Chapter Text
"You did this!"
Charles' smile lingered in his confusion, as he looked between Nell and the photos.
"Yes. Yes I did. With my lovely camera."
"You set me up!"
"It's called a favour? I'm taking your shift today, yes?" he explained, slowly.
"She kissed me!"
Charles' jaw fell open.
"She did what!?" he exclaimed gleefully.
"Do not be smiling about this, you scheming fuck. You know what you did," Nell hissed, jabbing a finger in his giddy face.
"She kissed you? On the mouth!?"
"You have no idea how embarrassing it is to fall for someone else's plan. You could have at least let me in on it. Stupid plan. I could have made a better plan."
"Nelly, I see the heart-eyes you make at each other, and -"
"I don't make heart-eyes," Nell frowned.
"- and, you'd have never made any pass at that terrifying, terrifying woman, if you knew you were being set up. It ruins it."
Nell scoffed at him and threw her hands up, but he continued.
"Besides, I didn't think she would kiss you," he chuckled. "I was thinking, more, get the two of you talking, get past that utterly charming passive-aggressive stage. You might have actually become friends, you know, before..."
"See, I'm going to let it go, because I have more important things to think about, but I'm never doing anything nice for you, ever again."
Charles just smirked.
"You're pleased about this, really, aren't you? You know what - you're welcome."
Tastefully, Nell imitated him in a high-pitch voice, before carrying on.
"Sofia figured it out before me, mind, so you've got something else coming. Good luck, soldier."
"I'm not in real trouble, now, am I?"
Nell gave him a pleased little look that implied that yes, he was. She laughed vengefully at his tortured sigh.
"At least you forgive me," he lamented.
"I'm also going to log into your fucking Grindr and start messaging all the married guys with bad facial hair."
This merited, from Charles, a dejected little noise and a face like she had just eaten a slug in front of him.
"I appreciate your revenge plan, I do, but in this scenario, you're actually implicitly comparing Sofia to a married man with bad facial hair," he replied quietly. "It would be far more appropriate to set me up with a beautiful, mysterious, ocean-eyed photographer, but those are hard to come by on that app, so I suppose you're just being resourceful."
"What's Grindr?" said George.
Nell visibly cursed God and Charles nearly leapt out of his skin as her little sister appeared behind him.
"Can we go now, Nell? Been waiting ages." she asked impatiently.
"By Christ, you're spooky, aren't you? Spooky little girl," Charlie exclaimed, still in shock. "You're like those twins in The Shining. But ginger. And just one of you."
Charles had not seen many horror movies. Charles was a little scared of horror movies. Charles did not understand the reference when Nell brought up her The Ring observation in relation to Sofia. He did not like the picture she showed him as explanation.
"Yeah, alright, let's make tracks."