Chapter Text
“Just this please”
Charlie makes eye contact with the boy and he feels his heart begin to race. He has no idea why he makes him so nervous but he can hardly stand to be near him. His stomach is doing flips and his palms are sweaty. Trying to keep his cool, Charlie gives him the same friendly smile and nod that he’s given every other customer that he’s come in contact with today, which he finds extremely difficult to do because none of the other customers have made him feel the way this stranger makes him feel.
After taking a breath in an attempt to calm himself even a little bit, Charlie takes the book that was placed on the counter and with shaky hands scans the barcode.
“That’ll be £9.54, please” Charlie somehow finds the strength to utter before sliding the book back across the counter.
The boy nods and hands Charlie the money before giving him a friendly smile and walking out the door. Charlie lets out a long sigh and covers his face with his hands.
“Idiot.” He mutters to himself.
That was one of the most beautiful men he had ever seen and he let him walk away without saying a single word to him. He couldn’t help but beat himself up for it. However, in his mind he let the boy go for good reason. He didn’t even know if he was into guys and even if he was he would never even consider liking Charlie. So he would much rather let him go than face the humility of being rejected by him. Besides, he probably would never see him again anyway.
“That was brutal” Isaac says walking up behind Charlie, “Why didn’t you at least introduce yourself?”
Charlie removes his hands from his face and turns around to answer his friend’s question.
“I literally have no idea, I just got scared. Besides, did he look gay to you?” Charlie asks sarcastically.
Isaac chuckles, “Yeah actually he did. He has to be at least bisexual.”
“Isaac you’re mad if you genuinely think that.” He answers. “Also who knows if I’ll ever see him again. He may have just been stopping by because he was walking past and thought he’d look around. He may not even live in this area.”
“Actually Charlie, according to Darcy he’s a regular. They don’t know him well but they’ve had enough conversations for them to know he lives a few blocks down the road. He stops by pretty often.” Isaac answers patting Charlie on the back. “You’re gonna have to talk to him eventually.”
Charlie’s eyes widen as he begins to panic. Getting the courage to even apply and start this job was enough stress, and now he has to deal with the anxieties of possibly seeing the mystery guy regularly.
“So you and Darcy both just watched that entire interaction?” Charlie asks
“Umm yeah pretty much. I can’t believe this is our first day and you already have a crush” Isaac replies jokingly.
Charlie blushes, “It’s not a crush I don’t even know him!”
“Right.” Isaac lets out a laugh and walks back to the shelf he was stocking prior to their banter.
Once both boys were finished with their shifts they said their goodbyes to Darcy and Aled before making their way back to the bus stop. Just like the ride to work, they sat on the bus in complete silence. Isaac had purchased a book before leaving the store today and was completely consumed by it minutes after walking out the door. Charlie chuckled at his friend because he knew he was going to spend all the money he’ll soon earn from the bookstore just to buy books from said bookstore.
While looking out the window and watching all of the people, buildings, and trees fly by Charlie began to replay every minute from his first shift at his new job in his head. He noticed that his anxiety was low for the most part and everything seemed to go fairly well. Which was rare. He hadn’t messed anything up and Darcy seemed pretty pleased with how fast he had learned to do everything. He smiled to himself, this was definitely going to be a good thing.
However, his mind kept going back to the moment he checked out the freckled faced customer. Even though he was trying his best not to think about him, he kept picturing the bookstore boy in his mind. He wasn’t sure what it was about him that made him so nervous. He was obviously very attractive and pretty people made Charlie a nervous wreck anyway but there was something about this one that was different than the others. He can usually at least hold a conversation with someone he finds attractive but he could barely breathe near this boy. It scared Charlie, he didn’t want to mess this job up. He was just going to have to get used to seeing him no matter the effects he had on him. He can’t let a tiny crush ruin this huge step in his healing journey. I mean he was literally just a guy he had a five minute interaction with one time and Charlie was overreacting, that’s all.
The boys made it back to Charlie’s flat where once again Tao and Elle were waiting for them in Charlie’s room alongside Tori who was just as excited to hear about her brother and Isaac’s first day. As they all piled onto the bed they both of course told their stories of their first day to their friends as they shared all of their favorite snacks between the five of them.
