Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Ness and Loki were sprawled across the floor of Loki’s room, controllers in hand, eyes locked on the TV as the chaotic theme music of Cartoon Combat: Revenge of the Toons blasted in the background.

With a final, perfectly-timed throw, Ness’s ridiculous-looking clown character lobbed a bomb straight at Loki’s pirate fox, sealing yet another victory.

“HELL YEAH!” Ness shot his arms into the air like he’d just won the World Cup. “Nine wins in a row! Bow before your superior, peasant!”

Loki groaned, tossing his controller aside. “Putain! This game is rigged. There’s no way that clown should be able to throw bombs faster than I can move!”

Ness cackled so hard he nearly choked. “Nah, bro. That’s called skill. You just can’t handle my mad toon strats.”

Loki shot him a glare, but the smirk tugging at his lips betrayed him. “You’re lucky we’re playing this nonsense. Put us in FIFA, and I’d destroy you like always.”

"FIFA?" Ness scoffed. “Please. This is a real game. Not some running simulator for football nerds.”

Loki smirked, grabbed a handful of candy from the bed, and pelted it at Ness. “You talk big for someone who cries every time I smack you 5–0.”

“That was one time!” Ness protested, dodging a rogue gummy bear.

“One time?” Loki arched a brow. “More like every time, mister ‘I-just-need-to-warm-up.’”

Ness snatched a pillow and launched it at him, still laughing. “Whatever, man. You’re just salty because you got wrecked by a clown throwing pies. Admit it—I’m the better gamer.”

Loki flopped back dramatically. “Better gamer, sure. But if we’re counting actual skill—like, you know, football—my record speaks for itself.”

“Bro, we are literally not talking about football right now,” Ness deadpanned, restarting the game. “Stay in the toon world, Julian. You can’t handle me here.”

Loki smirked, grabbing his controller. “Fine. But when I win, you’re admitting I’m superior at everything.”

“You can dream,” Ness shot back.

The match started. Seconds later, Ness’s clown absolutely obliterated Loki’s pirate fox again.

Loki’s increasingly loud stream of curses had Ness laughing so hard he nearly collapsed.

Somewhere down the hall, someone banged on the wall. “KEEP IT DOWN, YOU PSYCHOS!”

Loki groaned, rubbing his face. “You are the most annoying guest ever.”

“And yet, you keep inviting me back,” Ness smirked, dodging another candy missile.

As the next match loaded, Loki’s phone buzzed—again. And again. And again. The screen practically lit up like a disco ball on steroids.

Ness, who had been not looking at it for the past five minutes, finally gave up. “Bro, what is going on with your phone? It’s shaking like it’s about to self-destruct.”

Loki sighed, still refusing to look away from the screen. “Ignore it. It’s probably the PxG group chat, and I am not mentally ready to deal with them right now.”

Ness smirked, stretching his legs out lazily. “Why not? Are they roasting you or something?”

“No,” Loki replied flatly. “But as their coach, I have to respond. And let’s just say, wrangling those maniacs is not for the weak.”

Ness leaned back, grinning. “So you’re just gonna let them spiral while you sit here getting clapped in a game? Bold move, coach.”

"Clapped? You’re barely winning," Loki muttered, sighing dramatically as he finally paused the game. He grabbed his phone off the bed, unlocked it—then immediately paled.

"Oh. Mon dieu..."

Ness, who had been watching him like a hawk, wasted no time lunging forward. "What? What is it?"

Loki instinctively turned his phone away, but Ness was faster.

"Let me see!"

"Alex, don’t—!" Loki groaned, twisting in a desperate attempt to snatch it back.

Too late.

Ness, grinning like he just found buried treasure, scanned the screen as his eyes lit up with mischief.

Karasu

Loki, coach, check Twitter right now. You're #1 trending 😂🤣🤣

Shidou

LMAO, ‘Loki X Ness’ is trending. Congrats, lover boy 😈😈.

Rin

Why do I have to be associated with idiots like you?

Charles

JULIANNN 😜😝😋 I DIDN'T KNOW U WERE SO FREAKYYY 😈😈 #Julexi or #Alexian?

Loki

How about neither.

Zantetsu

Wait, who are Julexi and Alexian? Did we sign new players?🧐

Shidou

💀
SOMEONE explain it to Zantetsu before I LOSE IT.

Ness howled with laughter, nearly rolling off the bed.

