outlook on life. And first of all, we study their behavior, we begin to understand where evil comes from. Secondly, this is extremely useful for the other patients, because there is no point in getting rid of them if their hatred is immortal and boundless. But Cipher's case is extremely difficult. The Child of Time tried to reason with him, but it led to nothing. Bill does not make contact with anyone, but expresses an extremely strange and slightly about unhealthy attachment. Sees something in you that we don't see, and is ready to make contact and recovery if it comes to you. Therefore, we really appreciate your support.
- Are you sure that your methods of treatment work? - Ford really thought about the words of the Axolotl. After all, in his place, he would never have given Cipher a chance, he would have exterminated and torn him to atoms at the first opportunity. And in principle, the words of the Axolotl about Bill's "attachment" worried Ford even more. And could such an approach even work on Cipher?
- Fortunately, the course of therapy we have chosen works for the others, which cannot be said about Cipher. It works, but extremely slowly, and frankly, to notice progress, you need to be extremely perceptive. Therefore, we want to speed it up, and find a unique approach to Bill.
Ford was silent for the rest of the time while the Axolotl saw him off to the meeting place. He put the thoughts about the god's words aside for later, as he was more focused on his anxiety. After all this time, meeting Bill face to face was, frankly, a little scary and unsettling, because it wasn't just his power that scared him, but rather how much Ford believed in him, how easily he could fall for someone else's flattery because of his low self-esteem. More than anything, he was afraid of himself and his mistakes. Those he had already made, and those he could make. Meeting Bill meant not only meeting the tyrant who destroyed his and other people's lives, but also meeting his main mistake in life, the moment when his existence went downhill, meeting the most terrible phase in his life, when his fortune, ego and selflessness were trampled and broken into many pieces, which Sixer had to collect piece by piece over the course of 30 years. He needed to meet old fears and feelings that he had locked away several decades ago. To dig again into his incomprehensible and unhealthy, sometimes extremely positive and loving, and sometimes unbearably heavy feelings for the only being who claimed to understand and accept him. And what a pity that it was not so, that his hope to find a similar to him, a broken and misunderstood being with a congenital anomaly was nothing more than a stupid dream. He longed for this understanding, and found it in the circle of loved ones and family. Now, the new and more aware Stanford, although still carrying a huge bag of problems and worries as a result of his actions, was ready not to break under Cypher's manipulations a second time.
Arriving at the place, Ford turned to Axoltl. Cipher was nowhere to be seen.
- Excuse me, I will ask you to take Bill to the window, and you can have a conversation. We will, of course, strictly monitor the topics Bill raises, his reactions, and the like. If something goes wrong, the conversation will be suspended and we will send you home.
Shestopal listened only with half an ear, because all his thoughts revolved around his old memories and emotions.
Bill
Bill
B̶̪͕͔͋͂̂ill
His name echoed loudly in his head, so, having answered dryly "Yes, okay", he went to the seat, which was opposite the glass wall, behind which his interlocutor should sit.
***
Bill blinked. Looking around, all he saw was a black, boundless emptiness, the same one that he saw and experienced when he died. He tried to move forward, but in the endless wasteland, the only living soul was himself. Until he saw two silhouettes. One of them glowed red, and the one standing next to him emitted a slightly blue light.
- Mom? - Bill asked, and then ran to meet two familiar figures.
- Mom, Dad, it's me!
He felt like a child, and what can I say, he was half his usual size. He felt so scared, so pathetic, so naive. And like a pathetic animal, he was trying to find a way to hide from the black desert he had left behind.
- Mom? Dad? Are you okay?
Cipher was worried. He couldn't fake a smile like he used to.
Not here.
Not now.
Not when his parents were alive.
So he ran closer, pressed himself against the two figures, and then looked up, only to see a blur of static, flesh and blood all around him. There was nothing left of his loving parents. But their smoldering hands only squeezed him closer and closer, anxiously asking for help.
"Why did you do this?"
“You killed them all.”
"Help us"
And Cipher just watched in horror. Watched how the bodies of his loved ones spilled blood, how their body parts and eyes mixed into one big lump of flesh. How they, like drowned men, dragged Cypher along with them. Dragging him into the abyss of death and oblivion. And all he could do was endure it, because he couldn’t scream. And yet he screamed.
“It hurts.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Please, HELP ME.”
