Chapter Text
Hello, this is JYP Entertainment.
We regret to inform you that our artist, Xdinary Heroes GAON on December 3rd was heading to a store in his free time when he was involved in a major car collision. After the collision, he was urgently sent to the hospital.
As such, he is currently being hospitalized and will not be attending any group promotions for the next couple of weeks as we would like to give him time to recover fully.
We apologize for causing fans to worry with such sudden news. Please send your support to GAON and the rest of Xdinary Heroes as JYPE will put his health as the highest priority and will provide everything to care for his speedy recovery.
Hyeongjun read the company’s statement on his phone as he sat in Jiseok’s room in one of the chairs with Jooyeon. He shows his screen to the maknae, and he nods as he looks up at Jiseok.
Jiseok had survived by a miracle. After having no oxygen or heartbeat for five minutes, the chest compressions finally worked. All the doctors and nurses were cheering as they got him back, the members crying with relief as they watched him get intubated. At the moment, they were aware that there would be a chance of him not waking up, but at least now he had a chance.
However, currently, the realization has finally sunk into the others. Sure, he had managed to survive his code but now he also has to wake up.
Every time Hyeongjun falls asleep, he dreams about Jiseok, which isn’t surprising, of course, but they’re always either about him waking up, finally smiling as he gets picked up in Hyeongjun's arms. In other cases, he has a bad dream where Jiseok dies while intubated. It’s a nightmare, both literally and metaphorically. Hyeongjun watched as he passed in his sleep, trying to escape his members' grasp, which is ironically almost exactly what happened when he was coding. Hyeongjun would wake up in a cold sweat every time he dreamt that, and since he slept in Jiseok’s room, he would always get up to make sure his boyfriend still had a pulse.
The others were obviously in distress as well, but they tried staying strong for both Jiseok and Hyeongjun. They watched a funny movie together on the TV in the room, and they tried playing card games, but nothing could truly distract them from Jiseok.
Scrolling through social media and bubble is even worse. There are lots and lots of comments supporting the members, and fans talking about their favorite things about Jiseok. "I hope he’s not suffering so much," a comment on Twitter says. "I can’t imagine how the members feel right now; they’re probably so scared," another commenter adds.
Scared? Hyeongjun says in his head. Scared does not cover it; it's not even close.
Hyeongjun only eats whenever the others remind him because he has no appetite, he only leaves the room whenever he’s reassured that someone will stay with Jiseok, and he only smiles if he’s rewatching a video of his boyfriend he has saved in his camera roll.
There’s a particular video that gives Hyeongjun some happiness. In his favorites, he finds a video of him and Jiseok whenever they first started dating. It’s just the two of them, taking a walk around the JYP building while it’s around thirty degrees and holding hands. The camera pans to Jiseok staring at a window covered with ice, and swipes his finger on the glass. Like a little kid, he smiles at Hyeongjun, showing off the cube of ice that got stuck on his finger.
The Hyeongjun in the video laughs as he presses his own palm against the window, stands face-to-face with his boyfriend, and then places his hand on the back of Jiseok’s neck, making the older flinch away from the coldness. “Hey!” Hyeongjun is laughing at his reaction, and Jiseok only pouts, “I thought you were going to kiss me.”
“Sorry,” Hyeongjun is still laughing a little but gives Jiseok a small peck on the lips. “Will you accept my apology?”
Jiseok sighs, “Fine. Only because it’s you.”
The video ends, and Hyeongjun smiles sadly, sitting on the couch of the room by himself. He had barely been able to spend time with Jiseok in the snow due to their busy schedules, his dream of building a guitarist snowman with him had yet to be accomplished. He scrolls through his camera roll, finding a lot more photos of each other he had forgotten about. There was a photo of Jiseok shirtless in his bed, peacefully sleeping with a smile on his face, and another one of him playing Mario with other players.
Seungmin comes into the room with a couple of water bottles in his hand. He softly walks over to Hyeongjun, “Have you eaten today?”