"Bro, we’ve got ship names? That’s insane!"

Loki yanked his phone back, scrolling furiously with growing horror. "It’s because of those damn Blue Lock live recordings. Apparently, our dramatic goodbye got posted, and now people think we’re some tragic love story."

"Tragic love story?" Ness wheezed. "Nah, that’s gold. Do they not know you’re just a moody French guy, and I was messing around?"

Loki shot him a withering look. "They’re fans, Alexis. They’ll believe whatever they want. And now I have to deal with this."

More screenshots flooded the chat—tweets from fans losing their minds.

@BlueLockFanatic

Loki and Ness saying goodbye was so emotional 😭 Loki’s face broke me. #LokiXNess

@ABOOGIE

THEY WERE ROBBED OF TIME TOGETHER. GIVE US A SPINOFF SERIES. #LokiXNess

@ChaosShidou

This duo is unhinged, and I’m here for it.

@JulexiSupremacy

The way Ness looked back at Loki like he wanted to say something but COULDN’T. The angst. The longing. The tension. I’m sick.

@PxGweeb

Somebody explain why Ness is the chaotic golden retriever and Loki is the exhausted single dad who gave up years ago.

Ness snatched a pillow and smacked Loki with it. "WAIT. Someone called us a chaotic golden retriever and an exhausted single dad—bro, that’s actually perfect!"

Loki rubbed his temples, already regretting his life choices. "This is a nightmare."

Ness wasn’t done. He leaned in again, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Wait, let me see the tweets. I need to know what people are saying about me."

Loki immediately held the phone out of reach. "No. You’re nosy enough as it is."

"Aw, come on," Ness grinned, making a grab for it. "We’re trending, bro. Embrace the fame!"

"Fame?" Loki scoffed, dodging as Ness lunged for the phone again. "It’s infamy. And now I have to go calm my team down before they start printing ‘Loki X Ness’ merch."

"Hey, don’t knock it," Ness smirked. "Might make for a good side hustle. I’ll even sign autographs."

Loki dramatically flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. "You’re the worst."

"Yeah, yeah," Ness grinned, grabbing his controller. "Now hurry up. We’ve got another match to play, mon cœur."

Loki immediately threw a candy at his head.

"OWW! Bitch, bye the way, we’re number one trending," Ness announced smugly, holding up his phone like a trophy. "Looks like we make a pretty good team after all."

Loki slumped back against the couch, still glaring at his screen like it had personally betrayed him. Ness, meanwhile, looked like he’d just won the damn lottery.

"So," Ness continued, barely holding back his laughter, "how do you think the fanfics are gonna turn out?"

Loki’s head snapped up. "Fanfics?" His expression twisted in horror. "You're kidding, right?"

Ness’ grin stretched wider. "Oh, I’m dead serious. You know some fan is already cooking up a masterpiece titled ‘Forbidden Goals: The Loki x Ness Saga.’”

Loki let out a long, pained groan and buried his face in his hands. "Please, no. Not that."

"Oh, but yes," Ness said gleefully, leaning into the bit. "I bet they’ll paint you as the brooding French prince with a tragic backstory, and me? The charming, roguish asshole who teaches you how to love again."

Loki’s voice was muffled behind his palms. "You’re literally describing a trashy romance novel."

"Exactly!" Ness cackled. "You’d be all like, ‘Oh, Alexis, my heart beats only for you,’ and I’d be like, ‘Shut up and pass the ball, drama queen.’”

Loki lifted his head just enough to squint at him. "You’re insufferable."

"And you’re doomed," Ness shot back, grinning. "Once you're trending, the fanfic writers are coming for us hard. I’ve seen it happen to Michael and Yoichi, to Ronaldo and Messi, to Gavi and Perdi—"

Loki grabbed the nearest pillow and launched it at him. "Stop. I don’t need those images in my head."

Ness dodged effortlessly, laughing. "Too late! And don’t even get me started on the fanart. Someone’s probably already drawn us sharing a ‘tender moment’ on the pitch."

Loki groaned louder, dragging his hands down his face. "You're making it worse."

"I’m just preparing you," Ness said, shrugging innocently. "When they tag us in their spicy works, don’t say I didn’t warn you."

Loki just stared at him, the weight of that sentence settling into his soul like an anchor dragging him to the depths of hell.

"Spicy works," he repeated blankly, like his brain had short-circuited. "As in…?"