And Bill woke up. Woke up, completely sweating, with a slight shortness of breath. And the first thing he did was check himself for a hat and tie. What if he really had died again? Having made sure that all his body parts were in place, he finally got out of bed. He did not pretend that another nightmare, which could not leave him alone for several days, which worried, disturbed and frightened Cipher, he did not, and there was no need. His thoughts were occupied with something else. They were filled not only with hatred for another new day lived, but also with genuine joy that today, what was planned could come true. That today he would be able to brainwash another old man, and pave his way to freedom. But for the time being, he decided to stick to the same regime.
He stared at himself in the mirror for a couple of minutes to bring his exhausted expression in order, and curse Stanley a couple more times for the scar left. Then he put in the drops, and left the room for breakfast.
Nothing happened during the meal, and it's not like anyone ever sat with Cipher. He either drove the creatures away himself, or they were too insulted by Bill's behavior. And no matter how you look at it, even in such a miserable situation, many monsters were still afraid of Cipher. Still, in this complex there were at least a dozen living beings that Cipher had subjected to suffering, pain and torture. Physical or moral it didn't matter. Many dimensions of these beings were exterminated, or their families, brothers and sisters, children and friends were brutally killed by Bill, and who would want to forgive him after that?
Even after starting breakfast, his mood did not improve. The bland taste of food made from who knows what left a strange feeling of disgust in his mouth. The taste was either too salty, or too sweet and sour at the same time, and this caused Bill to gag. Therefore, once again neglecting breakfast, he went to live his routine day once again.
The first on the schedule was, as always, joint therapy, which Bill, unfortunately, could not avoid. Entering a spacious room that screamed with inscriptions like "Smile", "Respect others" or "Love yourself!", Cipher felt sick again, as it happened in the past.
The pink and white wallpaper did not make him feel better, but rather the opposite. The rainbow panels and someone's crooked drawings only reinforced the atmosphere that this room was equipped for kindergarteners. Pink chairs were neatly arranged around, and in the middle, on a larger and certainly more comfortable wooden chair, sat Axolotl, who, in principle, always worked with their, as he himself often put it, most restless group. (In particular, because of Bill).
Having walked with the crowd of his "cellmates", he sat down at the furthest, in his opinion, chair next to the one-eyed flying creature, put his leg on his knee and began to count the seconds until the end of his suffering.
According to human timekeeping (which Bill was too accustomed to living by), the session lasted about an hour, but even that was enough to brainwash Bill with the importance of friendship, compassion and self-acceptance. Because Cipher knew everything, but he didn't want to, he couldn't rationally accept the information he was forced to believe. He himself had his own bitter experience, so how could what he was told contradict him so much? Maybe he really was sick? Bill only tried to forget about this thought, because every contradiction and doubt in his head caused him an unhealthy storm of emotions and a desire to destroy this dimension to hell.
Closing his eye, he counted exactly 180 seconds until he heard the voice he hated, and lost count.
- I think we've done enough work for everyone to learn some kind of lesson. Therefore, to complete the topic we took this time, I want everyone to apologize or express regret for one or more of their misdeeds. They don't have to be real, but I want you to be sincere and honest. But of course, here you can share your true story. No one will judge you. Axolotl just smiled and blinked his eyes lightly, twitched his ears, looked at the list and pointed his pen at the creature, who, to Cipher's great happiness, was sitting exactly 10 chairs away from him, which meant that Bill would be the last to speak, if he spoke at all.
Cipher exhaled, and then, closing his eyes and placing his hands near the butterfly, he began to slowly count the seconds until the end again. He did not listen very much to what his "cellmates" were saying, he did not care at all. He was too worried about thinking about the perfect lie that would play into his hands. Should he win everyone's approval? Pity? Empathy? Or would rage and fear be the best choice, which he could use later? Or maybe he should be sincere? Try to achieve that "forgiveness" that Axolotl spoke about so often? Allow yourself a moment of peace, beyond the overwhelming sense of guilt and pathetic self-hatred? Give yourself a second to catch your breath, to believe that not all is lost? And despite the flow of thoughts, he continued to count the seconds.
655..
656...
And his turn was approaching, but he still could not collect his thoughts.
815..
816..
