Chapter Text
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Oh, take me back to the night we met…
He never requested a meeting with his guarantors -- multiple, because his value to G-Men doesn’t absolve the blood on his hands -- so Rui was rather surprised to have it approved for a Friday slot in Ever Grande Conference building. He went alone, in normal clothes instead of his Rockets hunting gear or his WondaShow ringleader uniform. When the receptionist paged him into what’s supposed to be Steven Stone’s office room, there’s three men waiting for him.
Both of his guarantors, Lance and Steven, and- to his surprise, Wallace.
Rui blinked, and there’s a cut freely bleeding on his cheekbone, making him stumble back to grab one of his Pokeballs. His free hand held the cut to stem its bleeding, Lance’s sigh echoing in the deathly silent room. Steven was holding onto Wallace by his wrist, and the Contest Master-
His sky-blue eyes which once were vibrant and lively with mischief and contentment now are dark, the might of the sea with its mountain-high waves roiling in a deadly storm, Poseidon’s ire to Odysseus churned and made physical. A wish, a prayer, a curse-- rage-filled and anguish-tainted, branding his skin and searing his consciousness. This is your fault, and I let him be. It’s my fault, and I let you be. And it was directed at him.
“Mikuri. Stand down.”
His reply was hissed in old Hoennese, and Rui didn’t have to understand the old tongue to know the Champion wished he was dead in the most gruesome ways possible in this era. The complex situation all of them are currently facing was caused by his reckless decision to satisfy his curiosity, and now Leo- or Jasper, if they’re going by the identity he used to study in Kalos, had gone missing once more.
His status as ‘Wanted’ in the ranks of Team Rocket is something that escaped Rui’s radar until Lance managed to stomp on Maestro’s tail, effectively ending his career as the Bloody Admin of Team Rocket. And after weeks of back and forth between the two of them, Maestro was born anew as a traitor to the utopian crusade paraded across the East Continents by Giovanni. A double-edged blade backbiting the smith who tempered it.
(Nobody needed to know the disgust Rui felt at the end of each completed mission, how he exclusively stopped taking on lab experiments involving Pokemon gene splicing after the abomination was brought into the world on New Island, which was the reason why Team Rocket had to blackmail the Tenma scientists into working for them in the first place.
In the end, that lonely pianist has his life ruined by Rui. All that he’s going to be good at for the rest of his accursed life, taking his loved ones down with him.)
Being their previous chief researcher, Rui was introduced to the Tenma couple, scientists hoping the funds offered by Giovanni would be able to support their research to cure their only daughter’s weakening body. The years had also made Amber -- “My real name is Saki, but that’s a secret! Don’t tell anyone!” -- grow on him, a sickly child always left alone in their empty mansion. He saw Nene in her; every time he dropped by for some Rocket-related documents and she weakly smiled at him from the garden. Nyx, the Eevee then Umbreon after his evolution, a surprise shiny she couldn’t do anything (he doubted she’s actually surprised by him being a shiny Eevee, did Leo actually have one hanging from his duffel bag?) except to fully hide him in her room to avoid him being taken away from her, was a gift from someone. Someone so precious to her Amber didn’t share with him their identity even until her death.
(Rui didn’t take into account that the night sky wouldn’t be complete without its stars. That Nyx comes with a pair, a Sylveon by the name of Asteria.
He messed up. And now here he is, surrounded by his own mistakes.)
Lance pushed himself from the mahogany desk, exchanging a nod with Steven before tilting his head at the door to Rui. He followed the Champion outside, and both of them stood outside the door for a few seconds. A hitched sob came from behind the door, and Lance sighed.
“Leo was supposed to be a fresh start.” He sounded tired, the way he absently fingerspelled his actor’s name (is he still Rui’s? Can he really bring WondaShow’s actor back after what he did?) with an empty hand. “Wallace caught me at a bad time, his protege’s sanctuary application got mixed up with finished raid reports on my desk, before I could do the background checks. Leo got assigned to you, and now he’s on the loose again.”
“He pulled something like this in the past?” Lance shook his head.
“Not quite. Little to nothing is recorded about the Tenma’s first born, with no paper trails, not even one fucking birth certificate- The second Team Rocket’s bounty goes public, he’s as much as a Gastly in a graveyard. Even rumours of his appearance were hard as hell to track. He managed to stay on the down low for three years before seeking sanctuary from Hoenn League.”
“And now he’s gone again.” Rui gulped, a migraine building behind his right eye. “Do we follow the same protocol from before and wait for him to contact the ILA first?”
Lance shook his head, dismissing the idea. “Too risky. He would be at his safest under your protection, but your shared history complicates things. We need to track down Leo immediately before the whole underworld knows money is back on the table for the Tenma family’s last survivor.”
Rui grimaced at Lance’s wording, and he shot the Champion an unimpressed look. They’ve grown from the terse cooperation of their tentative truce years ago that Lance now listens to his small requests, on the ground that they’re reasonable and achievable (to his logic, a request to create a compact landmine to incapacitate underworld criminals is a completely normal request. And he’s an inventor, anything is achievable if he tries hard enough to achieve it. Lance puts too little trust in him, Rui said to the G-Men leader). “It’s technically right, but with context, it feels mocking to the tragedy.”
