Chapter Text
Kinn had a hard time not looking at Kim…
He was so lively, he was so himself, a bit calmer and way still tired but he was none of that oblivious mess he had last seen and it was so soothing, it was so comforting to see him… to see him human again…
He was laughing at Tankhun’s antics, hand in Chay’s… looking from time to time at him, his voice a bit shaky but he was getting there, Porsche was sitting on Kinn’s side… looking at both their brothers with a clear pleasant smile on his face…
“What was going on with you guys then?”
Tankhun’s smile froze on his face… He had dared to look at Arm and Pol who were just outside the door, He knew if that conversation were to start he would need them both to be present in the room with him.
Kinn took a deep breath, and neither Porsche nor Tankhun had managed to stop him before he spoke.
“Kim… We… We don’t want you to worry about Father anymore”
Kim tensed and Chay tightened his hand in his, his other hand patting at Kim’s thigh steadily. His eyes held fire as he stared at Kinn.
“He will no longer ever hurt us again, he will never hurt you again, I promise you…”
Kinn wanted to reach out to soothe Kim, the way he had seen Tankhun do… the way he had seen Chay do… but Kinn had failed through and through in that… He was part of the reason why Kim had landed in that situation, to begin with.
“He will never be in our lives again, Kim… He would never be able to touch you again… I won’t allow him”
Kinn had expected an uproar of anger, flaming hot anger, and brutality of his brother to resurface again, he definitely didn’t expect his youngest brother to crumble into heart-wracking tears, to watch as Chay pulled him into his arms, to cover him from all of them…
Porsche had his arm on Kinn’s shoulder… offering silent encouragement… While Tankhun had a steady stream of tears down his face…
Chay had that stern look about him that told them that none of them were welcome around until Kim had calmed down enough again, or ever…
Porsche pulled both Tankhun and Kinn outside the room… before Chay could shoot fire from his eyes…
-----
Kim had expected the topic of their father to be mentioned, but between Kinn saying what he said and meaning it… the entire display of love and protection felt like it had shot the last wall Kim had had that protected him… and he couldn’t help but crumble into all the emotions he had been running away from his entire life…
He didn’t know anything but pain, pain shot through his system, pain, panic, and bent up anger and fear… and those all needed a way out in his delicate state, so he wailed his pain out, cried out in a way he never did…
He didn’t know - or care - about where he was or who was with him, he was beyond that, they had seen him unresponsive and pretty much brain dead, it wouldn’t hurt anyone if he lost control of his emotions now… and Chay was there, Chay was safe and was going to keep him safe…
All he knew after that was Chay’s arms, Chay’s chest, Chay’s smell… and that was all he needed to sink even further into his pain, it felt cathartic like some sort of pus was clearing out of his system… time slipped away from him… he couldn’t stop crying even if he wanted, the more he tried to get his emotions under control the more he lost control of them…
But he could feel the endless bit of sadness and pain drying out steadily, He could feel like someone had scrubbed his heart clean of everything, when his tears seized, he slumped into Chay’s arms, tired even more than he already was, and weaker than he ever felt in his entire life…
“Here you are… Are you with me?”
Kim nodded against Chay’s neck, He didn’t want to speak, didn’t think he would have the ability to do so even if he wanted, his throat felt raw, his chest ached, and his head was heavy and filled with cotton.
“Let me get you to bed, You need to rest a bit…”
Chay maneuvered Kim to the bed and tucked both of them under the blankets, his arm came around Kim’s body as he rested Kim’s head on his chest, on his heart…
“Rest, Love”
and Kim didn’t even have the energy to nod, slipping asleep soothed by Chay’s steady heartbeat.
-----
Kinn didn’t know what to do with himself…
He could hear the wailing that came from Kim’s room, He could hear his brother crying his heart out in pain about things he knew and others he didn’t know about, and it hurt, it burned and tore his heart to pieces.
