Chapter Text
Patrons at the Snapping Turtle are slowly grabbing their warm coats, empty glasses are being pushed aside and the quiet chatter slowly dies down. It is closing time.
Amanda finishes polishing a few new glasses and sets them down on the drying rack in front of her. She feels comfortable here behind the bar. Almost like a safety net, watching over people, a barrier separating her insecurities from theirs.
The loud sound of a wooden bar stool being moved across the floor gains her attention.
“Hey Amanda, you said you had some news?” Moses’ eyes look comically big, despite his rectangle glasses framing his face. In her peripheral, Amanda watches a few people leave and wave goodbye as she nods in their direction.
“Yeah, so…- I uh went to her cabin.”
Moses’ eyes are still trained on her.
“And it was empty. Completely. Like Max had just up and left for good.”
Amanda pushes her hands onto the wooden bar, trying to somehow hold onto it, hold onto something, trying to ground herself.
If Moses notices her being so unsteady, he doesn’t say anything.
“That sounds quite serious, especially for Max. And she once teleported a huge telescope into my office by accident.” Moses jokes as he trains his eyes on a glass ahead of him.
A small smile graces his lips. It is gone as soon as Amanda notices it.
“I- I don’t think I wanna know.” She tries to lighten the mood but Max’s mysterious absence still hangs heavy over the both of them.
“But yeah, it’s empty. Reggie mentioned her classes are being covered by someone else. So- I assume Yasmin knows…?” She probes.
Moses shrugs with his heavy shoulders. “Possibly. Yasmin wouldn’t cancel classes just because a teacher is absent. That would be “inefficient.” He jokes as he gestures with air-quotes.
“Maybe we should ask her? Just checking in if she has seen Max, if she is- I don’t know- visiting someone? On vacation? Sick? You know, if she mentioned anything.” Amanda’s hands feel heavy against the colder wooden top, so she removes herself from it and starts to cross her arms instead.
“You want to ask Yasmin about that? Really? After her accident and everything?” Is all Moses can come up with.
“I mean- not me personally but someone else who might have a reason to speak with her?” She raises her eyebrows and hopes Moses can still read minds. “Wish her well.”
Spoiler alert, even without superpowers he receives the messages. Moses sighs. He looks defeated.
“I couldn’t do a lot for Safi when Max was jumping between timelines. I tried but- what was I supposed to do?” He looks at Amanda.
“But this, this I can do.”
--
The following morning Amanda decides to meet up with Moses near the lake in front of the main building. She appreciates Moses wanting to do this by himself, low-key talk to Yasmin and find out where Max might have gone. But he doesn’t have to be entirely alone.
“Here goes nothing.” Moses says as he bids Amanda farewell and heads towards to the administrative building.
-
Years have passed, lives changed, loved ones moved on, moved away. But.
“I am so sorry I couldn’t save you, Rachel.”
No tears make it past Max’s cheeks as she once again stands in an abandoned junkyard filled with broken pieces of her old life. This is the spot they once dug up Rachel’s body. The spot Chloe’s life changed forever. For the second time.
Max remembers the horror on Chloe’s tear-stained face as she screamed. And screamed. And screamed. It almost felt like she would never stop and Max would have understood. She would have held her as she wept and simply tried to tell Chloe: “I am sorry.”
“…so sorry, Chloe.“ A tear now stains Max’s face.
She should have brought colorful flowers, but the better part of her doesn’t want this to be Rachel’s last resting place. This will always be a place of horrors, of short endings and even shorter beginnings.
This is when things really started to fall apart.
“If only I could have, I don’t know, gone back in time and warned you. Just, given you a sign or something.” Max speaks to dirt.
Trying to gain her footing she stands in the dirt, tapping twice at her carrier bag.
Not being able to save Rachel in this timeline is one of her biggest regrets. But Max also remembers her Flickers. When her and Chloe tried to figure out what they mean to each other, what they really want from one another, the universe gave them one last choice.
Max would at random be able to transverse timelines.
But she couldn’t go quite voluntarily and it would cause her immense pain. Her nose bleeds got worse, almost unstoppable.
