Chapter Text
Maybe, Michael thought, this would have gone differently if I’d been the one to tell him first.
Maybe if I’d just come clean after Reg got shot or just bothered to use a damn secured line in the first place or waited until I admitted the truth to call Alice.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. There was no way to know if something he’d done would have made this work out the way he’d wanted. All he knew what that this definitely wasn’t what he’d planned.
It’s not that Michael was in anyway averse to a little bondage with the right partner, but generally he preferred the kind where he wasn’t strapped to a metal table with a laser pointed at his chest and an upset lover (ex-lover?) holding the activation button.
From the moment he got to the base, right on time to meet Reginald, nothing at all had gone right.
Normally when he showed up the soldiers, who after 6 months had finally warmed up to him, didn’t say a word to him. He had expected at least a little joking about the ridiculous fact that he was wearing a tuxedo in the middle of the day, but nothing came.
Foolishly he ignored that, too caught up in his desperate nervousness over coming clean to Reginald. He moved so quickly down the hallways of the base that he barely had time to see the people he passed by and certainly didn’t notice the hard looks on their faces or the lack of interaction with him.
He swept into Reg’s office and came to stand in front of the desk. Reg was faced the opposite direction, staring into space, apparently unaware that Michael had even entered the room.
“Reg, love, I need to talk to you about something…it’s serious and you may not like it, but I want you to promise to hear me out.”
Reg spun the office chair around slowly. Some part of Michael’s brain inappropriately piped in that the turn was one fluffy white cat away from making Reg look like a proper villain, but he smashed that thought quickly. On any other day he might have shared that thought with Reg, but not today.
Michael walked around the desk to stand in front of Reginald, then kneeled down in front of him, just like the day that Reginald had first kissed him.
“Reg?” He had yet to respond to Michael’s statement and there was this look in his eyes. Distressed, hopeless. “Are you all right? Did something happen to your kids? Is MI6 about to come bursting in an arrest us all?”
That got a reaction.
“I don’t know Michael. Are they?” He flung an audio recorder at him. Confused, Michael pressed the button and gasped as he heard his own voice making that damned call to Alice.
“I can explain, this is what I came to talk to you about today. Reg, I know I lied to you, but I want to stop lying. I came here today to tell you that I l…”
“Don’t!” Reginald interrupted him violently, pushing him away. “Don’t you dare finish that though Michael. God, I don’t even know if that’s your real name.”
“It is, I swear. I never lied about that. I only lied about my background, I’m not an arms dealer, I…”
“Well obviously.” Reginald cut him off again. “I can’t believe that I believed in you…in this…for even a second.”
“Don’t say that, I never lied about us.” Michael protested, trying to get Reginald to believe him. Soldiers came pouring into the office, grabbing him and holding him down. One of the base doctors approached him with a syringe and moments later he was unconscious.
___
Waking up, strapped to a metal table was not on Michael’s top 5 list of ways to wake up. He would know, this wasn’t the first time it had happened after all. But there was something much worse about waking up, strapped to a metal table, knowing someone you cared about had put you there and was probably planning to kill you.
Of course the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the most menacing laser he’d ever seen (and he’d seen a few, lasers seemed to be popular among the criminal mastermind/villain ranks) positioned directly over him.
He could see the ranks of soldiers standing around the room and then the sound of footsteps on the stairs coming into the room.
Reginald walked to the wall of controls for the laser, not even glancing at him as he passed. He tried to cry out, but couldn’t get a single word out around the lump in his throat. Finally Reginald spoke, turning around to look at him.
“I knew that whatever this thing between us was, it had to be too good to be true, but I foolishly thought it would be you cheating on me that would ruin it…not finding out you were here to destroy me. I’m sure you’re glad to know you had me fooled so well.”
Michael tried to speak again and finally realized that it wasn’t just the lump in his throat stopping the words. He couldn’t speak at all.
