Chapter Text
Minhyuk yawned as he entered the kitchen of their shared apartment. He spotted a sticky note on the surface of the fridge. He moved closer to get a better look. A warm smile spread across his lips. Hyungwon went out to buy them breakfast. Minhyuk grinned. He was looking forward to the unexpected treat.
Minhyuk sat on the couch and sent Hyungwon a quick text. He reclined on the couch, pleased. Minhyuk picked up the remote from the table. Before he could turn on the television, the sound of knocking caught his attention. He frowned, wondering who could be at the door.
Minhyuk got up from the couch. He wasn’t expecting any visitors. Minhyuk looked through the peephole. His eyes widened.
“What are you doing here?” Minhyuk asked after he opened the door.
Minhyuk glared long and hard at Kihyun. Kihyun didn’t say a word. Minhyuk crossed his arms, annoyed. The last person he wanted to see on a bright and beautiful Saturday morning was Yoo Kihyun.
“Hyungwon isn’t here, if that is who you are looking for,” Minhyuk said, eyes narrowed.
“Oh,” Kihyun said, softly. “Where did he go?”
“What are you doing here Kihyun?” Minhyuk asked, leaning against the doorframe.
“I’m actually not here for Hyungwon, well not exactly,” Kihyun said.
Minhyuk raised a single brow.
“What? So, you came here to see me then?”
Kihyun didn’t respond.
“No,” Minhyuk said. “You need to leave. I’m going to close the door and you are going to disappear.”
“Wait,” Kihyun said. “Please, just wait. I—I just want to talk.”
“And I just want you to leave. So, do that.”
“Min I-”
Minhyuk glared. He couldn’t believe Kihyun was standing in front of him. Minhyuk was certain he wouldn’t have to interact with the other man ever again. However, he guessed it had all been wishful thinking.
“I'll say it again. Leave.”
Minhyuk went to close the door but then stopped when he heard something.
“What did you say?” Minhyuk asked.
“I never meant to hurt you.”
Minhyuk laughed.
“Yeah, that's what I thought. You can leave now.”
“It's been ten years, Minhyuk. Ten long years. I don't want it to be another ten. Please, let's just talk.”
Minhyuk shrugged, pushing open the door to allow Kihyun to enter. He took a seat on the couch, placing his arms behind his head. Kihyun grabbed a chair, placed it in the living room, and then took a seat. Minhyuk wanted to tell Kihyun to sit on the floor, but decided against it.
“You want to talk? Let's talk,” Minhyuk said, amused. “So where do you want to start? Perhaps, we should talk about how you tortured me for hours when I was kid. Or perhaps we should talk about the next day. The next day you didn’t say anything to me. Or wait! Let’s talk about how you are the reason Hyungwon was in danger in the first place. I’ll let you pick.”
“Do you think I wanted to hurt you?” Kihyun asked. “I already told you. I didn’t have any intentions of hurting you. Minhyuk, I was just a kid. I–”
“Shut up! I was a kid too,” Minhyuk said, moisture collecting in his eyes. “I was just a kid. I did nothing to you. Nothing at all!”
“I know,” Kihyun said, shrinking into himself. “I–I know.”
“That’s great that you know,” Minhyuk said, annoyed.
“Min,” Kihyun said. “My powers were—”
“Stop right there,” Minhyuk said. “I don’t want to hear the same thing over and over again.”
“What else can I say?” Kihyun asked, moisture collecting in his eyes. “I honestly didn’t know what I was doing back then. I barely understood my powers. I had to learn everything on my own. Most of the time I didn’t even know what I was doing. I was just so afraid of being feared and othered.”
Minhyuk shook his head, amused. The conversation wasn’t new to him. They had the same conversation not too long ago. Kihyun had said the same things.
“I think it's funny how you refuse to take responsibility for your actions,” Minhyuk said. “You really want me to believe you had no idea what you were doing? So, you don’t remember anything you’ve done at all? How convenient. So, you don’t remember the poor woman from the ice cream parlor? Did you forget all about her too? She was just minding her business and then you came along and tore her mind in two.”
Kihyun became silent.