“So yeah, that’s how my day went. Nothing too crazy.” Charlie said, finishing his debrief and shoving a cracker in his mouth knowing he purposely left out the most interesting part of his day.
He had convinced himself that the encounter was absolutely not a big deal and he knew his friends would assume it was. So he made the agreement with himself to not even bring it up.
“You’re seriously not going to tell them?” Isaac asked, raising his eyebrows at Charlie.
Charlie sighed, he was hoping that Isaac would’ve caught onto his unspoken agreement and wouldn’t bring it up to his friends. He should’ve known better. His friend was quite the romantic and took any minor interaction as a meet cute.
He shook his head, “There’s nothing to tell.”
“Wait what’s he talking about?” Elle asked urgently
“What’re you keeping from us, Spring?” Tao added
“Spill, Charlie.” Tori says before playfully smacking Charlie on the arm
“I just had a really awkward interaction with a very attractive man today. Seriously guys it was nothing.” Charlie answered, rubbing the sting away from his arm.
“It didn’t look like nothing” Isaac teased, “You guys should’ve seen him. He was blushing like crazy. He could barely get any words out. Charlie totally has a crush on this guy.”
“Okay that’s a bit dramatic” Charlie chimes in, “I’ve met him one time. We didn’t even have a conversation. I don’t even know his name. It’s not a crush.”
“Awww Charlie!!!” Elle exclaims
“Yeah and apparently the guy is a regular, so he will be seeing him again.” Isaac adds, wiggling his eyebrows at Charlie.
“It’s not a crush yet but it will be, please be careful Charlie. Don’t give anyone else the power to hurt you like Ben did.” Tao warns him.
Charlie flinches at his ex's name.
“It’s not going to turn into anything at all. I’m not going to let it. I can’t break focus on this job right now especially not for some unrealistic crush on a guy I don’t even know. I just think he’s attractive, that’s all.” Charlie assures his friends and himself.
Isaac frowns, “Dang it, I was hoping for an epic romance between the two of you.”
“Sorry to disappoint. We already have an epic romance in the friend group. We don't need two.” Charlie replies, motioning towards Tao and Elle on the bed cuddling.
“This is true. But you deserve an epic romance too, Charlie.” Isaac says, smiling at his friend.
“Seriously Isaac you’re reading way too much into this. It’s nothing.” Charlie says, ending the conversation.
“Okay.” Isaac replies, picking up on the vibes from Charlie. It was clear he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.
“I think it’s bedtime guys.” Tori says standing up from the bed and walking out of the room and into her own.
Elle laughs at Tori’s sudden exit, “Goodnight Tori!”
“I’m getting pretty tired myself, you ready to go home Elle?” Tao asks his girlfriend, she nods in response.
Everyone agrees that it’s time to end their conversations and return home for bed. They all say their goodbyes and exchange hugs before Charlie returns back to his bedroom and prepares himself to sleep. Crawling into bed he’s still having thoughts about the boy. Ever since him and the boy made eye contact he had a feeling in his chest he just couldn’t shake. He felt silly, he had only said four words to the guy yet the thought of him had been lingering for hours.
Charlie hoped more than anything the boy would stay clear of the shop tomorrow during his shift, but part of him was hoping for the opposite. A little piece of him wanted a chance to have a real conversation with him. However, he knew it was unlikely for him to show up again considering he had bought a book today. He probably won't be back until he finishes the one he bought. He began to realize that he was thinking entirely too hard about bookstore boy right now. He needed to not think of him at all. He just couldn’t help it, maybe he did have a crush.
The possibility of him being attracted to anyone at all made Charlie sick to his stomach. He couldn’t afford to fall in love again. It completely destroyed him last time. He needed to ignore and bury these feelings, they would do nothing but hurt him in the end.
“It can’t be a crush, I don’t even know his name.” he argues with himself out loud.