Tankhun was crying silently, leaning on the wall… Arm was patting his arm softly, he looked pained, and Kinn didn’t know if it was from the wailing he could hear, from the tears on Tankhun’s cheeks, or from the injuries he was sure he still hurting from.
Porsche looked like he wanted to open his arms and wrap them around Kinn, but kept his distance when Kinn shook his heart, he didn’t deserve to be comforted… Not after he had hurt his brother like that once again.
“Let’s give them some privacy and sit outside…”
Porsche ushered all of them to the garden, all of them were seated there, even Arm… who pushed his chair closer to Tankhun’s and kept patting his arm, whispering to him softly in a voice Kinn couldn’t hear.
“I… I didn’t expect that… not from what all you told me about him…”
Porsche said in a low voice, it was like an afterthought…
Tankhun shook his head in dismay…
“He is already in a bad place mentally, his stamina and control were destroyed by all that had happened, We should have taken that into account, the news must have taken him by surprise, He… He…”
Tankhun’s voice broke on the last word and Kinn knew what he was going to say, What he meant to say, was Kim didn’t expect them to come to his aid, even their father didn’t expect them to come to his aid, he was counting on the fact that the raft between the brothers was just too wide when he did that to Kim, he counted on the fact that Kim could and would be forgotten, that it would be too late by the time they realized that something was a mess.
“He will be ok, Crying is good, crying means he is healing… right?”
Kinn nodded absent-mindedly… He didn’t think that crying was going to heal his brother, didn’t think that anything other than them bonding, starting from scratch would do… it wasn’t going to do anyone any good that all of them remain as far from each other as they were…
He must have said some of that aloud because Porsche answered him softly
“Chay wouldn’t allow him to get hurt again…”
and that was what Kinn feared the most now… Angry Chay…
-----
Kim slept so fast, Chay was tempted to smile…
He knew that since the situation was so drastic something equally drastic would happen once Kim knew, he knew that the wails and cries were the tip of the iceberg but he was happy he got a chance to do it, that he felt safe enough to do it…
But he was still angry at them… them being Kinn and Tankhun and lastly his own elder brother, they shouldn’t have thrown the truth on Kim like that, they shouldn’t have just done that when they didn’t know how delicate his situation was…
Chay untangled himself from around Kim and breathed a sigh of relief when he barely steered, He needed his rest, needed to sleep and heal…
And Chay had people to pour his anger on…
He walked out of the room, found them all huddling together in the garden, and stormed there, He could see his own brother had preserved him, standing up before Kinn also took notice of him and stood alarmed.
“Is he ok? Do you need anything? Can We see him?”
“The answer to all three of those is No, No, NO! He is asleep, drained dry… How could you throw that news in his face like that?! What did you know about his condition to compromise him like that?! Do you know how hard it has been for the past few days?! What if he relapsed because of that?! What if it’s a hundred steps back instead of a step forward?”
Chay could see Tankhun blanch from the corner of his eye… He also could see Arm in bandages… he didn’t have the time to ask what had happened to him, he was still angry, he was still upset, and worried…
“What do you mean he could relapse?”
“P’Kinn… He just got better, he just responded to us, it was too early, and now he is too tired and too drained and I have no idea how he will be once he is awake and alert…”
Chay pointed his finger threateningly at Kinn…
“What did you expect him to do? Clap his hands for you for protecting your younglings, is this the kind of protection you offer my brother and your brothers as well? Is there some kind of scoreboard for you?”
Chay could see Kinn flinch visibly and his other hand coming up to cover his injured arm, He could see his own brother shocked with his mouth wide open…
“Chay!”
“No, Ha!, Just no, You weren’t here… you didn’t see how hard it was, you didn’t feel that despair that he would be like mother, that I would lose him forever… like I lost her.”
Chay’s eyes filled with tears, his fears acknowledged and felt for the first time since Kim woke up, fear that he would be a shadow of his former self, fear that no matter how hard Chay tried he would never be able to get him back fully.
Porsche moved to try to pull him into his arms, but Chay snaked his way out of it.
Kinn sat back down, his breath heavy and he was swallowing hard repeatedly.