He nods his head a little, “A bagel that Jungsu gave me this morning.”
Seungmin would usually lecture him for eating too little, but he knows it's better than nothing. He almost got sick in the beginning because he wasn't digesting anything. “Has anything changed?” The younger shakes his head no, opening a bottle of water and taking a small sip.
“I don’t know what's worse, change or no change. I just want an indication that he’s okay.”
“We’ll get it soon, you just have to be patient and stay strong. For him.” Seungmin goes to sit in a chair beside Jiseok, fixing his hospital gown. He pats his hand for a second, but quickly moves his hand away otherwise he’ll cry.
He hates seeing Jiseok like this, looking lifeless even though he’s breathing. He has a heartbeat. But he’s unconscious, not being awake to spread his joyous energy. To laugh, to talk, to sing, to dance, to tease Jooyeon about not eating his vegetables, to pretend to get in a fistfight with Seungmin, to sing high notes with Jungsu, to slap stuff out of nowhere imitating a drum like Gunil does, to smile and kiss and hug and cuddle Hyeongjun, it’s depressing.
Seungmin has cried a ton; just not in front of the others, especially Hyeongjun. He locked himself in a bathroom stall when they first got here, sobbing what seemed like endless tears. The first time he sat in Jiseok’s room without anyone around, he spoke to the older only for a little bit without his voice cracking. Whenever Jiseok was coding, he was crying, praying to God that he would survive. He’s worried every day, every moment, and he wishes he could do something to help.
“I’ve realized something while we’ve been here.” Hyeongjun breaks the silence, and Seungmin turns around to look at him. He sees him fidgeting with his fingers in his lap, debating how he should say his words.
“I truly love Jiseok.”
Seungmin frowns, tilting his head in thought, “I thought we all knew that already, especially you two.”
The guitarist shakes his head, “No, not like that. I mean, truly love him.” He looks up to see Jiseok’s body. “For the past year and a half, we’ve been dating but haven’t had any major arguments or been separated for a long period of time. But now, experiencing this makes me realize how terrifying the thought of losing him forever is.”
Hyeongjun gives him a puppy-like look, “Seungmin, would it be considered dramatic if I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Jiseok?”
God, hearing that from his mouth hurts him even more. Hyeongjun was never the romantic type with Jiseok, or at least around him. It was usually the latter that was more clingy and touchy and said cheesy things, so it made Seungmin’s heart break whenever Hyeongjun said that.
“No, I don’t think it’s dramatic at all. You love Jiseok, I’ve seen it, and he loves you. The both of you deserve to stay together until the end of each other’s time.” Seungmin touches Jiseok’s shoulder, patting it lightly. “It’s what's best for you guys.”
Hyeongjun nods, “What about you and Jooyeon? You still haven’t updated me about everything!” He changes the topic slightly, and Seungmin laughs.
“I just haven’t had a chance to, we declared it officially a day before Jiseok’s accident. I’ve been trying to support him as well, you know how close he is to him.”
-
Hello~
I hope you guys take good care of yourself
Good night!
Jooyeon sends the final message in bubble as he exits the app. He sighs, leaning back in the chair as he opens his contacts. He’s by himself in Jiseok’s room— well technically the only other person, since the others went out to get stuff from the dorms.
He’s surprised that Hyeongjun willingly went; he’s the only one who hasn't left the hospital since the accident. Maybe he let Jooyeon on his own on purpose, if he wanted some time to himself.
He scrolls down the list until he finds his mom's number, and contemplates whether or not to call her. He looks through their recent conversations on messages, and he rereads them slowly.
12.18 AM. Mom, I won’t be able to talk to you a lot for the next few days. I’m sorry
???
Jiseok got in a car accident, and we’re staying at the hospital until he recovers
Oh no. I’m so sorry Joo
Is he awake?
No, he’s in emergency surgery right now. I’m scared, what if he never gets better?
