Chapter Text
They didn't really plan to keep things a secret, so why need to? The whole school day they spent together, they both made it a point they were more than friends. Ivan moreso than Till. They kept holding hands, whispering in the same way Till would glimpse Mizi and Sua and Till was sure he'd never felt more carefree than then.
He was sure he hadn't smiled so much and he almost thought his mouth would fall off from how it ached from the uncontrollable wide curl of his lips and with each glance he gave to Ivan.
Having a boyfriend was nice.
His heart would race and his eyes would shine and he knew he was supposed to be with Ivan, holding his hands or in his arms or touching his lips and it was all so amazing.
Their dates from then on felt different, so bright and so warm and Till's heart would flutter each time. He didn't want this time to end, and neither did Ivan. Till wondered what good he had to have done in his past life to have such an amazing lover – one who always made him smile and one who always got him what he needed and always loved him so deeply it was close to overwhelming.
Till knew then, he wanted to marry Ivan. He wanted to wake up beside Ivan and sleep beside him and do everything with him from working to studying to even just sitting there blankly – because everything felt eventful with him.
He knew deep down he could never love Ivan as much as Ivan loved him but he knew he could try, he knew he could do his best to make the other smile and flush and chuckle and cry tears of joy because Till knew only he was able to make Ivan feel so many colours of emotions and feelings.
Even if the world turned against them, Till and Ivan would be bound together whether they liked it or not and they would stay together to the end.
And sometimes Till felt scared, what if Ivan wasn't fulfilled with the love he gave and what if Ivan left like everyone else? What if he died?
And all Ivan would have to do was smile, and whisper words of truth to Till before he was calm again, realising all his thoughts were just stupid and he didn't need to worry about Ivan dying or leaving or being hurt. He was just paranoid, as if Ivan had left him in some distant life they had forgotten.
So there they sat, on the beach, legs outstretched towards the sea as soft waves lapped up against the sand and the sun was beginning to set and the sand beginning to cool. Till turned to Ivan, face blank with too much emotion and lips pressed together before they parted.
"I love you." He said, tone so flat you could mistake it for a lie but Ivan knew – it was truth and he just couldn't properly show all he felt. It happened to him all the time.
"I love you too."
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Mizi and Sua lay together on the same bed, in Mizi's bright pink room whi just was all too colourful for Sua's tasted but she tolerated it- just for Mizi.
The pink-haired girl was pouting, brows furrowed as Sua raised her hand and poked the space in between them, causing the other to unfurl them habitually.
"Can't believe Till forgot to tell us he was dating Ivan.." Mizi mumbled, in a not-so-angry tone as she took a long sigh, leaning against the headboard as her eyes drifted to the light and stared, stared for so long the light imprinted in her vision and blanked it out temporarily. "But.. I'm glad he's happy. He's been through a lot."
Sua nodded her head, laying against Mizi's shoulder with a slight smile and feeling Mizi tense up, before relaxing again moments later. She always got shy when it came to contact.
"You've been through a lot too, y'know.. You worry too much about others." Sua murmured, yawning slightly in-between as her eyes began to shut despite the light in the room. "You should think about yourself more often..." Her voice trailed off, eyes almost completely shut in the comfort she felt with Mizi that couldn't be replicated anywhere else – not even with her parents.
"Then, I'm thinking of cutting my hair." Mizi responded calmly, just as Sua's eyes began to shut and her replies delirious.
"Really? How short?" Sua asked, yawning more frequently as she struggled to keep her eyes open and actually focus on the topic.
"Maybe like a pixie cut. My hair's been getting too long and I think it's time to part from the past." Mizi answered, eyes almost shut yet she was completely awake and Sua was too tired to react, only responding mechanically.
"That sounds great." She felt herself falling off Mizi's shoulder, before a hand steadied her more firmly, and an arm wrapped around her waist gently, almost tentative yet confident.
"Sua?"
"Hm?" Sua felt her eyes shut, gaze blanking into a warm darkness – or nothingness – as she began to fall asleep.
"I love you." Mizi said, her tone was so clearly filled with emotion and if Sua struggled to look up, she would've caught Mizi's smile looking more depressed, sad as if she knew something that meant much more than love.
"I love you.. too..." Sua said, before falling asleep.