Intense headaches would cause her to pass out and wake up in timelines she wouldn’t recognize. Timelines where she would find her own grave near the lighthouse. Where they never met.
Timelines where Rachel was alive, happy and in love with Chloe.
Timelines where things weren’t this broken.
All of this cost Max.
She would lose herself, somehow cease to exist.
She wouldn’t recognize certain events or confuse them. She felt torn between multiple universes.
And yet here she stands. Heavy machinery and beeping bring Max back to her actual reality and her current mission.
Fix this. Whatever this is.
Familiar roads turn unfamiliar. Most of the trees gracing the mountain lines are smaller or gone. The lighthouse has been repaired throughout the years yet standing at the overlook still feels exactly the same.
Terrifying.
Phone lines and electricity wires have been removed, all junk and trash has been picked clean and sorted. A new city is coming to life and Max has never felt more like a stranger than right now, standing on a half-finished road.
A road she once used to walk all the time. During childhood and complicated teenage years.
Her and Chloe once visited for closure, when the Prescott Foundation started the rebuild. The churches, the houses and school.
Blackwell Academy.
When the monument was unveiled what felt like a timeline ago, she traversed timelines. Back then also to “fix” things. But all it did was make things even worse.
Now, an adult with even more complicated powers, losses and broken pieces Max stands in front of her old school. Somewhat rebuilt, somewhat new, she wonders what exactly it is that brought her here.
Was it Chloe? Jefferson? Her parents? Her own guilt? Maybe some sort of anniversary?
Max is unsure but continues forward, as she always had to.
The grass surrounding the fountain at the entrance still looks the same. The entrance doors do not however. Out of habit, maybe feeling like a teenager again, Max pulls out her burner phone.
She bought herself a cheap one just in case of an emergency. She transferred the important numbers over before turning her old phone off for good. No messages, no nothing.
She tries to spot her old dorm, their old building with the brick walls and not isolated windows.
Max can’t.
As she rounds a few outside walls separating the dorms from the gymnasium, a small noise stops her in her tracks. Was that- no. It can’t be.
“Is anyone there?” Max tries to ask. Her voice is shaky, unsure. Terrified.
“Time to do or dive, Max!”
She stops.
”Oh yeah, baby! Feels like a hot tub.”
”Tell me you’re not going to stand there watching me like a zombie.”
Water noises like a splash can be heard
”Don’t you dare!”
It’s her. It’s Chloe, it’s her- it’s her own voice. What is going on here? Where is this coming from? What is happening now?
Max furiously looks around, she stomps on fresh grass and tries to listen. She looks everywhere, focuses on the voices, her voice and furiously runs into the direction of it.
She runs, runs runs runs runs-
Her lungs burn, there is blood running down her face somewhere and all she tries to think about is Amanda, Moses, Safi-
The school around her is a blur, colors mix and the air feels heavy as Max stumbles further into what she believes is the main hall. Her body collapses roughly against two heavy double doors and the last remaining energy she has had is now gone.
Her elbows hit the floor in an instant and she falls roughly onto her arms.
It’s all a mess, her vision fading as her consciousness loses the fight.
With one last will of strength Max rummages for her burner phone, pushes her hands deep into her pockets but it hurts, everything hurts when she moves.
She can’t see what she does, she tries to feel her way to the last line of communication she has left but this is a fight she knows she won’t win.
“Urgh- Amanda, I-“
A few days prior.
Amanda is working the bar as usual when she spots a familiar face moping right in front of her.
Head on the counter, laying his heavy head on his arms.
Reggie has been the most worked up after what has happened. His posture has become inverted, his eyes are mostly glued the ground nowadays. He seems distant, lost in his thoughts.
He still seems to hang out with his Abraxas buddies, yet whenever Amanda spots him outside of the bar, he’s alone.
With a quick motion Amanda slides a beer towards him.
“What’s got you moping at my bar?” She starts trying to make light conversation, trying to not bring up the trauma.
“Everything.” He answers non-cholent.
“That’s a lot.” She leans on the bar as well. “You uh- want to talk about it?” She tries.
