Chapter Text
Their first date was also Wren's first date… ever. He stood in front of the mirror in his room just like the first time they were supposed to meet. His mother had already made plenty of assumptions, and finally set her mind on a date before even talking to him.
“I’m just… meeting up with Zane,” he answered simply, but not without a blush, when she finally asked that question. She frowned at the response but didn’t question it further - they have always had a weird relationship, and she felt like the less she knew the better.
After breaking into tears as he changed his clothes over and over again, never being able to find something that felt right, he sat on the floor in an attempt to soothe his nerves. He rocked back and forth, his hair sticking to his face.
Why couldn’t he just be normal about anything in his life? He hated himself for being so… out of place. Whilst everybody around him seemed to already have some kind of experience, he was a COMPLETE loser. He didn’t deserve Zane, or that date, or anything at all…
Those hateful words echoed through his brain, only to be interrupted by a discord notification sound. He immediately grabbed his phone, worrying about it being Sematary asking why he was late (though he still had over an hour to get ready)… but it wasn’t his boyfriend, but one of the only friends he had - an internet one.
The name EternityChaos popped up and he felt a little more at ease at that moment. He had known her for years, and even though they rarely ever really talked at this point, they still would give each other monthly updates on how their lives were going, bonus whatever sudden important things.
“good luck on the date ghost. dont stress yourself out too much, am sure it will be great<33333 maya is keeping her fingers crossed for you as well(((:”
A familiar warmth washed over him as he read the text. Maya was her girlfriend of over two years; he would often play games with both of them, even back when they weren’t dating.
“thank u 💜 i’m lowk terrified tho lol idk what to wear”
“clothes probably”
“unless you stay home w him((((;”
“ew”
“fuck you”
"<333"
He chuckled and wiped his face with his palms. God, he needed to pull himself together. He shakily stood up, took a deep breath and another look in the mirror, judging. A sigh escaped his lips as he shook his head and brushed his fingers through his hair, still needing to calm down a little.
“Okay… okay. Fuck it. It will be fine,” he began muttering under his breath as he once again started rummaging through the clothes on the floor. Eventually, he reached down for a pair of his favorite brown pants. They hung kind of low on his hips and were quite baggy, but he rolled with it; they were one of the most comfortable pieces he owned, and he needed that comfort at that moment.
He tried on the only button up shirt he owned (besides his beloved flannel), an Affliction one he managed to thrift. It was beige, with black embroidery on the front pockets. It wasn’t the most elegant thing ever, but he liked the look. He also put on his favorite bracelets and the necklace he had gotten from Zane and stuffed his pockets with all the necessities. The breakdown he had just gone through now seemed completely unnecessary and stupid.
A quick glance at the clock let him know that he still had some time before he was supposed to leave, so he went to brush his teeth and fix his hair one last time. He could also peacefully clean up the mess he had made when he was in panic, and that calmed him down even more.
When the time was up, he simply left the house. His mom was still at home so he didn’t bother with locking the door. It was a warm, Saturday afternoon in the middle of April, but he still shivered - partly from stress and partly from the cold wind. Even though he could still go back and quickly grab a jacket, he was too excited to see Sematary.
They met halfway between their houses, and Wren couldn’t help his heart melting when he saw the big, dumb grin on his face. He wanted to kiss him right there, right then, but the painful realization that his mom might be watching stopped him from doing just that.
“Hello baby…” he was greeted with a kiss on the cheek; delicate and discreet. Zane’s firm grip on his waist made him tremble and tighten his own arms around him. “You look real good…”
“Thank you,” he blushed softly and looked down, taken aback by the random compliment. He scanned his boyfriend’s appearance, taking in the brown Ralph Lauren’s polo and True Religion jeans he was wearing, paired with his beloved New Rocks he got last christmas and a denim jacket matching his pants. “You do too, Zaney…”
“Aw, stop that bullshit,” Sem laughed, blushing deeply at the nickname. He didn’t really hate it, he was just… shy about it. “Ready to get going?”
“Yeah, sure thing.”