“I’ll refrain from using it again.” The door swung open, and Steven stepped out before closing it swiftly behind him. He sighed with his whole body, shoulder drooping in the same level of exhaustion visible in Lance’s frame. If Wallace was right, Steven had returned from Johto in the middle of his exploration of the Blackthorn caves-
He whipped his head to stare at Lance, who had his eyes scanning the Battle Champion for any visible signs of fatigue. Their eyes met, Steven softly shaking his head and Lance giving him a firm smile. Huh. So they really didn’t hide it from the public; they just didn’t have enough appearances together for the crowd to cook up any theories. Rui didn’t know whether to congratulate them on the carefully planned long-distance relationship goals or suggest both of them to step down from their jobs and settle down in a secluded village somewhere. Steven shifted his gaze to Rui, and he dispelled the thought.
“Kamishiro, I wanted to apologise for Wallace’s actions. Please drop by the infirmary to get that cut treated properly before you leave the building today, the expense will be paid by the League.”
“Is he alright?”
“He will be. Jasper is someone he treasures, and he’s blaming himself for this whole situation. No one is at fault here, secrets that were meant to be buried just reared its head at unfortunate moments. Tell me what you need to do with your contracts at WonderlandsxShowtime, and I’ll negotiate the details with the PWL board directors.”
“Do I need to join the meetings now?” Lance made a face when Steven nodded, then choked when he got jabbed in the stomach with a pointy elbow.
“You agreed to my terms when I gave you the green light to put one of your Shadow G-Men in my region. I’m not letting you slack off to go flying with your Pokemon, G-Men Leader. ”
“This could've been an e- ow! Did you just smack me?!”
“I'll do more than that if you keep running away from your duties. Don't you dare say this could have been an email when it's not! And you won’t even bring your Pokegear while out in the air flying! What, you're tryna be Alder 2.0?”
“Stop it, that's creepy. And I’m not shirking my duties- I legit had too much on my plate.”
“Then what’s Lorelei? Chopped liver? If her help is not enough, hire a PA for all I care Wataru, or Groudon help me, I'm setting your office on fire.”
“Deadass?”
Rui let the two stray with their married couple's spats, fishing his phone out of his pockets following the notifications vibration. He read the texts sent to their group chat and winced.
“Got something going on?”
“My other troupe members just walked out of Nimbasa Police Station. They got the missing person report down, but it’s been a day since I arrived here.”
Lance nodded. “The situation can still work in our favour as long as there’s no official manhunt out for Leo. Now to move onto our next agenda.”
The three men made their way towards the infirmary, bringing their terse discussion along with the echoes of their footsteps. Due to their hulking figure and pinched expression, people naturally steered out of their way to not be on the other end of Steven Stone’s glare, who usually is the most approachable out of the three. Not now, though.
There’s a saying around Rustboro and Sootopolis: “Watch your steps, lest you slip on Stones or drink poisoned Nectars.” The Hanasato is one of Hoenn’s oldest (and coincidentally, the most influential) clans, and the Tsuwabuki family has contributed to the majority of Hoenn’s technological development after the end of the Civil War, spearheading the industrial boom that lifted the archipelago in the eyes of the world. Their influence might not be prevalent outside of Hoenn, but that didn’t stop Steven or Wallace to be the best in their respective fields, defending their Champion titles against challengers or shaking the academic world with groundbreaking research, stealing breaths away with awe-inspiring performances. With scant few commands and signed contracts, both of them could do substantial change to the region, either to help the people prosper or watch them burn. Their adversaries are lucky Steven and Wallace are men with straight moral compasses.
Rui excused himself from the two Champions with a promise to send Steven an email about the changes he wished for in his contracts, to allow him more flexibility in his schedule to track down Leo. He pointedly ignored the Battle Champion standing on shaking legs, his elbow held tightly in Lance’s grip. His leader has transferred Rui to this mission, putting his initial objective on hold and to ensure Leo would be found at the earliest convenience, for the sake of his safety.
“Will Wallace be fine with this arrangement? He’s not actually thrilled after my past came to light.” His cheek, now cleaned and closed with two butterfly stitches, throbbed lightly.
“I’ll talk to him,” Steven assures him. “He’s deeply hurt and keeps blaming himself for everything falling apart before him. It’s a dick move what I’m gonna do next, but he’ll be barred from getting access to the case until he can get his head in the game.”
Lance adds, “Mikuri is registered as one of Leo’s emergency contacts, yes, but with the familial connections he won’t be allowed on the investigation team anyways. He’s an adult, a man with his credibility needs to get his shit together or people are gonna suffer. Yes, he fucked up. But the situation can still be salvaged.”
Is it really? Rui nodded at the two before stepping out of the building, sighing into the warm spring air. Can I still win over the wayward star? Will he want to follow me home, after everything is over?
Luka was taking a power nap in the shade of Ever Grande bus stand, Len shaking her awake once he saw Rui walking towards them. Wordlessly, he sank next to them after he pressed the button for the next bus to stop for them.
“I’m assigned the case,” Rui dutifully filled them in. “My tracking skills are above the levels of average G-Men, so Lance wanted me for it. Even after I admitted to being the one that chased him away…”
The sound of a Pokeball snapping open barely stirred Rui out of his self-deprecation, but the sharp nip on his palm did. Nyx glared at him with half of Rui’s hand clamped between his teeth, Len panicking and Luka rubbing sleep out of her eyes. A huff escaped him, and Nyx narrowed his eyes at the director before letting him go, settling against Len’s chest before closing his eyes.
“What just…” Len glanced at Rui, too afraid to move now that the Umbreon has taken over his chest.
“I have no idea, as well. But it helps, so I won’t hurt my head thinking about it.” He patted the blond android on the back of his hand, and leaned back into his seat.