“Just- how do people just go on after what happened?” Reggie starts as he lifts his head off his arms and leans on his elbows instead.
Amanda listens. She was always good at being there for people and making them feel better. Even when it made her feel worse. Something she and her therapist are working on.
He continues. “Safi was in our heads, she was able to read our thoughts or something and just- Max can go back in time?” He looks at Amanda.
“Does that not freak you out?”
“I mean-“ she starts. “- of course it does. In a way it feels so fucking weird to know that these people with supernatural powers exist.” Amanda looks at Reggie.
“But, they’re also our friends, you know?” She tries to give him a genuine smile but it doesn’t come across as such.
Reggie sits a little straighter as he takes a sip of his beer. Amanda patiently waits.
“I don’t know, I guess it’s just a lot for now.” He shrugs before taking another sip. “Have you, have you seen Diamond around here lately?”
Amanda thinks hard on this. She tries to focus on who comes and goes but her mind had been occupied by looking out for a certain someone and it may has causes her some disappointment when it wasn’t her.
“No, at least I don’t think so.” It’s strange now that Amanda thinks further on it. Diamond is somehow always around, either with Reggie or Moses. “Maybe Moses knows where she is.”
A few more patrons enter the bar and sit closely around one of the free tables. Amanda nods straight into their direction and idly pulls a few fresh glasses from the drawer.
“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Amanda.” Reggie continues to sip his beer.
“Sure thing.” Amanda makes her way over to the other side of the counter as she turns and says “But no more broken glass, got it?”
A few more drunk hours pass, people come and go, drinks are spilled and Amanda wishes she wasn’t such a people pleaser and disagreed to take this shift today.
Oh well, shit happens.
So while she cleans up her 13th spilled drink of the night (Thank you, Reggie), she spots Moses. Remembering the conversation with Reggie earlier, she makes her way over.
“Moses, hey.” He looks up at her, a concentrated look on his face. “How are you holding up?”
“Ah, Amanda, hi.” Moses glances down, then back up at her from whatever book he was reading.
“Nothing new on my end, just trying to make it through.” He laughs to himself. “Still trying to figure out this telescope thing.” Moses points at the book in front of him, a few papers spilling out of it. They look like manuals.
“Is this about that “Max teleported a huge Telescope into my office”-thing?” She inquires. Moses smiles widely.
“Yeah, it is. I’m still trying to figure out how matter displacement could work but- that’s not my area of expertise.” He relaxed a little into the booth he sat in and Amanda decides to not stand around and wait for the next glass to break.
She sits down opposite Moses and listens.
“You could ask me any question about the stars, our moons, planets and even the most unpopular constellations and I would be able to explain it to you. But time travel and shape shifting? Dead friends not being dead anymore? That wasn’t in my lectures.” Moses looks a little amused.
Amanda understands where Moses is coming from.
It feels as if reality has shifted and while people try to continue as if nothing has happened, there’s less trust. Amanda thinks of Max and Safi before all of this;
How sometimes they’d sit so close at their table, shoulder on shoulder, laughing about the dumbest joke. How nerdy Max would get and Safi would roll her eyes but everyone knew she still listened closely.
They had something special even before all of this.
And now they’re both not around, for different reasons, and everyone else is left to pick up the pieces themselves. Max did a great job of trying to fix it, help everyone, talk them through it. She stuck around.
But now she isn’t around either.
Which reminds Amanda.
“Moses-“ She pauses. “-Have you seen Diamond around campus? Reggie bugged me about it and I haven’t seen her name on my tab list in a minute.”
Moses considers her questions and thinks on it. His right hand moves to his jaw, gently stroking his beard. “Not that I remember.”
“When have you last seen her?” Amanda asks.
“That’s a good question. We talked after Max visited the Turtle the last time. She still owes me a game of Mana Massive and I reminded her of that, but- I haven’t seen her since then.”
Interesting.
Amanda sighs. “This is all so weird, like- First Safi, then Max and now Diamond is gone, too?”