He heard someone else's speech out of the corner of his ear. One of the monsters began to talk about its pathetic backstory again, but this time it spoke differently. Its story was rough, cruel, but at the same time tender and sad, it spoke about the existences of its native dimension and its loved ones, expressed regret that it did not make a different choice, that it ended up in such a place, that it became what it is. He pitied others and blamed himself for his own existence, apologized to beings who had been killed long ago and forgotten by everyone in the boundless multiverse, whose names and faces he could not forget. He did not cry or even express emotions as before, it seemed that he was really feeling better, better. And Cypher was jealous, he wanted to feel the same, but each time he sabotaged his recovery with his own hands. He understood perfectly well what he was doing. He understood perfectly well what he was running away from, and his awareness did not help him, but made it worse. Bill had long forgotten about the possibility of becoming better, his faith and hope had burned out, along with his past on earth. He only clenched his hands tighter, and then...
899..
900...!
Exactly 10 minutes had passed since the last speech and it was finally his turn. Would he remain silent? Or make excuses? Would he bring everyone out on emotions again, or would he just send them and leave? He thought, and every second he realized that something was pushing him to be sincere. He didn’t have to talk about his sins, admit his wrongdoing, but just apologize. Was it difficult?
He sighed slowly, and with a slight note of anxiety, he began.
- I... - He fell silent, clasped his hands into fists and continued to look down.
- I regret that...
Memories of "Euclydia" enveloped his thoughts entirely. These were not only terrifying nightmares and sweet dreams about everything being fine, but also memories that he did not want to remember. He hesitated, and when he realized that he did not remember the faces of his main victims, he gave in and continued.
- I regret not having destroyed you all earlier, losers! I can’t believe that I’m still here. And maybe I should have exterminated the entire Pines family in the first place. My life would have been easier!
He laughed, seeing angry or indifferent faces. And then he looked again at the disappointed Axolotl, and it seemed that, having followed him, he himself was disappointed in himself.
- Thank you, Cipher. Frankly, I am very sorry that I hoped that you would achieve any growth and progress today. Most likely, it will take twice as much work as I expected. Thank you all, you have 15 minutes until the next session.
Axolotl looked again at Cipher, clearly drew a cross on the form that he had been fiddling with all hour in his hands, and left after the others, leaving Cipher alone again.
Bill stopped grinning. He was left in the dark room completely alone, in a duel with his thoughts and prejudices. He got up from his chair and went to the windows, which were carelessly curtained, pulled them up, and continued to do another of his favorite things - looking at the stars and the little universes that these stars were. They died and were born again, shining so brightly that sometimes they seemed to spoil Bill's vision, and yet he could not tear himself away, and allowed the brightly burning stars to burn his eyeball. Perhaps his strange habit and
was indeed the real reason for his deteriorating eyesight. Still, his father often forbade him to stare at the light for too long, not knowing that he was seeing something completely different from all the inhabitants of Euclid. And he continued to stare during the entire "change". The night sky always looked so beautiful that he couldn't tear himself away, and despite all his hidden personality and the suffering he had brought, most of all, he probably wanted to share this moment with someone. To explain why the night sky was more precious to him than anything else, why he treasured some dimensions so much.
- Cipher, are you coming?
A long white monster in a jacket and tie appeared in the room, he unceremoniously entered the room and interrupted Bill's beautiful idyll, and, looking irritably at the person who had entered, Cipher replied.
- Yes, yes, I'm on my way. - And he left the room, leaving the stars for tomorrow.
Finding himself in a new office, which looked the same as the last one, except that all the wallpaper was a soft pink color, instead of the usual white, he sat down on a soft carpet in a circle, finding himself right in front of a strangely smiling monster, similar to an angler fish, who was the "teacher" of their flock of crazed killers. Bill usually did not come here. He did not see the point and believed that he knew almost all the subtleties of any other people's feelings and emotions. He simply did not need empathy. But after the first session, something prompted him to come here. Either from a strange feeling of guilt (which had never appeared before), or because even if he decided not to come, he would be forced to the lesson. So, resigned to his desperate situation, he put his head on his knees and began to listen to nonsense about the importance of communication and acceptance of others. And when it came to "hugs", he hid somewhere in the corner, avoiding any tactility.
Most of the lesson was uninteresting to him, nothing caught his attention, so he was again mired in his thoughts. After all, despite everything, the thoughts of meeting his "panacea" did not leave him since yesterday. It was just happiness! The fact that Ford, who most likely loved him too much or hated him too much, decided to visit Bill, made his heart beat from how pathetic Shestopal remained. Cipher understood well why he wanted to visit him. He understood what influence he still had on many entities, and he was glad that Axolotl was too stupid to understand it.