Jiseok is strong, right? I’m sure he’ll wake up.
You need to take care of yourself as well, he wouldn’t be happy if you weren’t
I love you.
I love you.
As he finishes reading he sees someone else is calling him, the notification popping up on his screen. It’s Seungmin.
He swipes to accept the call, “You okay?” He’s happy to receive a call from his boyfriend (Wow, Jooyeon says in his head. I can’t believe I can officially call him that now.) even though if it’s for a short conversation.
“I should be asking you that. How do you feel?” Jooyeon hears him chewing on a snack as he hears the other members talking in the background.
“The same.” He looks over at Jiseok. “It just makes me sad looking at him.”
“Have you tried playing your bass?” Seungmin asks, reminding him that he bought that to distract him.
“I’ll do it later.” The younger frowns, “I was scrolling through the messages between my mom and I.”
Jooyeon hears the dorm door shut, indicating that the members are leaving now, “You should call her now, it’ll make you feel better if anything.” Seungmin puts him on speaker. “The others think so too, right Hyeongjun?”
“She’s probably worried sick about you as well, let her know you’re doing okay.”
Jooyeon sighs, standing up as he goes to the window in the room, “I will, thank you, Min.”
“Of course, as long as you feel better.” Seungmin starts the car, “I’ll see you at the hospital.”
The words escape Jooeyon’s mouth before he can stop himself, “Please drive carefully.”
"I will.”
The call ends, and the younger immediately goes to his moms contact and calls her. It’s late, so he doesn’t expect her to pick up but hopes she does anyway.
And she does; His breath is a little shaky, “Hi.”
He updates her on everything, and as he does, he starts to cry.
“Mom, I’m so scared for him right now. He’s suffering when he didn’t even cause this. I-I wish I could help him, make him feel better, let him wake up and smile and laugh again. But I can’t.”
-
Jungsu sighed as he ordered a snack from the hospital's cafeteria, thanking the employee and going to sit at a small table, laying his phone as he scrolled through his notes for a song they were working on.
“Ordered jelly because it reminded you of him?” He pulls a chair back.
Jungsu looks up at Gunil as he sits across from him, “Yeah. I don’t even know if I’m going to eat it anyway.” He stares at the package with sad eyes, and in the reflection of the plastic he only sees Jiseok’s eyes, “I think I’m going insane.”
Gunil looks at him with pity, “Why?”
“All I see is his damn face everywhere!” Jungsu says, annoyed. “In my dreams or in reality, and it’s only making me stress out more.”
The drummer motions to give him the jelly, and he complies, “I don’t think buying his favorite snack will help you out though.”
Jungsu pouts, “I know, I’m sorry I just- I feel like crap okay? What about you? How have you been feeling?”
Gunil shrugs, looking at the jelly, “I’ve just been trying to distract myself. When I’m sitting in his room I read a book, I know he would greatly appreciate it.”
Both of them have been doing the most group-wise as the oldest; While the three others were busy taking care of Jiseok and getting updates, Gunil and Jungsu were both constantly sorting things out with the company about the what-ifs as much as it hurt them.
“I have an idea.” Gunil grins, “Let’s put this on his bedside, so maybe it can help him wake up faster.”
It’s stupid and untrue, he’s aware, but he can’t help but smile widely whenever Jungsu agrees.
-
Hyeongjun has been sitting in that same chair not only for the past nine days but also for the past three hours straight. He’s laying his head on his knuckles, daydreaming as Jooyeon is sleeping right across from him.
At first, whenever he sees it he thinks he's hallucinating; Jiseok’s finger twitches. Only for a split second, but it definitely moves.
Hyeongjun sits up abruptly, thinking that the lack of sleep is making him see things. But he’s not, judging from the way that his hand twitches a second time.
“Hey,” He says, speaking for the first time the whole day. “Wake up, come on.”
Jooyeon groans as he awakes, “What?” He questions the older, but is even more confused whenever he sees his expression. “Me or him?”
