Chapter Text
Edgar woke up to a foul smell. That’s when he realized that Karl was still covered with mud. And Karl was on top of him. He patted the top of his head, and lo and behold, pieces of dried mud and dirt fell off his head. Although the towel had wiped off most of the mud, there was still some left over.
He stood up, Karl jumping onto his nightstand, and knocking off his lamp, phone, and notebooks. Edgar sighed as he picked up the fallen objects and returned them where they belonged.
Edgar started his usual morning routine: showering, dressed, and such. He snuck a bagel and fed it to his new furry raccoon friend. While Karl was distracted, he wiped him with a towel. He then ate his breakfast.
Within ten to twenty minutes, he was ready for school. He was just wearing a shirt over a long-sleeved shirt with stripes, and black jeans. He almost left for school when he realized Karl would probably eat the science papers that he’d left.
“Um… what should I do with you, Karl? I mustn’t leave you alone…” Edgar said, worried about what would happen if he was gone, while pacing back and forth. While Edgar was deep in thought, Karl jumped back onto his head. That’s when Edgar decided to scoop up the raccoon and put it into his bag.
As Edgar stepped out of the door, he carefully checked if Karl was safe and secure in his bag. However, he noticed that Karl seemed to be squirming around restlessly in the bag, perhaps indicating some discomfort or unease.
The walk to school was nice, although Edgar couldn’t help but notice the leaves growing into the fall colors he loved. His favorite time of the year was Fall, as he loved the beautiful colors of the leaves, and Karl looked like he appreciated the crunch of the leaves as Edgar stepped on them.
Edgar arrived at school and walked into his homeroom. He sat down in front of Lucy and John. Lucy was eating something, not paying attention to John trying to steal part of her food.
The butterfly girl, or Yosano, whom he spoke to about the club, saying that she had two friends who would love to be in the book club, was busy painting her nails. Ranpo was also painting his nails. Her girlfriend had painted her nails the other day, so it makes sense. Ranpo acted as a third wheel to them. How pathetic.
However, the more Edgar thought about it, the more he realized how many people Ranpo knew. Maybe that was something to take into consideration. Edgar knew what Ranpo’s friend looked like, and they were menacing to him. Or, at least a little scary.
Lucy was looking at her phone when she suddenly crushed John’s hand, after finally noticing him trying to steal part of her bagel. “What was that for?!” John yelped, quickly moving his hand away from the angry redhead's fist (Edgar had noticed how most redheads have bad tempers.).
“Don’t even try to touch my food again, or else…” She glared at him, probably thinking of making a voodoo doll, just to freak him out for an act of petty revenge. Edgar had seen her make a voodoo doll of Mark, and like the… moron he was, he freaked out.
“‘L-Lucy.” Edgar cleared his throat, “Please don’t hurt anyone, there are a-always better ways to solve it…” He stuttered a little, trying to be more assertive. Lucy rolled her eyes, looking back at her phone.
“Edgar?” A voice came from behind him. He jumped up before freezing to look at who was behind him. It was Yosano. “Oh, h-hi again…” Edgar stammered. Yosano handed him a piece of paper.
The piece of paper contained a few names, probably the ones she thought would be good for the club. There were a few names he didn’t recognize at first, like Osamu Dazai, Ivan, who had a last name Poe wouldn’t even try to pronounce, and some of the middle school kids. But he ignored those names, and his eyes were immediately glued to the words, ‘Ranpo Edogawa’.
“I-I… thank you,” Edgar said, surprised that Ranpo Edogawa’s name was on this paper. Now, he had at least 6 members of the club, including himself. The bell rang and Homeroom started.
Homeroom quickly passed, meaning Edgar could finally get out of the same room as Ranpo. He couldn't even stand breathing in the same air. His first class was his least favorite, though. He didn’t like science, mainly because he wanted to write something, but science would shut it down.
Today, though, all the class did was a small Kahoot to review the lesson for the test tomorrow, and he suspected that the teacher was also tired of Edgar’s classmates.
The class felt shorter than usual, and his next class would be A.P. calculus. He and Ranpo had the next class, along with Dazai, a few others, and, notably, somehow the ginger at the B.C. level. It was surprising to Edgar, but looks can be deceiving.
Edgar sat down in his chair, putting his backpack on the ground next to him, while Ranpo sat annoyingly next to him. Edgar always had to make sure that Ranpo wasn’t making fun of him, so his eyes were glued to him.