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I’m just a sad song
It’s weird, travelling with only a small number of their troupe members. It’s too brisk, the minute rest, the clipped meetings after one too many aborted bites of emergency meals (for Rui). Not that it’s Len’s first time on an actual work trip, but usually their unplanned detours would generate enough chaos that it would take Nene and KAITO stepping in before they would be banned from another shop. It’s a constant battle; reeling in Rui and Emu’s half-baked daredevil stunts and ensuring no people are caught in the middle of it. And with the addition of Leo at the start of the year, the sensible ones have gotten another much-needed addition to their ranks.
But now Leo had left, crying. His Umbreon stayed with the troupe, but Nyx is closed off from everyone else except him. Len doesn’t know what he did to get his approval, but he’s going to do his damn best to not disappoint the only link to Leo the troupe had left.
Or maybe he could smell Leo on him. Len had clicked with the actor after that one lunch break they spent play-fighting with branches as swords and faking deep voices, Tauros (and Rui, though nobody noticed him there) as their audience. Even with his voice box failing him after that, Leo supported him until the replacement was installed and he could speak properly again. But he admitted to not being Leo that night, that ‘Leo’ is only one of his many identities to evade capture by the same group that forced Rui into doing those atrocious things that made him hate himself. So are they both suffering from the same source of pain? Then why would Leo leave, when they can stay and heal from their pain together? Len doesn’t get human emotions sometimes.
//They’re pretty stupid, aren’t they?//
//Rin! You can’t say that- We are not even human, so we couldn’t understand them like another human could.//
//Len, my man in the mirror, the Marcus to my Connor, I love you but these two are idiots. Can I use your voice box real quick?//
//I mean… sure?//
//Thanks. I owe you one.// She cleared her throat with his voice box, before starting out with a bang.
“ Oi Rui-kun! You’re such a dum-dum. ”
Rui jumped in his seat, turning to face Len who was cupping his mouth, looking mortified. “She’s- I gave her permission but-”
“ I’m borrowing your voice box now! Let me at him, Len.”
“You’re going to call our genius director names-!”
“ And he deserves it! He has to realise he’s messed up with Leo-kun and needs to rectify this blunder before our troupe comes crashing down!”
“What makes you think WonderlandsxShowtime would be severely affected by the disappearance of one male actor?” Rui crossed his legs on the bus seat, placing his hands on his raised knee to hide the fact that they’re shaking. “We are no strangers to contracted actors before, another person in the troupe is only another actor to play out a character on the stage. I myself, Luka-san, KAITO, MEIKO, goodness- even you and Len-kun, are characters I would need to instruct for the next show. What makes Leo special?”
“Y-You don’t have to listen to her, Rui-”
“You want me to say it, douchebag? Fine, I will. Leo is our final piece!”
Her shout brought attention to the two of them. The scene must have looked rather… psychotic, with two distinctly different voices coming out of Len’s mouth along with his rapid changes between him and Rin fronting, and Rui listening intently to both of them. Hopefully no one would call the nearest mental hospital for a missing patient.
“Don’t you lie to me and say you didn’t notice how comfortable it is to have him doing drills with us, how perfect it feels to have him watch our backs. He made me, all of us- he made us feel complete. And I’m not even human- ” A random passenger in the bus gasped. “ But I feel more alive than I’ve ever felt when I played that back-stabbing harlot that got engaged to Miles Hendon in that play, for a total of three measly scenes. He brought Nene out of her shell faster than I could make her comfortable after you gave us sentience-” Another gasp from the watching crowd. “Rui, she willingly bunked with him. Nene never does that with people she’s icky with! He took Emu and your combined geniuses in stride. He’s one of us as soon as he took Nene’s fears of him harming our troupe and changed it into an impromptu ballroom dancing circle. He understands us the best, Luka with her low energy and the need for rest at all times, KAITO with the incessant urge under his skin to have everything in order from his initial programming, MEIKO with her superstrength from the reinforced plating of her model, Len and I with our shared mindspace and our yearning for individuality. He sees all of us for what we are, and still managed to slot himself in between the crevices. And-”
Her voice wobbled, and the environment in the bus quickly became sombre. Rui noticed everything, how everyone -- even the bus driver. They haven’t moved from a bus stand for the past twenty minutes. Nobody was getting in or off on this station too -- was sitting on the edge of their seat for Rin’s final confession. On one hand, Rui understands perfectly well how devastated the twin androids were at Leo’s abrupt disappearance, and their stand on how Rui approached the actor (weeping pianist? Grieving older brother? Underworld’s PTSD hellscape survivor?) was everything below the bar they had set. He wanted to be petty and said ‘sucks to suck’ but he’s lying to himself; it felt as shitty as dealing the final blow that broke Leo’s cracked dam of emotions. It felt like… he’s a monster again, back with them, walking down the streets like he’s a psychopath sharing the same air as the playthings he’d make out of the people around him.
“He’s healing us, Rui. I don’t wanna be selfish because he’s also holding his grief tight against his chest, that it sinks into his skin and the imprints had been never lifted, but with us, he’s healing himself too. Tell me you see how he's been smiling a lot more since his arrival at our tent those months ago?”
“I see him. His smiles, even when they’re hidden behind his hands, over his shoulders, aimed to the ground. When he smiled, I felt like the clouds parted above us and I can damn near grab a Rainbow Wing from fucking Ho-Oh. Rin.”
“Yes?”
“I fucked up bad, didn’t I?”
“Yes. You did. Which is why we want you to be the one who fixes this. Give and take. Leo gets taken away from us by his own volition, now to give him back to the troupe. Bring back our missing star, director. I refuse to allow him to suffer with his misplaced guilt all by himself.”
His smile was a bit watery this time, but that’s okay. “You don’t have to tell me how to do my job.”