Hyeongjun stands from his chair and walks to Jiseok’s side, “Both, I think.” His hand touches his forehead, and he has no indication of a fever, so there is a chance that he’s waking up.
Eyes widening, the bassist practically jumps out of his seat as he rushes over to his side as well, “Jiseok?”
His hand doesn’t twitch this time, instead it moves completely along with his leg, and they both hear a slight moan from Jiseok.
His left eye opens slowly, then the right one, and blinks fast as he processes Hyeongjun and Jooyeon. They’re crying. Crying. And Jiseok has known them for long enough to recognize that look, it’s from relief. From pure happiness.
“Hey,” His boyfriend gently grabs his hand, “Welcome back, it’s okay.” He smiles so hard his teeth are showing and it’s the first time in nine days that's happened.
Jooyeon moves his bangs out of his face, “It’s a long story, but what matters is that you're with us.” He turns to face Hyeongjun, “He woke up, he’s okay.” They both stand there, gripping his hands and crying out in pure bliss. He had made it; he was strong. He survived.
Jooyeon is first to speak again. “I’m going to get his doctor and the members.” And with that, he runs out of the room.
Hyeongjun turns to look at him sprinting out, a big smile plastered on his face. He looks back at his boyfriend, and he still can’t believe he’s awake again. “Jiseok, I love you so much.” He sobs as he gives him a forehead kiss. “I love you I love you I love you.” He’s so relieved, it feels like the gods from above sent him a blessing directly to them. His tears are running down his cheeks, wetting Jiseok’s head a little bit but he doesn’t mind.
He still has the endotracheal attached so he can’t speak, but he pulls Hyeongjun away and strokes his cheek with his thumb, his eyes full of fondness and glowing, I love you too.
Hyeongjun smiles, laughs, and cries as he stays there holding Jiseok’s hand, constantly showering him with I love you and kisses. At the moment, for a little bit, it was just them two.
“You’ll have a long journey to recovery, but i’ll be with you every step of the way.” He kisses Jiseok’s hand, full of scars but knows they will go away soon. God, he can’t get enough of it. He sees Jiseok smile even with the endotracheal, and that’s when he realized that yes, everything’s gonna be alright.
-
Jiseok’s recovery wasn’t easy for obvious reasons, but because of his members it wasn’t as tedious as it was supposed to be.
Everyday, he woke up (with Hyeongjun by his side) and took a walk around the hospital to stretch his legs. Then, he would go back to his room to eat his breakfast which mainly consisted of pancakes, a sandwich or some eggs. After that, he would head out to go to physical therapy and from there he did whatever.
Jiseok was advised to not play guitar until his hands fully heal; Instead, Jooyeon and Hyeongjun offer to play whatever song he requests for him, letting him feel satisfied. Seungmin and Jungsu danced to recently released k-pop songs for him while Gunil read from a dad jokes book. (Jiseok thinks he’s gotten soft because he actually suggested for that- but you wouldn’t hear that from him)
Jiseok’s first words after getting the endotracheal removed were a couple hours afterwards; Hyeongjun was strumming on his acoustic guitar, “I made you really worried, didn’t I?”
The younger looks up at his boyfriend, “Your voice okay?”
Jiseok clears it, “Yeah, but answer my question.”
Hyeongjun nods, “Not just me, but the members, the staff, the fans.”
He sits up, “Villains know?”
Hyeongjun puts his guitar down and goes to stand beside Jiseok, “Yeah. The company released a statement four days after. Everyone’s been really supportive.” Which was true. After JYP gave the fans an update, all of their social media platforms were filled with tremendous support.
Jiseok sighs, “I wish this had turned out differently.” He intertwined their hands together, “I almost died with no fault.” He looks up at Hyeongjun, but then pats the side of his bed, urging him to sit.
His boyfriend squeezes his hand in support, “Do you want to talk about it?” His voice is so comforting, and the cologne he’s wearing smells like home. He gives Jiseok a reassuring smile, “I love you.”