They had to go back to Sematary’s place to take the car, but they were soon on the road. They were listening to one of the usual playlists, just like any other day. Zane gave him an apologetic look when yet another Chief Keef song came up.
“Sorry it’s nothin’ more… romantic or something. I wanted to make a playlist but gave up ‘cause I had no idea what to add…”
“It’s all good, man… It’s cool,” Ghost shrugged and just continued to fiddle with his fingers in his lap, stealing occasional glances at the focused expression on the other one’s face. He eventually relaxed a little and scooted a little closer to Sem in his seat. “Where are you taking me, by the way…?”
“Surprise,” he answered with a smirk and took a quick glance at his boyfriend. “I’m sorry but I’on wanna spoil it. Though I can guarantee you’ll like it.”
A roll of eyes came his way, but went unnoticed. Wren didn’t really like surprises - they made him anxious. Still, he tried his best to calm down and believe Zane. After all, he knew him quite well, so he could probably be trusted with planning activities they would both like…
Finally, they pulled up to the closest city where they often spent time after school. This time, though, they didn’t stop at any usual place. Sematary parked the car in one of the side streets and commanded them to leave.
“We needa take a little walk. Hope you won’t freeze your ass off,” he explained in a rather amused manner, finally grabbing Wren’s hand. He squeezed it tightly, keeping close to his boyfriend for the exact reason he pointed out.
“I didn’t expect it to be this cold,” his attempt to defend himself was only greeted by more laughter. He blushed yet again. “And besides… I was too hooked on seein’ you, okay?“
They both chuckled as they followed whatever path Zane seemed to have in his mind. After walking for about 10 more minutes, they found themselves in the middle of a flea market. It wasn’t very big, but definitely had enough stands for them to have fun. What’s more, there weren't too many people there to annoy them.
Ghost’s eyes glittered with joy as he took in the place. It was like a dream come true; his grandma used to take him to flea and farmer markets quite often when he was a kid. He mentioned it just a few times throughout their friendship, so Sem really had to pay attention to what he was saying…
That realization made him feel even giddier, almost bouncing like a little ball. People didn’t usually give a second thought to whatever he was talking about. Nobody ever remembered his favorites, interests and hobbies… not even his family. He got used to it, but this was a nice change nevertheless.
“Remember when we agreed to go thrifting one day? The first time we hung out,” Sematary asked, smiling at the reaction of his boyfriend. “I know we’ve done that plenty of times, but this is a little… different.”
“You’re the sweetest,” Wren replied and wrapped his arms around his neck for a quick moment. The little peck on the cheek he gave Zane was a bold move, but he didn’t care at that exact moment. He was the one who insisted on keeping their relationship secret, but that seemed to be an exception.
“Be careful, buddy. Loads of old people ‘ere, and I doubt you wanna get harassed, eh?” he chuckled in response, a bright blush coming right back onto his face. His own hands were on Ghost’s waist, though, so it was a bit of hypocrisy
“Whatever…” he mumbled and rolled his eyes, but ended up letting go of his neck anyways. They began to wander through the paths, looking for any interesting trinkets on the blankets and tables. They didn’t hold hands, too shy and afraid of judgement, but kept close nevertheless.
Eventually, after plenty of time spent on carefully scanning each stand, they settled on a pair of pins with tiny spiders they found on one of them. That was for whatever matching thing they promised each other to get. They also spent a lot of time at the vintage camera display on which Wren got really hooked.
People didn’t really give them weird looks - they seemed to be just two teenage boys hanging out as friends. Nothing more. It made them lower their guard, thankfully not resulting in any unpleasant situations.
“Next time we go here, I’ll get you a ring,” Sematary stated jokingly as they walked by one of the jewelry stands on their way out. Behind the playful demeanor there was still a hint of truth - it was the first thing that appeared in his mind each time his eyes landed on a ring.
“Really? That’s sweet… I never worn any, though. I’d have to check it out before you spend money ‘cause I may fucking tweak over it…”
“Chill. You can always wear it on a necklace,” he replied, absolutely endeared by Ghost’s obliviousness. As soon as they disappeared around the corner from the flea market, their hands intertwined yet again. “But for now, better tell me if you wanna get something to eat, hmm?”