Len felt more than hear Rin recedes to her own area of their mindscape, leaving him with control of his voice box again. But rather than talking about it, he simply opened his arms wide. Rui took the invitation like a man starving, sinking his face into his shoulder and exhaling blearily. Trembling arms wound around his torso, and Len patted Rui on the back of his neck after that charged conversation. His twin always had the inane ability to bring out the worst case of survivor’s guilt out of anyone she argues with. He’d say it’s a backward blessing from Zygarde, but they’ve never been to Kalos before.
//You can just say thank you like a normal person, you know that right?//
//Not really in the mood since you gave our director a verbal beatdown on a bus during the weekend. Ever Grande having little to no Trainers yet this early into the season is a blessing in itself.//
//He needs to hear it. Or else Rui will never learn.//
//Good thing we have you to beat it into him now, do we?// Len knew the sneer is audible between their shared mindscape, but he’s too wrung out to act civil at the moment. Yes, Rin said exactly the points he wanted to make Rui digest and accept, but to dump it all on him? When Rui, though he’s still with blood of the innocents on his hands, was still a victim of psychological manipulation and brainwashing at the hands of the same criminal organisation that hunted down Leo for sharing the same blood as their deceased top scientists?
//WondaShow might have to halt its show for an undetermined amount of time, if we’re focusing on Leo’s case.//
//I’ll ask Emu and Nene about their thoughts on temporarily performing solo for the troupe. They’re smart girls, they’ll know what to do.//
Len had no doubt they could figure it out together, but still, the baseless fear sank its claws into his chest. Even without a working nervous system, Len was feeling pretty jitter-y with the uncertainty of the path his family will be forced to tread in the future.
Leo, where are you? He stared at the moving scenery outside the huge windows, as Rui pulled away from his shoulder and sheepishly wiped at his eyes and cheeks, sticky with salty tears. What do I need to do to bring you home?
"Run, Run Lost Boys" they say to me
Away from all of reality
Neverland is home for lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
Nene knew that when there's too much in her head, Emu would fall silent to sort through the thoughts jam-packed in her mind. Ever the problem solver, the acrobat never had something she was stuck mulling over for multiple days, usually finding a solution for it within an hour to a whole day before quickly implementing it. Thus her quick thinking and even quicker actions that coloured the days of the WonderlandsxShowtime travelling troupe. The incident with Leo (should Nene call him Torpe now? She can't believe the faceless online composer she admired is her fellow troupe member, what in the name of Regigigas’ green fields was he doing here?) was something unprecedented for the troupe, even Nyx that was left behind by his caretaker was stumped by it (although he's quick to recover from it and stuck himself to Len’s side like a particularly stubborn Shellder). But Emu’s prolonged silence was starting to scare her.
Because she had been in her ‘contemplating mode’ for almost 30 hours.
(“That's not healthy, right?” Nene whispered to KAITO, on the train heading towards the police station.
“Maybe. I only read that if they're unresponsive and dissociative then it's definitely not healthy,” whispered KAITO back. “It could be her mind being too fast for her to catch up.”
“Then she can talk with us if it's something too heavy for her to process alone.”
“You know how Emu is, always eager to be independent from others. Let's give her some time.” KAITO smiled at her, offering a hand that Nene grasped, trying her best to convey every scrap of fear she had in her well-hidden heart. And KAITO -- bless him -- always understands her best, after her own girlfriend.)
MEIKO left to check them into a hotel in Nimbasa, as their AirBnB lease had expired that morning, the two human members in the troupe leaving their carry-ons with Kaito and Rin as they walked into the police station. Rui had left the same night Leo went missing, an emergency meeting with his sponsors as soon as they lost track of Leo in the forest. Something about confidential information and Rui being involved in a case that he didn’t know of, was the only thing he managed to tell the others before teleporting to Hoenn. Len and Luka had to take a flight back since androids circuitry will fry with Pokemon-assisted teleportations.
As she pushed around the nachos -- not something very filling for lunch, but she didn’t feel particularly peckish after… well, everything, really -- in her paper plate, Nene decided to give Emu until tonight to share with her what’s eating away at her. She can be lenient when it’s a common issue but with how high-strung the rest of the troupe, someone needs to step up and push everyone into motion once more. Hopefully her intervention tonight wouldn’t take up much time for the emergency meeting she had planned right after that.
.
..
. . .
“You… what? ”
Her tears won’t stop streaming down her face, hiccups shaking her shoulders as she stared at the pink-haired girl before her. A velvet box, the colour of precious jade, was clutched tight in her hands that Nene was afraid she would accidentally damage the twin rings inside. She shot out to grasp Emu’s hands, and her eyes, vibrant bubblegum pink now reduced to dull sakura petals, looked up from their combined fists to her eyes, wet with unshed tears. Emu gasped, pulling away to squeeze Nene’s hands before wiping at her wet cheeks with her sleeves.
“Baby, why are you crying? I don’t-”
“You wanted to propose to me?! Hello-” A bubble of hysterical laughter escapes her, drawing suspicious looks from other patrons in the restaurant. “I can’t believe it- who wouldn’t cry when the person they loved their whole life wanted to fucking propose -” Nene yanked one of her hand free to help Emu with her mission to dry her tears. But her grumbling brought forth the reason why she was crying at first again, and a fresh wave dripped down from her already red-rimmed eyes. Nene’s whole body was wracked with sobs and hiccups, and let her forehead land on the greasy fast-food table.
