Chapter Text
“And what would you like to order good sir?” Rain asks in his best British accent, trying to make himself sound more dignified.
“Hold on, I'm thinking, I’m thinking…” Sodo grumbled, taking on his role as the annoyed, grumpy customer.
It was a slow day at McDonalds. Sodo and Rain were alone on the register but since there were no customers, they resorted to pretending Sodo was the customer.
“I think I’ll have the Gorblosh Big Mac…”
Rain paused for a second, “The… what?”
“Do I need to repeat myself, young man?” Sodo raised his voice, really playing into his role, “I said I want the Gorblosh Big mac! With fries… And to drink I want a corlop.”
Rain raised an eyebrow at Sodo’s strange order. “Alright… we can do that for you I think.”
“I’m not done!” Sodo interrupted, “I would also like your parblob shake. A large.”
Rain paused for a second waiting for Sodo to add more to the order. When he didn’t, Rain asked, “Is that it?”
Sodo replied, “Yes, I know how your secret menu works. Now make it snappy bucko. I’ve got better things to do.”
Rain was about to respond when he realized they had an actual customer at the counter. He shot Sodo a look, reminding him to be professional now. Sodo, seeing the customer, ran right up to the register, relieved to have something to do.
“Hey! Welcome to the pentagon McDonalds! What can I get ya?” He exclaimed.
The man thought for a second, looking at the menu. “Did you say something about having a secret menu a second ago?”
A surprised look crossed Sodo’s face. He hadn’t realized this guy had witnessed him and Rain’s shenanigans.
“Uhh yeah… but you didn’t hear it from me!” Sodo exclaimed.
“Huh, cool,” was all the man said in response, “anyways, I’ll just have a regular big mac with fries on the side. Oh, and a soda.”
“Alright! Anything else I can get ya?” Sodo asked while handing the man a soda cup.
“Nope, that's it,” he responded.
Sodo watched as the card reader flashed green and beeped, signaling that the transaction was complete. “Well, we’ll have that right out for you sir, have a great day!” Sodo exclaimed.
“You too,” the man responded, heading over to wait by the counter for completed orders.
Sodo turned around to face Rain who asked, “Oh so now we have a secret menu? What’s on this so-called secret menu?”
Sodo huffed and responded, “You know… the uhh, parblob shake… the gorbl… whatever it was big mac…”
Rain nodded slowly, looking down at Sodo as he struggled to make up crazy names for his secret menu.
“Oh! There's the ghoulish nuggets!” Sodo exclaimed, smiling excitedly under his ghoul mask.
“What even is a ghoulish nugget?” Rain questioned, raising his voice slightly in exasperation.
“You know-” Sodo was abruptly cut off by a barking voice yelling from the kitchen:
“What the hell are you two up to out there?”
A second later, the kitchen door creaked open and Papa Nihil hobbled out, shooting a look at Rain and Sodo.
Rain gave Nihil an apologetic smile and responded, “Nothing sir, we were just discussing… uhh…”
“Who would win in a fight: me or Copia,” Sodo cut in, and Rain gave him an appreciative smile under his mask.
Nihil glared at the two ghouls for a couple seconds and grunted. “Well obviously not this little squirt,” Nihil grumbled, gesturing to Sodo, who threw his hands up in exasperation. “Now get back to work, the customers are waiting,” Nihil ordered, wagging his finger at the ghouls.
The two of them looked to the register, only to see that the line was empty.
“I think ‘ol Nihil is starting to lose it,” Sodo whispered in Rain’s ear as Nihil trudged back into the kitchen.
“ Starting? I think he's been losing it for a while, my friend,” Rain responded, letting out a deep laugh.
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For many of the Clergy's employees that worked in the pentagon, McDonalds was their favored choice for lunch. It was the only fast food chain that had lasted in the pentagon as long as it has.
For Terzo, it was no different. Every day his lunch consisted of a double cheeseburger with fries, and the occasional oreo mcflurry. It was his routine.
However, he was starting to get tired of the same thing every day. It was a dilemma because nothing else on the menu sounded good since he had already tried everything.
Terzo was just finishing filling out some paperwork in his office when there was a knock at his door.
“Come in!” he exclaimed, not looking up from his laptop.
“Well hey there, papa,” A flirtatious voice cooed.
Terzo recognized Omega’s smooth voice instantly and glanced up to see the tall ghoul leaning on the doorframe. “Omega,” he purred, “What brings you here?”
Omega moved away from the doorframe and sauntered over to Terzo’s desk. “I just wanted to see what you were up to bello mio” He cooed, putting a gloved hand on the desk and leaning in towards Terzo.
Terzo was about to respond when another voice yelled, “Omega! Where are you?”
Omega took a step back, and the two turned to the door to see Alpha barging in.
“Omega! There you are! Oh- am I interrupting something?” Alpha asked, with a teasing tone.
