Chapter Text
Gray stared at his boyfriend shouting in exhilaration, his hands in the air, then nearly falling over from the sudden movement. He stared at his friends, throwing their pool cues and hurrying to catch him.
Just half a year ago, Gray would be certain he was dreaming. He still thought so, though it wasn’t as pressing now.
He just stood there, his back against the wall, looking at the boy he’d been missing for so long.
But was he?
Despite everything Gray had tried, Stephen still hadn’t remembered their past together. There were moments that made Gray’s heart skip a beat with hope, as a familiar tone showed in Stephen’s voice, or when he said something he would say back then.
But at the end of the day, Stephen never truly remembered him.
Gray tried to come to terms with it, especially when he began to notice Stephen becoming clingy with him. He knew remaining close to the boy when he was the only one knowing their real background would be painful and he didn’t regret going in.
But he couldn’t help but feel like he was still waiting for someone else.
They were the same person, had the same personality, the same quirks. Their only difference was that one had amnesia.
And yet, somehow, Gray couldn’t find it in him to move on from the memory of the boy that had shown him how to truly live .
As he flopped into the space next to Gray, Stephen sighed loudly, stretching his upper body.
Having been “together” for a while, one could think their relationship would finally begin to evolve.
Instead, besides the first time, when Gray indeed was the one to initiate their kiss, there hasn’t been any sign of interest in anything of the sort from the boy. He would allow Stephen everything he did before, like laying his head on his lap, or cuddling up to him when Stephen was particularly exhausted, but that would be about it.
Remembering that day, Stephen just couldn’t help but get his hopes up.
He was finally dating the boy he had been pining for for whoever knows how long and he was a properly functioning teenager, so it was quite natural he would be rather eager to move forward.
He sighed again and turned around on Gray’s lap. It wasn’t like he would do anything without Gray showing interest in the first place, because so far there hasn’t really been any. Which was fine, they were moving at a different pace, it happened in relationships. He just had to hope Gray would get there sooner rather than later. Or never, but Stephen didn’t want to think of that possibility.
“You’re really restless today.” Gray pointed out when Stephen moved on his lap once more. At that, Stephen stopped and rose to sit and look at Gray slightly from above (the boy was still really short).
Still?
He shook his head. This wasn’t something he should be telling him, probably. He didn’t want to pressure him. Or anything.
“Hey, how did that Olympiad go? I remember you were going, but I don’t think you told me how it went.” He said instead, to break the silence.
Gray froze on the spot, dropping the textbook in his hand. His expression was almost blank, unreadable, if it weren’t for his eyes.
Those were filled with emotions Stephen couldn’t fully place. He’d seen Gray exhausted, tired, sad, happy, sometimes reminiscent, for some reason.
But this emotion… had he ever seen it?
“How do you know that.” Gray stated asked, his voice trembling, almost as much as his hands that reached out to grab onto Stephen’s sleeve.
“You… told me? I remember you telling me you were going to one. It’s actually strange, how well that memory stuck. It feels really foggy, but also somehow clear? It feels like it shouldn’t be there, but I’m sure I didn’t imagine it.” His voice lowered by the end, uncertainty taking over. “Did I?”
Gray’s eyes widened more as he spoke, his hands moving to stay on his cheeks as he stared deep into Stephen’s own.
Oh. Stephen thought he knew where he’d seen this emotion now. At least part of it.
The first day Gray came to the café.
It was hope, wasn’t it?
Except this one wasn’t just warm hope, like that day. It was full of shock, but also absolute and utter joy.
“Stephen. That was in middle school.”
It was Stephen’s turn to freeze.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re starting to remember.”
“Remember what?”
One of Gray’s small, delicate, yet calloused hands, made it’s way from Stephen’s cheek to his hand to twine their fingers and squeeze it.
Stephen’s brows furrowed in confusion.
“Think about it. When did I ever tell you about any competition I would be attending?”
Stephen thought about it. He couldn’t place it anywhere on the timeline of their meeting. He initially blamed that on his memory, but…
Maybe it wasn’t that bad?
Maybe… that would actually explain some things?
That familiarness he felt when looking at Gray for the first time. That immediate attraction to the boy, even though he hadn’t really been interested in anyone at all until then.
That longing that felt like it had been going on for far longer than it should logically.
Something in his face must have shifted, as Gray’s expression did as well. It stopped being flat, and became…
Warm. Stephen really didn’t know how else to explain it. It was just warm, like sun finally gazing down at him without clouds obstructing it.