“Alright, it’s nice to see you all again,” Ms. Christie said, welcoming everyone back into her class. She was about to tell us the page when Ranpo cracked open his workbook and went to a random page. Ms. Christie nodded after looking at the page number. It appears Ranpo was sickeningly right yet again.
“So, we are still on chapter two, and lesson 2.2. Ranpo guessed correctly, so give yourself a pat on the back.” Ms. Christie said, smiling before turning gracefully to the board. Edgar started to solve the problems on his own, focused so he could get it done quicker than Ranpo, who didn’t even have a pencil out.
One of the classmates who was sitting near him, the blonde one who was always focused on class, was writing even more notes than he or even Ranpo could ever. Dazai was watching him take notes at record speed, before drawing a dick on his paper.
The blonde crumpled up the paper before throwing that and a broken pen he broke in a fit of short anger at Dazai’s face. Edgar looked away.
The rest of the class seemed to pass quickly and yet slowly for Edgar. Before leaving to go to the Orchestra class, he watched Dazai try to beg for the teacher to split some cyanide with her, before Chuuya, whom Edgar assumed they were dating, dragged him off with the blonde one yelling at him.
The orchestra room was filled to the brim with Edgar’s classmates. Luckily for him, Ranpo didn’t take orchestra, but he was a band kid who played saxophone. The class was somehow more boring than ever. He was sitting next to the greasy-haired Russian, whom he admitted was a great player.
During the class, the teacher was going on and on about how their dynamics weren't too good. Meanwhile, Edgar, who was sitting in the back row, noticed that the cellist sitting next to him had suddenly made a hand gesture. Upon a closer look, he realized that the cellist had flipped off the teacher, but had quickly hidden it behind the instrument to avoid getting caught.
They were learning the songs from The Planets. Edgar played it his best, but during the short breaks, he would break out his laptop so he could keep writing. Karl was still in his backpack, and it appeared that the kit had fallen asleep.
He was finished with twenty of the thirty chapters he was going to write. Edgar’s mind was blank when it came to the next ten chapters. Oh, how he despised his writer's block.
Finally, it was his favorite period. He loved literature class, he was always exceeding expectations. He found comfort in the pages of the books, and he adored the sound of his favorite pen scratching at the pages.
“Hello, class,” Mr. Melville said, “You are all getting new seats, just for essays in the future, just to measure where you're at.” Edgar begrudgingly got up and moved, the rest of the class groaning, mad that they wouldn’t be next to someone they at least liked.
Edgar had noticed that Lousia and Lucy were a couple, even though they seemed like complete opposites. He used to sit next to Lousia, but they didn't talk much. He found it fascinating how two people so different from each other could be in love. Despite the lack of conversation, Edgar enjoyed observing their interactions and trying to understand what drew them to each other when they all could see each other, usually after or before school.
He was now sitting next to his enemy. His rival. His foe. Dare he say, his nemesis. Edgar had made sure that in all his classes, he would be sitting next to someone he could get along with or at least ignore.
“Now, please get your books out,” the teacher said, “Did everyone read chapters ten to twelve?” Most of the class nodded. Some sighed, probably because they just didn’t want to.
Edgar pulled out his book. He usually treated his books with the utmost care, and it was the same for the assigned book, Fahrenheit 451. However, it was already previously mistreated, with some pages having slurs written on them, and there was even some gum stuck on the cover. The class was preparing for the essay.
Ranpo sighed. “Ugh, this is soooo boring already…” he whined, “Hey, Poe! Entertain me!” Edgar looked at him in surprise. Ranpo was leaning back in his seat. Also, why was he calling him that? That wasn’t very… proper in Edgar’s eyes.
“I-I…” Edgar wanted to retort something back, but it came out as a whisper not even he could understand. “Well…-” Before he could even mutter another word, the teacher eyed him. Edgar hated it so much when the teacher would do that. He shrank down a little, trying to ignore that sweet smell of candy coming from Ranpo.
But Karl squeaked for it. Edgar blushed and covered his eyes with his bangs. “That was my chair!” He said out loud, No one genuinely cared. Even more embarrassing. Great.
“Mmm… boring.” Ranpo sighed, rubbing his eyes. “You are so boring.” Ranpo slipped a sucker into his mouth, eyes closed. Edgar had never seen Ranpo without his eyes closed. But Edgar did see Mr. Fukuzawa trying to persuade Ranpo to wear some glasses in the hallway once.
The teacher soon passed out papers. Edgar got his pencil out when he saw Ranpo going through the assignment, and he was a quarter through. Edgar was surprised, but he decided to start scribbling like never before.
