Chapter Text
“Mommy, Daddy! Help! Help! Please!” he cried desperately. He was scared and alone. He wondered deep into the forest, and he fell into a pit. He was sure, that he won’t be able to climb out on his own. He was only six after all.
“Why don’t you come out by yourself? You didn’t even try.” a mocking voice said from above.
“Who is it? Who is there?” he asked in terror, looking around. A small boy around his age stepped forward from the edge and looked straight down to him. He had chocolate brown eyes and messy brown hair. He was grinning at him playfully.
“Pull yourself together, Greenie. Crying won’t solve a thing. This forest is new to you, but you’ll learn your way around. I’ll show you the beautiful lake not far away, if you come out.”
“Do you live here?” he asked with a small sniff.
“Kind of.” answered the boy, avoiding his eyes.
“We just moved here with Mummy and Daddy. I want to get back to them.” he sobbed.
“I’ll help you. Just hold my hand and I’ll pull you up.”
He managed to climb out with the help of the boy. The brunet seemed extremely strong for his age. Newt felt curious “Wow, how did you do that?” he asked in awe. “You pulled me out without a problem.”
The brown haired boy just smiled. “Let it be my secret, Greenie.”
“My name is Newt, not Greenie.” he said with a pout. “What’s yours?”
“It’s Thomas.” the boy offered.
***
“Come on Tommy, show me, show me!” he cried excitedly. He was standing from one leg to another impatiently.
“Slim it, I’m not ready yet.” Silence, then…”Ok, you can look now.
When he opened his eyes his mouth fell open. Thomas was holding a ball of fire between his hands.
“Awesome! How can you do that?” Newt asked in awe.
“Well, as you know I have a secret. And I decided to tell you, and only you.”
“Why?” the blonde boy pressed.
“Because you’re my best friend.” said Tommy plainly. “Hope you’ll not freak out. Ready?”
Newt only nodded.
“Ok, so I’m not human. I’m a demon.” he rushed the words out. “Happy Birthday, Greenie!” he said, showing seven flaming fingers up.” His face fell, when Newt only gaped at him. “Do you hate me now?” the brunet whispered.
“Are you dangerous?” Newt whispered back.
Thomas considered the question. “Yup.” he blurted out finally.
“Do you do bad things with your powers?” Newt asked, still whispering.
“Not really.” was the answer.
“Then why would I hate you? You’re my best friend as well. I like you.” Newt said with a grin, hugging Tommy tightly.
***
“Why did you hurt those boys Tommy?” Newt accused his friend.
“Because they said nasty things to Chuck and you.” Thomas shrugged. “Come on, Greenie, I didn’t even used my powers, don’t get so worked up.”
“It’s still not right. Just because they insult me and my little brother, you don’t have to beat them to mashed potato. I can defend myself. And you’re better than that.” Newt debated.
“No, I’m not.” said the demon at once.
“Yes, you are Tommy. I know it and you know it as well.” said the blonde. “So promise me you won’t do something like this again. Ask and try to talk, before you hit.”
“Ok, ok.” the brunet pouted. ”I promise.”
---
He turned sixteen and they had a big birthday party. Everyone was there, but Newt dearly missed Tommy. He didn’t show himself all day and he started to get anxious. Day turned to night, but he couldn’t go to sleep. Something must have happened. He decided to go out to the forest by the lake. That was their favourite secret place. Even Chuck didn’t know about it. He felt a wave of relief when he saw him sitting at the shore, throwing rocks to the water.
“There you are. I was waiting for you to show your sorry face all…” he stopped dead, when he saw that his friend was crying. “Tommy.”
“Go away Newt.” Thomas said with a sniff, covering his face. He rarely used his real name, something serious has happened.
“Don’t be a jerk. I’m not going anywhere.” The blonde sat down by the lake, his shoulder touching to Thomas’s. He bumped it lightly. “Spill it.”
“I received an assignment today. My first real one.” his friend sobbed. “It wasn’t like the things I did before. Fooling around humans and make them do and confess silly things is fun. That one…wasn’t. My Lord wants to use me as a warrior, because of my powers. I was born as a demon, as you know, so I’m more powerful than most of them.”