Then, Gray’s head fell on Stephen’s shoulder, a tremor going through the smaller boy.
“I kept telling myself that it was probably for the best that you didn’t remember. That it would only bring you pain.” He looked back up, his eyes glimmering with hope. “But then, whenever I looked at you, I’d only miss the way you looked at me before. Without the recognition.”
“But I recognise you now, don’t I?” Stephen placed his own hand on Gray’s cheek, caressing it gently. “I know you now, isn’t that enough?”
Gray shook his head, taking Stephen’s hand off his face, albeit delicately.
“Why not? Did my perception of you change? Did I treat you differently before?” Gray shook his head again, but his head now lowered, his bangs covering his face. Stephen reached out to move them out of the way so he could look at him. “Then what’s the issue?”
Gray didn’t respond, the only movement from him remaining to be his unstable shaky breathing.
“Gray. I wish I remembered, too. I wish I had more memories of your gorgeous face, of your beautiful smile, of your smart remarks and your stupidly soft mouth.”
Gray finally raised his gaze to pin it firmly to Stephen’s eyes.
“We never dated before.”
Stephen blinked.
“We didn’t?”
Gray shook his head, his eyes remaining pinned to Stephen’s.
“Then what is it that worries you so much?”
He was met with silence, for a while. Then, a quiet;
“I don’t know.”
It was a bit of a shock, in all honesty. To see Gray Yeon, the boy that knew almost everything, admit to being so clueless about something.
And that something being his own feelings.
Stephen sighed, a soothing smile worming it’s way to his expression naturally. It made Gray’s eyes soften, somehow.
“Listen, I don’t know if I’ll ever remember fully. I don’t know if I will ever really remember any of our past. But I don’t want you to be weighed down by that. It’ll only make the both of us suffer.”
After a minute of silence, Gray finally nodded, and stood on his knees to wrap his arms around Stephen’s neck.
“I’ll try.”
With a smile, Stephen wrapped his own arms around Gray’s waist and squeezed with all of his strength.
“Huh, you’ve more muscles than you seem.”
He got a light smack on a shoulder for that statement. It was well worth the chuckle Gray let out, though.
After that day, their relationship finally begun to unravel in a way Stephen found more than pleasing.
That being, Gray finally begun to really initiate a lot of things.
Previously, the best Stephen could count on was compliance.
Now, he would pat his own lap invitingly when he was reading and Stephen was free. He would come sit beside Stephen when he was on break in the backroom and press his side flush against the other. He would hold his hand, or lie down next to Stephen in his own bed when he thought Stephen was long asleep.
He would even finally initiate kisses, at times. Which brought them to where they were now, in Stephen’s room, his mum out at work, thus completely alone in the house.
Gray had been particularly indulging that day. First, he came up to Stephen when he was boiling water for tea, only to wrap his arms around the taller boy’s waist and press his face into the space between his shoulderblades (Stephen’s body reacted instantly, making him eternally grateful he was facing the counter).
Then, when the tea was brewing on Stephen’s desk and they were choosing a game to play together, Gray suddenly grabbed Stephen’s free hand that rested on his own lap until then, and begun to run his fingers along Stephen’s. Which Stephen allowed him to do, pretending he didn’t feel heat crawling up his neck.
And then, during one of their matches of Takken, Gray suddenly leaned up to plant a kiss on the corner of Stephen’s mouth.
That broke Stephen’s resolve, and he dropped his controller, letting it fall freely as he turned, grabbed Gray’s face in his hands and pressed their mouths together.
The feeling of Gray’s soft skin against his lips immediately made him sigh shakily with excitement, and (noting that Gray didn’t make any effort to move away) he begun to move with more purpose, planting wet, open-mouthed kisses on the other boy’s own mouth.
Finally , he got a reaction out of Gray: a quiet gasp as Stephen licked along the seam of his mouth, which allowed Stephen to push his tongue inside. The taller boy moved one of his hands to Gray’s nape, which granted him get even better access to the inside of his mouth, to practically devour him .
He heard and felt a whine leave Gray, so he tried to pull away, to make sure everything was alright, only to have his boyfriend’s small hands wrap themselves around his neck and pull him back in.
And Stephen wasn’t one to spare his dearest anything good, was he? So he took a deep breath in and dove back in.
“Boys! I’m back!” Came the voice of Stephen’s mother, making the two teens pull away from each other, both of them breathing heavily, their mouths kiss-bruised and their cheeks pink. A sight the woman would later think she should have expected when she opened the door to her son’s room with two cups of hot cocoa.