Omega rolled his eyes under his silver mask and replied flatly, “No Alpha, you're not.”
Alpha didn’t look fully convinced, but he continued anyways, “So what's up? Anything new around here?”
Terzo responded, “Not much, Omega was just helping me finish up some paperwork, and then I was going to go grab some lunch.”
Omega and Terzo exchanged a quick flirtatious glance, knowing the first part was a lie. Alpha didn’t seem to notice and he replied, “Oh nice. What's for lunch today, Terzo?”
“Hmm I wonder… maybe food from the only restaurant in this whole damn building?” Terzo exclaimed sarcastically.
“Oh yeah! Speaking of McDonalds…” Alpha commented, “Did you guys hear the rumor that they have a secret menu?”
A secret menu? Terzo was intrigued. “Really? What's on it?” he asked, genuinely curious.
“I can’t remember everything on the menu, I just heard this from Aether. I think he heard it from some guy whose desk is near his… Now that you mention it, I think I remember Aether mentioning ghoulish nuggets? And maybe a corlop?”
“What on earth is a corlop?” Omega questioned.
“I think it's some kind of drink?” Alpha concentrated as he tried to remember what else was on the menu, “I think there's also a gorblish big mac… and a parblob shake. That's all Aether knew of.”
“Huh, those are such strange names,” Terzo commented, wondering who came up with them.
Alpha suddenly straightened up and exclaimed, “Oh yeah, why I’m here! Omega, Sister Imperator needs your help with something. She says she needs you asap!”
“Did she say why,” Omega groaned, not wanting to be tasked with all of Sister’s errands.
“No but you should probably get a move on, don’t wanna leave Sister waiting, do you?” Alpha responded teasingly.
Omega grumbled some curses under his breath and sulked out of Terzo’s office, followed by Alpha.
Terzo’s stomach was starting to grumble. He decided his paperwork could wait until after lunch. Besides, he needed to find out if this secret menu thing was legit.
Terzo stood up and stretched, cracking his back. He grabbed his wallet, and headed out the door, towards the McDonalds in the middle of the Pentagon.
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Sodo checked his watch and realized that it was almost 11, which meant the lunch rush was starting soon.
Sodo and Rain were back on register duty, however this time accompanied by Sunshine to help them with the lunch rush. Mountain, Aurora, Cumulus, and the Cardinal were on kitchen duty, and Nihil was probably asleep in his office.
Sodo was working the middle register, and he was just handing the customer a receipt. “Have a great day!” He exclaimed.
“You too!” The woman responded, giving him a smile, and walked over to the other counter for finished orders.
Just then Papa Emeritus III strutted up to the counter, looking rather excited.
“Hey Papa! Or… can I call you daddy,” Sodo teased, attempting to blow Terzo a kiss.
Terzo glared at Sodo and responded, “Just Terzo. How many times do I need to tell you, Sodo.”
“Aww, is your precious little Omega jealous that I get to call you-” Sodo was cut off as Terzo grabbed a ketchup packet off the counter and threw it at Sodo, hitting the eye lens of his mask.
“You know, if you keep pulling this shit, I can have Sister fire you any day now,” Terzo grumbled, only half joking.
Sodo put up his hands in defense, “Hey man, I’m just joking around here. It’s not every day a handsome fellow like yourself shows up here.” Sodo knew Terzo was done with his teasing, but he had to throw in one more flirty compliment just for good measure.
Terzo rolled his eyes and Sodo asked, “So is it just the usual for today?”
Terzo thought for a minute. “Actually, no. I think I want to try something different… you know, more secret?” He gave Sodo a wink, trying to hint about the secret menu.
“More secret?” Sodo asked, genuinely confused about what Terzo meant.
“You know… the uhh, corlop?” Terzo hinted, lowering his voice a little so the other customers wouldn’t overhear.
Sodo still looked a little confused so Terzo continued, “And the… ghoulish nuggets?”
A wave of surprise and confusion washed over Sodo as he remembered when he and Rain had been goofing around a few days ago and came up with fake menu items.
“Where the hell did you hear about that?” Sodo questioned.
Terzo was taken aback by Sodo’s sharp tone. Damn, this secret menu thing must be a really secret thing… “I just know these kinds of things, y’know? I’m very in the loop.”
How does he know about that? He seems to think it’s a real thing…
Sodo thought for another moment. Oh! That one guy overheard us! He asked me about the menu. He must be spreading a rumor that we really have a secret menu!
“Alright… Well I’ll get you that… corlop. And the ghoulish nuggets. Is there anything else I can get you?” Sodo asked, hoping that was it. What have I gotten myself into… he thought.
“Yeah I also want the parblob shake. That's it,” Terzo responded, holding out his credit card to the reader.