“Ah, just noticing your little speech problem? I had Dr. Rama administer a paralytic before you woke up, I really don’t want to hear your excuses or whatever lies you might come up with to persuade me to let you live and I really don’t want to deal with escape attempts.”
Michael shook his head wildly trying to convey some message, he wasn’t even sure what, to his former lover, but Reginald had already walked away. When he came back it was with a remote to active the laser. He held it in his hand, looking at it intensely. He came so close to pressing the button, when the alarm for “quitting time” rang. Michael hoped that his execution was not so important that Reg would swing for overtime. Maybe during the night he could find some way to free himself…
And then do what?
Go back to the life he was trying to leave?
Dying didn’t hold much allure, but neither did returning to the empty life he’d had before.
He watched as Reginald sighed, a resigned look on his face, and put the remote down. He walked from the room and Michael could barely hear his voice asking for the night shift to put on extra patrols to ensure no rescue attempts would happen overnight.
Michael almost felt sorry for them. All that extra work for nothing. No one was going to be mounting a rescue attempt for an ex-spy. Hell, with all the secrets he knew, his bosses were probably hoping he would die and save them all a lot of trouble.
____
Home.
Funny word.
It has so many meanings. One is the place you live, the other is the place your heart is. If you are really very lucky those places might be the same, but Reginald had never been very lucky.
When he left ‘home’ this morning it was with a spring in his step that was only slightly numbed by the fact that he knew that evening would be full of a tough conversation with Margaret when he brought home the divorce papers. Still, he had been hopeful that sooner rather than later, he would be able to have both parts of his home together. His children and Michael, all in one place.
But this afternoon that hope had all come crashing to the ground.
Margaret could tell something was wrong, but she never asked. She didn’t really want to know. He ate dinner, but couldn’t tell you what it was. He read Susan and Jonathan a story, but couldn’t tell you the title, and then followed Margaret to bed.
For just a second it looked like she was going to ask him a question about what was bothering him, but then the moment passed. She turned out the light on her side of the bed and lay down with her back to him, just like every night for years. But Reginald hardly noticed, he was so wrapped up in the mess that waited for him back at the lab.
He thought about Michael, trapped where he was, paralyzed and unable to escape. He thought about all the good times they’d had. He remembered the horror on Michael’s face when he’d been shot. The wound had only finished healing the last time he and Michael had been face to face before this whole thing had blown up. Michael had asked to see and when the healed skin was visible he had touched it so gently and then kissed it.
Fury filled Reginald’s mind. How could Michael have faked all of that emotion? And why would he do it? He had to know, there was no use waiting until morning. He would never be able to sleep.
___
“What did you have to gain from this charade, Michael, tell me.” That was what woke Michael up. He had been dozing off briefly for the last few hours and testing to see if he could move every time he woke up, with only minimal improvement.
Reg was standing over him, seeming to expect an answer. That was when he felt the pressure of another needle and realized that someone outside his field of vision was injecting him with something and he could finally move again.
“It..it wasn’t a charade Reg, none of it.”
“None?”
“All right, some of it was, but none of the important parts.” It was hard to talk, his mouth was so dry and the lingering effects of the paralytic made his tongue feel heavy and hard to move, but he was pushing through.
“What did you tell your superiors about my organization?”
“Nothing, not a word.”
“I don’t believe you, are you trying to tell me that they left you here for six months on a mission that was going nowhere?”
“Honestly I don’t think they wanted me to come back. It was meant to be a one way mission. You’ve killed every other agent they sent.” Michael couldn’t help the slightly accusatory tone.
“Why wouldn’t I? I am a villain after all.”
“We both know that’s not true Reg.”
“Stop calling me that. You don’t have the right anymore.” Reginald looked furious. He snatched up the remote from the nearby table again and the laser crackled to life again, but he was still struggling with the decision. He walked away, unable to look Michael in the face when he pressed the button.
“Okay, it’s okay Reg. You can let me live or kill me, I won’t blame you if you do decide to press that button. I betrayed you and lied to you from the very start and I didn’t know how to stop.” Michael was speaking calmly, though inside he was anything but calm. “I just need you to know one thing first, before you do anything else.”