At the last five-ish minutes left in class, Edgar started to pack up everything. Ranpo was sitting at his desk, sneaking peeks at his phone to check the time. Oddly enough, his phone wallpaper was of a raccoon. Huh. That was weird in Edgar's mind, but whatever.
The next class he had was History. He heard the bell go off before all of his classmates scrambled off to the next class. Edgar always wanted to be in the A.P. classes because it did not just make him look better than his classmates, it would make college easier, and he did learn.
“Edgar? Edgar? Edgar? Mr. Poe?” A long string of questions came from the teacher. “Come on, wakey, wakey, eggies and bacon!” Edgar opened his eyes to see his teacher poking him. Edgar pinched himself as a punishment for falling asleep. Edgar mumbled out an apology to his teacher.
Edgar’s head snapped to the board, where he saw whole paragraphs of notes. Notes are useful. And Edgar wanted them. He quickly scrambled it down. He then heard a giggle behind him. He knew that annoying giggle. “Oh, Eddie and Ranpo definitely like each other~!” Edgars looked behind him to see that Nikolai guy giggling at Junichiro, who was trying to look away, and wanted nothing to do with him.
“Shut it…” Edgar mumbled.
“Mmm… nope!” Nikolai smirked.
“It's not like you and the russian haven't-” He stopped himself.
“Haven’t what?”
Nikolai almost stood up, but Junichiro said something, causing him to sit back down. Edgar sighed; he was lucky. That goddamn moron was not just a massive annoyance, but a sociopath. Nikolai once shanked someone. And that someone was the russian.
Edgar decided that it would be a good idea to keep his head down for the rest of class.
The bell had rung again, signifying that the school day was over. Edgar packed up his supplies and quickly rushed out the door,and got out of the school.
He set his backpack on the ground and opened it to tack Karl out, to which he jumped on his shoulders. Edgar took a piece of candy he found and handed it to Karl. Very quickly, instead of paws taking it, a hand popped out from nowhere.
It was Ranpo. Of course. “Thank you Poe! I was feeling really hungry, and this really hit the spot. You're the best!” Ranpoe smacked Edgar’s back in a friendly way. “P-Poe’s not my name..” Edgar muttered out, to which Ranpo smirked. “Well technically it is your name, plus Ranpo isn’t my first name.” Edgar sighed at the retort being outsmarted.
“Anyways, how is the raccoon treating you? You look like you’re having fun. Maybe I might just beg Fukuzawa for one, hehe… Also, footnote, Nikolai and Dostoevnsky, which, wow, i can pronounce, did in fact do whatever you’re implying.”
Edgar wrinkled his nose at the thought of it. He sighed and moved his hair back. Ranpo held out his hand to the raccoon, to which Karl licked. Edgar moved Karl away protectively.
“What, dontcha trust me?” Ranpo questioned, tilting his head. Edgar sighed and moved the raccoon back, letting Ranpo pet Karl, until a car pulled up. “Ranpo, we have to go home. Get in the car.” Muttered Fukuchi, “Oh, and tell your friend here that he can come get dinner with us.”
Edgar wanted to refuse, but realized that his family would again be out. Ranpo looked at Edgar and Edgar nodded. Edgar texted his parents, then hopped into the car.
It was a terribly awkward ride to the restaurant, which was just a McDonald's Ranpo’s friend worked at. Ranpo would neglect the grumbles Edgar let out when Ranpo nudged him or just touched him the slightest bit.
“So…” Fukuzawa said, “Ranpo talks a lot about you. How long have you two been friends for?” Edgar glared back at Ranpo.
“Well, w-we’ve been friends since elementary school…” Poe lied through his teeth.
“How interesting. Say, do you know who has been writing “DILF” and “A cougar but male” on my door?” Now this felt like an interrogation.
“I-I… um, no, sir, Mr. Fukuzawa.” Edgar replied sheepishly. What the hell kinda question was that?
Ranpoe leaned onto Edgar’s shoulder and fell asleep. Edgar tried to push him off again, but this Ranpo was clinging onto him like he would fall out of the car if he let go.
This ride suddenly felt too long.
They soon pulled up, where Ranpo jolted awake and jumped out of the car. Fukuzawa soon followed, and lastly Edgar walked out and into the building. Ranpo picked out a seat, and both Fukuzawa and Edgar sat with them. Edgar dropped the backpack in the car.
Fukuzawa quickly asked and noted what everyone wanted, and then left to go to the counter. This meant they were alone. In public. Together. Edgar felt a little ashamed to be eating with his enemy.