“Ah, so you do remember your evil deeds after all?” Minhyuk asked. “Let me continue to jog your memory since you think you are oh so good. Let’s see— at the end of sophomore year you–”
“Don’t,” Kihyun said, interrupting him, voice soft. “Please.”
Minhyuk smirked, arms crossed and head tilted to the side.
“Like I said, you refuse to take responsibility for anything you’ve done,” he said. “Expected of a monster.”
“I’m not a monster,” Kihyun said, eyes narrowed.
Minhyuk snorted, getting to his feet. He was done entertaining Kihyun. He had been right about the other all along. Unfortunately, he realized he was going to have a hard time convincing Hyungwon.
“Now, like I said before. Leave,” Minhyuk said. “While I’m still being nice.”
“Minhyuk, please,” Kihyun said. “Please don’t shut me out again. Please.”
Minhyuk walked to the door, ready to open it.
“You saved Hyungwon earlier so I guess you did one thing right,” Minhyuk said. “But again, we wouldn’t have gotten into that mess if it wasn’t for you. So, thanking you doesn’t really make sense.”
“Please, Min, please,” Kihyun said, voice shaking. “Please, don’t do this to me again.”
“I don’t care! Get out!”
“I’m sorry, Min,” Kihyun said, staying in the chair. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please.”
Minhyuk opened the door and gestured toward the exit. He was emotionally exhausted and wanted rest. Minhyuk pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He glanced at the time confused. Hyungwon should have been back.
“Everyday since the day we stopped talking, I wished my power would be taken away from me.”
Minhyuk paused for a second.
“A day after my highschool graduation party, all I could think about was how I could get rid of my curse,” Kihyun said. “I remember calling you and Hyungwon the day of my party and my call went straight to voicemail. I remember I couldn't breathe. I once thought my power was special, unique. But after that day, I realized I was horribly wrong.”
“Why did you tell me that?” Minhyuk asked.
“I don't know,” Kihyun said. “I-I just wanted you to know I guess. You and Hyungwon meant the world to me. You were like my brothers. And I wish that I could turn back time and stop myself from hurting you. I wish I could go back but I can't. And it hurts my heart so bad.”
Kihyun got up from the chair and walked slowly towards him. Minhyuk frowned. Kihyun’s tear stained face came into view. Minhyuk wondered when he would know true peace.
“I just hate it so much cause I remember we used to be inseparable. We were a team. Everyone knew it,” he said.
Minhyuk didn't respond. Instead he tightened his grip on the door knob. He should have never let Kihyun enter the apartment. Minhyuk avoided Kihyun’s face.
“And now,” Kihyun said, lips trembling. “Now you won't even look at me anymore. And I–I just really miss you and Won. I miss you both so much.”
Uncontrollable sobs escaped Kihyun’s lips as he stood nearby him. Minhyuk didn’t know what to say.
“Minhyuk?”
Minhyuk looked away from Kihyun and turned toward Hyungwon. Hyungwon held a medium sized bag in his hands. The paper bag read Morning Start. If he remembered correctly, the food belonged to a breakfast place that was located an hour away.
“Kihyun?” Hyungwon asked. “Kihyun, you're–you're here.”
Kihyun didn't stop crying. Hyungwon entered the apartment, dropping the food onto their kitchen table. Hyungwon walked over to the door and closed it as he gently moved Minhyuk out of the way.
“Wait,” Hyungwon said. “Kihyun, are you alright? Has something happened?”
“Thanks for breakfast, Hyungwon,” Minhyuk said, trying to change the subject.
“Kihyun, are you alright? Are you sure you should be out here,” he said. “You were unconscious for a while. Are you sure you should be out and about?”
“Don't worry about him,” Minhyuk said. “He was just leaving.”
Kihyun stood up straight, wiping the tears from his eyes.
“Right, I shouldn’t have come here,” Kihyun said, walking around Hyungwon.
“Ki, wait,” Hyungwon said.
“Let him go, Hyungwon,” Minhyuk said. “It’s better we keep our distance. Nothing good has come from meeting Kihyun after all these years. I mean you were kidnapped and tortured because of Kihyun. Let’s just move forward and–”
“Shut up, Minhyuk,” Hyungwon said, voice wavering. “Just–just shut up. I can speak for myself. I–please stop.”