“What?” Reginald’s voice was quiet and cracking around the lump in his throat, finger still poised over the two buttons on the remote. He could release him or kill him so easily.
“That phone call you heard, you only heard the very first part. You don’t know why I was calling…I called to tell them I was resigning. I didn’t want to finish this mission or any mission for them ever again. I…couldn’t bare to keep lying to you. I came here to tell you the truth today…I was just too late to be the first to tell you and now I’ve lost your trust completely. So…go ahead and do whatever it is you want to do Reg.”
A moment passed and then, suddenly, the restraints on the bed released. Michael jumped up and tried to back away as the soldiers closest to him pulled their weapons.
“Stand down” Reginald’s voice spoke clearly. Michael saw him, facing away from him, shoulder’s hunched. “Michael…just go. Please, just go.”
And Michael started to do just that, but as he reached the edge of the room he stopped and slammed his hand into the concrete. If he left now he would live, but this would all be over. There was no way that he could ever come back if he walked out now, Reg would never trust him again.
So, instead of running to safety, Michael turned around.
“No.”
Reginald’s body jerked up at that word and began to turn around.
“No, I’m not leaving. I refuse.” Michael walked back into the room, opening himself up the line of fire so he could get his point across. “I know I was wrong, I know I screwed this all to hell, but I love you and I’m not leaving. You’ll have to kill me first.”
By the time that speech was completed Reginald had turned to face Michael and a smile stretched over his face.
“So you’d rather die than leave me?”
“I think coming back in here with a bunch of soldiers pointing guns at me and you with the controls of a death ray locked on to me pretty much proves that, yes.”
“You really quit?”
“Yes, it wasn’t worth it anymore…it was just a job, you are so much more.” Michael stood completely still, waiting for Reginald to come to a decision. Finally Reginald strode across the room and Michael rushed to meet him, relieved that he hadn’t completely failed. He’d jumped and Reginald had opened the parachute after all, despite the extended and terrifying moment of freefall.
Reginald grabbed Michael’s hands and stared into his eyes and, just like the day they first kissed, they were once again in perfect sync, dancing the same steps to the same song.
“David,” Reg called out, still holding onto Michael’s hands tightly.
“Yes, Boss?”
“Send everyone home. Agent White and I have some business to discuss.”
“That’s ‘former Agent White’ if you don’t mind, Reg.” Michael smiled.
“Are you sure about that Boss?”
“Absolutely, get out of here. We’ll be in my office.” Reg gripped one of Michael’s hands tighter and dragged him away down the hall.
The Pin
I would give what's left of me away
Twist and turn just to hear you say
That you still think I'm beautiful
I'm worth a chance
Even still today
The battle plan has left me weak and worn
Into directions I feel like I've been torn
We used to live without the shame
We used to love without the blame
We're going up and down
Hold on
We're crashing to the ground
And anytime you kneel
I'll open up again
You reach inside of me
And then you pull the pin
And then you pull the pin
Oh, you pull the pin
And then you pull the pin
We're doing penance for all our petty crimes
On our knees, oh we're just killing time
First we bend and then we break
And I don't wanna be too late to change
Oh, I saw your light when I looked into the mirror
And then the past began to disappear
You know my lies were full of fear
And can you still forgive me, dear
We're going up and down
Hold on
We're crashing to the ground
And any time you kneel
I open up again
You reach inside of me
And then you pull the pin
And then you pull the pin
Oh, you pull the pin
And then you pull the pin
Your words can lift me up or crush me to dust again
Can't tell if we are flying or falling to the end
Your words can lift me up or crush me to dust again
Can't tell if we are flying or falling to the end
We're going up and down
Hold on
We're crashing to the ground
And any time you kneel
I open up again
You reach inside of me
And then you pull the pin
And then you pull the pin
Oh, and you pull the pin
And then you pull the pin