“I don’t think anything happened to her. She’s had a lot on her plate with the entire Vinh/Abraxas situation. She’ll be okay. I know it.”
Amanda nods heavily while getting up.
“I trust you, Moses. Think we all need the positivity you have right now, man.” Amanda walks off as Moses’ gently laughs at her remark.
Amanda will let Reggie know the next time he makes an appearance at the bar. Or the next time he breaks another glass.
It doesn’t take long for something weirder to happen. While most people on campus are starting to regain their routine, find their bearings and try to move on, Amanda feels like she is still stuck inside some kind of loop.
Something still isn’t right. She just can’t put her finger on it.
Not until Moses randomly shows up exceptionally early to the Snapping Turtle. It startles Amanda to a point where she almost breaks a glass herself.
She looks at Moses twice before greeting him.
“Hey, Amanda. I just wanted to let you know that I spoke with Yasmin.” He sits on the nearest stool by the bar and leans a little closer by the taps, so Amanda can hear.
The bar is not too busy at this “early” time, yet enough people are around to hear them.
Amanda drops the slightly dirty and wet towel straight onto the hanger and carefully puts away the glass she almost broke.
“Okay, what did you find out?” Amanda is on her toes. Literally.
“Alright, apparently Max had a family emergency and left for Oregon.” Amanda nods at him. “Which is understandable for her to just drop everything and leave for home. There’s no reason to be angry at her I believe.”
Moses wants to continue but Amanda speaks first:
“But it makes no sense for her to grab all of her stuff in the middle of the night and ignore everyone’s calls for days. A day I get…multiple days I don’t. She hasn’t posted anything in days and this is Max we’re talking about.” Okay, maybe Amanda is a little pissed.
Moses continues.
“That’s not even the strange part. Max’s family doesn’t live in Oregon. They live in Seattle.” Amanda swings back from the bar as if she tried to avoid someone swinging a punch at her.
“Wha-? Wait, what? So why is she in Oregon?” Amanda leans back into Moses who simply shrugs his shoulders.
“I don’t know. Max never really talked about her past. But she once said she wasn’t going home for the Semester because of how far away Seattle is.” Amanda tries to make the calculations as Moses gestures with his hands.
Amanda stands back, arms locked in front of her as she shakes her head.
“Seattle is on the other side of the country.”
“Exactly. And so is Oregon. It could just be a mix up but…with everything going on recently? I think Max messed up in the letter.” Moses speaks quietly and leans back himself.
“Another mystery? For fucks sake, there is enough of this corny shit already happening.”
As Moses and Amanda continue to figure this out, another face joins the two. It’s Vinh.
“Amanda, can I get something strong?” He kind of interrupts but also kind of waits for the pair to acknowledge him.
“Vinh, sure. It will only be a sec.” She moves through the bar like it’s her own house. She knows this place like the back of her hand, every movement, every thought has been perfected through years of hard work.
She quickly and professionally mixes Vinh a strong Firestarter. She smiles as she slides it in his direction.
“Enjoy your drink and please don’t mope directly in front of the bar. It scares the customers.” She points towards the back of the bar. “Moping area is over there.”
Vinh gives her an annoyed stare as he takes a sip of his drink. He vinces just a tiny bit before smiling back at her.
“I don’t mope in public, Amanda. You wish you could see my beautiful tears but you won’t. Sucks to be you right now.” Amanda does not care in the slightest so she just shrugs.
“What’s gotten you in such a great mood today?” Her sarcasm is really beautiful sometimes.
Vinh smiles as he swallows his sip loudly.
“Just Yasmin being back. Alcohol really does help with stress, you know?” At the mention of Yasmin Amanda suddenly has a smart idea. She could ask Vinh about Max. Maybe he saw her talk to Yasmin?
Maybe she can figure out how she looked like that day, was she sad? In a hurry?
“It does its job well, yeah.” She agrees while thinking on how to broach the subject. Vinh takes another happy sip.
“Oh and…I don’t know what I did to Max but holy shit, if looks could kill. I’d be a dead fucking man.” Amanda stares at Vinh.
“What do you mean?”
