Chapter Text
Chuuya's eyes flickered open. Was it morning already?
The rush of realization was instant.
The cigarettes, the storm, and the gloom of the rain. The odd warmth she felt from a stranger.
It was a fever dream, wasn't it?
"Oh, Chuuya, You're awake.", she heard Verlaine's voice coming from outside of her room. Who picked her up last night? Verlaine? No wonder everything was so disoriented, she thought her friends picked her up but in such a daze, she couldn't bother understanding why is she at her sister's apartment at the moment.
Estranged, even.
"What am I...doing here?"
"I know you're confused.."
Chuuya slammed a pillow at her, it was too early in the morning to deal with this, anyway.
Her eyes spotted her sister's gentle smile and her messy hair, it was almost as if it was the old times again when it didn't have to be this way at all. She didn't bother remembering when everything was messed up, was it her sister's overprotectiveness that drove each other off, to the point where they were strangers.
XXXXX
Chuuya's eyes flickered open after two hours when she scanned her surroundings to make sure of the predicament or whatever situation she found herself in.
She was still in that damned room.
"Verlaine. You still here-", Chuuya stopped in his tracks when she saw the back of her sister. The change in her long braids and the visible glow, it was almost enchanting to witness.
"Oh, you're awake again"
"Again. Yeah. Mind telling me how did I end up in your crappy apartment again dear sister?", she cringed. Did she even hear itself?
"You mean beautiful"
"Shitty"
"Graceful?"
"Waste of space, actually"
"You never changed," Verlaine smiles, brushing a strand of loose hair that fell in front of her. It was lovingly tender, like the way she always used to do when they were young, no horrible thing has ever happened to them, like it was back to how it was before, like not the deafening silence that flooded her senses whenever she talked with her older sister on the phone, the fondness was apparent.
Verlaine could move on but her little sister couldn't, she wished she could forget, but she didn't.
"Back to my question, what brought me here?"
"Albatross had an emergency to take care of"
Chuuya sighed, It must have something to take care of immediately when she's in Verlaine's apartment of all places.
"What about the rest?", Chuuya raised an eyebrow, it wasn't that surprising to see her group of friends with the busy schedules they had, it was just so unusual for all of them to disappear out of the blue.
It was her birthday in a few weeks.
"Isn't it your birthday in a few days, I bet you're not that dumb to piece all of it together", Verlaine smiled warmly.
Annoyingly enough, her sister was right. Her friends, specialized theatre maestros, "The Flags", Chuuya was nowhere close to their levels- laurels and ballads that the poets and established songwriters could sing about them. It was endless.
Chuuya could say they saved her life after the mess that destroyed her family.
Then why does it feel so empty? When she has the best people around her?
She loathed that feeling at times, but hey atleast, she had her birthday to look forward to.
"You're right," Chuuya slid off the counter, sighing softly.
"So...How are things?"
Chuuya stopped in her tracks as she held her hair to tie it up, she slid her hands into the sides of her trousers to stop her hands from shaking, the memories looming back into her.
She grits her teeth, not wanting to get lost in the shallow darkness, helpless and uncared for, not that it mattered, she had always had to find a way to fend for herself, the world doesn't give a silver spoon and feed you to scale heights.
"I'm.....fine...anyway I'll see you later, I just want to get some fresh air", Chuuya sighed, she tied up her hair in a bun as she left to shower.
Verlaine blinked at her for a moment and nodded accepting her answer and letting her go, " We need to talk...but I know-"
"Know what, that you fucking left and..."
" I had to, it was for the best..i know its hard to understand...maybe..i should've-"
"You know i get...it...is it so bad that I'd like to hold a grudge against you...? ", Chuuya sighed and turned towards her sister. "Are tall people specifically this overbearing?"
"I guess i got a little caught up in my ambitions"
"Guess thats the horror of it all.. disappearances that shock you the least.", Chuuya laughed bitterly and Verlaine winced.
Chuuya knew whatever that drove Verlaine away from her had to do with an affair of sorts, it was definitely not her business to pry, but some bad sort of thing, something that crushed her soul, pained her even.
Not that she noticed a lot, it was just a random change Chuuya noticed in the past few days before she ran away from home.
Verlaine was able to move on easily, poised and elegant like the way she carried herself, there was no point moping over the past mistakes done as a teenager right?
Yet, that's exactly what she did.
Chuuya knew her sister too well to know that it had always been an act of play and pretend.