All Bill needed was to press on Ford's weak point, and he knew it very well. Such a vulnerable man had found peace in the family circle, and if he disturbed his hard-won idyll, everything would fall apart. He knew Stanley's problems and mind very well. He knew about the secrets of Deeper and Mabel. And the only one who was still a fog for him was Shestopal, even if he knew him inside and out. What can I say, he knew every spot on his dirty body, remembered every scar left by his own person. Remembered the size and weight of his palm in his. Even if he did not know the "new" Ford as well as the one he remembered 30 years ago, it did not mean that he did not know his current values. And he was very glad to use the opportunity in the form of his old pet. Thoughts of escape only fueled his interest in the meeting. And besides them, he grinned from sweet memories and a pitiful desire to talk to the only creature he could tolerate.
After counting 2400 seconds, the lesson was over and Bill was free. He decided to avoid eating once again, so that his stomach would not turn inside out after the unfamiliar new, non-human diet, so he found himself in his room before everyone else. He lay down on the bed and began to think about the ways and options for developing their conversation. He was well aware of the problems of the Pines. Still, he had heard very well about injuries, fears, and was well aware of his heavy impact on this pathetic family. While he still had his powers, he often looked into their dreams. Mabel was often afraid to hear things she should not. She was afraid of her parents, especially her father, when they were arguing about the divorce, and he knew how insecure Dipper really was, and easily took over his body, and taking over the sphere when it was in the hands of a little girl who was desperately trying to escape the cruel reality was like stealing a lollipop from a baby. And damn, how much background he could find after spending a couple of minutes in Stanley's mind. No one could be so ugly and pathetic. Prostituting himself, ruining his brother's career and life, lying to everyone and deceiving everyone, what had Stan not done? And after all this pathetic bag of bones and flesh was able to outsmart and get rid of Bill. Even Cipher could hardly imagine how desperate and self-destructive one had to be to do what he did. Usually, people like him give up much earlier, and he almost gave up, before meeting his brother. If things had gone differently, Bill would now be free, together with Ford, ruling this insignificant multiverse side by side in a duet with Shestopal. He would parts of the hospital. Bill just walked around and looked around, because the interior and approach in this place were very different from theirs. Instead of pure white walls, they were grayer, either from dirt or bad paint, and there were twice as many windows as in their institution. After a couple more turns, Bill found himself there. And frankly, he was even more worried than before.
Even from afar, he could recognize the silhouette of his previous toy. Gray hair, his broken glasses, which he did not want to change, the same coat and scarlet sweater.
Bill was smiling and preparing himself, so, coming closer with Axolotl, he sat down opposite Ford, smiling and looking him straight in the eyes, listening to someone else's instructions.
- I am very glad that the meeting was a success. And I am very grateful that Stanford decided to come to us for a meeting, so you will have about 30 minutes to talk. I hope that will be enough. I will be nearby.
And Axolotl left. Of course, there were a couple more creatures around who were talking to their relatives and friends, but the duo of Stanford and Bill looked extremely out of place in their entire institution.
There was a window between them both, and considering the good noise insulation in their cabin, Bill decided to do without phones.
- Greetings, Sixer! As I see, you really missed me, since you decided to keep me company.
Bill smiled, and Ford only winced at every word Cipher said, which made the dialogue more and more intriguing for Cipher.
Ford looked at Bill with a mixture of disgust and surprise. Here it is, the very creature that terrorized him and his grandchildren all summer. The one who continues to torture his brother and does not give him peace even now. Bill Cipher, alive and almost unharmed, sat in front of him and tried to start a conversation on some stupid topic, as he did 30 years ago when they first met. And everything poured into Ford's thoughts. From the memories of 30 years ago, to the extremely terrible events of weirdmageddon. He did not know what to say or how to react, and most of all he was afraid of making a mistake again. To fall for manipulation again, to become a victim again.
- I will not waste time here, Bill. I am extremely surprised that after all the harm caused, you are not dead. I can't believe that the Axolotl decided to have mercy on you..
- Have mercy!? - Cipher interrupted him. He grinned. - Fordsy, don't joke with me like that. This place is a pure nightmare! I am extremely glad to see at least one intelligent and equal creature in so many months.