“Where did he send you?” Newt asked quietly.
“To a hiding place of Hunters. They were wild, causing a lot of trouble, killing a lot of innocents, demons and humans as well. We had to finish their lives. I know they deserved it in a way, but still… Slaughtering them like they were animals…” his voice broke.
Newt wrapped his arms around his crying friend, but the brunet tried to shrug them away. “Don’t you understand? I’m dark and vicious. I’m a murderer. You should stay away from me.”
“You are a demon, who has responsibilities. Feeling guilty makes you well…sort of human. But you can’t blame yourself. Your duty is to protect everyone from the dark.” said Newt in a calming tone. “And you have to do nasty things sometimes. But I know you have a good heart.”
“You make it sound easy. You make me feel like a have a soul. You have so much faith in me. Why?” asked the brunet, looking at Newt with teary eyes.
“Because you are my best friend and I know you better than I know myself. You are not evil Tommy.”
“Thank you Greenie.” whispered the demon, burying his face into Newt’s shirt, hugging him close. The calming scent of burnt sandalwood surrounded him, and Newt tried hard not to pay attention to the butterflies in his stomach.
---
“What are you doing?” Tommy was looking at him with huge eyes, that were only inches away from him.
“Ummm, kissing you? Did it feel like something else?” he said with a smirk.
“Why are you kissing me of all people?” Tommy was still in shock.
“I don’t know dummy. Maybe because you told me that I can have anything for my seventeenth birthday. Well…that’s what I chose.” he said with confidence. He had a crush on his best friend for years, but until now he never acted on it. But he was a bit drunk, sitting next to Tommy by their lake, and the demon told him he could have anything. He wanted that kiss more than anything in the world.
“You can’t really choose me.” said his friend in a sad tone. “It’s not right. You’re kind, and soft-hearted and…beautiful. You deserve so much better.”
“I only live once Tommy. And I know I can’t be happy with anyone else. You know I’ve tried.” he said, trying desperately to convince his friend.
“Try harder then.” demanded Thomas angrily, trying to push Newt away.
“You don’t like me.” he said. Pain gripped his heart and he let Tommy put some distance between them.
“Of course I do.” whispered the brunet. “I love you. More than anything.”
“Then show me. Only once. Please!” he pleaded shamelessly, because he knew he could trust his friend. Strong hands gripped his arms, pulling him closer, burying themselves in his hair. Firm lips pressed to his soft ones, claiming his mouth hungrily. Thomas’s tongue caressed his lower lip looking for entrance. Their tongues danced together and it was perfect and wonderful. He never wanted it to end. When he had to come up for air, he looked into his friends eyes. “Please Tommy, give it a go. I know it can work, because I love you too. Please.” he said again, trying to break through Thomas’s stubbornness.
“You know I could never say no to you, not since you were six.” Thomas said with a sad smile, kissing Newt’s forehead and then his lips again.
---
Making love to his Tommy by the lake was always wonderful. He was humming cheerfully while he headed home. Thomas was called away, because they needed him for an assignment, but he will see his lover tomorrow and he was happy for it in advance. His thoughts came to a halt, when he smelled the smoke. Then he saw strange lights dancing on the sky. He broke to a run. Panic attacked him and adrenaline rushed through his system. The house, their family house was in flames.
“Mum, Dad, Chuck!” he shouted, his eyes watering from the thick smoke.
“Newt! Thank God, you’re safe.” shrieked his mother.
“Where is Chuck?” the blonde shouted, looking at his parents.
“We tried to go back to him, but we couldn’t.” sobbed his father.
“No! No, Chuck!” Newt didn’t think. Before his parents could grab him he ran forward, straight into the house, shielding his face with his shirt. “Chuck, Chuck, where are you?” The flames were hot and the smoke was thick. He couldn’t see his brother anywhere. Lack of oxygen fogged his thoughts, his lungs were screaming for mercy. He fell on his knees and passed out.