Trying to shake any thought of the boy out of his mind, Charlie turns on his side and faces the wall before pulling out his phone. He aimlessly scrolls through Instagram, then Twitter, and TikTok for what feels like forever just trying to find something to distract him. Once he realizes he’s failing at the task, he locks his phone and closes his eyes. He tosses and turns for a while but eventually dozes off for the night.
Charlie wakes up to the sun beaming through his window and the sound of pans banging in the kitchen. He rubs the sleep from his eyes and checks his phone and catches up on the group messages he missed while he was asleep.
Charlie smiles at all of the good morning messages from his friends. Tao and Elle wished both boys a good second day of work and it made Charlie feel so full. They were so happy for the both of them and it made him feel so proud of himself. He could never thank the universe enough for them. He couldn’t picture a better way to wake up.
After replying to messages and catching up on his social media, Charlie finally stumbles out of bed and makes his way downstairs to the kitchen where he finds his sister preparing them both breakfast. This isn’t a rare site for him. Tori is usually in the kitchen preparing some new recipe she found on pinterest.
After eating with Tori, he makes his way back to his room to prepare himself for work. He brushed his teeth and did his skin care before making his way to the closet to pick out an outfit. He finds himself hating every outfit he tries on, what if the ginger boy does come back today? None of them were good enough.
He was ashamed of himself for having that thought, for letting the boy dictate what he would wear to work. He shook the thought from his mind and decided on a simple shirt and jeans and he’d bring a flannel just in case it was chilly in the store.
“It doesn't matter what the boy will see you in, Charlie. It’s not a crush, you don’t know him.” Charlie has to remind himself looking in the mirror before grabbing his phone and making his way back downstairs.
“Bye Tori, thanks for breakfast” he says quickly before rushing out the door before she can say her goodbye as well.
Walking up to the bus stop he gives his friend Isaac a smile, “good morning, you ready for day two?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be! Are you?” he replies
“Of course.” Charlie replies trying his best to hide his nerves
The bus pulls up and both boys make their way to an empty seat once again. Moments of silence go by before Isaac looks up from his book and turns to Charlie.
“Hey Charlie, I’m sorry if I upset you yesterday.” he says softly
Charlie gives his friend a smile, “you didn’t” he assures him.
“Good, because I genuinely do want what’s best for you and if you think not pursuing anything romantically right now is what’s best for you then I support you. I just want you to be happy. We all do.” Isaac continues
“No, I know! And I appreciate that. Would having a partner be nice? Of course! I just can’t picture myself with anybody right now. After what happened with Ben.” Charlie replies, staring at his hands in his lap.
“Which is fair, but Charlie, not everyone is going to treat you like dirt. You at least need to give yourself a chance to be happy.” Isaac says, placing his hand on top of Charlie’s.
Charlie’s eyes begin to swell with tears, “yeah I know. I just can’t afford to go through that again. It’s too risky.”
“I get that. Just whenever you are ready, just know we support you no matter what.” Isaac says wiping a tear off of Charlie’s cheek
“Thank you.” Charlie says looking up at his friend with a genuine smile.
“Of course, Charlie” Isaac replies
The bus finally comes to a stop shortly after their conversation and they both make their way into the store saying their hello’s to Darcy and Aled. Charlie is once again at the checkout counter surprisingly without any worries. He’s sure the boy won’t show up so soon, I mean he was literally there yesterday. He couldn’t possibly finish a book that fast.
As Charlie’s shift went on he realized his hypothesis about the boy was correct. It was five minutes till closing and he still hadn’t shown up. He was relieved but also slightly disappointed.
The boys shift finally came to an end and as always they walked to the bus stop together and met up with the other two at Charlie’s flat, and once again talked about their day at the bookstore. However, this time it was strictly just talk about stocking shelves and new books that had arrived. No one asked about the bookstore boy and Charlie had nothing new to tell. Perhaps that was the only interaction he would have with the ginger boy. Charlie wanted that thought to be a relieving one but to his surprise it wasn’t. He didn’t want to admit it to himself but he did want to see him again. He wanted to know him, but he knew he couldn’t allow himself to. So he would force himself to forget the boy or at least not allow him to consume every thought he had.
It wasn’t a crush and he wasn’t going to let it turn into one either.