Vinh takes a giant last sip, almost emptying his glass. Moses and Amanda watch him do so while his alcohol intake skyrockets. He sighs and closes his eyes before opening them and glancing between Moses and Amanda.
“Has she not stared you down yet? I mean, don’t get me wrong, hot women looking at me is quite the compliment but that look in her eyes? Uh, it meant death!” Vinh nods his head along to his own story.
Amanda and Moses are still not quite following so Moses completes Amanda’s thoughts as he asks: “Where did she stare you down?”
“Outside the FAB building, of course. She was speaking with a student or whatever and as soon as she saw me we locked eyes and- I was scared, Moses. Did you know your best friend was so evil on the inside? Vinh scoffs.
“Kind and nerdy Max. Who would have thought?”
Amanda shakes her head in disbelief as she glances in Moses’ direction. Vinh is finishing his drink and asks Amanda for another. She gladly makes him one more and shares frequent looks with Moses.
When Vinh visits the toilet a while later after complaining about “choosing between peeing and drinking is such a hard choice”, Amanda swings her body over to where Moses is still sitting.
She leans on the kitchen sink. “I thought Max was in Oregon? How the hell did she get back here so quickly?” She asks.
Moses is typing swiftly on his phone before turning the bright screen of the device to Amanda so she could see. He had his maps-app open.
“Look, Vermont and Oregon are 45 hours apart. Unless Max booked a flight for the next day and got on the plane the same morning- it’s unlikely she’s back. She either never left or Vinh’s memory is unreliable.” Moses states.
All Amanda can do is stare at that map, that blue lines separating a continent. That’s where Max went? Why would she move so far away from Seattle? Across the country to what? Escape? Run away?
The questions in Amanda’s mind don’t become less, they multiply. Why here? Why now? And why Max? What is she running from? Would she run again?
“You really think you know someone but you really don’t, huh.” Their eyes meet for a split second before Moses turns his phone around and locks it.
“Max had a good reason for moving this far away. She hasn’t spoken about it with me, not really. Just mentioned bits and pieces. But, trust me when I tell you that everything she said and did here? Was genuine.”
Amanda chews on her lower lip a little too hard and it almost draw blood. Moses’ words ring true in her head but she still wonders:
Who is Max Caulfield really?
“Maybe you’re right, I don’t know. This is all so fucked up.” Amanda sighs. “If she’s back on campus maybe she’ll visit and I’ll just- ask her. Check in and chat.”
“That sounds like a great idea. I know Max appreciates you. Because with you, she doesn’t have to hide who she really is. And that’s something she can’t do with everyone.” Moses smiles.
Despite learning about Max’s abilities and knowing she still has a load of secrets, Amanda knows she doesn’t want to give up on her.
There’s something about Max. About her goofy personality, her nerdiness, her strong empathy and kindness, the need to always help and be there. But also how cute she looks when she is flirting or how hot she can be.
Exploring abandoned buildings, breaking and entering she guesses, being on the run, alone. That’s strength. Coming here, starting over. Quickly making friends. Being open to people but never sharing a bit about yourself.
Max is reserved. She is kind. She is like a fresh breath of air after being stuck in a volcano. Max is what Amanda wants.
So she won’t give up on her.
--
A sharp humming sound wakes Max. Her body is still collapsed on the floor, her elbows hurt and her head feels like it’s going to explode any second.
Warm liquid is still running down her nose- no- head- no—
There’s just pain, just this, this hurt.
Slow and steady Max gathers her last strength, muscles burning with every inch of movement as she sits down and holds her head in her hands.
There’s blood for sure, somewhere, everywhere. Her hands are bloody, her face is bloody, the ground is bloody. What the fuck happened?
Instantly Max curls in on herself, hands flying to her head as she tries to apply pressure. She yells, tries to keep it together but there’s so much pain inside her and she can’t get it out.
“STOOOPP!”
Quiet.
Max breathes, removes her hands from her head and looks around. She’s definitely in some kind of hallway, but it’s not Blackwell or Caledon. Gently Max wipes her bloodied hands on her green coat, trying to get them somewhat cleaner.