"You know that's not what I-"
Chuuya saw her sister falter and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. She left the room, she could deal with talking with her sister later, their internal familial issues were for another time.
"Save it for later....I have errands to run", she barely whispered as she left the room, savoring the warmth the shower brought her, like a stranger but it felt like coming home.
XXXXXX
The cafeteria was buzzing when she entered. She did say "running errands", but she just came to the cafe nearby which was a lounge area to chill with puppies instead. Somehow, without the media recognizing her, the annoying sound of camera shuttering following her trails.
Somehow she had evaded it all.
She ditched her hat for a moment and roamed around in her comfortable green sweater and red trousers, it was perfect even for the sunny weather.
She picked up the tiny creature huddled in the corner. She held it closer to her chest and softened at its sight. The feeling in her heart was almost soft and light, like the weight on her shoulders easing off.
A random stranger. Not actress Chuuya Nakahara. Not the biggest actress to have graced the silver screen.
Just Chuuya.
An unimaginable feeling of warmth spread against her. Maybe this was what they called serotonin boost, cause she was feeling more emotionally light, the heaviness fading away. She was paying the receipt off and bumped into someone.
"Watch where you're-", Chuuya gritted her teeth for a moment when she noticed the unkempt brown curls and the unbelievably long trench coat.
But she noticed a slight difference today, she was wearing circular-framed glasses that fit her face.
Nerd indeed.
"You..."
"What are you doing here?"
"I could ask the same for you, ms hotshot"
Chuuya groaned, annoyed, " I sure don't look like one right now,"
"I can see the actress flair right up the alley, its the way you walk, as if you own the streets-"
That's when Chuuya's had enough and grabbed her wrists pulling her to a nearby table to talk.
Swear it was just to talk, the lady however just stumbled onto the couch.
"Hey!"
She took a while to gain her composure "You know I could walk if you could have nicely asked 'Lets have coffee, Dazai...I want to get to know you!"
Chuuya snorted, "Like that'd get you to talk with me, boosting your ego is not my job, and no I came here just as a day off...Things are weird back home", she said as she handed back her glasses.
The last line came out more naturally than she expected.
Ugh.
Its annoying, how bits and pieces of her soul unraveled when she was next to the woman.
Thats when she noticed, the woman adjusted her glasses and was staring at her.
Staring. At. Her.
She is used to the attention, but this was different coming from a stranger that she barely knew. Yet, she didn't feel creeped out or unsettled like she usually did.
It almost felt like she was admiring her.
Even when her hair was slightly disheveled tied up in a loose bun, when she wasn't Ms. Nakahara Chuuya of the silver screen industry.
But why?
"Stop that", Chuuya snapped at her, a little annoyed at the variety of emotions that were erupting through her.
"Stop what?"
"Look in the mirror, dumbass, you're staring"
"Oh...Was I? Didn't notice", she said biting her pen, while she wrote something in her diary.
Chuuya sighed and looked away "So what brings you here?"
"I was gonna call you up in the night anyway since it gets lonely and cold-"
"Get to the point", she grits her teeth, she thought her sister's overbearingness was worse to handle, but here she was proven wrong.
"Do you really wanna know or are you just for the sake of making a conversation?"
"Take your pick", Chuuya blew on her coffee mug and raised an eyebrow at her.
"Oh.....Welll....Um..."
Chuuya put a hand on her cheek observing her, it was honestly funny when her demeanor changed from flirty and over-enthusiastic energy to shy and nervous one, and she never understood why.
"Its..Oh i came here to write poetry", she held up a hand in defense showing the pen, carelessly the ink dropped on the table.
"Oops"
She tried cleaning it up, but Chuuya held her arm in a firm movement.
Where did that even come from?
She was careful not to press it too heavily, aware of the wrapped bandages all over, "What are you so nervous about?"
"Uh.....Well, I'm a bit clumsy.."
"Aren't also most people?"
Dazai sighed, "You...shouldn't be talking. "
Chuuya frowned, "You think I don't get clumsy huh?"
"You do, you just hide it better than most people...You're just so comfortable in your own skin. Anyone could tell that"
"We aren't talking about being clumsy anymore are we?"
"Hmm, your sense of perception is quite high I'd say-"
Chuuya placed a hand in front of Dazai's face, "Do you always go around psychoanalysing every single random stranger you see"
"No but are you like a stranger to me? That's a question for the ages"
Chuuya sighed and leaned her head back at the sofa groaning, "We've known each other for barely a day, so yeah that makes you a stranger, obviously."