And embarrassed when he saw not any of his classmates, but Louisa on her laptop, typing furiously, and drinking that weird Sprite that the place had. At some point, Louisa looked at him and Edgar looked straight back into her soul.
Ranpo waved to Fukuzawa, and quickly snatched the McNuggets, while Edgar politely took the fries he ordered, mumbled a thank you, and handed back the money, to which Fukuzawa denied.
“No, no. I couldn’t take your money. Plus, it was cheaper…than everything else on the menu.” Fukuzawa said, sitting next to Ranpo. Edgar looked dead into Louisa's eyes again and started to eat.
“So, Mr. Poe, I also heard that you have started your own club.” Fukuzawa continued, “Ranpo said he’s quite interested. Any help you need, just let me know. A friend of my sons is always welcome.” Edgar rubbed his neck, he really didn’t want to be a burden to him.
“We should definitely read like, I dunno, read like DogMan or Pride and Prejudice?” Ranpo chimed in. Those were to awfully different things, genre, age, and all.
Edgar nodded, not really listening and picking at his fries. He soon remembered the agonizingly boring pain of sitting in the car. On the thought of the car, he realized he left his backpack in the car. And what was in the backpack? Karl.
Suddenly, he felt like this dinner would take forever. Karl had only eaten a piece of candy. What if he starved? Or what if the candy had been too much, and Karl dedicated the car? Edgar suddenly felt hot and dumb. Ranpo quickly noticed this and gave him a hard pat on the shoulder.
“Are you good, Poe? Cuz if you’re full, I would love to eat your fries for you!” Ranpo smiled happily, taking one fry and seemingly swallowing it whole. If that was even logically possible.
After an agonizing fifteen minutes of small talk, that if this were a book, the author would skip because it would be too awkward to write, Edgar had said his goodbyes and gotten his backpack from the car, looking inside to see a sleeping Karl.
“Ah, Mr. Fukuzawa… I can just walk home. I-I think I know the way.” Edgar muttered, as the other two soon drove away.
He lied.
He didn’t know where the hell he was. He checked his phone and realized it would be a thirty minute walk back.
He got Karl out and started walking back home.
Five minutes later, he realized he had no idea where he was. He sat down on a curb. A car quickly pulled up to him. “Aw, Poe, too embarrassed to ride home with your daaaate~?” A voice said. Edgar looked up to see Lucy looking at him, with Louisa in the passenger seat. Louisa must have told her!
Louisa looked away, while Lucy that sick smirk still on her face. “Need a ride?” She smirked. Edgar nodded in defeat. He got into the backseat, and checked on Karl every so often, just to make sure he was still alive and well. Edgar glared into the seat in front of him, which was Louisa.
“Got any leftovers?” Lucy asked. Edgar handed her a pocket fry. She ate it happily. “So, Louisa. How w-was your experience at the restaurant?” Edgar smirked, trying to be strong and intelligent compared to her. But he still just sounded like a wimp.
“It’s McDonald’s. It not that fancy. You talk about it like it’s the Cheesecake Factory. I’ve seen too many awful things there, too. Theres really no hope for it! That’s why Wendy’s is better.” Lucy ramambled on about, somehow still focused on the road as well.
“I’m sorry…” Louisa muttered out. Edgar knew that he really couldn’t be mad at her, there was very little excitement for her anyways, it was known all she was read and tutor. Sometimes he would see her writing furiously on her laptop. He always wanted to know what was on her precious laptop.
Edgar sighed. He didn’t really want to go home per say, he just didn’t want to see his deadbeat family. His brothers were probably just getting drunk at some college party, and his parents were probably doing one of their little theatre things, as his mother is an actor and his father was also there.
He pushed his hair back and sighed again. And what if his family was actually home? He would have to tell them he basically went on an accidental date with his sworn rival. Even he didn’t completely understand how that could accidentally happen.
The car quickly pulled up to his house. “Now, please, move your butt out of my nice clean car.” Lucy politely asked, which made Edgar roll his eyes. He could imagine his mother telling him his eyes would roll back into his head if he ever did that again.
He waved goodbye to the two girls, and go into his house. He flopped down onto the couch and started on some homework. He lost focus very quickly, as he basically melted onto the couch.
What did happen earlier with Ranpo? Did it actually happen? And why did Poe-er-Edgar, oh no, the voice narrating was even calling him that, not feel so angry at being with Ranpo. He actually thought that somes of his antics weren’t that annoying.
Ah, whatever.
That’s a tomorrow problem.