Chay turned his back on them and went back to Kim’s room… closed the door, tucked himself against Kim’s warmth, and dropped asleep in minutes, if he had allowed few tears to escape his eyes, it was no one’s business.
---
Kim felt a presence before opened his eyes, someone was in bed with him - that was probably Chay, he smelled like Chay - but someone was sitting near the bed as well…
He opened his eyes cautiously to find Kinn sitting there, staring at the fingers of his right hand…
“Hey, What are you doing here?”
Kinn jerked his head up, eyes shifting between his own brother and Chay, before settling on Kim, who moved off the bed to sit on the edge of it, facing Kinn and shielding Chay from his gaze.
“How… How are you feeling?”
Kim thought about the answer to that for a bit before he just nodded, he was tired, and so drained of all emotions, good and bad…
Kinn reached out with his right hand and clasped Kim’s hand in his
“I am so sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am…”
“You have nothing.. to be sorry for…”
“I have plenty… plenty… starting with springing the news on you today, and ending with the fact that I failed to protect you through and through… Chay had made it crystal clear that it was an irresponsible behavior to do that without considering your mental state…”
Kim looked at Chay’s sleeping form fondly before shifting back to Kinn, but he remained silent, he didn’t know that side of Kinn, he didn’t know that side of his brother who could apologize for his shortcomings, and he didn’t know how to deal with that person.
Kinn must have picked up on his wariness, because he shifted back, and hesitated for a moment before he relayed all that had happened since Kim disappeared, not in a detailed way, but he wanted him to know that he was missed, that they loved him, they worried about him, it wasn’t just Tankhun who did, but Kinn too even if he sucked at it…
Kim stared at Kinn calmly for a second before ordering Kinn
“Show me your arm…”
Kinn had already taken his suit jacket off so he began to unbutton his own shirt when Kim asked, before lowering the sleeve on the injured arm, Kim could see the drops of blood tainting the bandages.
“You need to rest and eat properly for that to heal, what are you doing here anyway?”
Kinn chuckled softly as he tried to button his shirt back with one hand, Kim moved off bed to help him with that, and it had been the closest he had been to Kinn in years without them being up to each other’s throats.
Kinn looked at him fondly, as Kim buttoned up his brother’s shirt… he was shaky for the most part but very adamant…
“Here, Done…”
Kinn couldn’t resist pulling his brother in with his good arm, Kim hesitated for a minute too long, stiffening slightly before he relaxed and wrapped his arms around Kinn when he heard how wet and teary his breath was.
—
It was decided that Kim could be dismissed from medical care and return slowly back to his own life, minus Korn…
That day after he had talked with Kinn, Chay had woken up to them hugging, and something in his heart fluttered, he always wanted Kim to have people around him, he always wanted to give him and his brothers something similar to what he and his hia had…
He acted as if he didn’t wake up, letting them have their moment of tenderness…
He heard Kinn sniffle a bit before he let Kim go…
“I will go tell Tankhun that you are ok, We will be here for the rest of the day, so rest a bit and we all could have a meal together later…”
“ok…”
Chay could see from the corner of his semi-opened eyes that Kinn had dropped a kiss in Kim’s hair before shuffling out of the room, Kim went back to bed, and reached out to Chay, dropping a kiss on his cheek…
“I know you are awake…”
Chay cracked open one eye, before He smiled shyly at Kim, burrowing closer to him so now both of them were whispering between themselves.
