Chapter Text
“What do we do?” Crowley asked, he rested his hand on his chin, thinking. He took a sip of his coffee, then just drank all of the rest. John reached for his cup but remembered that he had finished it a little while ago. The two were now in the main room of the book shop and they were sitting across from each other, John on a couch and Crowley sprawled over a chair. Not really sitting, more of laying, one of his legs was crossed over the other and he let his head fall back. It reminded John of how Sherlock could squeeze himself into the Chair across from his own.
“I don’t-- Oh! The blog!” John said, suddenly jumping up, “do you have a computer?”
“Uhm… I don’t think so.” Crowley responded, he stood up and John was reminded of his attractive, lithe figure. The man-shaped being motioned a hand to tell John to stand up, he did. Crowley led John out of the building and across the street to the coffee shop where he had probably gotten the coffee.
“Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death” John said, reading the name of the shop, he smiled up at it “Sherlock would like it.”
“It’s a great shop, I ask for anything and I get it. As long as it’s coffee… I guess” Crowley murmured then he looked back at John, and took his hand. Then paused for a second and let it go, John assumed that he held Aziraphale’s hand and forgot that he wasn’t, he frowned to himself and then said, “C’mon”
The coffee shop was nice, on one wall to the right was all blue with lots of words. John thought all of it was cool. At the moment it wasn’t very busy which John assumed wasn’t normal because Crowley looked surprised. “Hey, Aziraphale” a woman behind the counter said, she smiled at John. She was black and had a nice smile.
“He’s not Aziraphale,” Crowley said, the woman frowned. The lanky man gave her a small explanation of what he assumed was happening, she called another woman over.
“Hey Maggie,” Nina said, “Can these two borrow your laptop?”
“Why do you need it?” Maggie asked, then Crowley pulled her aside and told her what was going on, she nodded and took them into a record shop. She flipped the sign that said ‘open’ to the ‘closed’ side and got out her laptop. She signed in and John put in his blog’s name. When he did so Maggie said, “Wait, you write this blog? I love it!”
“You read the blog?!” John said as he signed into his account on the page and wrote a quick message, it said, ‘meet at Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death.’ Sherlock would read it and immediately know what was going on, then he would go to the shop. It might also be a little bit of an ad for the quaint little shop. Now all they had to do was wait.
Crowley and the Aziraphale shaped man thanked Maggie, and walked back over to the coffee shop. She told them to tell her wife that she was going to watch over her shop for a while. Make sure to not let customers wait. Crowley nodded, and John asked who her wife was. “Nina,” Crowley said. John nodded, he went and ordered another coffee, then realised he didn’t have any money to pay with. He apologised to Nina for ordering it in the first place, but Crowley came up behind her and gave her the money. John blushed at him and thanked him, to which Nina had an eyebrow raised.
They went over to an empty table and started chatting. “So, Crowley, what do you do for a living?” John asked.
“Well I’m retired, so is Aziraphale.” Crowley said, looking out the window, probably waiting for Sherlock and the John shaped being.
“Retired? But you’re probably younger than I am. And Aziraphale looks like he’s forty-five at most.” John said, confused as to why someone so young could already be retired.
“Oh I’m much older than you and Sherlock combined,” Crowley said, smirking and looking over his sunglasses, “I’m older than the Earth itself, I’m a demon.”
John gasped and shook his head, “No that can’t be true, demons aren’t real.”
“Tell that to the eyes,” Crowley chuckled, taking off his sunglasses and showing off his bright yellow eyes. He snapped and John’s mug miraculously refilled, he gasped again.
“Well then…” He shrugged and decided that it would be easier to just accept it rather than fight about it, “Is… is Aziraphale a demon too?”
“No, he’s an angel.” Crowley smiled to himself, probably at the thought of his angel, “What do you do for work?”
“Oh Sherlock’s a consulting detective,” John said, “and I was his roommate then we just took the cliche to heart and got married. I guess I’m his assistant, but he needs me. We have a daughter and I’m a doctor. I was in the army for a while but not anymore.”
“I assumed you were a doctor from your title… What's a consulting detective?” Crowley said, gulping down the rest of his coffee.
John smiled, he liked explaining what it was that his husband did “he’s a detective but people come to our flat and consult us directly, he’s the only one in the world”
“Oh, I like that, we could use your help” Crowley said, he looked out the window again, then he looked back at John and said, “Hey, can you try something for me?”
“What is it you want me to try?” John asked, running a hand through his soft new hair. Crowley snapped again and his coffee refilled. Nina was passing by as he did this.
“Hey, stop getting free coffee!” She said, then she held out a hand and Crowley snapped, there was now thirteen pounds in it.
“Happy?” He said, she smirked and nodded, then walked off. “Okay so, I want to see if you can do miracles, think about something, like draining your coffee cup.”
“Okay,” John said, he thought about it, Crowley told him to snap and he did so. When he did, the coffee in his cup slowly started to drain. His eyes widened. “How, why… what?”
“Hmm, so the miracle stays with the body this time.” Crowley said, mostly to himself, but he nodded and refilled John’s cup, John took a sip of it, then looked out the window. He caught sight of them and smiled, then he turned back to the demon.
“Crowley! It’s them, look!” he grabbed the demon’s arm, His eyes widened and he ran outside, John following close behind. When John saw himself he smiled, he was about to say hello, but he stopped himself when he was tackled by his husband. “Umpf, Sherlock! I’m glad to see you too.” He felt kisses all over his face. He wasn’t surprised that Sherlock showed emotion now it seemed normal to him but others often saw him as stoic and emotionless.
When Sherlock finally let him go he gave the man a small hug and stood up, he went over to Aziraphale and shook hands, “Hello, John.” The angel said.
“Nice to finally meet you, Aziraphale,” John replied.
And it was, now that they had found each other, all they had to do was figure out how to change their bodies back, he relayed this aloud. “That,” Crowley said, “Will be hell.”