“Nene-chan, please don’t put your cute forehead that I like to kiss so much on the dirty table-”
Nene only sobbed harder. Emu finally gave up trying to reason with her girlfriend, opting to change her seat and sidle into the booth to hug Nene to her chest. This time, she went limp willingly into Emu’s arms, still trying in vain to wipe at her tears. The whole troupe were no strangers to having eyes on them, but even Emu could agree that getting ogled while she was comforting her girlfriend is a bit too much.
Their saviour came in the form of KAITO dropping the tray he opted to stash away for the two girls, eyes wide as he took in their songstress in hysterics when he just left for barely two minutes ago. MEIKO was quick to yank him away from them, entertaining the crowd further with their animated squabbling and taking the attention away from both Emu and Nene.
As she blew into another pocket tissue, Nene asked, “When did you get the idea?”
“To propose? Well, I was hoping to do it on our anniversary.” Emu squeezed her softly when Nene shifted to look up at her. “Hush now, let me finish. I might have rushed into thinking of the perfect plan to wow you for our anniversary! The food! The scenery! The show! I was going to do it, I really do! But I was afraid of ruining it like I did with everything else I cherished in my life, and Leo-kun caught me at my lowest. He helped me line my Farfetch’ds and pull myself together to think about the Nimbasa vacation surprise. It’s hilarious to see him being peeved about the trip though. Totally worth the vehemence in him throwing me off the platform.”
“Please don’t joke around during our flying drills.”
“Tell that to the bitter man.”
Their conversation lulls after that, both girls soaking in each other’s presence. Nene is still dabbing at her clumpy eyelashes, sleeves now halfway soaked with her tears before an idea struck her. “Emu. Rui goes back to Hoenn right after Leo went missing. He didn’t say anything but the level of urgency he exudes to have to use Pokemon-assisted teleportation could only mean-”
“- it’s related to his G-Men missions.” Emu finished her thoughts. Her arms loosened around Nene and the two looked at each other.
“Could all of this-” Nene gestures vaguely at the table before them. “Leo’s disappearance and recruitment into WonderlandsxShowtime, a secret mission for Rui that we aren’t supposed to know about?”
“Len mentioned that Rui-kun was bamboozled when he finally connected the dots. And apparently Leo-kun has been avoiding him for a while. Something about Leo-kun’s parents being scientists and him having a different name that he used? I just realised, we barely scratched the surface on the mystery surrounding Leo-kun.”
“I’m mad at him,” Nene spat out, white-hot coals cracking at the bottom of her lungs. But even with the fiery anger scalding her stomach and puffing bitter smoke up her windpipe, there’s still a softness that belies her disturbed emotions. Traitor, she hissed at her heart.
That little thing said nothing back, because they knew who the real liar was between them.
“I’m mad at him,” Nene reiterates, “but not for hiding who he really is from us. Rui… he did that too, at first.”
“Yep! And we won him over, then we raised hell for my brothers!” Emu sagged against Nene’s shoulder, before perking up. “Ooh, should we do a reenactment of that time? With Leo, that is.”
“That…” It is actually a sound idea. And if they can get Rui on-board, along with Wallace and Rui’s sponsors… “If we have a plan, then I think it can be achieved.”
“Wait, you’re agreeing with me?” A hand pressed against her forehead, and Nene grumpily pushed Emu away. “Are you okay? Is it the food here? I know we haven’t been back to Nimbasa in a while-”
“I’m fine , Emu.” Squeezing her girlfriend’s hand, Nene took a deep breath before she disentangled herself from her. Emu whined, kicking her legs under the table but letting her go willingly. “Hush now, let me finish.” Nene used her words back at her, making Emu scrunch her nose but complied anyway.
“We cannot bother Rui and the others now, but we can plan ahead with the rest on how to track down Leo and tell them about it later. If he’s someone that is supposed to be protected by Rui, then Leo would probably be someone on witness protection. First thing to cross off the list- we need to think about what we should do with our shows, since we cannot find Leo and perform at the same time…”
“What if we can?”
Here I am alone between the heavens and the ambers
Oh, it hurts so hard for a different million reasons
You took the best of my heart and left the rest to pieces
The rain felt like it's been going on forever.
How long has it been since he stepped out to his backyard, a basket and a pair of scissors magically appearing in his hands, crouched in the middle of his garden staring at nothing? He couldn’t smell the sharp scent of the herbs planted in the soil, couldn’t bother with the bite of the morning rain on his skin, the dewdrops on blades of grass kissing his shin and wetting his trousers. The gaping hole in his heart refused to close itself. He doesn’t have the right to grieve like this, when he’s not the one with his trust betrayed. He doesn’t deserve to have this guilt eating at him, and yet.
And yet, it’s there.
And Mikuri could do nothing except live with it nestled in between his ribcage and heart.
He’s the reason why he left. An idiot who kept meddling in things he's not supposed to know, and getting everyone he cherished hurt in the aftermath.
The scissors in his death grip was pried loose by gentle fingers, put out of his reach before he was no longer pelted by the stinging tears of the sky mourning along with him. Mikuri raised his head, dull aquamarine eyes meeting the soft grey irises of his daughter. “...’nori?” He croaked, voice unused since who knows how long. “You’re home, little one?”
“Yes, papa. I heard about what happened.” His daughter smiled, a small thing that looks foreign on her usually bright face, and his heart breaks even further. The grey skies became the witness to the infallible Contest Master collapsing into his daughter’s arms, sobbing with his whole chest.
Minori’s hand had cramped past the ten-minute mark where they sat on the wet ground, her father hiccuping and mumbling apologies into her soaked jacket. But she loathed to move now, when her papa is seconds away from crumbling beyond repair, jagged pieces so worn they no longer fit against each other. Her chest felt tight with the grief they shared, tears brimming her eyes, but her papa needs her now. She can break down in his arms later, when exhaustion isn't weighing down on her bones and anger hasn't felt as acrid as it does sitting on the back of her throat, for a brother figure that kept getting further away, like water slipping past her chalk-stained fingers.