It made him think for a minute or so. He was happy to spend time with Sem, of course, but trying to keep away from him and pretending to be… ‘normal’… it already started to throw him off. He never enjoyed going into restaurants, cafés… even regular shops. It felt as if everyone was staring at him, and it made him anxious.
“I dunno, Zane… Will this be the end of the date if I say no…?”
“Nah, it’ll just mean we drive home. We can pick up somethin’ on our way home…”
“Oh, cool. Like… a drive-thru? I like this one. We can stay in your room later, yeah?”
“Yeah. And watch a movie or somethn’, if you want.”
Wren nodded enthusiastically at the explained option. Eating some regular stuff in the safety of his boyfriend’s room felt just right. He didn’t need any new, fancy food in elegant places. He just wanted to be able to show Zane affection, because that was what he looked forward to the most, and what he couldn’t do in the middle of the city.
They decided to get McDonald’s on their way to the car, and also that they needed to stop at the gas station for red bulls and actually filling up the vehicle. As Sematary was opening the beaten-up Chevy, Ghost grabbed him by the wrist and pushed against the side of the car, his other clammy hand pinning him against the warmed up metal.
“Whoa, whoa, dude…” Sem chuckled as he looked down, into his boyfriend’s eyes. There was plenty of uncertainty and shyness in them, but more importantly, there was also an undeniable look of absolute love. Soft palms gripped his waist with contentment. “Whatcha doin’, hmm?”
“I… I want to kiss you,” he admitted, blushing profusely. He really wanted to be… bold. Romantic, even. But his attempts were messed up by his nervousness and inexperience. He was ready to beat himself up for it, but thankfully Zane didn’t mind it at all. In fact, he adored his efforts and wanted to make him as comfortable in them as he could.
“Well… kiss me, then.”
“I still haven't quite figured out how to do it without our teeth clashing.”
Sem couldn’t contain his laughter, but he didn’t try to mock Wren with it. He was sweet in his clumsiness, and it made his boyfriend want to just scoop him up into his arms and kiss him senseless himself.
“It’s cool. Just… like, take my face in your hands and tilt your head to the side and… y’know. Kiss me.”
“My palms are kinda… sweaty. Won’t you mind it?”
“Dude, I don’t care. Literally just… kiss me. Stop overthinking…”
Ghost let out an annoyed huff, but he proceeded to take his face into hands as instructed, and tilted his head to the side as well. He fluttered his eyes closed as their lips met, still feeling rather awkward, but at the same time pretty pretty proud of himself. They avoided accidentally hitting each other’s teeth, and that was a nice change.
The kiss didn’t last long, since they were both still kinda worried about anyone seeing them - a few people passed by them when they were only holding hands, and they both caught a glimpse of two, maybe three disapproving glares. It only played even worse tricks on Wren’s fear of being perceived, and gave Zane more reasons to be angry at the world around him.
They quickly pulled away completely as they noticed an older woman in a distance, looking at them with evident criticism. They didn’t really need any negativity right then, so they hid inside the car. Sematary started the engine and drove off before even fastening the seat belt.
They chuckled and laughed on their way to get the food, and then back home, but deep inside, there still was… disappointment of some kind. They both enjoyed the part of the date spent in the city, but there was something missing. Other couples could safely hold hands all the way through their dates, or even kiss where others could see it with no fear.
They couldn’t. Ghost asked himself one question - will it ever be okay for them to show affection publicly? If yes, then how long will it take for people to fully accept it? They could get married, they could even adopt a child if they wanted - he knew there was a long time to go until they would be interested in that, but he was known for his overthinking, obviously - but people still didn’t like it. They didn’t like them.
Zane’s head was partially occupied with those thoughts as well. He wasn’t worrying about it, though - he was angry. It hurt him that they were considered not as valid as straight people, and that really drove him mad. He really loved Wren and wasn’t going to let anyone make either of them feel bad for just being happy.