Minhyuk’s eyes widened.
“Hyungwon?”
“I’m sorry Min, but,” Hyungwon said. “I just can’t move past this. We’ve all been through so much and yes we wouldn’t have been in this situation originally but –I don’t know. Min, Kihyun saved us. Do you understand? He saved us. We all could have died.”
“Hyungwon, don’t,” Minhyuk said. “Don’t you dare. He is the reason we almost died in the first place. That monster was trying to use you to get to him. Don’t you get it? That monster knew Kihyun’s history somehow and used it against him. If we kept ignoring Kihyun we wouldn’t have gotten mixed up in all of this.”
“You don’t know that,” Hyungwon said. “What if we ignored him and all of this still happened?”
Minhyuk frowned.
“What? That doesn’t make sense.”
“It does,” Hyungwon said. “Min, I’m so sorry you went through such a horrific thing when we were younger. I’m so sorry you suffered alone but– I don’t know. I just–I miss Kihyun. I miss you. You haven’t been the same since we graduated from high school all those years ago. I hardly know you anymore.”
“And what? You know Kihyun so much better? Hyungwon, that’s not fair. You don’t know what I went through. You don’t. I suffered when I was so young. And–and you are on Kihyun’s side?”
Hyungwon got super quiet.
“So that’s it,” Minhyuk said, voice dripping with sadness. “You’d rather go back to being friends with someone who tortured me? Just like that? I–I can’t do this. I have to go.”
Minhyuk suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. It felt like the walls were closing in on him. All he had wanted was to leave Kihyun behind. He wanted to leave the bad part of his childhood in the past. Yet, Hyungwon refused to move on and instead wanted to side with Kihyun. Minhyuk wiped a stray tear from his right eye, feeling betrayed. He turned toward the door, ready to walk out. Minhyuk didn’t know where he wanted to go. All he knew was he had to get away from them.
Minhyuk’s eyes widened the moment he spotted Kihyun standing in front of the door. Anger rose within him at the sight of the determined expression on Kihyun’s face. He couldn’t believe Kihyun was keeping him from leaving.
“You won alright,” Minhyuk said. “Can you just leave? Just let me leave.”
Kihyun shook his head.
“No, Min,” Kihyun said, voice soft. “I can’t do that. You’re my best friend, so is Hyungwon. I’m not letting our friendship slip through our fingers. We can’t walk away from this. You can be mad at me if you want just—please don’t leave. Please stay.”
“Move, Kihyun,” he said, anger dripping from his voice. “I mean it.”
Kihyun shook his head, reaching out for his hand. Minhyuk wanted to pull away but for some reason he felt exhausted. He allowed Kihyun to take his other hand gently. He made eye contact with Kihyun’s teary eyes.
“Please, Min,” Kihyun said. “Please don’t leave.”
Minhyuk’s lips trembled. He couldn’t forgive Kihyun. Tears ran down his cheeks. It hurt so much still. Yes, the traumatic experience happened when they were children. But he didn't think that meant he had to forget. He had a right to be upset. Kihyun had hurt him so badly.
“I won’t forgive you,” Minhyuk said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I can’t forgive you.”
Kihyun nodded softly.
“Okay.”
Minhyuk tilted his head to the side confused.
“Okay?”
“I can’t make you forgive me,” Kihyun said. “I get it. It makes sense. I–just—I don’t think I can lose you both all over again. We’re best friends. After all these years, I still see you both as my best friends. I know I don’t deserve a second chance after what I did, but I don’t know.”
Minhyuk looked at Hungwon’s hopeful expression on his face and then glanced at Kihyun’s tear stained face. Minhyuk pulled his hands away and then grasped the fabric of his shirt within his fingers. It wasn’t fair. He couldn’t do it.
“I’m going to leave,” Minhyuk said, hands stuffed in his pockets. “I can't do this right now.”
“Min,” Hyungwon said.
Minhyuk laughed, the sound hollow.
“No worries. I won't disappear into the unknown,” he said. “I'll be back at some point.”
Minhyuk put his right hand on the doorknob and pulled the door open. He just needed to get away for a little while. All he needed was a moment to breathe.