Ness waggled his eyebrows. "Oh, you know what I mean."

Loki looked off into the distance, eyes hollow. "Mon dieu." His entire career flashed before his eyes—years of training, sacrifice, and dedication—only for it all to lead to this.

"Spicy works," he whispered again, gripping his own arms like he was holding himself together. "Ness, I can’t—"

"Oh, you will," Ness said, far too entertained. "And when you see that first… illustration?" He whistled. "It’s gonna change you."

Loki exhaled like a man on the verge of spiritual collapse. "I am not built for this."

Ness, meanwhile, had fully leaned back into the couch, grinning like a demon. "Don't worry, I’ll be right there with you, buddy."

Loki turned to him, eyes filled with pure betrayal. "That is not comforting."

Loki’s phone buzzed again. He stared at it like it might explode, then—against his better judgment—picked it up.

A Twitter notification glared back at him:

@BLFictionQueen: “You may be the fastest player I’ve ever met, but you’ll never outrun my heart.” – Ness to Loki in my new fic 💕🔥 Check it out: #LokiXNess

Loki’s soul left his body. His fingers twitched over the screen, hovering between blocking the account and throwing his phone off a cliff.

Ness peeked over his shoulder, read the tweet, and immediately lost it. He doubled over, wheezing. “It’s already happening!” he howled, clutching his stomach. “Oh my God, we’re someone’s muse!”

Loki let out a long, suffering groan and collapsed onto the couch. “This is officially the worst day of my life.”

“And the best day of mine,” Ness cackled, wiping a tear from his eye. “I swear, I’ve never been happier.”

Loki tossed his phone onto the couch like it was contaminated. “I’m deleting Twitter. And the group chat. Effective immediately.”

Before he could follow through, Ness snatched the phone with the reflexes of a man truly invested in chaos. His eyes gleamed as he scrolled. “Ohhh, this is gold.” He read faster, laughter bubbling up with every passing second.

Loki folded his arms and glared. “Why are you enjoying this so much? You’re acting like you just won the lottery.”

Ness didn’t even look up, grinning like a madman. “Better. I’m trending more than Michael and Isagi.”

Loki exhaled sharply, running a hand down his face. “You are truly the worst person I know.”

“And yet,” Ness mused, showing him another tweet, “I’m apparently also the love of your life.”

Loki stared at the tweet. Then at Ness. Then back at the tweet.

His suffering had no end.

"And besides, this shit is so funny," Ness said, casually holding his phone out to Loki. Loki leaned in, slinging his arm around Ness’s shoulder, a small grin tugging at his lips as he glanced down at the screen.

"You’ve got way too much free time," Loki remarked, shaking his head in mock disbelief.

But despite himself, he leaned in even closer as the screen filled with chaotic fan reactions:

“Loki and Ness are the slow-burn we never knew we needed 💖🔥 #LokiXNess”

“The way Loki looked at Ness in that clip? Don’t tell me that’s not love.”

“Ness saying goodbye to Loki like he was going off to war. I’m crying. 😭”

Others were debating their on-field compatibility:

“Okay, but hear me out: if Loki and Ness were on the same team, they’d dominate. Loki’s speed and Ness’s precision? Unstoppable.”

“I don’t think they’d work. Loki’s too tactical, and Ness only vibes with Kaiser. It’d be chaos.”

And then there were the skeptics:

“Why are y’all making everything gay? They’re just bros.”

“Bromance or not, that was a cute moment. Chill.”

Ness scrolled further and burst out laughing. "Oh my God, look at this one. Someone wrote a thread analyzing our ‘on-screen chemistry.’ This is insane."

Loki groaned but couldn’t resist moving closer to see better. Ness immediately caught on and smirked. "Oh, now you’re interested?" he teased.

"Shut up," Loki muttered, eyes glued to the screen.

Ness mockingly imitated him. "‘I don’t want to deal with this.’ Yeah, right. Look at you, fully invested now."

"Shut up, Alexis," Loki repeated, though he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Ness rolled his eyes and opened Instagram, smirking as he typed away. "You know what? Let’s make this even funnier."

"What are you doing?" Loki asked suspiciously.