She wondered when it all changes, the Jasper that she remembers is someone that has always been surrounded by people back in the academy. A shining beacon that she and Tōya always looked up for, turning heads every time he walked into a room demanding attention even when he exasperatedly explained to everyone he preferred staying by her and Tōya’s side. A diligent student and a thoughtful upperclassmen, always ready to lend a hand for someone in need. Minori was ecstatic to learn more about Jasper, his Hoennite origin (they're from the same region!!! She can visit his home!!!) and his passion for songwriting, the multitude of recipes he had them taste test and accept the requests made by Tōya and her, even his crippling phobia with bugs. Her blindingly bright upperclassmen who protected them from bullies in the academy and nurtured their talents until they could stand on their own, and was genuinely surprised both of them never had the intention to part from him. Selfless, altruistic, sometimes oblivious Jasper, a stranger that she couldn't bear to call anything but her brother, lost to the wind due to an old heartache torn open. It’s frustrating, having no one to blame when the stars and planets align just right to screw you over.
The backdoor creaked open, just enough for a long strand of turquoise hair to slip past the door, and one cerulean eye peeked from behind the door. “Minori… you’re home?”
“Yes, Miku-chan. Help me with papa, please?” Minori’s smile was a tad bit strained, adjusting her grip on her father’s arm. The android swung the door open, hurrying outside only to skid to a stop when Minori shouted: “Miku-chan, umbrella!”
“Ah.” She retrieved the one hanging by the door and held it over the three of them, sliding to Wallace’s left to lift him up along with Minori. She left her own umbrella outside — it's not a heavy storm, so it can handle being untethered for the time being — and left her papa in front of the warm oven with Miku, rummaging through the sun room's cupboard for towels.
“My heart felt like it’s exiting my chest back there.” Minori joked when she returned to wrap her papa in a towel. “You can’t get under the rain, remember? Or has papa been sending you out during a drizzle again?” The android was silent, unnaturally so. “He didn’t, right, Miku-chan?”
The android shook her head, and she exhaled way too loud for it to pass as anything casual. Oh well, c'est la vie . “Mikuri-sama has been busy these past few weeks, with shows near the east coast to close the Showcase Season and open it for the Battling Season. I have kept the house clean as per the instructions in my programming, but concerns regarding Mikuri-sama’s well-being are unfortunately out of my league.”
Miku fiddled with her hands -- a tic she picked up from Minori while she was still around in Hoenn -- the silicone coating on her fingers having wear and tear from doing chores around the house.
Minori knew her papa and she has been reminded her again and again to not feel bad about leaving her alone in the house; Hatsune Miku the Singing Android’s copyright for the VOCALOID Project with Devon and Phoenix Wonderlands will be void in approximately three years, and then Minori and her papa would be free to bring Miku along with them on their trips. (But Miku has and will always be family, so there's that.) And she is also slowly leaving the boundaries of her programs while living with them, adopting a more familial bond with who are essentially her owners. Both Mikuri and Minori are overjoyed with these gradual changes, and keep encouraging her to find new hobbies and interests for herself.
Housekeeping starts as something to keep her hands busy while both of them are away, and now it feels therapeutic for the android instead of what they assumed to be consuming most of her free time.
“How long has it been going on?” Minori draped a towel around her shoulder, pressing her weight into her papa’s shoulder. Miku busied herself at the kitchen island making tea, filling an electric kettle and switching it on.
“Ever since he returned from Ever Grande… He collapsed to his knees as soon as I closed the door behind him.”
“That’s two weeks ago.”
“I’m sorry, Minori, but I prioritised Mikuri-sama’s welfare over telling you about his conditions. He also refused to let me contact you, but I thought this has gone on for too long. You deserved to know he’s in pain, because you’re his daughter too-” Miku gasped, clamping a hand on her mouth. Minori looked up with a smile, the tension that only the other girl felt breaking when the hot water was done. She leapt into fixing a fresh pot like a Zubat out of hell.
The topic of familial relationship is somewhat sensitive for Miku, who insisted that she shouldn't be treated as a part of the family. They both refused to believe that Tauros-crap within the second of hearing it but respected the android enough to not embarrass her at every slip up. “Thanks for telling me, Miku-chan. Did you know why he’s feeling like this?”
She accepted the steaming cup of tea with a whispered thanks, scooting over to let Miku sit on the ground to Mikuri’s left. Miku shook her head.
“Well… There’s this upperclassman of mine that papa has all but officially adopted, and the only reason he’s not more forward with it like he does with Tōya-kun and Aoyagi Harumichi-san is because Jasper-senpai is really, really defensive around the topic.” Kind of like you, Minori sighed into her cup. “I see him enter the principal’s office to discuss his family’s absence in PTA meetings and walk out with the principal crying. Considering how he’s the conductor of a very influential orchestra group in Lumiose City at that time, I take it that whatever they discussed was pretty serious, and probably heartbreaking too.”
“So… he kept everyone at arm’s length?” Miku asked.
“Mm. Tōya-kun, papa and I- We have been patiently chipping away his layers of defences bit by bit, and it's hard work even after five years. Papa was thoroughly charmed- you would too, Miku-chan. Jasper-senpai has a unique allure that forces you to keep your eyes on him.” The tea warms her cheeks where she kept a mouthful in her mouth, and Minori tucks the mug closer to her chest before swallowing. “But I'm not giving up, never. Jasper-senpai believed in me even when I'm at my lowest, and he's been there for me- for Tōya-kun and I, on every step of our journey to where we are now. I'm not leaving him to suffer alone, not when I can be there for him.”