The latter bites his lip, “The light had turned green, and I was in the front. So I went, I started turning left because that was the way to the store.” His voice is a little shaky, “And then as I’m turning I hear a loud engine, and when I look in the review mirror I see a car speeding towards me. I tense up, bracing myself for impact and-” Jiseok stops momentarily to try to hold his tears in. “I felt a huge amount of pain in my body as the car kept flipping over. It was…bad.” He laughs a little, trying to ease his pain, and Hyeongjun only continues to look at him worriedly, “The last thing I remember is having a big migraine and like my entire body, especially my stomach aching and hearing sirens on the rough concrete. I felt blood pouring out from my head.”
Hyeongjun embraces him carefully, knowing that his body is still sensitive, “It’s okay, Ji. Let it out. You’re okay now.” His hands find his waist, letting his fingers rest at his hips.
And Jiseok breaks at his words, burying his face in the crook of his neck, bottled up tears escaping him. The cover had been shattered, he couldn’t hide it anymore. His sobs hurt Hyeongjun, because god he doesn’t deserve any of this. “I won’t let you get hurt ever again, I promise you.” He whispers, kissing his cheek in affection. “I love you.”
In Hyeongjun’s eyes, Jiseok still looks beautiful as he cries. He cups his cheeks with his hands as he slowly pulls him away, feeling Jiseok’s fingers run through his long hair. “I love you too, Jun.”
The younger smiles, and he can’t help but kiss him deeply for the first time since he woke up. Hyeongjun moves his hands from his hips to the back of his head, cradling him in his grasp as Jiseok sighs against their connected lips. Carefully, Hyeongjun lays him back down on his bed, slowly falling on top of him. His right hand his holding himself up on the bed while his left is still on the back of his boyfriend’s head.
Jiseok disconnects their kiss as he moves his lips to Hyeongjun’s neck, sucking lightly on the skin. “Your turtleneck can cover them up right?”
As much as Hyeongjun finds it hot whenever the older marks him, a blush still appears on his face, “Ji, anyone could walk in at any moment…”
Jiseok laughs against his neck, “But you’re the one who started the kiss.” He wraps his hands around his waist, “And I missed you so much. You missed me and my kisses, didn’t you?”
Damn it, He got him there. Hyeongjun rolled his eyes amd decided to just give in, letting Jiseok’s saliva dry on his neck. At one point, he sucked particularly hard, resulting in a moan from Hyeongjun and he quickly pulled away, smacking his hand.
“Kwak Jiseok!” He hissed, annoyed at his boyfriend's laughter. “We’re in public, and now people might think we’re having sex.”
Jiseok watched as the mark turned red, grinning, “I had to let people know you’re mine.”
Hyeongjun rubbed his temple, “Fine, i’ll let it slide.”
“Because you love me?”
The younger gave him a warm smile, “That, and because I have you back.”
-
Two weeks after the accident, Jiseok was finally able to go home. He had been sick of seeing the same place everyday, and if it wasn’t for the kind staff and his members, he might’ve went insane.
Stepping out of the hospital after he got discharged was so refreshing. He smiled widely, Jungsu wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “Feel better?”
“Much better,” Jiseok nods, as he sees Seungmin and Jooyeon carrying their bags of supplies that they took from the dorm. Hyeongjun is also beside him, holding his hand as they stood together.
The car that the members rode in was driven by Gunil, who had pulled up and unlocked the middle seats. “Let’s go home!”
As the members opened the doors going to enter, Jiseok stands in place. His body is frozen, and he just stares wide eyed at the car.
Hyeongjun notices Jiseok isn’t behind him, and when he sees him he instantly speaks to him, “Ji? You okay?”
Jiseok shakes his head, “I don’t wanna ride in the car.”
Fuck, Hyeongjun totally forgot about the possibility that he would get flashbacks. “It’s okay. It’s Gunil driving.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust him,” The older says in a shaky voice, “I just don’t feel safe.”