“I didn’t want him to hurt you again…”
“I know, Love… I am so thankful for you that you gave him a proper dressing down… you scared him shitless…”
Kim chuckled softly, looking at Chay with stars in his eyes… Chay leaned in and kissed his eyelids softly, the bang in his heart still there, he could have lost those twinkly eyes…
“I have to protect you… I love you so much that it hurt when you were down, that every tear from your eyes cut me deeper than I have ever felt…”
Kim hummed, nuzzling Chay’s neck and kissing him soothingly…
“He is going to change… a lot, for you, for Hia, and most likely because your father is gone now…”
“We shall see about that, now let’s rest a bit before we get crowded by them again…”
Chay leaned in and kissed Kim heatedly before both of them settled down and fell asleep…
The Dinner later was a circus, they all tried to speak to each other, Tankhun and Porsche being the loudest of the bunch, Arm and Pol were sitting with them at the table…
Tankhun had reached out several times to either pat his brother or to turn his head toward him to tell him something or another, Kim had smiled at some of those, he knew part of the reason Tankhun did that was that he wanted to see him respond, to see him answer him, Kim guessed that it must have hurt him when he saw how Kim was before…
Chay was distracted by his brother as well, Kinn had opted to try to remain away from the conversation, he sneaked looks at his brother and tried to avoid Chay’s eyes, Chay had a hand wrapped around one of Kim’s under the table, but it was now resting on Kim’s thigh while Kim was moving his finger across the back of Chay’s hand.
“How is your arm, P’Kinn? Do we need to send for the doctor to check it?”
Chay asked loudly, and The entire table went silent at that, Kim continued his soft caressing of the back of his hand, looking at him with a soft smile… He knew Chay and He knew Chay wasn’t the kind to remain angry or bitter…
“I… I am fine, Nong, I will have my antibiotics later…”
“Good, Don’t forget those… and make sure to ask Hia for help if you need any, don’t try to do everything on your own… you have a family here for you…”
Tankhun chuckled loudly, Porsche looked between his own brother and his own partner, torn between stopping one or aiding the other…
“I… I promise I will, Nong…”
“And, P’Kinn?”
“Yes, Nong…”
“Hia loves you to the moon and back, and so do your brothers… things might have not been ideal with you and your family, but it had never been ideal with mine as well…”
Kinn and the rest of them could understand the underlying meaning… You have to return that love, you have to protect that love…
Kinn dared to smile at Chay for the first time since this entire situation began, and Chay returned it with one of his own…
Later the doctor declared that it would be better for Kim to start being in his familiar environment, which resulted in another discussion where Chay had to shout over everyone when they tried to get Kim to go back to the compound…
“We are definitely going back to the apartment, and that is that…”
Tankhun tried to talk Chay out of it, stating that he too needed to spend time with his own brother and that Chay couldn’t hoard Kim all to himself
“I seriously can and will, that place is ridden with bad memories and I don’t want to expose P’Kim to any of that, we need a safe space…”
Chay leaned in and whispered something in Tankhun’s ear, and he blushed so hard, Kim almost choked out laughter…
Laughter that made everything around all of them a lot brighter…
-----
“What did you tell him that got him so red?”
Kim asked Chay as both of them were collecting their belongings around the room, Chay moved and pushed Kim to sit on the bed, asking him to take it slow…
“We don’t have much to pack anyway, you still should take it easy…”
Kim compiled… before looking at Chay with the widest puppy eyes he could master… Chay sighed before telling him.
“Alright, Alright, He… He has a cute little crush on P’Arm and P’Pol and both of them seemed to be returning it, from what I understand P’Khun was beside himself with worry when P’Arm got injured…”
“It’s about time he feels something other than panic and fear…”
“Seconded, and they are good for him…”
Kim looked at Chay, calling out to him and opening his arms to him, Chay moved in a second and hugged Kim without hesitation…
“My Light in the dark, My shelter in the storm…”
Chay tightened his arms around him…
“My Safety in danger, My melody, My muse…”
Chay chuckled softly, dropping a kiss on Kim’s lips before pushing him to bed… and straddling his waist. And if the packing was forgotten and the night turned into something heated and messy, they wouldn’t both admit it…
-----
The next day, Chay stood in the sun along with Kim, as they watched the staff empty the place and clear out all the equipment that was in it before Chay reached to Kim to hold his hand.
“Ready to go home?”
Kim took his hand and pulled him to his side…
“You are my home, and my home is where you are, Love…”
and they both walked out of the residence, hand in hand.
-----
The party was unexpected but welcome nonetheless.