She can feel the blood coming out of her nose, it’s slowly getting less. She swipes at it a bunch of times and it works.
Moving any muscles just hurts. While she can’t move right now Max tries to remember. Where was she before? How did she end up exactly here and where is here?
“I was at Blackwell Academy, close to the gym. I remember- fuck- I was- I head voices. I heard Chloe and myself from so many years ago. That’s…impossible.” Her breathing increases slightly. “I tried to find the source and then I ended up…here.”
Max looks around then, but all she can see is a slightly blue hallway. Definitely a school, but none she ever visited herself. Not that she recalls at least.
“Where am I?” her words are hollow and the surroundings stale. It’s cold her, she can feel that. Her breath is visible and the only lights source is a small little window behind where she is currently sitting.
Her muscles still scream at her, making any movement painful. “What did I do?” She asks nothing.
“This is way worse than being stuck with thousands of evil plushies in an old bowling alley.” Max tries to lift her own spirits. She has done this before.
“As long as there is no Jefferson here- I will be okay.” Even to Max those words sound empty. But she has to keep going. She has to go back somehow.
After a few minutes of breathing exercises Max pushes herself through immense pain onto her feet. She stands for the first time in what feels like years.
For a second her legs give out, she almost collapses straight back onto the cold floor. But she manages to catch herself in time, stumbles forward and crashes shoulder first into a metal locker. The locker looks a lot like the ones she used to have. Blue, stale and harsh. But…they also don’t.
It does look like Blackwell Academy but it’s so damn different. Everything matches but at the same time, it looks off. Max keeps stumbling from locker to locker, trying to find a door, a way out, a sign, anything to know where exactly she is.
The harsh metal is taking its toll on Max’s coat, scratching the fiber and bumping against her shoulder. Her shoulders now hurt even more. But she has to keep going. She can’t give in, not now.
Max feels like she has been walking for hours, the lockers never ending. She can’t see far ahead, only a small light source. It’s not the window she was stuck with earlier, it looks more artificial.
While hauling herself past stale white walls Max occasionally notices polaroids hanging opposite her. She can’t quite make some of them out but she swears they look familiar. The further she gets, the more forgotten memories she walks past.
Pictures she had taken, lifetimes ago. Chloe giving the camera the middle finger as she dances around her room, worry-free, ready to get out into the world. A dream denied by the universe. Max went back and fixed it.
Joyce, putting on her best smile in her diner-uniform, caring and loving for Max just like she did for Chloe. Getting them their favorite food, calling them out when they dragged mud from the garden into the kitchen. A kind and wise woman, broken, killed. Max could have fixed it.
But she didn’t.
She makes out Victoria, white paint splashes on and near her. She remembers using her powers perfectly after gaining them to cause mischief. “For good causes” she remembers telling herself.
Victoria is now closer to Chloe than she is.
There are multiple pictures of Kate. One of her looking out a window during class, writing something on a thin piece of paper. The other, a grave.
Max stopped her. Kate deserves to live.
A few polaroids of Warren fly past her. She can’t make them out.
No matter how far Max drags her broken body, the weird light won’t get any closer. So she stops. Crashes down the locker, all energy gone. She wasted the last chance she had gotten.
Is this what Arcadia Bay wanted her to see? Endless suffering? For what she had done? All the lives she had taken? The suffering she caused reflected back onto her?
Maybe, Max thinks,
she deserves this.
She messed with time so often, for her own gain or those of others. Now safe; saving her, letting someone mess around with their powers. She could have prevented it but she didn’t.
Because Safi is her friend and she can’t let another friend die because of a choice she had to make.
Max smiles to herself, on the ground, bloody. Her nose is bleeding- or maybe it isn’t. She can’t tell anymore. Her breathing becomes slow, her eyelids heavy. Her head stop hurting. Every inch of her body feels like dead weight. It’s so, so cold suddenly.
With one last effort, one last splitter of hope, her arm stretches forward, her finger barely separating as she concentrates one last time. Her eyes flutter open, barely, she can’t make out anything, just a blue blur.
For one last time, Max tries to rewind.