Chapter Text
There was a weight on Bo’s neck. She couldn’t move, her body restricted by something heavy, someone heavy. The lights were bright around her, burning into her face as she was forced to lay there. She could feel her limbs getting heavy, a pressure building in her head that she couldn’t shake, as her eyes began to close on their own. At least, that’s what she thought was happening. Darkness flitted around the edges of her vision, and everytime she tried to blink it away it got harder and harder to reopen her eyes. The lights above flashed red once, twice, and then the darkness took over. The screaming and cheering she could barely hear over the sound of her own blood rushing in her ears faded away completely, leaving only silence to keep her company. Her body became weightless and she let herself drift into the nothingness that surrounded her. She was nothing. She felt like she should attempt to open her eyes, but her eyelids were so heavy, and she had a feeling deep down that even if she had opened her eyes, there would be nothing to see. That darkness was surrounding her so closely that she wouldn’t be able to sense herself. She tried to remember how she got there, memories slipping past her like smoke until she realized she didn’t care. She knew she had a body, limbs and torso all kept together by something, but it didn’t matter. It was safe in the void. There was a spike of pain in her shoulder, a crunching feeling in her neck as if it were collapsing on itself– it’s safe. One moment she could feel everything and the next the memory of what pain even was slipped from her grasp. There was no pain here. Only the quiet, only calm, because the void may be dark but it’s safe, the void is safe–
Something was wrong. Bo felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise. She knew that something was missing, she could remember what was missing: something before. Something before the void, before the dark, before the weightless nothingness that she had become but she couldn’t hold on to it long enough. She couldn’t hold on to what it was, but she missed it. Why couldn’t she remember anything; there was nothing, only the void. A buzzing began in the back of her head, and she felt her eyes scrunch tight. The pressure in her head grew as the buzzing got louder, cheers and screams growing soft, ebbing and flowing like water. Like waves. The pressure pulsed, turning into something she didn’t want to remember, growing and growing into a sensation she had never felt before; she was safe, she was safe, thevoidissafe–
The caw of a seagull overhead caused Bo’s eyes to snap open. She didn’t realize she had been closing them, but the constant early mornings would affect anyone, not just her. She shook her head a little, trying to shake off the last of the sleep that seemed to have a hold on her. She didn’t remember being asleep– The sky was dark when she looked out onto the horizon, but was steadily beginning to lighten as the first hints of sunrise were starting to appear. The ground beneath her wobbled a little bit, and she had to put her hands out to steady herself. Her feet were bare on the metal floor of the boat, and it was cold. There was an inkling in her mind that she should be wearing shoes, but they had gotten drenched and she was complaining that her socks were squishy, so Dad– Light was only a speck in her vision, the lighthouse to her right illuminating what it could of the coastline as both the town and the ocean seemed to hold its breath for the approaching dawn. Bo couldn’t help but lean closer to the edge of the boat, needing to get closer: to get a better view. She climbed up onto the railing, leaning over it a little bit to look, to try and see everything in the vast emptiness–
A deep chuckle sounded from behind her. She felt strong hands grab her waist before she could slip, her feet on the biting metal of the railings. The hands held her in place, grasping a little too tight, but she didn’t dare move.
“What did I tell you about climbing the rails?” Her father laughed again, “I can’t just lose my favourite navigator to the depths of the sea. Who would read my map for me?” Follow the directions of the Map– her father ruffled her hair before picking her up, setting her down on the top rail so she was sitting. Her legs hung over the side of the boat, and she could feel the spray of cold water jumping up at her. She wiggled her toes a little as her father held her steady, wrapping his arms around her waist into a semi-hug. He smelt of the sea, and his shampoo, and faintly of sweat and old water from moving the ropes around, but Bo could ignore it because he was warm, and she was small, and her dad was holding her. She leaned back into him, and felt his arms tighten minutely, as if he was soaking up her warmth as well.
It was always calm, these mornings with him. With no other people around, the only sounds that cut through the early morning were the waves against the hull of the boat and their own breathing, unintentionally hushed as if afraid to break the natural silence. Bo dreaded the day the summer ended and she would have to go back to school. She watched as the sky got brighter, turning from an inky black to a warmer indigo, and then to a deep navy blue, before the sky exploded in a burst of colours as the sun finally breached the horizon. Reds and yellows and pinks and oranges scattered in the sky, streaked above her head and in front of her eyes as if it were painted on a canvas. It wasn’t until the colours disappeared, fading into a normal sky blue that Bo felt her dad sigh, before a kiss was placed against the top of her head.
“Come on, kiddo,” His arms released her slightly as he lifted her off the railing, placing her back on the tough metal of the floor. ‘If I had the skills to paint like that, I’d never stop’– “Time to get moving. Up and at ‘em, so to speak.” He chuckled to himself, running his hand down her hair as he moved away from her.
Something clicked in Bo’s mind. That’s not what he was supposed to say; that’s not how this went– Bo suddenly felt much older, as she turned to face her dad. He looked like he usually did, strong and confidently moving across the deck of the ship as if he had done this all his life, as if he would do this for the rest of his life, until– He glanced up at her from where he was retying some ropes.
“Bo? You good kid?” She looked at him, and he gave her a half smile, confusion written clearly on his face. She has- had- has his eyes– “Should I get a bucket? If you’re going to be sick, throw up over the side, remember?” Movement over his shoulder caught Bo’s attention, and she froze.
There was a woman standing on the water. She was far enough away that Bo couldn’t make out her face, and if she got pulled under the waves they couldn’t get to her in time, but she knew that the woman was looking directly at her. Her hair was golden, shining and flowing with light as if from the fire from the still rising sun. The skin that Bo could see was a deep orange; the rest covered with a dark red dress that plunged low and was long enough to flow into the water. The waves around her sparkled as if she were giving off sunlight herself, yet lapped and hit her legs as if she were an immovable object. She lifted a hand, 3 fingers raised as she stared at Bo. The woman tilted her head a little as she dropped her arm, looking Bo up and down. Bo felt warm, couldn’t stop the heat from rushing to her cheeks, but it was almost too warm, as if her skin were on fire and her blood was going to boil her from the inside out–
Her dad stepped in her view, breaking the eye contact. He crouched down, eyes searching Bo’s face. A light buzzing began in the back of her head. He brought his hand up to her forehead for a few seconds, before pulling away and looking at her curiously, “Well, you don’t feel super warm.” He glanced down, and inhaled a deep breath, letting it all out in a, “Shit, your shoes.” When he got up, racing to find her shoes, the woman behind him was gone, leaving only the open ocean in her place. The pressure in her head grew, amplifying the waves surrounding and hitting the boat. She could hear her father rushing around, trying to find the shoes he had left somewhere to dry. She grasped the railing behind her, feeling as though she was actually going to be sick. This isn’t how this went, it’s safe, dad never said this, it’s ok, I was never on the boat this long–
Bo leaned over the edge of the railing, her hips reaching the top rail and allowing her to bend over almost fully. Dad would kill me if he found out I was doing this- I’m an adult I can do what I want- but I’m only seven- oh god I’m going to be sick–
Bo’s foot slipped, the deck slick with a layer of water as the sun rose fully, melting the chill of the metal. The buzzing in her head grew exponentially as she flipped over the railing, losing her grip and falling through the open air. The sunlight turned harsh on her face as she fell, air whipping past her face. She scrunched her eyes closed, bracing for impact against the cold, hard water–
Everything went silent. And Bo woke up.