Chapter Text
It was hardly a secret anymore that Remus had no interest in girls. Whenever a Hogsmead weekend came around and some random girl would tap him on the shoulder during a mealtime, his friends would come to his rescue. Softening the rejection with ‘ Oh, that’s just Moony. He doesn’t date’.
It was easier to pretend that was the whole story.
Sitting on the floor in the washroom after kissing SIRIUS BLOODY BLACK, on THE MOUTH, in front of EVERYONE they know ; Remus wasn’t so sure he could pretend much longer.
Sirius kissed me , he kept thinking, over and over. Repeating the feeling of his hot mouth on his. God .
He’d just about gotten sick from the nerves, and the flush. Did Sirius mean it?? Definitely not. It was just a game.
Then there was a pounding on the door. “Open up, Lupin! Mary just drank something Black mixed up and she’s gonna hurl!” It was Marlene, bless her.
Remus reluctantly got up, if not for Mary’s sake, just to sooth the incessant knocking, and opened the door.
“Orright—?” He barely got the word out before both girls shoved past him into the bathroom, shutting the door, and locking him out.
And in the same room as Sirius again.
Remus strode across the room, very intentionally avoiding eye contact with any of his friends. That didn’t mean he couldn’t very well feel their eyes on him. He flopped down and drew the curtains shut. They must’ve forgotten to cast a Muffliato , or maybe they just wanted to torture him further, so Remus heard every whispered word.
“ What the fuck, Padfoot?!”
“I didn’t do anything!”
“Yes you did, you bloody kissed him!”
“It’s just a game!”
“...You have to be more careful with Moony.”
They continued to whisper, but Remus tuned it out. Is that really what they think of him? That he’s a ticking time bomb, ready to explode the second he doesn’t like something?
He supposes, being rational, he can’t blame them for that assumption. He has an awful tendency to hit anybody who pisses him off, and shut down when he has to think about his emotions. This is different, though.
Should he be happy that Sirius thinks he’s a bigot, rather than a queer? No, and he’s not. Call it more relieved. Just closing his eyes, and eventually falling asleep.
***
The train back to the Potters was disappointing, to say the least. Sirius hadn’t said a word to him. Remus almost sat in Marlene’s car, but then they’d know he was upset.
“Mum and Dad are so excited to see you both again. Mum said in her last letter that she was gonna make Diwali again.”
“Merlin, any chance your Mum is single, Prongs?”
Sirius was normal. Too normal. Does he know I’m going insane? Does he know that just watching his lips move as he talks makes me want to rip my hair out?!
Obviously not.
“Moony, did you try the burfi at Easter?”
“Yeah, it was great,” Remus may be mad, but to deny Mrs. Potter’s talent in the kitchen is a low he won’t stoop to. Plus, he ate an entire plate last time.
“She said she’s making extra, just because she knows how much our Moony can eat.”
“Is Evans still popping around for Boxing day?”
They moved on, and Remus took to staring out the window, tuning them out. Once the conversation died down, James fell asleep. Leaning so heavily onto Sirius that he shoved him away and switched benches to sit right beside Remus.
Fuck.
“I am not going to miss Prong’s snoring once we leave school.”
Oh, ok. Small talk, then?
“Hm.”
“I mean, the bastard sounds like a damn bear.”
“Does, doesn’t he?” Remus dismissed. Shoving himself as far into the wall as possible. Daft idiot. Stupid, stupid mouth, and hair, and voice. Stupid.
“We’ll at least have the city sounds to drown ‘im out by then, eh, Moons?” Sirius nudged him with his elbow, and that was the final straw.
“ Damnnit, Sirius, what’s the matter with you?!”
Sirius flinched, and Remus immediately felt bad, shouting at Sirius is like picking a barely healed scab. Just shouldn’t do it.
“Sorry, Pads,” Remus leaned in, putting a hand on his shoulder. It felt like lightning. “I just don’t want to pretend nothing happened, last night was—”
“Fun, right?! I barely remember a thing!”
Remus’s face fell, and Sirius’ followed. With a pointed glance at James beside them, Sirius stood up. Remus knew that he was supposed to follow.
Sirius led them both silently to an empty car, surrounded by a lot of other empty cars. They were alone.
The door clicked shut behind them, and Sirius turned around, grin on his face.
“Didn’t think a little kiss would rattle you so much, Moons.”
Remus was rendered speechless, looking at his best friend as he stepped closer, closer… His hand snaking up Remus’ jaw, until he was cupping his face. Other hand placed on his chest.
“ Pads…”
“Shh, s’ just us here.”
He flicked his hair back, and tucked his face into Remus’ neck. Kissing him. Again. Then moving up his jaw, to his lips.
Never in my wildest dreams, have I ever had a shot at snogging Sirius Black.
They kept that up for a bit, returning back to a sleeping James and hungover Peter not too long after. Positively giddy. Neither one quite sure what this means, but more than happy to figure it out, together.