Light and warmth. He felt like he was flying. He opened his eyes carefully, but he couldn’t see anything, he could only hear sounds around him. “Am I dead?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yes, and no.” a low and calming voice came. “You were willing to sacrifice yourself for your brother. Such a noble and selfless act is rare and wonderful. Your human body is dead, but Heaven claimed your soul and, when you wake up again, you’ll be one of us. An angel.”
“What happened to my brother?” he asked worriedly. “Is he safe?”
“He was the one who caused the fire, when he tried to summon a demon. Darkness claimed his soul.” said the voice painfully. “Don’t worry. When you wake up, your new life will begin and you’ll leave your old self and your memories completely behind.”
His brain started to go blank again and before he went back to oblivion he only had one last thought. “Tommy.”
***
Newt woke up with a start, panting heavily. He remembered, he knew, he finally understood. That’s why everything felt so familiar with Thomas from the first moment he met him in that damned house. That was the reason behind the demon’s painful looks and his attempts to chase him away. Because they had a past together. They belonged to each other a long time ago. How could he forget about him? He loved him with all his heart.
“Are you feeling better?” a tentative voice asked. He looked to the side to see Chuck, sitting next to him on the floor. Gally was right behind him, looking at the demon’s every move intently. They were still at the club. The Heavenly Army arrived with Gabriel’s leading, settling things, investigating the case.
“You might not know who the Hell I am, but I’m still happy you’re here.” Chuck said sincerely.
“I know, who you are.” Newt replied slowly. “You are my little brother.”
The demon could only gape at him. “You…you lost all your memories when you changed. I caused the fire, although I didn’t want to. I just wanted to have my own demon friend, like you had him. And I’m so sorry, so sorry Newt. When they found me between the flames, their offered me a life amongst them, and I wanted to live so much, I couldn’t say no.”
“You were only eleven, Chuckie. It’s not your fault.” Newt said automatically. He always protected his little brother. His mind tried to warn him for something, but he still wasn’t himself after the vivid memories he saw.
“Thomas was like a brother to me in the last seventy years, raising me, teaching me how to become as good as our kind can be.” his brother said proudly, but then his voice broke. “When we found out about you, we both felt that it’s the best if we stayed away and let you exist peacefully, not disturbed by your past.”
“But he couldn’t stay away from me, just like I couldn’t stay away from him since he saved me that night.” the blonde angel said slowly. New images filled his head suddenly. The Hunter’s kid falling to the ground, the sword heading towards him, Tommy pushing him away…Tommy with the blade sticking out from his chest, falling to the ground.
“Where is he? Where is Thomas?” he asked, trembling. Huge drops of tears fell from Chuck’s sweet brown eyes, falling on the ground. “He…he’s dead brother. The Hunter killed him.”
***
When he stepped into the small separate room the first thing he saw was Minho, sitting with her legs pulled up to his chest, looking at his unmoving friend. Thomas lay on the table lifelessly. His skin was paler than usually and his eyes were closed. Like he was sleeping. Newt couldn’t look at him anymore. He sat down in front of Minho. He too, felt dead inside.
“Did you know the whole truth about us?” the angel asked the demon softly.
“You?” asked the demon like he couldn’t understand.
“I remember everything Minho. Every little piece of my human life. Every tiny detail of my friendship and love with…him.” Newt whispered. Tears started to roll down his face, but he couldn’t bring himself to wipe them away.
“I’m sorry Angel-boy.” the black haired demon said honestly. “You two deserved so much better.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that day by the lake?” the angel accused. “Why?”
“Because Thomas didn’t want to. He wanted you to be happy. He tried to keep you safe.” the demon said in a voice full of sorrow.
“That’s such a joke. Keeping me in the shadows didn’t keep me safe. It drove me insane. I was attracted to him from the moment he saved me and I didn’t know why. I would have deserved to know the truth.” retorted Newt, raising his voice.
“Do you think it was easy for him? Seeing you, talking to you, telling all the stories he already told you and facing the fact that you can’t remember anything. Getting in terms with the fact that he cannot even touch you. How do you think it was for him? He would have given anything for you. Shit, he gave his life for you.” Minho was shouting now, rising from the floor.
The emotions Newt was holding back were emerging to the surface. He couldn’t stop them. A single sob broke from his chest. “Sorry, sorry, I’m such a fool. I just…just.” he could continue.