Tankhun wanted a celebration, needed a celebration, the house was simply decorated, the cake was one of Kim’s favorites, and it was a real calm affair…
They laughed, shared a meal, and welcomed their brother back into his house… till Kinn raised his glass in a toast…
“To Kimhant… Wik…”
Kim dropped a kiss on Chay’s cheek before raising his glass in return…
“To us…”
-----
6 months later…
Chay unlocked the door to his and Kim’s apartment, he could hear Kim playing the guitar inside…
He put his bag by the door and took off his shoes before padding softly to the living room. Kim was lying down on the sofa, stringing the guitar aimlessly…
He had been hard at work on his album for a bit now, ever since they came back home, Kim had taken to try to get his nerves under control, to play the guitar or the piano without his hand shaking, without the sounds and the notes overwhelming him… Chay spent many nights by his side playing with him patiently, giving him the courage to keep playing, encouraging him to not lose hope…
Some of those nights were spent with both of them dancing with each other, Chay giggling softly as Kim twirled him around… both of them were high on love and happy with the little haven they had managed to make for themselves.
“How is writing coming along?”
Chay said in a way of greeting as he took the guitar from Kim’s hands before cuddling closer to him on the sofa, Kim had taken to being tactile… he needed to touch Chay as long as Chay was close, needed to have him in his arms… needed to smell him and be comforted with his presence…
“I wrote two songs and sent them to the agent, they are excited about it… said that the cover I made for Trainwreck is taking the internet by storm…”
And that was the other thing, Chay had woken up one day to find Kim stringing something on the guitar, He had brightened up once he had seen Chay awake, sat him down, opened his camera, and sang James Aruther’s Trainwreck…
He had so many emotions in his eyes that it brought tears to Chay’s own, and the video went viral, it was the greatest declaration of love, that Wik with smitten with his boyfriend, and said boyfriend was the one who had pulled him from the depth of a dark place, and put him back on his feet…
“I am happy you are happy, P’Kim…”
“I am happy, I have you, My Love…”
Chay cuddled closer to Kim, almost lying on top of him… Kim hummed in delight, wrapping both his arms around Chay and smelling his hair…
“How was the internship?”
“It was ok, They are assigning me simple jobs for now… but I think I am not the person for the job…”
Kim looked at him in alarm.
“What do you mean?”
“I think I want to switch majors…”
“To what?”
“Back to music… I want to study music, I may never become a famous musician but I can always be a professor, don’t you think?”
Chay heard Kim take a deep breath before he flipped them over so that now he was the one on top, that was one of the things as well, Kim’s stamina was back, with vengeance…
He littered Chay’s face with tiny kisses, producing many giggles from him…
“I am so happy, So happy you want to switch back to music… I was ready to support you in anything as long as it made you happy…”
Chay cradled Kim’s face in his hand…
“Thank you, P’Kim… We should move to get ready before my brother starts ringing the bells of the city to find us…”
One of the things that had taken Kim by surprise was the fact that everyone was willing to change, they were willing to put down the stupid enforced rivalry to become a family, and one of those changes included at least two weekly dinners together, one at the compound and the other was either in Chay’s old house or at the apartment…
Kim chuckled but didn’t move, he leaned in and started kissing Chay…
If Porsche had to send some of the bodyguards to get them to the weekly dinner, that was no one's business.
----
Korn had been left to rot… and that was final…
Tankhun took pity on him from time to time and would just sit next to his bed as he wasted away and tell him - or more like rub it in his face - that they were doing well… that Kim was safe and fully recovered… that Kinn was no longer under anyone’s influence or control… that Tankhun himself was happy, and in love…
He was not a topic to talk about, they were waiting for him to die… they were waiting for him to just give up since he was never going to recover from the damage caused by the poison…
He even went ahead and played Kim’s latest album in the room, to prove the point, to drive the knife deeper… to prove to him that Kim was ok… was thriving…
“He is so happily in love with his Chay… Kinn too is so happy with Porsche… you have no idea how happy we are without you…”
Tankhun spoke over the music… before looking at the glass door to see Arm, He smiled at him when he caught his eyes, Pol was nearby as well… smoking somewhere…
“It’s the kind of happiness that it would only be complete if you went for good… I think the doctors said something about you having mere days… I hope you spend them suffering, and I hope when you go where dead people do… you see the faces of all the people you hurt, I hope they too get to have their revenge…”
Tankhun stood, walked, and stopped the music… he turned to Korn one final time.