Sodo sighed, and replied, “Alright I’ll get that right out to you. Since it’s off of the…” he lowered his tone to a whisper, “ secret menu… it might take a little bit longer.”
Terzo shrugged, “That's fine, I can wait. I just want to see what on earth these secret menu foods are.”
Sodo handed Terzo the receipt, and ran over to Rain before the next customer could come to his register. “Rain! Code red! I need your help!” He exclaimed.
Rain jumped at Sodo’s sudden exclamation but responded, “What’s up? Are you okay?”
“Yeah I’m fine. But remember the other day when we made up fake things on the menu?” He asked urgently.
“Yeah? Sorry one sec,” Rain turned back to his customer, “Here’s your receipt, have a nice day!”
“Anyways,” Sodo continued when Rain was done, “Terzo somehow found out about this, but he thinks that we actually have a secret menu and those are actually secret menu items. And he just ordered some of it!”
“What?” Rain exclaimed, “Did he know we made them up?”
Sodo shook his head, “No, it sounded like he heard about this so-called ‘secret menu’ from someone else. Ok look- can you and Sunshine handle the register without me for a bit? I need to figure out what on earth a ghoulish nugget is.”
Rain laughed, ignoring Sodo’s annoyed look, and replied, “Yeah sure, just be quick. The lunch rush is starting.”
“Thank you Rain!” Sodo exclaimed, and ran back to the kitchen.
He decided to start with the drink- the corlop. What if I just mix a bunch of drinks together? That’s a great idea! Sodo thought as he grabbed a cup and started to fill the bottom with Coca Cola.
Hmmm… maybe some Dr. Pepper? He filled the cup up to a little over half way with the Dr. Pepper. And to top it off, maybe some sprite? That will be a weird taste, He thought, topping the cup off with the Sprite.
Sodo turned around and was about to start working on his milkshake concoction when Cumulus stopped him.
“What on earth do you think you’re doing here, Sodo?” Cumulus interjected, blocking his path.
Sweat formed on Sodo’s brow as he responded frantically, “Ok long story short… I might have accidentally started some rumors that we have a secret menu. And Terzo tried to order off of it. And like- I can’t say no to Terzo! He could get Sister to-”
“Okay, okay, calm down,” she interrupted, “Does Terzo even know what he was ordering off the secret menu? Because that drink does not look appetizing.”
“No…” Sodo responded, “He just knew the names of the things Rain and I made up.”
Cumulus sighed. “Okay, you know what? This isn’t my problem. You… keep making whatever you’re making now. Just don’t ask me for help when Nihil finds out.”
“Thank you Cumulus!” Sodo breathed, resuming his milkshake making. He decided to do a little bit of everything: chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and of course some of the shamrock shake. Sodo figured it wouldn’t hurt to sprinkle some oreos on the top, just for good measure.
Now time for the ghoulish nuggets. Sodo ran to the back of the kitchen to find the cardinal was currently baking some chicken nuggets.
“Copia, I need your help! What would you expect when you imagine ghoulish nuggets?” Sodo asked, frantically.
Copia thought for a second. “Hmmm maybe nuggets shaped like a ghoul? Why?”
“I’ve gotten myself into a pickle,” Sodo whined, “Terzo ordered some ‘ghoulish nuggets’ because I accidentally spread a rumor about a secret menu. Also that would be a great idea, but I don't think we have time to try and make that happen.”
“Yeah, you’re right… What if you draw on the chicken nuggets with barbecue sauce? Like you could try and draw a ghoul mask?” Copia offered, scooping some nuggets into a box for Sodo.
“Great idea, thank you Copia!” Sodo responded gratefully, and ran off to find the barbecue sauce.
He found some over by the ice cream machines, and ran back to the nuggets.
To the best of his abilities, Sodo attempted to draw ghoul masks on the nuggets.
It really was just a bunch of blobs of barbecue sauce. But it would have to do. Sodo grabbed the drink, shake, and nuggets, and ran back out to the front. It had been 10 minutes at this point so Terzo was probably getting impatient.
He spotted Terzo leaning against the wall near the registers, and ran over. “Terzo! I have your order!” He announced.
“Hey Sodo! Took you long enough, jeez. This secret menu thing really is a big deal I guess.”
Sodo shoved the food into Terzo’s hands, waved goodbye, and ran off before Terzo got the chance to question anything he just received.
Sodo ran into the back to catch his breath, and waited for Terzo to leave before he returned to the register. After a minute passed, he cautiously ventured back out there and joined Rain at the register.
“You got away with it?” Rain asked, “What on earth did you make him?”
“Let’s just say… he will be trying some strange drink combinations,” Sodo responded, with a mischievous laugh.
Rain laughed and rolled his eyes at his friend’s shenanigans. “I don’t even wanna know what you put in there.” Rain gave Sodo a playful elbow in the ribs, and the two of them resumed their spots at the register.