Dazai waited for Chuuya to continue as they both looked into each eyes for what seemed like an eternity, like they could see each other's reflection of the stars that constituted their existence.
"Okay we should probably-" Dazai began.
"Quit that, snap out of it-", Chuuya concluded.
They looked at each other for a long moment seemingly annoyed at each other. Perhaps it was the frustration or rather an annoyance of having started or completed the other's sentence, it was a strange feeling of having known someone even without the exchange of words, it was an emotion that Chuuya wished she could comprehend.
She couldn't. The odd sense of familiarity was overwhelming, and she hated it when she couldn't understand things.
"Chuuya..Huh?", Dazai looked at her in question.
"Yeah..Dazai..?", Chuuya brushed a strand of her hair and sipped her coffee.
"Do you have somewhere to be tonight?"
She wasn't subtle at all, Chuuya thought and smirked.
"And why exactly does that matter?"
Dazai yawned at her response, "Now you're just being preposterous, you know what im actually asking of you..." A flash of recognition flit through her eyes.
"You're doing this on purpose"
"You catch on quick", returned Chuuya, similar to what Dazai had said the day before.
The faint hue of pink reached her cheeks which she noticed.
"Didn't know you could get flustered"
"I'm not...Its pretty hot here don't you think?"
"You aren't sneaky, it's not That hot, you're the one wearing a coat in the weather, we both know the reason".
Dazai groaned and sprawled on the sofa dramatically, her brown curls spread like the roots of a tree, something so natural about it, she wanted to run her hand through it, hold it for a while, maybe.
Huh?
She shook her head, as if that ward off the thought she had at the moment but Dazai sat up.
"I'm serious, we have the entire evening off, I'm assuming so...since you said you have a free day"
"Ok Dazai..Let me get this straight..Why do you want to spend the day with me?"
Dazai brushed off her unruly hair and took off her coat."You are right, bringing a coat here was not the wisest..Phew"
"Do you always evade questions like this..?", Chuuya sighed, propping her leg on the other, as she finished her coffee.
"I wanna know...", Dazai inched closer and pushed the curls of her hair away, the contact almost familiar. Chuuya just watched as their eyes met again.
"About..?", this was weird, ok not weird, but odd, she wanted to snap her fingers for doing that, honestly what stopped her?
"You", Dazai simply finished.
"Me?", Chuuya blinked in surprise, just as she was starting to get annoyed even being in the vicinity of her, she did not see that coming.
"Yeah, until each one of them is imprinted into this note."
"Any reason, why? Or is it because i'm an actress?", Chuuya raised an eyebrow.
"I want to relearn how to trust, and you seem to do that as well"
"How did you...? huh?"
"I was observing you while you came in, I mean your shoulders were stiff and once you were near those puppies, mind you scary creatures, you softened, and you shoulders grew stiff again when you saw me".
Chuuya sighed, "Why would you notice that...? I thought hiding from people is an art I have come to master"
"Maybe to others...Not to me, your layers come peeling off, when you realise no one's watching you"
"Like a stranger", Chuuya concluded.
"See, you do catch on quick!", Dazai giggled, reverting back to her previous demeanor.
"Dumbass, can't believe you stole my line", she shoved her shoulder.
"Ow. Chuuya should know that it'd hurt", Dazai pouted, almost dramatically
"Like I care. I have a deal to propose"
"My oh my, what shall that be, I wonder..?", Dazai looked at her, inching closer.
Chuuya wasn't sure if she wanted to cling to her side or if she was genuinely curious
She clearly had a problem with what they say "personal space".
"I stay at your place"
Dazai's breath hitched and Chuuya could tell, from how the expression changed in an instant, her mouth forming an "Oh".
"Yeah I stay at your place for the night and you said you wanted to write, I'll give you company. I have some lines to practice, shouldn't be a big deal right?" Chuuya jabbed a fist at her shoulder lightly, "We are strangers after all,"
"I'll help you too", returned her voice.
She couldn't help but raise her eyebrows in surprise when Dazai lifted a pinky finger and looked at Chuuya, her expression that of a stupid teenager who just won her first lottery.
She linked her finger with hers, unabashedly as it was the most normal thing to do and saw her whole frame lit up, more subtle this time around.
She felt free when she placed the trust in someone she didn't know, fleeting. They looked at each other for a moment or so, the breeze blew into their faces, a warm fragrance of belongingness, their unkempt hairs tangling, fingers entertwined.
"Lets go" Dazai whispered as she led her the way.