“Don’t apologise. As hard as it takes me to admit it, I understand. Thomas always told me that we had a lot in common with angels. I didn’t believe him. Until now. The stupid bastard is teaching me even from the grave.” said the demon with a slight smile on his lips.
“Can you visit him down there?” the blonde asked, desperate to find a solution to see his lover again. But his hopes vanished, when he saw the sad look on the demon’s face.
“If a demon is killed, his soul disappears forever. Nothing can bring him back.”
Newt’s control started to slip away. “Can you leave us alone for a few minutes?” he asked desperately, taking deep breaths.
The demon only nodded before he vanished with a puff of smoke.
The angel forced himself to look at the dead man again. He stepped closer, tentatively putting a hand to the brunet’s cold skin, caressing his face. His Tommy was never coming back. And it was all his fault. He didn’t want to hold back the tears anymore. He cried like a child, hugging his lover tightly to his chest. As his control totally slipped away, his wings emerged once again, covering them, protecting them from the truth. His skin was glowing with his inner light, warming the room around them.
“I love you. I love you so much. How could I forget about it? I would do anything to bring you back.” he sobbed. His tears spilled down on Tommy’s face and chest, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t let him go. He didn’t know how much time he spent like that, but he felt his energy leaving his body and his light started to fade. “Please, let me die too.” he whispered to his Lord.
“Pull yourself together, Greenie. Crying won’t solve a thing.” a hoarse voice whispered. Newt slowly opened his eyes, terrified, that he just imagined things. But light brown eyes met his darker ones. “Tommy.”
“You remember me.” It wasn’t a question. The demon’s eyes were sparkling.
“You’re alive.” the angel cried in joy, kissing Thomas’s lips out of instinct. The demon kissed back immediately, burying his fingers in the angel’s soft blonde hair. The kiss was desperate, but it didn’t last long. Thomas froze, pushing Newt away slowly. He ran a hand on the blonde’s face in awe.
“I can touch you. You’re not burning my skin.” he said caressing the angel’s cheek like it was the most precious thing in the universe. “How is that possible?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even know how you can be alive. You were dead.” Newt whispered.
Thomas sat up flinging his legs off the table on either side of the angel’s body. Newt touched the demon’s chest with his fingers, examining the place where the blade went through. “It’s completely gone.” He felt the brunet’s breathing hitch and his heart was racing uncontrollably under his fingers. He locked eyes with the demon and held his gaze, until Thomas looked away with red cheeks.
“Sorry. It’ so embarrassing. It’ just…I thought I could never kiss you again. And that you’ll never touch me.” He looked down on his palms, like they were the most interesting things on Earth.
The angel had so many emotions in his head that he could barely hold himself together. Too many things happened at once. He only knew one thing for certain. He loved Thomas. And he needed to show it to him. So he stepped closer and wrapped his arms and wings around the demon. Thomas’ arms came around his neck instantly, putting their foreheads together like he did so many times in the past.
“Do you really think that I’m in a better condition?” Newt asked. “I lost you, without remembering anything and when I finally did, I thought that you were gone forever. I loved you more than anything back then and I fell in love with you as an angel again. I don’t know what happened, but to be honest, I don’t even care, until you are with me.”
“But an awful lot of things changed. You’re an angel now. Pure and innocent. I deserve you even less, than I did back then.” mumbled Thomas.
“Yes, you do. Just as I deserve you. And I think our Lords realised that, that’s why they gave us the opportunity for a fresh start.” the angel said, caressing his Tommy’s face with his thumb.
“I’m scared, Greenie. I was watching you for more than seventy years. And I never stopped loving you, not for a second. I’m too afraid to believe this is true.” The brunet’s eyes were teary and his voice was strangled.
Newt leaned forward and pecked the demons lips again and again. “Then I’ll keep kissing you, until you do.” he said. “I know that we’ll have to answer a lot of questions, once we step out of here, but I’d like forget about that for a few minutes and only focus on us.”
“And they tell angels are selfless.” smirked Thomas, before he captured Newt’s lips hungrily.