Bill rubbed his eye and continued to look at Ford. But if you look closer, Sixer really has changed. He's aged, he's turned grey. Sometimes Cipher forgot how quickly the human species dies and replaces each other. This, of course, really struck him. After all, what do they live for if the next moment they'll disappear? And it seems he only understood their meaning after he met Ford. He even forgot that he could die someday.
- You're not equal to me, Bill. I won't be nice to you, because you understand your current state perfectly well. You've fallen so low, Cipher. It's disgusting to look at you.
- And you don't even want to sympathize with me? I'm actually trying very hard to correct the mistakes of the past and "heal", as they say here. Don't you care how I'm doing?
Bill was tormenting Ford. He liked their new game, both trying to inadvertently insult each other or bring someone to a nervous breakdown. That was how their relationship had always been, it seemed. Only Ford seemed to feel power and advantage over Bill, and he didn't like it. But that wasn't his goal.
- No, Bill. You almost destroyed my entire dimension, and you think I'll come here just to "chat" with you after all that?
- Oh, come on, Sixer, don't you remember how good we used to be? I've changed. With their help, I was cured, and you still reject me? I don't even have my old strength! I'm powerless!
Bill watched as Ford's gaze fell from him to his uniform, he examined his bow tie, his hat, and very noticeably examined his scar.
Looking at it, Sixer remembered his wounds too. They really did have a good time. He liked it when Bill flattered him, back then, 30 years ago. When he was so lonely that he would take any food, but at the same time, he was so selfish and arrogant that no one except Cipher could probably satisfy his narcissistic desire for praise. And then, his flattering comments and sweet compliments turned into crude lies and he used every compliment to his advantage. He tortured him, and then praised him for his good endurance.
- Do you really mean those years when you tormented me and my soul by "having a good time"? Do you even know how many scars I had to stitch up because of you? Creatures like you cannot "heal". And did Stanley really give you that ugly scar?
Ford adjusted his glasses and looked closer, and then began to examine the other person's wound even more obscenely. How much did Stan sacrifice for his family? For his sake?
- Yes, yes, your brother did this to me. And now it's his fault that I have to see a scar in my reflection every day!
- You almost killed us all! And that's the only thing that bothers you so much, what worries you? Your pathetic scar? And after that you ask for compassion? - Ford raised his voice.
- No, that's not the only thing that bothers me. I'll be honest, this place is hell incarnate. All my friends are illegals in other dimensions now, and I'm very bored. And I know why you came.
Bill lowered his voice. He saw that Ford understood everything, and did not hesitate.
At this time, Stanford realized that he had taken the bait the moment he agreed to the deal. But what else could he do for his brother? If by sacrificing his ego and conscience, his family could start living a normal life, he was ready to take the risk. To step on the same rake again.
- What's your point?
- It's about Stanley, right?
Bill smiled wider. And Ford just froze. He blinked, and was clearly more nervous. They were silent for a few seconds, until Bill continued.
- I may be powerless, but I can do something. Part of my consciousness is still in Stanley's head. You were so hoping that you could get rid of me, and restore the memory of your dear brother? Ha! You were very naive. So, I want to offer you a deal.
After his words, Ford frowned even more.
- Who do you take me for? Do you really think that after everything, I will repeat my mistake for the 2nd time?
- No, what are you saying! This is a regular deal in words, on pinkies, or how do you people even make these deals? I don't have the power I used to have. All I want is for you to visit me weekly. And in return, I will leave Stanley's mind. A deal without any handshakes.
Bill smiled. He smiled brighter than in all the last days. He understood that Ford had agreed, and he knew how to sneak into his head, how to make him open the diary and let him out. It seemed that at that moment Bill had already come up with a plan about how usefully and profitably Ford could be used. And not only would he keep him company, but he would also help him, naively following someone else's manipulations. And Shestopal continued to think. And he thought for a long time.
- Tick-tack, Fordsy! I can't wait forever, time is running out.
Ford's gaze darted around, and then stopped at Bill.
- Okay, I agree! But if you harm my family, I will personally come here to kill you.
1799..>
1800...!
Just like the alarm clock, the Axolotl came up to them.
- Time is up! If you wish, you can visit Bill later, and you can keep the scissors. Once again, thank you for being here.
Axolotl smiled at Ford, and Bill watched as Sixer looked back with an anxious expression, looking straight at Cipher, cut the portal, and returned to his home dimension, and Bill knew that sooner or later he would follow him.