The last sentence was a vow whispered into the air, a wisp of a prayer floating free for the taking of any deities who were present when it was uttered. An anonymous letter with no fixed address, but a string tied to its sender. Relentless, stubbornly holding onto hope when the odds are stacked against them, a lone lighthouse standing tall in the eye of a storm. Tossed to and fro with fear and uncertainty, but facing the challenges head-on.
Nobody knew it was the flavour most craved by a certain figure.
In the hustle and bustle of the Halls, a curious paw brushed against the wayward string.
A penny for my thoughts- oh no, I'll sell em for a dollar
There's so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singin'
Funny when you're dead, how people start listenin'
The chord progression is off. Tōya replayed the bar, fingers digging and flicking and teasing Ivory keys at the right depth and pressure, hard-gained habits twisted from a curse to a blessing.
You have really good pianist ethics, Tōya! Now I know why your music is always so full of life.
He let himself sway to the melody, but held steady so as to not lose himself in it. Something must be fixed here, though the ‘what’ is eluding him. Something has to come out better from this, because. He has to keep working on his next piece, keep getting better, keep honing the skills he has picked in between the dark crevices of his life in before-
Working on another piece? I think the choir room's piano would be unoccupied now that it's lunch hour- I have the key too, so~ wanna hammer out the kinks?
His whole world back then was hell on Earth; nothing but a gilded cage with thorns crawling up the bars cutting his fingers whenever he dared to hope, his passion and love for music being meld and shaved to fit a stage that had poisoned his bleeding palms and soles. Tōya had given up on having someone hear his cries for help, the yearning for freedom and his shrivelled up love to bloom once more please, my heart, for me he's pouring into his performance. A lonely whale amidst the vast sea, searching for others to sing with him.
Of course I want to hear the bridge you're working on, duh. Hit me, Tōya! Ow- Hanasato, you rascal- not literally!
He reached the issue in the progression but couldn't find it in him to stop playing, fingers neatly plucking the next note on the score. Then the next bar, followed by the other, and the next one, until he's reached the end of the score, yet Tōya couldn't stop. He has to get better than- whatever this is, it's a goal within his reach. He knew it- he knew he could do better! He has to- he needs to be better- do better- more and more and keep climbing the staircase to pluck the stars from the sky- because if he don't-
The jarring notes from where he slammed his fists into the keys echoed in the small studio, a cruel symphony to his roiling emotions. Tōya's chest aches something fierce, and he briefly thinks if this is what people feel before they die.
Because that's what happened, isn't it? The person that reignited his will to live, the reason he hadn't gone off the deep end four years ago, the star to guide him home; he's gone. And this time, without any preamble, without any notes left to appease troubled hearts.
Should he be dead by now? Flayed flesh and brittle bones; tear open his ribcage, revive the dying cells and replace the burst vessels. These choirs and melodies don't make for good second chances, Tōya's found it the hard way.
People often spoke of grief as love with no home, the ghost of the past haunting the narrative and living in between the spaces that echoes. And Tōya thought he understood what it is; the firm claps on his shoulder from his father that spoke of high expectations and thinly veiled disappointment, the echoes of his late mother’s cookies on his tongue in bites of snacks eaten after-school, the way lights filtered through the wobbly DIY stained glass project hanging from his windows evoking bittersweet memories of his childhood and adolescence. He thought he had finally had it in his grasp, the meaning of grief- his own grief.
You got this, Tōya. I'm at the piano, and Minori is in the crowd. We both got you covered, so you can go crazy on the stage and wow the audience. Got it? Because I'm not repeating that it's uber cringe-
But then Jasper never did say his goodbyes. To Minori, to Mikuri-san. To him. Where should he place this love in his grasp, burning his skin and fingers- where could it be placed, for it to finally find its way home?
“Never saw you this off-kilter before.”
The sound of the night air whistling beyond the opened window -- one Tōya knew he’d locked before working on his next project -- registered in his grief-addled senses. Next was the low average temperature of Celestic Town nightlife-
The intruder in his studio slid the lock for the window back, trapping himself inside. “What are you doing here, Akito?” He asked, all the vitriol and fight leaving him in his next exhale.
“I brought you dinner, and this is the thanks I get?” The intruder scoffed. “Without me dropping by like these every few days, you won’t even step out of this studio for food. Damned musical geniuses.” The plastic bags in his hands rustled as Akito placed the takeout on the coffee table by the window. “Come eat, they have donburi on sale today. I got you the iced coffee from the diner next to the Pokemon Center that you liked so much-”
Coffee again, Tōya? I’m actually curious now, is it really that good… Aht! You drank it black?! Y-You… Monster! Oh wait, you’re not actually a monster, I’m sorry Tōya, don’t take it to heart…
His throat closed up at the thought of even drinking his favourite beverage. Tōya gulped, and finally realised how parched his throat is. How long has he been sitting in front of the piano?
“C’mon Tōya, the food’s getting cold.” Akito placed a hand on his shoulder and when he didn’t protest, wrapped a hand around his arm to guide him to the coffee table. Tōya couldn’t spare even an ounce of energy to keep his feet under him, earning him a couple of hissed curse words from Akito.
But the intruder never complained, holding him aloft until they reached the couch and let Tōya settle against the soft couch, his touch almost gentle to the grieving musician. But that’s an absurd thing for a hired mercenary to do, so Tōya chalked it all up to his starving mind playing tricks on him.