“Goodbye father, I will never see you again”
Tankhun walked out, Arm reached his hand and took Tankhun’s… They had a party to go to…
-----
Chay and Kim were celebrating the album… with the family…
They had celebrated with the agent and the label already, But they had asked for it to be simple, the entire album and its promotions were made to be soothing to ease people’s hearts, it was an album about love, healing, about being found after being lost, and alone… and the promotions had to reflect that.
but once all of that was aside, they needed to celebrate with the family…
another one of Kim’s favorite cakes was there again, as long with all Kim’s favorite people…
but that was not the main event…
The main event was what was going to happen during that party… the album celebration was a decoy for something else, something Kim had been working hard for…
Proposing to Chay… putting a special ring on his finger and calling him his… giving ownership of his own heart and soul to Chay in return.
Everyone was on board with the plan, everyone but Chay, and Kim wanted to keep it that way for as long as he could… but Tankhun, Arm, and Pol were running late, Kinn seemed to know where they were but didn't want to share that info with him…
Soon enough Tankhun came with florance… He hugged Kim tightly before pulling him away and fixing his suit jacket…
"Ready ?"
"No… but I never wanted something as much as I wanted this…"
"Go for it then…"
Kim smiled at his eldest brother before he raised his glass and asked for everyone's attention…
"We are here today because I wouldn't have made any of them without you guys… but I wouldn't have even been…. I wouldn't have ever returned from the darkness hadn't been for Chay…"
Chay smiled shyly… He was back to studying music… both of them now shared several sets of guitars and other instruments…
Kim pulled Chay to his side and raised his glass in his honor… before adding…
"But that is not all… I want to give Chay something that is one of a kind… that I believe had always belonged to him"
Kim kneeled and Chay's eyes widened comically… Kim produced a box from his jacket and opened it to find two identical black bands… engraved with musical symbols…
"Can you take me to be yours for life?"
Chay smiled wetly at Kim, before pulling Kim back to his feet and kissing him senseless…
"Of course you idiot…"
-----
Chay was staring at the band on his finger as he stood on the balcony close to dawn, he wanted to see the sun come up… He wanted to see the light break through the darkness…
Blanket-clad arms were wrapped around him and sleep-warmed breath tickled his ears….
After Kim had proposed, all of them were deliriously happy the rest of the night, till Tankhun pushed everyone out of the apartment
"Those lovey-dovey youngsters need some privacy…"
and that they did, Chay had pushed Kim into the bed and straddled his waist…
"My Lover… My fiancee…"
"Mine…"
Their lovemaking was so heated and so long that both of them dropped asleep as soon as they managed to get out of the shower, and then Chay woke up close at dawn, he needed to breathe some clear air, so he dropped a kiss on Kim's forehead and padded softly to the balcony. It was how Kim found him a few minutes later, before he wrapped both of them in a blanket he had grabbed when he left their room, to ward off the chilly air of the early morning.
"Why are you awake?"
"I wanted to see the sun come up, wanted to see the darkness broken by the light…"
"just like you did with me, broke my darkness with your light…"
Chay turned his head to drop a kiss on Kim's side of his face…
"I would have done that and a thousand other things if it meant having you… if it meant protecting you…"
Kim hummed, dropping a kiss on the corner of Chay's lips…
"I am yours, your protector, your lover, I belong to you and only to you…
Chay hummed softly, both of them falling into comfortable silence watching as the sun came up… before Kim tugged Chay back into the room…
All was well, Light had ended the darkness.
The end