"You’ll see," Ness replied, still typing. A moment later, he posted an Instagram story: a screenshot of one of the Twitter debates with the caption:

Within minutes, comments flooded in:

“Ness is unhinged, I love it😭”

“NOT INDILA BRO, I CAN’T BREATHE.😱”

“He really said homiesexual with his whole chest. I respect it 🙏💯”

“This is why Ness is my favorite BM player. Absolute chaos.😈”

Loki groaned, shaking his head. "You’re impossible."

"And you’re overreacting," Ness said, wiping tears from his eyes. "Come on, just embrace it. #LokiXNess is forever, my dude."

Loki shot him a glare but couldn't help the small laugh that slipped out. "I genuinely hate you sometimes."

"Yeah, yeah," Ness waved him off with a smirk. "I’ll pretend to believe that."

His phone buzzed again, and he glanced at the screen. "Oh, great. Just got a message from the BM group chat. They said it’s important."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Really? What do you think it’s about?"

Ness let out a dramatic sigh. "If I had to guess? Probably an interrogation. They're nosy as hell."

Loki clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Good luck with that, my brother."

"Thanks, munchkin," Ness said, deadpan.

Loki immediately recoiled. "Never call me that again."

"No promises," Ness shot back as he stood up and stretched. "Alright, time to go face the wolves."

Loki shook his head as Ness made his way toward the door. "Try not to make it worse."

"Me?" Ness gasped, feigning innocence. "I would never."

Loki just stared.

Ness laughed. "Okay, fine. Maybe a little."

With that, he walked out, heading toward the Bastard München common area where his teammates were waiting to grill him about his new internet-famous bromance.

Ness walked into the Bastard München locker room as the messages had instructed, expecting maybe a couple of his teammates waiting to question him.

Instead, he stepped inside and immediately froze. Everyone was there. The Blue Lock players. The Germans. All of them, staring at him like he was some rare zoo animal.

"Shit," Ness muttered, looking around. "Did I forget we had training?"

Ali leaned against a locker, smirking. "Nah, you’re good. No training today."

Ness narrowed his eyes. "Then why the hell are you all gathered here like some intervention?"

Theo crossed his arms. "We wanna talk."

"Interrogation," Birkenstock corrected.

Hiori nodded. "Investigation, if you will."

"You’re Twitter trending now, Ness," Grim added, grinning. "Gotta address the gossip."

Ness blinked. "Are you guys seriously holding a team meeting just to discuss my trending status?"

Igor, one of the Germans, nodded. "Of course. This is big news."

Before Ness could respond, Raichi—of all people—pointed at him accusingly. "So? You and Loki. What’s going on there?"

Ness burst out laughing. "Oh my god, you guys are worse than the internet."

"You’re dodging the question," Ali shot back, grinning.

"Yeah, because it’s a stupid question!" Ness retorted. "Nothing is going on!"

No one looked convinced. In fact, Hiori pulled out his phone and started scrolling. "That’s funny, ‘cause according to Twitter, y’all are either secretly dating, long-lost soulmates, or about to have the most intense rivals-to-lovers arc in football history."

Ness groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "I hate the internet."

"You sure?" Yukimiya smirked. "From what I’ve seen, you’ve been encouraging it."

"In my defense," Ness started, holding up a finger, "it was funny."

"Bro, you literally posted Indila's Love Story over a picture of you and Loki looking depressed," Isagi deadpanned.

Ness shrugged. "Ummm actually it was over a screenshot."

Everyone groaned.

"You’re impossible," Gessner muttered.

"Okay, okay, but real talk," Ali said, crossing his arms. "Loki’s your boy now? Since when? I thought y’all didn’t even talk before."

Ness hesitated for a second, then shrugged again. "I dunno. We just started hanging out. He’s actually cool."

Kaiser, who had been quiet the entire time, scoffed from where he was leaning against the lockers. "And now you're best friends just like that? Pathetic."

Something about his tone made Ness glance at him, but Kaiser was already looking away, uninterested.

Did I do something wrong? Ness thought, a strange chill creeping in before he shook it off.

Before he could dwell on it, Ali clapped his hands together. "Alright, so are we feeding into the Loki x Ness agenda or shutting it down?"

"Feeding into it, obviously, are you stupid?" Theo said.

Ness groaned dramatically. "I hate you all."

Grim smirked, nudging Ness with his elbow. "So, Loki, huh? Of all people, you two just clicked like that?"

Mensah crossed his arms, tilting his head. "Yeah, I swear you barely tolerated the guy last week. Now suddenly, you’re defending him, defending him?"