He didn’t touch the coffee poked with a straw at his elbow, not once.
And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes
I fall into your arms
I'll be safe in your sound ‘til I come back around
The wrapping paper protecting the bouquet in her hands crinkled as she finished the last few steps for the hike atop the hill. Once more, a fresh arrangement sat in a translucent vase by the tombstone.
Red and white and pink carnation fastened in a bow, with a smattering of pink camellias and sprigs of rosemary. I will never forget you, sweet love, my aching heart longs for you. It would look no different in the window of The Sunrise’s Star, her family’s flower shop and nursery, except the shop never had those ribbons on sale.
It’s a handmade bouquet, this one.
One that she knew just who did the arrangement and cleaned the vase, filling it with water from the terracotta pot nearby.
“He’s visited you this morning, Saki?” A finger caressed the polished marble, and a small smile bloomed on her face. “What doting older brother… He’s always been one, even after all these years.”
“I just hoped he could forgive himself for what happened all those years ago.” Her own bouquet placed into another vase and placed to the left of the tombstone, the girl sat in front of the raised platform. “He’s a bit too stubborn for that, but I just knew- you would like for him to move on from his past mistakes. The Saki I befriended would want that for her ‘Jasper’.”
“Because she’s my ‘Amber’?”
The girl whipped her head around, to a man standing before her, holding a wooden basket in his hands. “I got sandwiches and chips, if you would like some. You haven’t had breakfast, do you?”
“I-” don’t eat breakfast, but her stomach sounded its complaint by growling like a Ursaring woken up mid-hibernation. An amused huff came from him, one hand disappearing into the basket to offer her a neatly packaged yakisoba bun.
“There’s no cucumber, I remember you hated those in your bun back then.”
“Cucumber had no business being in a yakisoba bun,” she muttered, accepting the package and ripping into it without shame, now that her hunger has made its presence known. “I didn’t know you got back from Kalos.”
“You’re going to insist on picking me up at the airport.” A bundle of napkins batted her on the forehead. “You don’t have a driver’s licence, kiddo.”
“Not a kid,” she grumbled, but the bun culled her raging hunger, so she silently nibbled on it. “And I’m gonna get my Trainer's licence this year. I studied very hard and did very well in the writing and practical exams.”
“You did? What about the on-field first aid, those always tripped me up.” He shot her a grin. Instead of floundering, she rose to meet his expectations.
“I helped around in the flower shop, so grandma taught me which medical herbs and berries that are League-approved, both in Kanto and other regions. The proctor was super impressed by my knowledge, we talked about it until the exam was done! I even got some Poffin recipes from them!”
He let out a whistle, visibly pleased with her readiness. The twinge of guilt in her chest lessened. “That’s cool. Wanna trade for some I have with me?”
“I dunno… Do you have one that works with sweet berries?”
“Can’t seem to balance them in a batter, huh?”
She tore into her second yakisoba bun, an argument brewing on the tip of her tongue. “Measuring natural sugar ratio to artificial sweeteners in baked goods is so hard . Ugh, I don’t know how professional bakers did it. How do you pick fruits and berries and just- know how much you gotta add to make the flavours just right? And I can’t stand spicy food, so I can’t eat if I’m baking savoury or spicy Poffins!”
“There’s actually a technique to it,” he huffed in amusement, before taking a swig from his water bottle. “But the instructions in my cookbook are in Kalosais, so I’ll just let you off with one of the simpler sweets recipes. How’s that?”
She turned to him, icy-blue eyes peering into sunset-brown ones. “... Do I get to hunt you for more recipes once I complete my gym runs?”
“We’ll see.”
“... It’s been a while. How are you?”
The man sitting next to her said nothing, at first. Picking idly at one corner of the napkin, eyes staring into the horizon with a faraway look on his face. It’s a look she’d seen him wear often, behind his sister’s back on the rare occasion he’s allowed home from his boarding school overseas.
Funny how it’s the same one she’d seen in the mirror every morning.
“I can’t seem to move on-” His voice cracks, sounding utterly lost. “You’re right, Ichika- Saki would’ve wanted me to- to live my life- to go out there, make more music that makes people smile, like I used to do for her-”
He wiped at his eyes, gulping. “Sorry, you’re here to talk to Saki and I ranted at you. Sorry Saki, your Jasper turned into a crybaby after you-”
A choked off sob came from him, and Ichika grasped one of his hands in hers. Hoping that with an anchor, both of them would survive the tsunami of grief aiming to unmoor them along its path.
“Little Amber, I missed you…”
I’m here for Tsukasa, Saki. Don’t worry, be at peace.
You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head
Put all your faults to bed
You can be king again
It’s a tale full of tragedy, this fable that’s been opened before her.
Of a weary magician seeking justice, unearthing secrets brought to the grave of innocents for the best of both worlds. Hurting loved ones and forcing them into fleeing the bubble of safety they had built together.
Of a lonely fool drifting through the clouds, in an attempt to escape his destiny, had found companionship in an unlikely party. Then he’d gotten too lenient, too soft- on himself . And had paid the price, steep as it is.
Hurt, freshly inflicted and old scars torn open once more, what difference does it make in the end? Both shall heal with time and support.
But the fool refused to open his heart once more, feeling betrayed by the magician’s rash decisions. In the end, both ends are hanging precariously by the end of the rope of their decisions.
What to do, when an impasse seemed too conflicted to be solved?
MEIKO closed the storybook in her lap, drumming her fingers on the hardcover. What powers does she have over the plot of this ever-evolving story? To manipulate the events, to change the fate of two souls so they can find solace in their actions once more?
What can MEIKO do, in order for them to start healing?