Hyeongjun extends his hand to him, offering that he’ll stay beside him the entire ride, ensuring that he’ll stay safe but Jiseok takes a step back. “Please, I don't want to.”
A tear escapes his eye, “No, no. No.” He looks at Hyeongjun, “Please.”
Seungmin comes up behind him and speaks in a reassuring tone, “Hey, why don’t you cuddle up to Hyeongjun the car ride, so you know that he’ll protect you?”
The guitarist looks at his boyfriend, “Is that okay, Ji? I’ll be holding you the entire time.”
Jiseok tries to bury his hands in his face in embarrassment, but Hyeongjun grabs and kisses them, “Baby, you’ll be okay. I promise.”
Hearing the rare pet name from his mouth, Jiseok looks up at him and nods. “Okay.” Jungsu tells Gunil to drive slower than usual, and the members sit in the van.
Jooyeon and Seungmin sit in the back while Hyeongjun adjusts his seat in the middle. He pats his thigh, telling Jiseok to sit on his lap.
He slowly gets in the van with shaky legs, and Hyeongjun spreads his legs so Jiseok can sit comfortably. He puts on the seatbelt and kisses his neck. “I’ll hold you the entire time, okay?”
Jiseok nods, and as Gunil starts driving he holds Hyeongjun’s hands tighter, whimpering in fright. “I’m scared, Jun.”
Hyeongjun hushes him, “Close your eyes and pretend you’re at home in bed.” His hands move to cup Jiseok’s cheeks, “I love you.”
The car ride back is tedious for Jiseok, and whenever they stop at a red light he starts crying more. “No no no no no…” Hyeongjun wraps his arms around his waist and buries his boyfriend's head in his chest. “It’s okay, it’s okay, nothing's going to happen I promise.”
Gunil turns the car into the lane once the light turns green, “It’s okay Jiseok, nothing happened.”
Hyeongjun kisses the top of his head, “See? I got you.”
Whenever they make it to the dorms, Jiseok immediately collapses onto Hyeongjun’s bed face first and sighs in relief.
-
It took an another week for Jiseok to pick up his guitar again, and that same week he had to go back to the company building to set up arrangements for his appointments, while also having practice.
His members were making him their priority as they kept taking care of him; they wouldn't let him do chores around the house as long as they were around, and they bought him more food than usual. Whenever they watched a movie or show together, he would always get to pick.
Jiseok wrote a couple of songs while he was at home with someone; he was never alone. Someone always stayed back with him. The lyrics he wrote were daunting, reminding him of the accident but it was a way to cope with his trauma.
After about a month since he got home, he was able to ride in a vehicle without getting scared. However, it was gonna take him a longer time to drive again but it was progress.
Hyeongjun helped him the most of course. He went everywhere Jiseok went, fed him, practiced the guitar with him, helped him do his physical therapy, you name it. There were multiple times where he did Jiseok’s skin care, or in the shower he would wash Jiseok’s hair for him.
He was so gentle with him, he would make sure his wounds don’t hurt, that he doesn't touch where his body’s sensitive. Whenever they were making love Hyeongjun would trace the scars on Jiseok’s bare body and kiss them softly, reassuring him that he’s still as beautiful as he’s always been.
The six of them went to an expensive two day vacation in Jeju, and Jiseok told them it was all on him; his thanks for taking care of him while he was injured.
“I love you guys.” Jiseok smiled as he showed them the tickets, setting them on the table. “This is my gift for all of you.”
He gets wrapped in their embrace, all of them cheering as Hyeongjun kisses him over and over again.
Jooyeon laughs at them, “Alright Hyeongjun, we get it. Get a room!”
The guitarist rolls his eyes with a grin, “Leave me alone. I let you and Seungmin make out in my room.”
Seungmin stands up from his seat, “And that’s why the rooms are going to be randomized on the trip.” And his words are followed with no’s, especially by Jiseok and Hyeongjun.