"I’m not defending him," Ness sighed. "I’m just saying he’s—"

"—Actually cool, yeah, yeah, we heard you," Ndiaye cut in, grinning. "But seriously, how did this happen? Loki doesn’t even talk that much, and somehow, you guys became besties overnight?"

Ness rolled his eyes. "We just get along, alright? It’s not that deep."

"Sounds pretty deep to me," Yukimiya muttered, amused.

Ali snickered. "Of all the nationalities, though, Alexis had to go for a Frenchman."

The moment the words left his mouth, the German players collectively groaned.

"Of course, it’s a Frenchman," Grim muttered, shaking his head.

"They act like they invented football," Mensah added.

"Overrated," Sachs chimed in. "They talk too much, play too fancy, and act like they’re above everyone else."

"And don’t get me started on their obsession with bread and cheese," Ndiaye sighed. "It’s just bread and cheese, not a personality trait."

"I swear, every French player I’ve met has acted like they were the main character of football," Birkenstock added, rubbing his temples.

"Don’t forget the way they get dramatic over the smallest fouls," Igor muttered. "One tap and they act like they’ve been shot."

Just as the conversation was spiraling, a sharp throat clearing cut through the locker room.

Noel Noa.

Silence.

The German players all froze, suddenly very aware of what they had just been saying.

Noel stood there, arms crossed, expression unreadable.

Ali coughed into his fist. "Uh… in our defense, we kind of forgot you were here."

Ness sighed, rubbing his temples. "You guys are unbelievable."

Noel’s expression didn’t change. "Yeah, right."

Before Ness could tell them to mind their own business, his phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen—and immediately burst out laughing. It was a photo of Loki tied to a chair in a dark room, a single flashlight shining in his face like some kind of interrogation scene. The caption read: The consequences of withholding important information from us.

Right below it was a smug-looking selfie of Shidou, Charles, and Karasu, grinning like they’d just won the lottery.

Ness laughed so hard he nearly collapsed, only saved by Theo grabbing his arm. "What the hell is so funny?" Theo asked, frowning. Still wheezing, Ness flipped his phone around for him to see. Theo squinted. "What the fuck?"

Without hesitation, Ness dialed Loki. The call barely rang before someone picked up. "Yo," Shidou’s voice came through, sounding way too amused. "You’ve reached Loki’s one and only phone call. Time limit: fifteen minutes. Make it count."

Ness blinked, still laughing. "One call? Fifteen minutes? What is this, prison? Is he a convicted criminal now?"

Loki’s voice came in, calm but tinged with irritation, a contrast to the chaotic tone of the others. "Alexis, I need you to stop laughing. This is serious. I am being held hostage—what the hell?"

Ness wiped his eyes, trying to compose himself. "Bro, you know I care about you, but I can't promise you that. This situation? It’s hilarious."

"Fuck you," Loki muttered. There was a moment of silence before Loki’s tone shifted into something more clipped and commanding. "I’m being serious. These idiots wanted to know everything about how you and I got close. I gave them the most basic answer possible, but apparently, that wasn't enough. So they tied me up and told me I couldn’t leave until I spilled the details." He sighed, a tired but resolute exhale. "Is this even legal?"

Ness struggled to breathe between laughs. "I don’t think it is."

"Alexis, stop laughing, you’re making it worse." Loki’s voice dropped, his irritation rising. "Listen. If Shidou, Charles, and Karasu don't release me soon, they’ll be running laps until their lungs collapse, and then they’re running more. By the time I get out, they’ll be begging me to put them out of their misery."

Ness paused, the humor fading a bit in response to Loki’s calm but chilling tone. "Bro, you’re seriously threatening them while tied up?"

"I’m not playing games here," Loki replied, his voice steady, not a hint of hesitation. "Next season, I’m going to humiliate you. 5-1. Manifesting it."

"Sure thing, if you make it out of there alive."

Loki sighed again, sounding almost philosophical. "They’ll get bored eventually, and I’ll make my escape. The only question is whether I’ll still be able to play after this."

"Let me know if you survive before next season," Ness teased, chuckling, but his tone was a little more subdued now.

His teammates, who had been listening in, exchanged glances. None of them could understand how those two had become so close so quickly. They’d always known Ness didn’t make friends easily—except with a select few, including Kaiser—but the bond between him and Loki? That was a whole different thing.